A-N: Thank you all so much for your support! SQ fandom rules! Can't wait to find out what you think about this finale... Happy holidays!

Before in 'The gift of Hope'

Yes, she had been kissed before. Had been kissed out of duty, had even been kissed out of love. Then why did this kiss, which so obviously fitted in the first category, had made her feel so much? Had made her feel so… Loved?

Because she craved it? Because the thought of Emma Swan coming home to her every day, sweeping her of her feet in affection like that was something she would always scowl at, but secretly relish? Because the last couple of weeks (months, years?) she had built a life, a fantasy, a dream in her head that would never come true?

How could she be so stupid?

Her hands found the first thing in their reach and she hurled the bottle of wine away in a violent movement, only just missing the woman occupying her mind (and heart), when it shattered against the wall.

Chapter 5: The admission.

'Fuck, Regina!'

'Also in front of an audience, dear?'

The tone in her voice was the perfect mix between aloofness and sarcasm and she saw Emma cringe and turn around rapidly. But instead of leaving, which Regina had thought and, she tried to convince herself, hoped the woman simply flicked her wrist and locked the door with a rush of blue Magic, causing Regina's eyebrow to raise.

'I've been practicing…'

'So you have…'

And not just Magic…

'Regina…'

It sounded almost like a warning, exasperated, but at the same time it felt like a hopeful begging, making her heart feel like it wanted to burst out of her chest and make its way towards the savior.

She wanted to say the woman's name, wanted to reach out and check on her, wanted to find her way into those arms and allow her lips another kiss.

'I'm sorry…'

There it was.

She braced herself for the apology, the explanation that the other woman had got carried away and tried to conjure up a plausible response. For she might have been kissed, Emma could not have a doubt in her mind she had kissed back.

So how was she going to respond?

Don't worry about it, Miss Swan, I am quite used to being assaulted in the middle of my living room.

Or

I am aware of that but please do it again?

Her mouth chose for her, the treacherous words escaping her lips before she could stop them.

'For what, Miss Swan?'

The blonde blinked, obviously not having expected the question.

'For… erm… Kissing you like that?'

The woman seemed unsure about the correctness of her answer, which took away some of the sting that came with it. The icy feeling that constricted her throat, however, was not one Regina seemed able to swallow.

'Then why did you?'

Oh for the sake of the gods, was she enjoying to let her heart be trampled on?

'I…'

Suddenly knowing she would be unable to face the inevitable pain the answer would bring, Regina looked away, pressing her trembling hands behind her against the cool surface of the counter and urged herself to interrupt the stammering savior.

'Just to inform you, Miss Swan, it was without charge…'

'What?!'

Not sure whether the outcry was meant to sound outraged or confused, she felt compelled to answer, missing the sharp tone she had aimed for completely.

'The present… You didn't need to… do that. There was no…'

Suddenly Emma's light eyes spat fire.

'Price? Are you saying you think kissing you was about that? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Regina? Jezus, what do you take me for?'

'Are you saying your show of… For the lack of a better word, forgive me… 'Affection' was not out of gratitude, Miss Swa…?'

'Oh enough with the 'Miss Swan' already! I didn't kiss you because of the gift, ok? I mean, it's beautiful… Hell, amazing actually. I have no words for it. It's everything I ever could…'

The blonde caught herself and shook her head, the slight movement catching Regina's attention in an odd way.

'should wish for, but that was not the reason…'

'Well then, by all means, Emma, enlighten me. Because I am confused as to why 'The Savior' would kiss 'The Evil Queen' like that.'

And then apologize for it…

Although she didn't speak the last words, they resonated through her nonetheless, filling her heart with an ache that was nearly impossible to stand.

'Because… Oh fuck, you are totally going to throw those other bottles at me too and.. Erm, they kinda look expensive…'

The blonde's voice quivered suspiciously and only now did Regina notice how much the woman was actually trembling. It made her want to step forward and envelope Emma in her arms, protect her against anything that could possibly do her harm. A sentiment she could not afford to give into.

'I… Regina, please. Maybe… The reason, maybe it could not be important? I thought I saw something, thought I realized something, but right now I see it was just all in my head. I'm sorry, I know I messed up, I just don't want you to feel…'

'What? Confused? Humiliated? Vulnerable? Too late, Savior! You wanted to explain, so now, explain. Why? Why did you kiss me?'

She could still feel the lips capturing her own, the bittersweet feeling overwhelming her and making the words come out hoarse. The urgency behind them however was clear, she saw, when her eyes met Emma's. The earlier plea in them had made way for the impulsive anger she had seen so many times and found, secretly, so enticing.

'Because I wanted to!'

There had not been many times Regina could remember being stunned, but right now, looking at the personified raw emotion that was Emma Swan, she realized this woman had had the ability to do so since she had first set foot on her garden path. She blinked at the blonde's words, unable to grasp their meaning.

'Because I've wanted to since… since… Hell, Regina! Since like forever! Have you looked at yourself lately? Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? The effect you have on people?'

Actually, she had stopped looking long ago, her appearance only a means to an end, something she had used to unbalance her enemy. She knew people found her beautiful and had learned to use that to her advantage, but it was not something she cared about, despite what many thought. Now, however, when she heard the blonde's so ineloquently put, spat out, compliments, she felt how her cheeks warmed with an unexpected, not entirely unpleasant, blush. Emma found her beautiful, had looked at her. Had wanted to kiss her. Had, if nothing else, noticed her.

'You wanted to kiss me?'

Emma now looked straight at her, her rage deflating as her shoulders slumped and she flashed that same insecure smile she had featured the first time they had met.

'Yes.'

Why, gods, couldn't that just be enough? Why did her heart claw and struggle, yearning for more?

'Then, why tell Miss Lucas spending time with me was…'

But she caught herself, the vulnerability that spoke though her words making her cringe inwardly. Because wanting to kiss someone and wanting to spend time with them were two separate things and the question she had meant to ask would only force the blonde to point out just that fact. And she wasn't sure how much more heartache she could possibly stand. It was just that sliver of hope, the brightness of it etched in her very soul, she couldn't ignore. It pushed itself through, wanting to grow or be shattered and all she could do was try to suppress it. She didn't understand though, why the savior had been so inconsequential, kissing her in front of everyone while she had spoken those harsh words in defense of her own behavior at the diner to her best friend, a person she should trust beyond all others.

The question must have been visible in her features, because before she could stop the blonde, she had already answered.

'Because Rubes knows, Regina. She… knows.'

'Knows what?'

It felt like pulling teeth, she constantly sensed that she was missing something, a crucial part of the puzzle to make sense of the whole picture. Or maybe it was just that her mind was slow in catching up, still dazzled by, not only the kiss (as if that wouldn't have been sufficient) but also by the whirlwind of emotions, contradictions, that always captured her when in the presence of Emma Swan. That, together with the tension that was so thick it was almost palpable, made her feel like it was impossible for her to breathe.

Emma sighed, obviously as frustrated as Regina that she did not just (she could hear the woman's voice ringing through her mind) 'get it already!'.

'How I feel about you!'

Wait… What?

Would wanting to kiss someone constitute as a feeling?

She let go of the counter behind her, wrapping her arms tightly around her as she shivered. She wanted to believe, so badly, that Emma was talking about more than simple desire for her beauty. But the realization that the hope she harbored was so much more likely to be crushed than fulfilled, left her with nothing but the cold and lonely feeling she had become so accustomed to.

'Oh for fuck sake, Regina! She was bothering me. She knows, I think already since before… Since when she was my deputy? Or maybe even before that. She's very observant, you know. She says it's a wolf thing, but I'm pretty sure it's a Ruby thing, or maybe a gossip thing. Anywho, she knows and she has been trying to needle me into action ever since. The thing you overheard? Her, pushing buttons, knowing how I respond to people calling you 'Evil'… So… Yeah…'

If she had been stunned before, she was baffled now. Her hand found the counter once more as she felt strength and balance were not things she would easily gain at this moment. Had the savior just done the impossible? Had she actually just given an explanation for the words that had hurt so much, the words Regina had thought could only be interpreted in one way? Yet this explanation left her dizzy with the questions it evoked.

'Yeah, for a woman who can hardly say a full sentence without a big ol' dose of sarcasm you sure missed mine there when I answered, didn't you? When I said it would be such a 'sacrifice' to be around you…'

'A price…'

She heard herself repeat the word that had tainted her history, broken her so many times and the cringe that went through her now was anything but inward.

'Yeah, a price… That's what I said. Listen, had I known… what that word meant to you… Shit, Regina, I was an ass either way, but I never meant to hurt you, I really didn't.'

Emma's voice caught, the emotion so clearly audible as the woman almost tripped over the sincere, yet crude apology. Regina's response came from deep within, the step she must have needed to take to approach the blonde not one she had consciously taken. But when she, instinctively, grabbed the Sheriff's forearm, squeezing reassuringly, she saw the pupils dilate in response, the color becoming incomprehensibly deeper, the soul behind it reaching out to hers.

'I know…'

And she did. She had known, on a rational level, before. That it had not been Emma's intention to hurt her. But now she saw that her own history, her own memories, had painted the words, making her blind for their true meaning, which she, still, had trouble grasping.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

The curious question skipped of the tip of her tongue like a young child could do with the sidewalk. She wanted to reach out and catch the culprit, pulling back before it was too late. But, when she saw Emma's face flinch in pain, she knew she already was. Her hand, only moment before warmed by the contact with Emma's arm, fell lifeless to her side.

'Hell, Regina, what did you want me to say?

"Hey, so, Henry's back again, he did his math homework, but you might want to check it. Oh, by the way, I'm dying to make out with you?"

Or should I have tried: "Here, Madame Mayor, the paperwork concerning Mrs. Johnsons lost cat. Oh, by the way, I can't stop thinking about you?"

Or would you have preferred: "Hey Regina, I need your help fixing my umpteenth Magical fuck-up. Oh, by the way, I am totally in love with you?" '

'I… What?!'

The sarcasm pulsing through Emma's words almost made her miss it, not only the professionally hidden but utter fear that lay in the turquoise, but also the meaning of the words. They started to resonate through her, seeping in and lingering to her veins finding their way to her heart making it quiver.

In LOVE with her?

'Listen… I knew, I know you don't feel that way… But I can't stop feeling the way I do and it's just that, when I saw that last picture… The one of the three of us? The way you looked at me, well, I thought it was me, but I figure now it must have been the kid, I just… Something… clicked… And then you wrote that you wanted to fill the rest of the album together and I just felt…'

She had felt it... Emma… Swan… The savior… The idiot… Had grasped the meaning of it, of the desire, the yearning, she had even tried to keep hidden for herself. Had seen her love on a simple photograph, had read it in the line expressing longing to form a family. And, the utterly ungraspable sentiment ringing through the words, the one she didn't dare to believe, of Emma wanting the same thing.

'Regina, I messed up, as you know and always tell me, I tend to do that. I… I took it the wrong way and instead of like, making a family, which we, in a weird way, already are, I made it into something more… Instead of asking you what you meant, I just sorta… Acted. I can't promise you much, I can't promise not to look at you, or care for you, or save you. Hell, I can't even promise you not to be an idiot. But I can promise not to do that anymore. I was way out of line kissing you like that without permission and I promise it will never happen again.'

Her heart, racing to keep up with the blonde who now seemed so much closer than a moment before, plummeted when the last words caught up with it. With her. She felt dazed, fear and desire fighting a war, her heart and soul the captives taken. But then the Savior turned to leave, Regina realized her fear for what would happen if she did not speak up, was starting to outweigh the one for what would happen if she did.

'If I recall correctly, Emma, I reciprocated.'

The blush Regina felt shooting up to her cheeks seemed to have the oddest effect on the blonde, or maybe it were the words she had spoken so rapidly she would not have been surprised if Emma would have asked her to repeat herself. But the woman just stared at her, her back half turned, turquoise finding her over a shoulder covered with golden curls. It was a captivating image and would equal one of a princess in a storybook, had Emma not looked positively astonished… It was slow, but certain, the way the enticing body wrapped in dark blue silk rotated back to her again. Eyes squinted before a small, defeated smile painted the lips she now knew to be so deliciously soft. Regina couldn't help glance at them as she bit her own, wanting to open up, wanting to reach out, but not at all certain as of how she could do so.

'You were being polite?'

Emma Swan and shy? That was not something she had seen before… Embarrassed at her own awkwardness, yes. Apologetic and kindly apprehensive, as well… But shy? Yet there was no other way to describe the endearing self-awareness etched in the woman's features. She felt her eyes being pulled to the pink bottom lip that was, in an action mirroring hers, grazed with teeth and fought to keep them up when her heart skipped a beat. She caught it too late, her own breathlessness overwhelming, the insecurity swirling in haunted eyes, now resulting into words.

'Listen, Regina… I, I see what you're doing there… And it's really amazing and so cu… Erm… probably one of the reasons I lo… like… care about you so much, you know. You don't want things to be awkward. Cool. I think they will be for a while but…'

'Emma Swan, what are you going on about?'

'You! Trying to make me feel better about kissing you!'

'Was it that much of a disappointment, dear?'

It had been meant as a playful remark, which backfired almost immediately as she wondered if, perhaps, there was more truth in her words than she had originally thought.

'What? I… No…'

The blonde looked down, the blush on her cheek now not of the endearing kind of before. Suddenly she saw it, the painful struggle and she couldn't help but step in, move closer, reach out. Yet as soon as her fingertips grazed the soft skin of Emma's jaw, in an attempt to make the blonde look up at her, the woman jerked back, immediately breaking the careful caress.

'Don't Regina… Please. Don't play with me… Don't play with this. I can take a lot but in the end I'm only human…'

Emma had turned around, the tightness of her shoulders painfully visible, even with the blonde curls hiding most of the muscles from view. She wanted to touch, to stroke away the locks and replace them with her lips, easing the tension, but for a moment she could just watch as the sheriff seemed to collect herself, hands pressed against the counter before, shivery, turning once more.

It was the slight nod, accompanied by a sad smile that did it, spurring her into action as her heart told her the meaning of it even before the long, gorgeous legs started to make her way towards the kitchen-door. Emma Swan was saying goodbye. And not the simple 'see ya' variant she usually wielded, but the one that included letting go of hidden dreams of one's heart. But this 'farewell', Regina knew, was based on assumptions, was based on the lies she had allowed her mask to tell, causing pain to the woman who had just so bravely opened up to her.

'I don't know how to love very well.'

The words slipped from her tongue and she scolded the high pitched catch in her voice, but Emma halted in her step, slowly turning around.

'What?'

'I… Gods, Emma, you've seen me with Henry. I hold on too tight or I push away too hard, I'm self-conscious and… terrified. I'm terrified to lose if I let go. I'm terrified to let go. But I'm terrified to hold on as well. To let myself love… The first time I did… Well, we all know how that turned out, and now? Now I am no longer that innocent girl. Oh yes, she was naïve and stupid, but she was good, Emma. So… pure and just… Maybe then I was worthy of love. But now? Now I am the Evil Queen. I am the villain and villains don't deserve happy endings.'

'No… You're not the Evil Queen. That's just a name. A bunch of letters forming a word. It has nothing to do with you. You are Regina. An infuriating, bad-ass Mayor with the sharpest tongue known to man, someone who calls me out on my bullshit, who cooks the best lasagna I've ever tasted and who protects and loves her son with everything inside of her. Yes, you have baggage, but Hell, don't we all? Do you think I went through the system and came out undamaged? Do you think I don't know what certain things do to a person? But still you managed to be a mother. Don't you see what a wonderful person Henry has become? Is becoming? Because of you? He loves you!'

Emma seemed to hesitate, self-conscious, but before Regina could even start to decipher the feelings the other woman's words were evoking, the blonde had continued.

' And, for what it's worth, I'm here, Regina: I love you. I have for a long time and I don't think I could stop even if you demanded it of me in that cute, amazing, scary, sexy low-voice thing you do. So, I know it's not much, but there's that…'

The three words resounded, hoarse, unpracticed and raw in their honesty, yet utterly perfect, through her heart. Love… Emma Swan loved her…

'And yet, Emma, one day you will wake up and realize it has all been a mistake, a stupid thing you did because you convinced yourself it was the best for you, for us. And then, when you'll see, you are condemned to a life with… Well… with me, you'll run…'

The fear rolled of her tongue, tumbling in its hasty exit, much like the tears, threatening to spill on her cheeks. The terrifying sensation, constricting her chest, was and would ever only be soothed by the gentle turquoise she could not avoid to look into anymore.

'Regina… All my li… Wait… What are you saying? That you would want me to stay?'

The incredulous tone would have been insulting had it not been so heartbreaking, and Regina's last resolve was lost.

'Oh of course I want you to stay, you idiot! How can I not when you have torn down every defense I ever thought I'd built around my heart? How can I not, when you look at me with those eyes, full of self mocking when you do or say something foolish, when you shrug and look at me and see… See me… See, not the Evil Queen, but Regina. Make me feel like I could be that person again, that might be worthy of your love? How can I not hope when you make me feel so much with just a touch, when you come back for me and save me, time and time again even when I don't deserve it. When you kiss me like that? Just tell me, how can I resist you Emma Swan? How can I not love you!?'

It seemed like with every word, a string had drawn the blonde closer and when she almost screamed the last sentence, she felt soft palms capturing her cheeks, covering the tears finally released. Thumbs gently wiped them away, following a line from her cheekbone to her jaw, before she was pulled into a protective embrace. Lips found the top of her head at the same time her ear found the sound of the source of the love surrounding her. The rhythmic beat, increasing in pace as she, instinctively and to her own surprise, pushed herself closer, her arms on their own accord sliding around the blonde's waist, was soothing and mesmerizing. Fingers, gently entwining with locks of her hair, were trembling, yet Regina felt a smile tug on the corners of her mouth.

'Stop grinning, dear.'

'How do you know… Oh right… Well, you're kinda close and you smell amazing… And erm… You love me… So… I mean, yeah, sorry, Regina. Grin permanent, right now…'

She relished the sensation for a moment longer, trying to fight the sliver of fear invading her heart.

'You're going to run, one day…'

Her voice broke as she whispered the words, instantly wanting to reel them back in, insecure in the pain, breaking through the comfort of the embrace. Emma's palm found her cheek again, pushing her back only enough to look into her eyes. For a moment she wanted to avert them, afraid to find doubt in the turquoise. But when two fingertips pressed an escaped strand of dark hair behind her ear before finding their way to her chin, pulling it up, forcing her eyes to meet the ones they never should have feared.

'You know, all my life, I have felt like I was running from something. I never found rest, always thought something was chasing me away. But now… And god 'Gina this is going to sound so corny, but now it feels like I was running towards something. I was running to find my family. To find my home.'

Emma's fingertips continued their lazy exploration of her face and breathe tickled her lips when the blonde whispered the words that entered and lit up her heart.

'I was running, Regina, to you!'

Reaching out, no longer able to control the yearning feeling in her own fingers, Regina grazed the silky softness of blonde locks before allowing them to trail down and meet velvet skin. Was this really happening? Or would she, any moment now, wake up?

'I know you might have a hard time believing. I have some experience with that. But I will prove it to you, if you let me. Every day of the life we can build together. I love you, Regina… Please, please let me.'

There are tears in turquoise eyes as well and as she caught one in her palm, for a moment Regina could have sworn she saw something glimmer in the pearly substance. It shone, as a falling star and gave her the courage she needed to step in and catch the next tear with her lips, a feather-light caress of the skin she had only just touched. Emma's scents, her shampoo, Regina imagined, her Magic and the one that was just her, merged together into the most intoxicating combination she had ever smelled and she inhaled deeply, allowing it to fill her, knowing she would never grow tired of it. The blonde turned, only slightly, the question still lingering in the turquoise, merged with a hope, so fragile and yet so strong, it took Regina's breath away. She did the only thing she could, it was as natural as coming up for air. She pulled Emma closer, searching the eyes for an indication she should stop and when she found none she, with all the love she felt inside of her, pressed her lips against her savior's.

The rush of Magic seemed stronger this time around, making her cling onto the woman before her, deepening the kiss. A soft question of the tip of her tongue was answered with the parting of lips, and she moaned as she cupped Emma's face in her hands, tugging her impossibly closer. Tender exploration exploded in raging passion as she felt her lower back meet the counter. But before she could even feel the cold marble against her, she was lifted, placed upon it quickly without breaking the kiss. Hardly taking the time to ponder the woman's physical strength, Regina let her hands slide over bare shoulders, grateful for the slit in her dress allowing her to spread her legs enough for the blonde to slide between them. Closer. A heat spread from place where skin met skin, mouth met mouth and she gasped into Emma when a hand found her back, trailing up while the other gently captured hers, fingers entwining in a Magical exchange of emotion. Fierce hunger and sweet tenderness followed each other in rapid succession, their lips meeting with the clear determination to make up for time lost. The patterns Emma's fingers drew on her back were soothing as well as enticing and she felt herself shiver in the other woman's arms, for the first time since she could remember not reprimanding herself for the show of weakness but simply enjoying the ripples of pleasure as they came. It could have been minutes or hours when they parted, only slightly, their foreheads lingering together as their rapid breathing and heartbeats found the rhythm of the other.

It was Emma who broke the silence, letting her finger's play with the ones they were entwined with, making Regina tremble with every soft graze of her skin.

'Wow… 'Gina… Just… Wow.'

'I still don't know how to love very well…'

'Hell, Regina, neither do I… But, maybe, we can figure it out together?'

When their lips met again, shortly, practiced, as if they would do it for the rest of their lives, it seemed like a sealing of the words, a promise bound by the Magic that filled the air around them.

It glittered before her, as she closed her eyes, sparkling like fairy-dust, as the tear in her palm had done, only moments before. The glimpse of the life she would have if she would give in to the yearning of her heart, no matter how terrified she was. And when she opened them once more, she saw the turquoise take her in, full of hope, full of love.

She spoke the word her heart was screaming, the word she could suddenly envision saying for a lifetime to the woman in front of her.

'Yes…'

She added the whisper when their lips had already met, the shiver of homecoming coursing through her violently.

'I love you, Emma Swan.'

She deepened the kiss, hungrily, longing for an answer in action rather than words as she let her hands slide into golden locks, pulling the woman closer, her teeth grazed the blonde's lower lip eliciting a moan.

She had gone from the price to be paid, to the prize to be won. Or, actually, Regina thought as she felt the savior's arms tighten around her, she was the one doing the winning.

Emma sighed it against her mouth, as if tasting the word for the first time, filling it with love, changing its meaning.

'Regina…'

A hue radiated from them, their Magic, purple and blue, merging, swirling, enveloping them in a mist so bright it almost blinded her. A smile plucked on the corners of her mouth as she realized she had, indeed, found the light after her darkest day. A light brought in by an impossible blonde with mesmerizing eyes who was the mother of her child. A woman who could get a rise out of her and make her feel alive in any possible way. A sheriff who had broken through every defense she'd ever built around her heart.

She only heard the clock-tower chime midnight because of Emma's words, tumbling towards her through the enchanting haze.

'Merry Christmas.'

And, when she leaned in and stroked Emma's lips with her own in answer to the tenderly spoken phrase, it was…

It really was.

THE END…

(Well, for the story… For them? Just the beginning, yet a happy one I hope! ;))

A-N: Of course, as Emma's last words, also 'Happy New Year' can be read :) I hope you all had/will have lovely celebrations, and all your wishes come true in 2014 (be careful what you wish for!).

Hope you enjoyed!