*I'm just warning you this chapter is rather dark so if you want you may skip on ahead*

Broken. Sounds and figures move around him. James stumbles. Another shot of the tray of a passing waiter. Schnapps. Sitting down to a hand of cards. 2 and Queen. One pair. Two pair. Full house. Collecting a few coins.
Midnite is as close to how he remembers the clubs as ever. Limiting himself to no drinks, James reached out for another shot. His hand brushed soft skin. Pale hands. The girl backs away. He grins in delight and takes the shot. She must be a first timer. Like Lily's first time...who the fuck is she? A slim brunette brushed up against him, her hips touching his for a moment. She looks at him in complete dependence. She smells of old memories and dirty deals. She smells of addiction, cravings, rollercoasters, ice and fire, black and white.
Lost. Why is he here? James promised Lily he would avoid this type of skanky place. Why should he obey her? They are done, she was just another of his tricks, and this curvy blond is next.
The girl stands in the middle of a parted crowd. He hips swing back and fourth to the newest Madonna song. Her hair is tangled and wild. Its sticking to her face and the back of her neck. Beauty, addiction, wild hot nights, and teenage hormones pour off of her mixing with the smell of music and cheap perfume. James moved up through the crowds, stopping only to accept a small joint of some mediocre marijuana from some wasted boy in dirty jeans. He picked a lighter up off the table and put the messy light into his mouth. He missed this life.
His first time here had been three summers ago. He was at a camp not to far away when he managed to sneak out. That was the first time he ever got a girl alone. It had been too easy. Slim, blond, a face like a potato, the girl had followed him around. His heat was beating to the music, his head pounding to the tune of an overdose, his body jerking to the sound of happiness, of pleasure and of too many years flying. She was wearing excess makeup, trying to cover up her flawed skin and exhausted eyes. What was her name?
He didn't remember. She just moved in and he didn't stop her. High as a beanstalk and a boy gone to face a giant her flew her away. Dirty back rooms were made for this kind of shit. She hadn't known what he was doing. Her skin had been rough, her cries far rougher, and they had danced away the night.
High on drugs, not life. Happy by addiction not adventure. Giddy off of chemicals not care. That was what he gave up for her. Lily...

Ice cold water. Boiling champagne. Ice cold hands, boiling hearts. Ice cold worlds, boiling centres.
Ice and fire to burn him and cut him and break him and mold him into the hungry famine of addiction. He was just another member of the family. Crazy teen cried out in excitement when good songs blasted, breaking open his ears. Dirty burnouts sulked in corners holding trays of drinks, drugs and knives. What else do you do?

They are playing games and smoking in the corner. He waltzes over to join them during particularly dull moments. Girls sucking at strip poker and boys who have never done a sport in their lives drunk as fuck and still playing beer pong. Older girls cockily abstaining from all of this, just too cool and sober designated drivers trying to hit on them.
Jabbering like birds in rapid French.
The pretty blond girl turns his way and her eyes catch him in shock. She isn't fourteen anymore, her makeup is cleaner, her skin is beautiful, he does know her. She does a quick little spin before coming over. And all across her back is black and red. Ink and scars. Beauty and beast. Don't get close to her, every follicle of his being screams in his heart but it's drowned out by every brain cell he had left crying out for one more night. Seeing how much she learned in 3 years. Remember this girl? Remember the one you're trying to forget?
Whiskey spilled down James's arm as a college guy elbows his way between them.
Out of focus and lost. Confusion takes over the girl's eyes and James remembered another confusion in his girl's eyes.

"What the hell James?!" Lily stood in the door of the closet, her hair tied back and her dark lipstick highlighting her lips.
He wanted it smeared. He wanted her on him now. His hand clutched a needle and syringe. Cold ice ran down his arm and rushed into his face, mixing blush and bloodless terror to make him look normal. She dropped her flowers onto the ground, his uncollected mind marveled that no petals fell off each yellow rose. In her other hand was a delicate glass, its contents were an appealing clear colour but he knew the drink he wanted wasn't in that glass. In disgust she tipped its contents out onto him and the closet floor. Cold water. Ice chunks. He wasn't a witch. Why did he feel like he was melting? Her sobs permeated his drunken haze.
"What the fuck James? Why are you on that shit?" Her eyes were filled with tears and hate and desperation and confusion.
"Lily..."He stood up; glad tonight he had stopped in time. Overdosing here wasn't safe.
"I thought you were different. There are guys like you at every school. Go get some help." She turned away but she couldn't take a step. He knew she couldn't walk away from his suffering. He knew she wanted to help him.
"Evans...wait." She stood very still, her shoulders up as if she was shivering. Her head tipping slightly. Cold rushed through him as his mind realized the flow had stopped. Heat rushed through him as Lily exhales slowly. He tried to speed up his breathing but the morphine was in control. He exhaled. He inhaled.
"James. I didn't date you so you could get high and try to get into my pants. I don't want to hurt you." Her voice broke but she persevered. "But you need to decide. You can have either me or your stupid poisons." She never turned back to face him. She just stood there with rattled sobs escaping her flawless mask of perfection.
"That's an easy choice." He said slowly. The drugs felt so nice. Calming and exciting, exhilarating, building him up, soothing, giving him everything he needed. "I want you."

The blond pushed past the stranger to him. She knew him and she thought she knew what he wanted. Did she? What did he want?