We met McGonagall for 'our little date' at 9. She was brusque—managing detention is a common element to her day, I imagine. Sirius was on familiar terms with her detentions, having experienced them commonly.
She had told us to meet in her classroom for today, and we arrived in the quirky, albeit neat room to find her and a ghostly professor waiting for us.
"Professor Binns?" Sirius said incredulously, gaping at the opaque man.
"Yes, Mr. Black. I have been thinking about all of the profound holes in your little troll story, and decided you need some of these filled in or Hogwarts will have failed you completely. Professor Binns has kindly agreed to give a short lesson on the troll wars, and, if you're lucky, he might tell you something about Hogwarts history. And I'm sure Mr. Lupin would not object to a good review." She surveyed the two of us sternly, her eyebrows pulled together tightly as if laced into a permanent frown. "Pay attention. I expect a short summary of your lesson tomorrow morning. Good evening." She said, and whisked herself away in a flurry of self-satisfaction.
I speculate she had a good laugh when she was out of earshot. Possibly a long, wicked laugh with her head thrown back.
"Couldn't we just keep polishing the tarnished practice silverware with a toothbrush?" Sirius muttered under his breath.
Professor Binns cleared his throat and took his place at the front of the room, as though he had a classroom full of students. I shrugged at Sirius. We moved to the very back seats of the classroom (the most valued in our History of Magic class) and took our seats with no protest from the droning ghost.
"The trolls are territorial," he said, his voice even, a steady line with no rising and falling emotion, "as are goblins. And some dwarves, too. But trolls are particularly territorial, sometimes—"
I lost him after that, his voice fading to white noise. I might have tried to listen, but Sirius was poking my side to get my attention.
"Hey," he whispered in a hissing voice that carried across the room, "let's finish the potion tonight. The searching potion. I have some suspicions about the stretch of wall near the Divinations classroom."
I imagined Sirius standing and staring suspiciously at a perfectly innocent wall, vowing to return with greater force.
"Do you suspect every wall you pass?"
"Every wall that doesn't have a door, yes." He paused for a moment, "and some that do."
I was actually grateful—the dragon spleen was starting to smell a bit, preserving enchantments and all. And the map—I flushed with pride to think of it. For once I had an equal part in one of their creations. It made me understand the triumph Sirius and James felt after a successful prank or shenanigan—the thought, preparation, and successful completion gave a sense of accomplishment an Outstanding on an exam couldn't quite compare to.
Except it wasn't completed.
"Let's do it tonight," I agreed. We sat in silence for a while, Binn's droning like a bee's thrum, if bee's cleared phantom throats on occasion. I was starting to drift into a lovely train of thought—a daydream about the sort of fantastic things we might find behind a concealed door-when Sirius hissed at me again.
"Moony," he said. I looked dully over at him. "I've been thinking about a new target."
"Oh? Snape's getting old, hmm?" That was a bit of a sore spot for me, but I didn't dare bring it up—it had become a staple of a good Marauder's diet.
"No. Well, not old, but… he does do the same thing every time. Says something he thinks is terribly witty and leaves with the impression that he's won."
Sometimes Snape had a point. Wicked and awful as he could be, sometimes I think his witty comebacks did win some of the exchanges. James, Sirius, and Peter never put much stock into them. But hearing Snape put voice to some of the concerns I secretly thought about… well, sometimes he was spot on. He would wryly mention James' ego, Sirius' immaturity, or Peter and my own absolute compliance. I didn't like toying with someone that could spot our flaws so openly.
Whenever I felt too sympathetic, though, I'd hear him insult someone's lineage and saw him as the same greasy-haired slime ball as the rest of the Marauders. Not enough to warrant our constant attention, though. So a new target was appealing to me.
"Who is it?"
A wicked grin split Sirius' face and I began to regret expressing interest.
"Lily Evans."
"No."
Sirius put on one of his pouts—not the flashy, big eyed, pitiful one he gave James, but his reflex pout. Part scowl, part incredulity, and part defiance.
"Sirius!"
"Why not? What good has she ever done us?"
"She helped you with Potions homework."
"Yeah. Once. Last year." He crossed his arms. I could tell he was disappointed in my reaction.
"What did James say about it?" I couldn't believe James was up for this. Whatever stupid things he inadvertently stammered at her, I couldn't imagine him actually planning to offend her.
Sirius scratched the side of his face, a habit he picked up when he read it would help facial hair grow. No luck thus far, except for an annoying habit when he was feeling sheepish.
"You haven't asked him."
"Well—no. I thought I'd run it by you first."
I hadn't expected that. I busied myself with a spirally pattern on the corner of my parchment and kept my eyes down. I didn't know what imploring look he was giving me, but just like his boxers in the morning, I didn't trust myself to risk a look.
"What were you planning to do exactly?" I finally said. No harm in asking. Besides, if he was running it by me first, I figured I'd give it my professional opinion.
I could feel Sirius' excitement next to me. I inadvertently glanced over to see his reckless grin; a wild, boyish element to his aristocratic face that was the key to his overwhelming success with the female population of Hogwarts. There was a little flutter in my stomach for having caused it. I quickly returned my gaze to the parchment, adding meticulously placed dots at regular increments.
"Something subtle. She's a clever one, whatever I keep telling James. I was thinking about doing something related to her temper, since it always seems to go off when we're around. Any ideas?" His open request for my opinion appealed to me enough to give it some thought.
"Mm. Do you remember Glorny's Firebreath spell?"
"He was the bloke that got all that money out of Muggles by making himself spit fire on street corners, right?"
"Mhmm. Until his wife set the house on fire trying to start the stove with it. But you might be able to downplay it to something safer. Something more like sparks."
"Hah! Brilliant, Moony! At the crescendo of one of her temper tantrums, she starts bloody sparking everywhere."
"Maybe even cast it to have a delayed effect, so it goes off when you want it and no one will see you point your wand."
"Right, a keyword. Do you think "arrogant prick" is appropriate? She uses that one often enough."
I snorted. There was something so wonderfully conspiratorial about this that I wanted to laugh out loud and pull out extra sheets of parchment and sit with Sirius in a corner somewhere just to plot. It was our plan, our secret. Sirius had asked for my advice, and I had become a partner in this mischief.
Professor Binns finished talking. There wasn't so much a conclusion as an abrupt silence. Then he left the classroom.
"S'pose that means we're done." Sirius said, stretching and arching his back to get out the kinks. He had terrible posture when in the classroom. With his cultured and handsome face, it was sort of like watching someone take a brand new Ferrari four-wheeling (though I'm sure he wouldn't understand the comparison).
"I hope I can remember enough about the Troll wars to get by on McGonagall's essay." I should have listened. I almost always listened, especially when there would be a paper, but Sirius had been a bit of a distraction.
Sirius held up a piece of parchment. It had jotted notes from Professor Binns' lecture that he must have copied intermittently while we spoke.
I crumpled my own doodled parchment self-consciously.
_
A/N: Little bit longer chapter here. I could have split it in twain, but were I Remus, I would be upset if my conversation got interrupted to make a chapter break. Also I have an illustration for the previous chapter on deviantart posted on my profile page.