Chapter VI: Overloading
Five minutes to midnight at the Gotham City Military Science Museum.
Amid displays of machinery parts, intelligence devices, and various weapons, a single display case - only a few feet away from the restrooms - held a seemingly inocuous and clunky-looking device. It was about the size of a laptop computer, or a small suitcase, and appeared to be a modified typewriter, with electrical outlets attached to it, along with labeled wheels, contained inside a wooden box.
This was the Enigma Machine.
Out of each of the restrooms stepped a pair of lowly janitors. They were each dressed in green custodial uniforms, complete with baseball caps. One was tall and thin, with a gaunt, bony face and a sharp, pointed nose; the other was short and round, with a face like a roasted ham in shape and size. Both were pale, with dark green eyes and oily-looking black hair. There was something hollow and empty about the looks in their eyes, and their mouths were set in tight, thin lines as they moved almost robotically about their work.
The two janitors were utterly silent as they left the bathrooms and began to clean around the space surrounding the Enigma Machine case. Once in a while, the fat one would glance up at the security cameras nearby, which audibly whirred and fizzed. There were no physical guards in the museum this evening, but the automated security system had kept most bandits away from the place.
Until now.
DONG...DONG...DONG…!
Both men froze, and the thin man glanced back over his shoulder, ears pricking up. It was Gotham's famous Wayne Memorial Clock Tower, sometimes affectionately called "Big Benjamin" as a joke among the people.
Midnight had arrived.
The two janitors looked at each other...and their hollow-looking eyes narrowed as they nodded to one another.
"Time to clean up," they whispered in unison.
The two pulled a set of washrags out from the pockets of their coveralls, and got down on all fours as if to scrub the floor…
Now with their backs to the cameras, each reached up to their hats to adjust them...and pressed hidden buttons on the brims of their caps.
One by one, the security cameras in the museum began to shut down, visibly going limp on their automated stands.
The two janitors stood up, placed their washcloths back in their pockets, and moved closer to the Enigma Machine's display case.
The short, fat janitor reached into the cleaning cart...and pulled out what looked like a V-shaped adhesive patch. He placed it against the glass carefully, making sure it was firmly attached, and then stepped back.
"Silent Alarm nullified," he grunted.
The thin man responded by removing the handle from his mop...revealing that, at the base of the handle, was a small blade, made of silver and coated with diamond dust.
Using the hidden glass cutter inside the mop handle, the tall custodian carefully cut a rectangular hole in the display case, just large enough to slip the Machine through...and carefully set the cut-out piece of glass on the floor.
"Operation Enigma is nearly complete," he hissed to the other custodian in a business-like tone.
The fat man nodded...then stopped and narrowed his eyes.
"Hey, what's that?"
He pointed to what he meant, and his associate followed his pointing hand, and tilted his head in reaction to what they saw.
Near a floor grate sat what looked like a Rubik's Cube.
The two gave each other a hollow, confused glance, before moving closer to the cube…
"Where did this come from?" mumbled the fat man, as the thin man picked the puzzle up.
"Question!"
Both men froze, and glanced around, as a voice seemed to echo around them.
"Who's there?" snapped the thin man.
"I flash forever down a current, so wild and so untamed...but if you bring me near the river then you just might wind up maimed. What am I?"
"Show yourself!" both men shouted in response.
"Answer!" the voice barked. "ELECTRICITY!"
Right on cue, two bolts of electrical energy shot out of two sides of the cube...and struck the two crooked janitors.
ZZZAP!
With a jolt, a shriek, and finally a groan, the two ghoulish custodians crumpled to the ground, and the cube dropped out of their grasp.
No sooner had the pair collapsed in an unconscious heap, then a floor grate opened up...and with a high-pitched giggle, out bounced another man, who promptly scooped up the cube.
The man who stepped out was of average and height and somewhat limber build. He was garbed in an emerald green suit, derby hat, and trousers, underneath which he wore a similar green vest, and a black dress shirt, shoes, and gloves, along with a green formal suit tie.
Attached to the tie was an purple gemstone pin...in the shape of a question mark.
The man grinned, his brown eyes rich as pools of chocolate behind a pair of purple-tinted sunglasses that were perched upon his nose. He stamped his foot down...and out of the still-open floor grate bounced a long, golden cane in the shape of a giant question mark. With a snicker, the man caught it in mid-air, and used his foot to close the grate.
"My thanks to you, gentlemen!" he said, doffing his hat, revealing the short dirty blonde hair beneath it. "You've made this exceptionally easy! Riddle Me This: why was the janitor called to trial? Answer: they said he couldn't clean up his act! HOOHOOHOOHEEHEEHEE!"
With a manic giggle, the Riddler practically danced over to the display case, and used the crook of his cane to shut the Enigma Machine...before pulling it out through the hole in the glass.
"Work smarter, not harder," he smirked, then inspected the box for a moment...and smirked a bit wider as he focused on the bottom part of the machine. His purple glasses glinted in the moonlight that streamed through a nearby window…
...Then, he heard the sound of footsteps, and the smirk once more became a grin.
"Well, well, so the shaved monkey has arrived!" he began, and started to turn his head to look up. "I am surprised it took you-"
The smile was struck from his face as, out of the shadows, stepped not Batman...but a tall, elegant woman in a floppy red hat, who wore a matching trenchcoat over her dark catsuit.
One of Carmen Sandiego's steely blue eyes glittered mysteriously as she smiled a sly, thin smile, quietly rubbing her black-gloved hands together as she leaned against a wall beside the ladies' bathroom.
"I've been called many things," she said in a silky, creamy sort of voice. "But a shaved monkey? That IS a new one."
The Count of Conundrums scowled, and took a step back...as more footsteps were heard. Moments later, three other figures joined her: two of them were a pair of VILE-Bots, identical to those who had assisted Buggs Zapper two nights ago. The third was a woman, about the same height and build as Carmen Sandiego, though clearly at least a few years older. Her hair was light brown, with a long streak of shocking silver down the middle, and was unfashionably barbered in a crew cut. She wore strawberry pink lipstick, and a set of high-tech looking goggles that completely hid her eyes from view. Over a fuschia-colored blouse and a set of kahki pants, she wore a milky white labcoat.
A name tag on the coat identified this second woman as "Dr. Sara Bellum."
"After my incidents with Catwoman and Joker," Carmen purred, "I anticipated you, of all people, might get involved in this caper. So I prepared this little personal greeting in the event my Cleaners failed to complete their mission. I will be taking the Machine now, Mr. E. Nygma."
"Over my dead body!" the Prince of Puzzles spat.
"I wouldn't dream of going that far," shrugged Carmen. "But, if you won't be cooperative...Sara?"
Dr. Bellum smirked, nodded, and reached into her labcoat...pulling out a small device that looked like something out of an old sci-fi film, comprised a strangely-shaped tablet and a small microphone.
"VILE-Bots!" the woman in the labcoat commanded in a thick French accent. "Get him, and get ze Enigma Machine!"
The two robots promptly hurried forward. The Riddler sneered and lifted his cane...then pulled a hidden trigger, firing at the two bots.
PING! PING! PING!
Each bullet bounced off easily. With a growl, the Riddler promptly began to run towards the floor grates…
One of the VILE-Bots lifted its cannon arm, and fired…
"GAH!" exclaimed the Riddler, as a green capture orb surrounded him, and he dropped the Enigma Machine. Sara Bellum twisted a dial on her device...and the Enigma Machine dropped to the floor through a hole that formed in the forcefield, before said forcefield sealed up again.
"Bravo for your quick thinking, Doctor," Carmen congratulated, as one of the VILE-Bots picked up the Enigma Machine and brought it back over to the leader of VILE and her chief scientist.
"Merci, Carmen," Sara Bellum responded, and bowed in a servile manner to her employer.
The Lady in Red smirked as she held the Enigma Machine in one hand and prowled towards the Riddler, placing her other hand on her hip as she looked up at the other villain, who glared back at her hatefully.
"Question, Mr. Nygma: how are you like a bad horoscope? Answer: you are much too easy to predict."
"Oh, really?" Riddler sneered. "Well, here's one for you: how are you like a comedian with a banana peel? Answer: sometime, you're going to slip up."
"Now is not that time, Mr. Nygma," Carmen Sandiego shrugged, and turned her back on the Riddler.
She hadn't gotten three steps before the Riddler called out: "I know what you're planning!"
Carmen paused and looked over her shoulder.
"Do you, now?"
"I don't know the other pieces yet," Riddler warned. "But believe me, I'm going to find out. I already know this one."
The Lady in Red smiled, seemingly unfazed, the one eye the Riddler could see actually lighting up with a hint of something like excitement.
"Good to know," she said, coolly. "But that doesn't change my plans one bit. Indeed, I'd say that just makes the game more interesting."
SCHLINK-SCHLINK!
Both villains jumped, a bit startled...and both grinned wickedly, as the VILE-Bots fell to the floor…
...Each had a batarang in their backs.
Dr. Sara Bellum gasped and stepped back as Batman finally stepped out of the shadows.
With the VILE-Bots destroyed, the orb around the Riddler fizzled out, and he yelped as he dropped to the floor...then sniggered as he used his cane to help get back on his feet.
"Well, it's about time," he taunted.
"Here's a riddle for all of you," Batman droned. "How are you all like a clock at midnight? Answer: because your hands are going straight up. Right. Now."
Sara Bellum gulped and nervously raised her hands...only to quickly lower them again at a gesture from Carmen Sandiego as she smiled challengingly at the Caped Crusader.
"You've had two chances to catch me already, Detective," she said. "Do you really think this third time will be the charm?"
"No. I KNOW it will be."
Promptly, the sound of police sirens echoed out, and the Riddler glanced over his shoulder. His smile fell again as he saw the flashing of police car lights drawing closer.
"The cops! That...that's cheating!" he yelled.
"You'll be surrounded in seconds," the Dark Knight growled. "The chase is finished, Carmen Sandiego."
"And what am I, chopped liver?!" snapped Riddler.
"The chase isn't over till I WANT it to be," Carmen said, calm and collected as ever. "And I'm having far too much fun to throw in the towel yet."
Batman immediately moved forward, cape flaring out as he lunged to grab hold of the elusive master thief...only for Carmen to suddenly lift one arm, as if in a punch…
FSSS!
A cloud of thick, black smoke burst from a hidden compartment in the Miss of Misdemeanors' sleeve, and as Batman swept out an arm to grab hold of her...he found himself clawing at thin air.
He heard the Riddler cough, and glanced towards him. Nygma used his hat and cane to fan away the air, then glared at his nemesis and pointed off in another direction.
"You're letting her go, you Dynamic Dimwit!" he thundered.
Batman turned, and sure enough, saw Carmen Sandiego and Dr. Sara Bellum racing towards another spot in the museum...right under a skylight.
He remembered the Natural History Museum, and immediately realized what was happening.
"STOP!" he roared, and darted forward.
"You're slipping, gumshoe!" Carmen called back. "This was almost too easy! Come on, Sara!"
The Dark Knight reached into his utility belt and hurled a Batrope - a long line with a batarang at the end. Just as Carmen and her mad cohort stopped beneath the skylight, the rope curled around the Lady in Red's right leg.
THOOM! In an instant, a pair of jetpacks sprang out of the coats of both women, and they took off into the air. The Dark Knight gritted his teeth as gravity left him, and he was carried upwards, his ripe tied around Carmen's ankle.
Carmen frowned.
"Nice try, Detective!" she called down. "But this is one ride you're not taking!"
So saying, the Lady in Red twisted around...moving up towards a display of a large jetplane…
THANG!
"Agh!" the Caped Crusader exclaimed as he slammed sternum first into one of the wings, and the Batrope uncoiled.
With a sound of splintering glass, Sara Bellum crashed through the skylight, and Carmen quickly flew after her.
Right at that moment, outside the museum, Commissioner Gordon and Detective Harvey Bullock stepped out of one of two squad cars...and spotted Carmen Sandiego hovering over their heads.
Bullock snarled and reached for his gun...only for Gordon to stall him in his tracks with a wave of one hand.
"Hold your fire!" he howled to his men.
"Tenacious, tough, AND considerate!" Carmen laughed. "You and your Dark Knight Detective are a triple-threat, Commissioner! A pity you don't have it all together yet! Ciao!"
With a tip of her hat and a wink of one eye, Carmen Sandiego flew off after Sara Bellum, the Enigma Machine in tow.
Gordon sighed irritably, then turned to his detectives.
"Harvey, call a chopper, see if they can find her in the air," he ordered, sounding doubtful of the fact, then turned to a dark-skinned Hispanic lady to his left. "Montoya? You and three others come with me. The rest wait out here; let no one out of the building besides us or the Batman!"
As the Commissioner and his assistants hurried into the building...inside the museum, Batman glided down to the museum floor with his cape, grinding his teeth in a frustrated snarl as he marched back over to where the Enigma Machine had been kept.
The Riddler still stood there; Edward Nygma sighed and fanned his face with his hat as he leaned against one wall.
"Phew!" he said, and let out a chuckle. "Heh heh...it's been a while since I've had quite that much excitement...what about you, Batman?"
The Dark Knight responded by reaching out and grabbing the quizzical crook by the collar of his coat.
"I've had enough of this!" he nearly shouted. "Catwoman, Joker...and now you, too! I'm done running in circles!"
The Riddler giggled shrilly.
"HEEHEEHOOHOO! Awww, but that's what you're BEST at, my monkey-brained friend!"
Batman slammed the Riddler back-first into a wall.
"You knew she'd be here," he hissed violently. "How? What is she up to?"
"You seem angrier than usual," Riddler chuckled back. "What's the matter, Caped Crusader? Does it frustrate you knowing I've got things figured out before you? Does it bother you that there are criminals superior to your worm-headed intellect?"
"She outwitted you, too, Nygma."
"I'll deal with her eventually," snorted Riddler. "But if even I'M going to need a second chance, what hope do YOU honestly have, my mentally deficient foe?"
"What. Is. She. Up. To?"
"Question: how am I like a canary with laryngitis?"
WHACK!
A punch across the face promptly crashed across the Riddler's face. The Prince of Puzzlers yiped like a kicked hound.
"TELL. ME."
Riddler sneered...and giggled softly.
"Heeheeheeheehoo...Answer: I won't sing," the Count of Conundrums hissed. "And those pathetic fists of yours can't do anything to change it! This is a riddle you'll just have to solve on your own!"
"Batman!" came Renee Montoya's voice. Momentarily distracted, the Dark Knight turned…
And yowled as the Riddler suddenly lifted the Rubik's Cube, placed against his chest...and sent a surge of electricity through him.
ZZZAP!
"ARGH!" he roared out, and released the Riddler, who giggled psychotically as he raced for the floor grates.
"STOP HIM!" ordered Commissioner Gordon, and Montoya and another officer chased after the green-suited ghoul...only to lose him as he hopped into the floor, and locked the grate behind him. Peals of mad laughter filled the space beneath the museum...then steadily faded into nothing, as the Riddler made his escape.
As Montoya and the officer struggled to try and open the grate to follow the fleeing fiend, the remaining two officers moved towards the still-unconscious Cleaners who lay on the floor. Gordon, meanwhile, approached the Dark Knight, who stood propped against the wall with one arm, his head held down.
"Are you all right?" he asked, carefully.
"No, Jim," Batman snarled back, violently. "I'm not. In three nights, I've allowed three of Gotham's Most Wanted to get away, and all without catching Carmen Sandiego. I've been bruised, shocked, gassed, and made a complete fool of, all while valuable items are being pinched right out from under my nose."
"You HAVE caught some of her henchmen…"
The Caped Crusader gave the Commissioner a cutting look. Gordon stepped back, scratched the back of his head, and shrugged one shoulder.
"Just...looking on the bright side."
"There won't BE a bright side," Batman said. "Not till I finally figure out the big question…"
And with a beastly snarl, he pounded his fist into the wall.
"...WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?!"