Chapter Six: Too Many Bitter Tears
Jaune took a long time to respond to Blake's actions. Eventually he leaned into it, repeating a lot of what Blake had done first. It reminded Blake all too well of her first kiss with Adam, when she'd nervously tried to emulate his actions and let him lead her along. She'd been as unmoving as Jaune… though not quite as surprised. She'd wanted to kiss Adam, had known Adam wanted to kiss her… she knew it would happen, she just wasn't sure when it would happen.
Was this Jaune's first kiss? Or at least, his first real kiss?
That wasn't all that surprising… but then, Blake hadn't really intended to occupy such an important role in his life or his memory as she would now. She supposed it was preferable to the bitter taste she had now when recalling her first kiss.
So many troubling thoughts again, but she couldn't help them now. What had started as a raw impulse to quell her troublesome mind hadn't been strong enough to silence her own doubts as she'd expected the act to. Instead of the moment she meant to focus on, her thoughts were all on what would follow it.
This would change things between Blake and Jaune -and between their teams- if there was more to come. It would change things between Blake and Sun, if there was anything here for her to pursue.
Was this what she wanted?
Blake finally drew back. When her lips left his, Jaune was gasping for breath. When he managed to compose himself and meet her eye, Jaune fumbled through his words. "Blake, I… I had no idea you felt this way…"
But he'd invited her to this moment, hadn't he? Hadn't he pined away from afar? "W-what do you mean?"
"I mean-" Jaune couldn't quite complete his thought. "I mean…" He couldn't hold her gaze any longer. "Wow. I mean, I remember you guys telling me I was oblivious, but I never would've seen this coming. I thought you and Sun were a thing."
Him and everyone else. They weren't too far off the mark, but they all just seemed to assume…
But then, who was he talking about before? When he mentioned the docks, Blake immediately recalled his harebrained attempt to help her when she was in trouble. But then Pyrrha had been the one to reach them first, and sat with Jaune after the cops fished him out of the water.
And out of all their friends –save possibly Ren- Blake had always been the most reserved and quiet. But there was quite a difference between being quiet and being shy, which Blake really wasn't… if anything, that better described Pyrrha; friendly as she was, she was also quite austere and not very good at getting to know people. And come to think of it, Blake didn't know much of anything about Pyrrha, save that she was a very skilled fighter and multiple time regional champion from Mistral, a kingdom almost as bad as Atlas when it came to corruption and willful oversight. And while Blake wasn't always privy to JNPR's conversations (unless Nora was talking), she did recall a lot of long and noticeable pauses from Pyrrha in… pretty much every conversation she could recall.
"Jaune… the person you were talking about before…" Blake tried to keep her tone even, so as not to jump ahead too far. "The… the one that wasn't Weiss, did you mean…?"
She never thought she'd hope he meant her. She never thought she'd be hoping Jaune's eye had turned to her. Now she was.
Jaune gave a noticeably fake cough in response. Even without her Faunus hearing Blake could've detected how artificial the noise was. And he still couldn't manage to meet her eye.
So many unpleasant thoughts now. Far too many.
And too many reminders.
"I'm such an idiot," Blake murmured to herself, her own eyes darting to look at the ground.
"Blake…" Jaune began, but couldn't compose anything more than that; not even an empty platitude.
Blake's instinct was to run from this. To retreat back to her dorm and hide in her bunk and pretend none of this had ever happened.
But then she thought on what Yang had said to her: slow down. She'd rushed ahead and let emotion dictate her response already, and now she'd made things quite awkward for both of them. And Jaune was already having a lousy night, and then Blake compounded it.
"Jaune," Blake finally managed to say, "this… we don't have to make anything out of this, okay? We were just… both in kind of a weird place and emotional and hurt and we just-"
Needed each other.
Obviously she couldn't say that. "-we just did something we didn't mean to, both of us."
It would be wrong to split the blame evenly; her friend had opened up to her and Blake had misread the signs and taken the bold step. It said a lot more about Blake than it did about Jaune.
But then again, he did –however awkwardly- kiss her back, so maybe…
Neither of them had planned on it, but Jaune had never been here before. He could've simply reacted to her. He may never have taken this step otherwise. He may have just been too kind to push her away, because Blake had given herself over to the moment.
"Let's just… forget about this," Blake suggested. "There's no reason for things to get weird."
But they would be, no matter what Blake tried. There was no way Jaune could forget this, now that Blake had been his first kiss. There was no way Blake could forget this, now that she realized she had wanted to kiss Jaune.
"Yeah," Jaune managed. "Sure."
She hoped he'd have fought it a little harder, but Blake couldn't blame him for going along. That was what she told him she'd wanted, after all.
It was easier to believe that lie than admit what she'd really felt in that moment. And it sounded like Jaune had problems enough.
Blake reached up to place a hand on his shoulder, to try and show him some gesture of affection and understanding, but didn't quite reach him, her hand awkwardly pointed in the air with her fingers a few centimeters from his hoodie.
Maybe… if she asked him more about… no, she didn't want to hear about Weiss or Pyrrha. She should just tell Jaune what she felt, as best she understood it. That at least tonight she'd felt like he-
Not just tonight. At the docks, after she saw him wet and cold and still trying to verify Blake herself was okay… and then after the food fight, when he'd been generous in lending her aid and kind to students he may not have known at all… and then when he'd called to check up on her after her fight against Torchwick…
If she just told him that maybe there could be something to it all…
Blake lowered her hand before her fingers brushed his shoulder. "We should get inside. Maybe head back."
Jaune meekly nodded and walked back towards the tower. Blake moved to follow, briefly kicking the ground and cursing herself her lack of action.
She returned to the unhelpful thoughts that had been hanging over her before she met Jaune here. She had responsibilities to address, niceties to observe, and appearances to make. Her friends –Sun and Yang in particular- were counting on her to act.
Jaune… well, she wasn't used to relying on others to keep secrets on her behalf, but she didn't think he'd mention this unexpected confluence of events if there were still a chance of finding the girl he really liked.
That wasn't a pleasant thought, but it made things easier to bear all the same.
Pyrrha wasn't sure what she expected to see when Jaune returned to the dorm room. He tended to put on a brave face even when bitterly disappointed, but hopefully if things had gone well and Weiss had finally realized how fortunate she was, she expected his smile would light up the night. It would be a bittersweet moment for Pyrrha, but at least she'd have that sight to warm her.
When Jaune finally made his way in he was very somber and uncharacteristically quiet, and she knew what the result had been. Nora quietly covered her ears with her headphones and Ren became very interested in his textbook, despite the fact no classes were scheduled until they returned from their first mission after the dance. Jaune didn't seem to notice either of their actions, just sitting down on his bed and staring out the window.
Pyrrha pulled out her Scroll and pretended to look up some piece of information, all while discreetly observing Jaune as he moped. Nora was quick to notice this and took hold of Ren's arm, leading him outside. Jaune was so deep in thought he didn't even realize they'd left.
It was kind of her to give Jaune the space… and Pyrrha the opportunity. But what was she to say? Were there really words that could fix a broken heart? More than that, was there any advice Pyrrha could offer him that would be more helpful than what she'd already suggested? Jaune at his most genuine was also Jaune at his most likeable and kind and Pyrrha was stunned Weiss hadn't been taken in by that. She understood why Weiss might not appreciate Jaune's instances of bravado and showboating, but how could she not swoon from such sincerity?
She could ask him. She could ask if he wanted to go with her; as a friend, as a partner, as a teammate, as… as anything if it meant they'd go together. He didn't have to return her feelings to take her hand on the dance floor; he didn't even need to dance. Pyrrha just didn't want to be alone there nor see Jaune as alone as he was now.
Pyrrha finally put her Scroll away after a few minutes of moving her finger along the screen and never actually opening any new pages and stood up, willing herself towards Jaune. She moved to sit beside him, Jaune still moping as he looked out the window at the clouds smothering the moon. "Do you… want to talk about it?"
She really did prefer listening to him than talking to him herself. It always set her mind at ease to hear his voice; to hear one of the only people in the world who was completely honest with her.
"I just… I feel so dumb for never realizing what was going on," Jaune admitted. "I thought I had a pretty good handle on what everyone wanted. Turns out I don't have a clue."
But honesty had its downside, too. Everyone had the right to feel down at times, but it really didn't suit Jaune at all. Pyrrha pressed ahead: "Did you tell Weiss what you wanted to tell her?"
"No, I never got the chance," Jaune answered. "She's going with Neptune. I heard her go to ask him and… I didn't stick around very long. I didn't want to interrupt them."
That must've hurt for him to see. Just as it hurt Pyrrha to watch Jaune chase Weiss over and over again. He knew her pain now, so maybe he'd better understand what it was to love from afar and love in silence. Maybe he'd be more receptive to Pyrrha's attention now. He was the one hurting right now, so it fell to Pyrrha to be strong enough to ask him. All she needed was to ask him one single question, albeit phrased just right.
She opened her mouth to speak, fixing her eyes on him as Jaune looked out the window.
Pyrrha closed her mouth and averted her eyes. She didn't deserve to enjoy the sight if she was going to be so cowardly. But what if he refused her? What if in taking that step she drove a wedge between them? Friendship didn't recover from such bold actions… and if she overstepped, she could make things not only very awkward between Jaune and herself for the next four years, but also lose something she already had and cherished very much.
But she hated to see him so sad. She wanted to reach out to him, to remind him he wasn't alone, no matter how alone he felt right now.
She couldn't even raise her hand. She just sat there beside him on his bed, staring at the floor and hoping he might confide more in her before night's end.
Blake rushed back to the dorm after her unexpected bout of misadventure. She immediately climbed up into her bunk and hid away in there. Ruby, Weiss, and Yang all eventually returned throughout the night, and Yang kept the other two at bay before they asked Blake any questions. Yang seemed content that Blake was resting, but her view from the bottom meant Yang couldn't make out that Blake was still quite restless, tossing and turning as quietly as she could as her mind raced.
She didn't think Jaune would tell anyone, but the locked door of the JNPR dorm was always cagey about providing any information about the goings-on across the hall. And though Blake suspected Nora was capable of tempering her enormous energy, Blake also thought she'd have quite an outburst if she'd heard about a possible romance brewing between the two sister teams.
Romance… what a strange way to describe it. Blake knew what that felt like, but her only experience in that area had ended badly. And what she'd read in her novels usually had the girl and the guy at least get on the same page after the kiss, if not well before it.
Maybe Blake thought she was better at reading the signs than she actually turned out to be. Maybe she was every bit as hopeless as Jaune, and had someone older and wiser (or so she thought) to lead her along before. And given her track record, maybe she'd never been good at this at all.
Yet still she wished to try. Still she reached out, and hoped her hand would find a better man than Adam. And it had, and he hadn't known how to respond.
Did it have to be Jaune? Did she want Jaune?
Something in her did. Something in her took a step she hadn't been willing to take with anyone else since she left Adam. And it wasn't something in her she could control or even aptly describe. It was an instinct or an emotion, and thus not something she could completely predict or temper.
Jaune's attention was not on her. That should've put a stop to this, because there was no longer any logical reason to pursue. But try as she might, she couldn't seem to let go of the thought. Awkward as things had been after the fact, the moment of their kiss stood out to her as a bright light on a cold and dark evening.
She cared. She was invested now, much as she didn't want to be. Words that had never been meant for her had pulled back the veil and pierced her heart, and in the moment she'd taken hold of him she'd experienced something emerge from within her soul that drew her to him and bound them together, if even only in memory.
She didn't want to pine away for something she'd never have. It was a useless feeling to have, just like whatever it was that still connected her to Adam; that made her think of the good times, no matter how distant they were now. It was a stupid emotion, and one that had caused her enough trouble. She'd already had far too many sleepless nights worrying about someone who didn't merit it, and already shed far too many bitter tears.
Blake found a comfortable groove and tried to sleep. She must've succeeded at some point, because when next she turned she saw the faintest hints of sunlight out the window, and the clouds clearing away from the prior night. Either that or her mind was so troubled she'd completely lost track of time.
Blake crawled out of bed as quietly as she could and went to put some water on her face. She looked into the mirror for a long time, deep in thought. She still had the faintest sign of bags under her eyes, but more than that the fresh stain of teardrops. Had her sorrow reached her in her sleep? Or had she cried without knowing it had happened?
She lowered her head and closed her eyes. There was no reason to let this all hang over her, and she would never again let her life be dictated by how she'd felt about someone. For far too long she'd given herself over to her emotions, and it had blinded her to seeing some genuinely terrible things, all because she was so deeply in love.
Whatever she felt for Jaune was just a single emotion. A powerful emotion, certainly, but one among many… and among the alternatives was a deep sense of the need to fulfill her obligation to Yang. Jaune was not the only one whose kindness she meant to return.
It was very early and it'd probably be wiser for her to wait but Blake had decided her course now. She pulled out her Scroll and ran her finger through her list of contacts and sent out a feeler.
Sun… are you going to the dance tonight?
Jaune insisted on going to the dance in spite of everything. He'd hold his head up high and find time to be with his friends, even if he couldn't make things work with Weiss. Nora and Ren seemed excited to go, and Pyrrha had assured him she'd be attending, and he'd be interested in meeting whoever she brought with her. Yang probably would tease him incessantly if he hadn't gone, and he figured he should support Yang and Weiss's efforts to make the dance a success now that they'd taken over the organization.
So he strode along, following after Ren and Nora with some strange mixture of confidence and meek acceptance, using his friends to conceal himself, if only slightly. He then made a beeline for the punchbowl, looking for someone to socialize with that wasn't Weiss. Or Blake.
Fortunately, some things never changed, and he found Ruby standing on the sidelines, uncomfortable in her pretty dress and heels, standing very still so she wouldn't topple over. Jaune fixed himself a cup of mysterious pink liquid and noted: "I see you're hiding at the punchbowl too."
"Yep," Ruby replied, accentuating the 'p' with an audible pop.
Jaune knew the feeling. At least he wasn't suffering alone. "To the socially awkward," he suggested, raising a glass and inviting her to toast. Ruby giggled and accepted, clinking the cups together.
"Sorry things didn't work out with Weiss," Ruby gently offered.
"Meh, it's fine," Jaune answered, trying to put a brave face on it. "Neptune's pretty cool. I get why she went with him."
"What do you mean?"
Jaune was halfway through the process of explaining how fortunate Neptune was to pull off the blue hair look –while he was amusing Blake and Sun with an anecdote, no less- when Ruby explained that Neptune hadn't accompanied Weiss to the dance, and in fact Weiss insisted she had too much else to focus on to worry about boys. But Jaune had heard her ask him, which could only mean…
"Hold my punch," Jaune growled, taking a step to pursue this man foolish enough to miss his golden opportunity. Ruby graciously took it off his hands and left him to unleash the scolding Neptune merited, only for his eyes to catch sight of a lovely red dress and an equally red mane of hair and a familiar tiara…
Why was she alone?
Jaune had meant to make his feelings known to Neptune, but suddenly he had a much more important priority to attend to. His partner was unescorted? What jerk of a date would leave her side? Who would make her doubt, if even for a moment?
Jaune followed her when Pyrrha stepped out from the dance hall onto the balcony. "Hey, Pyrrha."
"Hello, Jaune," she greeted, turning around to face him.
"You okay?" Jaune carefully inquired. "I haven't seen you tonight."
Pyrrha turned away again, facing the balcony. "Arrived late, I'm afraid."
"Well, you… look really nice," Jaune complimented her.
Pyrrha raised her hand to her mouth. Jaune wondered if she was yawning. "Thank you."
"Your, uh, date isn't going to beat me up for saying that, is he?" Jaune wondered, shuffling his feet about.
"I think you're safe for tonight," Pyrrha assured him.
Jaune couldn't help but ask the next question. "So, where is the guy?"
Pyrrha finally turned to face him, but couldn't quite meet his eye. "There is no guy."
"What?" Jaune was genuinely astonished.
"Nobody asked me," Pyrrha explained.
"But that's… you're Pyrrha Nikos! How could nobody ask you?" Jaune was beside himself now.
Pyrrha turned towards the balcony again, still not meeting his eye. "I've been blessed with incredible talents and opportunities. I'm constantly surrounded by love and praise… but when you're placed on a pedestal like that for so long you become separated from the people who put you there in the first place." She turned towards him again, willing herself to meet his gaze. "Everyone assumes I'm too good for them; that I'm on a level that they simply can't attain. It's become impossible to form any sort of meaningful relationship with people.
"That's what I like about you," Pyrrha explained. "When we met, you didn't even know my name. You treated me just like anyone else… and thanks to you, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime."
Pyrrha knew what she wanted to say, but she adjusted it just a little bit. "I guess… you're the kind of guy I wish I was here with; someone who just saw me for me."
Jaune was too busy staring in astonishment to form any coherent response. Pyrrha strode away, and she was already turning a corner around the exterior of the building before Jaune managed to say: "W-wait!"
Before he could move to follow, however, Jaune heard: "Hey, uh, Jaune, right?"
Neptune.
Jaune focused himself. Neptune had been his original objective, but Pyrrha was far more important now. And he'd need time to set in motion what he was now obligated to do.
But Weiss had been hurt too, and Jaune could do something to mitigate that. It just meant he'd spare Neptune some of his intended wrath, because now there was something more important on his mind than simple revenge. Jaune would focus on Weiss, and what she needed from Neptune, and save the other criticisms he might've had for another day.
First Weiss, then Pyrrha. He had a promise to keep.
Blake had been in the midst of a slower dance with Sun. He was a bit clumsy on his feet, but he'd been able to keep pace with her. It had made for an enjoyable evening, and Sun was good company, at least so far. He hadn't been too bold nor too timid, striking just the right balance for Blake at the moment.
Her extra set of ears picked up on something rising in the crowd. A sound of… laughter? Had someone said something so funny it had spread through this massive crowd of people?
She glanced over Sun's shoulder and watched the crowd ripple, a familiar blonde head marching determinedly through the throng of partygoers… and some noticeable bare legs passing by skirts and pressed slacks.
Was Jaune wearing…?
Pyrrha turned, every bit as surprised as Blake. "Jaune?"
He was. Jaune was wearing a dress. Blake had to admit he had the legs for it.
"A promise is a promise," Jaune declared with a sheepish grin.
Pyrrha tried her best –oh, how she tried- but she couldn't fend it off and laughed heartily. "Jaune, you didn't have to!"
"Hey, an Arc never goes back on his word," Jaune assured her, before reaching out and offering her his hand. "Now do you wanna stand there and laugh at me… or do you wanna dance?"
That was a no-brainer. Pyrrha was only too happy to take his hand. "I would love to dance." Jaune pulled her in, literally sweeping her off her feet. "Oh!"
Blake looked on as Ren and Nora moved to follow suit, joining their teammates in an impressive dance number. She couldn't help but watch them, stunned, in awe…
And Jaune… once again, the kindness he'd shown, the lengths he was willing to go to for his friend… she felt something well in her chest then. Something that she'd felt before, a long time ago in the quiet wilderness of Vale when observing someone else…
She shook her head. Now was not the time for that thought. It was disrespectful to the person she was actually there with, and to the woman Jaune had made this effort for.
"So those two are an item, huh?" Sun inquired. "Never would've guessed…"
Blake forgave him that, since he hadn't been around to see that bond form. "They're partners, Sun." Then Blake opted to have a little fun, giving him a coy sort of look. "Like Yang and me."
Blake thought that might throw even someone as confident as him for a loop, but Sun remained focused on Jaune. "Nah, it's just… I remember when we were all in Vale chasing after Torchwick, me and Neptune ran into him at the ramen stand. Looked like he'd met a ladyfriend, you know?"
A ridiculous notion. But then again…
Weiss had been with Blake during the battle with Torchwick, and Pyrrha had been at Beacon when Team RWBY returned, all her teammates still in the city. Who would Jaune have met, if not Pyrrha or Weiss?
Blake led him onto the dance floor, following suit with Team JNPR and what others felt inspired to join them. "Tell me more," she requested, trying her best to go along with the conversation.
"Lipstick smudged on his cheek," Sun explained, pointing at his own face with his index finger. "I didn't think the boy had it in him."
Blake glanced back at Jaune and Pyrrha, thoroughly enjoying themselves as Jaune demonstrated surprising skill. Her eyes narrowed as she wondered about what other girl might've been so inclined to kiss Jaune, and started to wonder about the timeline Jaune had laid out to her again…
Jaune and Pyrrha headed back to the dorm first, still brimming from the exhilaration. Nora and Ren had taken the long way back through the courtyard, and Nora had subtly informed Pyrrha that she'd be taking her time to run on the grass and burn off some of her energy before they turned in for the night. Pyrrha and Jaune would have some time in the dorm to themselves yet again, and this time…
Pyrrha didn't know if Nora was expecting anything to happen, but she'd left the window open to. She'd given Pyrrha the chance to take what she wanted without interruption. And still riding from the high of the dance and finally giving Jaune the biggest hint she could, Pyrrha's only thought was that her faith and patience had finally been rewarded.
She could cap off the evening perfectly. She could just look across at Jaune with the moon peering in their window, and show him how she felt rather than try to find the words. She'd already taken a bolder step than she'd ever meant to, and the rewards had been enormous. They could be grander still, if she were only brave enough.
Pyrrha glanced over at the bathroom, as Jaune changed out of the dress he'd worn –she'd have to inquire about where he got it, but another time- and was looking for his pajamas. She watched him bend his bare back and her mind raced with all the possibilities the night could bring her.
It wasn't the first time she'd stolen a peek and seen him change; such things were unavoidable in the close quarters they lived in. But it was the first time she asked herself whether she should interrupt him, and see if those dancing talents of his might still apply in… other venues.
But she managed to move away from the thought, albeit reluctantly. There was no need to rush, no need to risk tainting the evening. She had so much more than she ever expected already, and would be grateful for what she'd received. It'd still be the best night of her life.
And now there could be others, if she was willing to be bold… and bold at the right time.
After Jaune emerged and settled in, Pyrrha followed suit and changed into something more comfortable. Before she'd let sleep take her, Pyrrha moved to sit at the foot of Jaune's bed. He looked up at her, returning the smile Pyrrha had worn most of the evening.
"I had such a wonderful time," Pyrrha said, though she was sure he'd heard it a few times already. "Thank you, Jaune."
Jaune sat up in bed and reached up to take hold of her arm. "Anytime."
Now seemed an opportune time for a bold move. But just one.
Pyrrha reached her free hand over and intertwined her fingers with Jaune's. He squeezed her hand tight and let his fingers rest in the interlock. A small gesture of affection… but compounded with everything else Jaune had done for her tonight, it was the greatest gesture of all.
The best night of her life, indeed.