Dear readers thank you for the other reviews after the authors note, I really appreciate them. I have had some worries that this will not be a Caspian and Susan fanfic. Trust me, it is. But to make it the way I have it playing out in my head they have to be separated for most of the story. You will still have Susan and Caspian pairing through out the story, but it will not be in anything more than dreams for the first little bit. The end he will be given a choice and part of that choice will be for him to be with Susan…but for this to work out and read the way I want it I really can not give anymore information out than that. Otherwise the story will in short give itself away…thank you for your understanding
Roberta
Chapter Four
"What
the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose."
Henry Ward Beecher
He stood still in the black abyss, not able to move a muscle. He didn't know what to do or how to save himself. This in his mind was even more tortures than watching those he loved be burned to death in front of his eyes, because now he couldn't even attempt to save them. Then suddenly all around him a bright light burst blinding him for a moment and he could see those scenes of death that had tortured him for so long all around him. He tried to close his eyes, but it was as if invisible fingers were keeping them pried open. He tried to scream but, his voice would not come. He tried to thrash away from the ghostly figure that was holding him captive but could find his strength. Then just as quickly as the images came they disappeared and there was Susan lying in a bed, in a room he had never seen before. He tried to touch her, to feel her just to know she was alright and safe. He could move now, but the closest he could get to her was a hands length. It was hell, seeing her, watching her, having her mere inches away and not being able to take her in his arms.
"What are you doing to me? What kind of hell are you trying to put me through?" Caspian cried out, and to his surprise Susan didn't even stir.
"Hell, I thought you would appreciate this favor. You are seeing the woman you have loved for more than half your life. You should be thanking me, not cursing me." The voice sounded eerily familiar, and held a regal tone that Caspian knew well. The deep voice chuckled in a dark, menacing tone.
"What do you want with me? Why do you keep sending me these dreams?"
"Why? I thought that you would like to see what will happen to your future and the future of your loved ones if you side with Aslan. As for what I want with you…I want your assistance in destroying Aslan."
"What makes you think I would help you?"
"Just because of what I've shown you…it will come to pass and she will die." Caspian looked around him trying to find the owner of the voice. He tried to reach for his sword to fight off the man that was threatening Susan. The sword that was usually laid at his side at all times was missing. When he turned he saw a reflection in the vanity mirror that stood on the opposite side of the bed. It was of a lion. He had the look of Aslan, only with a darker color mane. He was a little leaner, but his eyes, the tawny brown that mirrored Aslan's held an evil tone that dared to be defied.
"Who are you?"
"You should know…Aslan has told you all about us? I am Babar, his brother, who he betrayed and had thrown away for two millennia."
"That is not how he tells it."
"Of course he would make it so he was the good one in the end. Wouldn't you?"
"Aslan never lies."
"And who told you that? Himself? I thought you were smarter than what he gave you credit for?"
"You say these things, but what makes you anymore believable?"
"I can give you what you want? Has he done that for you? Has he given you your precious Queen Susan back? No, he denies you and denies you…for what reason? He doesn't even give you the reason why you two can't live happily ever after together."
"I'm an old man now. She is still as I knew her when she left me."
"I can give you back your youth. Do you not think that if you joined me and did as I bid that I wouldn't put all things to right?" As Babar said those words the lion disappeared and the reflection that was now starring back at him was the twenty year old he used to be. The lines and winkles that were beginning to age him were gone, and the grey hairs that started to blend in with the black were no longer there. He looked down at his hands; the skin was tight and firm with the youth he used to be. He looked over to where Susan laid and his hand itched to touch her. He slowly reached out afraid to come to the barrier once more, but was relieved when it went through and his fingers touched her soft skin.
She stirred awake, and her eyes fluttered open looking into his. He smiled, when her lips moved into the same alighted smile. He gathered her into his arms and buried his head into her shoulder breathing in the scent of her.
"Your alive…you still look the same. I was so afraid you would be dead in your time. I've been having these horrible dreams…you were burning to death."
"I've been having the same dreams, but I am as alive as you are. I'm older, than this in Narnia, but still alive. I've missed you so much, my love. Every moment of everyday there has been a torture without you."
"Oh, Caspian, it's only been a week since I left, but it has felt like a hundred years. I tried to be strong for you and the others, but it's too much." She said sobbing into his arms.
"It will be alright, my darling…I will find a way for us to be together. It has been hell on me also. For twenty five years I have wanted to leave Narnia and come here to be with you."
"Are you married?" Susan suddenly asked…her head shooting up and looking him in the eyes. He looked to the side and then looked back to her.
"Yes, I was in a way forced. I had to produce an heir or the kingdom would be thrown into a bidding auction between the lords. Most of the corrupt lords are the richest. I couldn't let Narnia be taken and all the hard work we put into preserving the old ways shattered. The people and the creatures entrusted me to keep them safe."
"I understand…I hoped that when I left that you would find someone. Do you love her? Is she a good woman? How many children do you have? I'm asking so many questions that I have no right to have answers to."
"You have every right. She is a good woman…and she is a good queen. The people adore her. She is a good mother to our children and has always been a good and understanding wife. She knew the moment I married her that I loved you. We have two children…my son Rilian is sixteen, and my daughter Laria is fourteen. They are the lights of my life and they are becoming good adults."
"Do you love her?"
"I
care for her…I love her as a friend would love a friend, I couldn't
not care for her, because she is to good a person, but I am not in
love with her. That place in my heart is reserved for you
alone."
"You should love her; it isn't fair to not give her
what you can't have."
"We are together now! Who's to say we can't have more…"
"To ask for more would be making a deal with the devil...I know how it will happen in the end Caspian…I've seen it. Give whatever love you have for me to your wife."
"Susan…"
"Go Caspian, please."
"But Susan," and when she turned away from him he faded back into the blackness. Anger bubbled in him hot and sharp like lava flowing glass.
"You told me I could be with her." He yelled into the nothingness.
"And you were."
"That was nothing."
"It was more than you were ever given."
"And more than I shall ever have again, she doesn't want me!"
"She does, but she fears the lies that she has been shown."
"The lies you show her."
"No, the lies Aslan shows her. I show the truth, to you."
"I can't believe you; I can't believe you when all I have wanted was just ripped from my hands."
"Because right now, I am your only friend. Aslan will not give you what you want, I will. Think about it…" And with that said the voice was gone, and the blinding flash came back once more.
Caspian shot awake as he had so many nights of his life. Sweat trickled down his face the light of the sun was burning his eyes. He lifted his arm to shield his week sight, and crawled out of his bed. He looked to the other side of the bed where Ramada slept and saw that her side was unraveled and un-slept in. A quick burst of panic ran up his spine but then he remembered the argument he had had with her the night before. Moving to his dressing room, he began to get ready for the day.
Hope you enjoy…I am working on the next chapter and hopefully I will have it up soon...keep those reviews coming!!