Rose

"See what I was saying?"

I rolled my eyes as we returned to the palace. Eddie and Tasha would not stop questioning what they just seen at the market.

"It was nothing" I said trying to laugh it off as we stopped in the great hall.

"Oh that was not nothing, that was more than something!" Tasha said giving me a look saying I was ridiculous.

"What is nothing?"

We all spun around as my fathers voice broke through the hall. I smiled seeing him trying to cover up our conversation.

"Papa" I grinned and walked forward giving him a hug. "We just came back from the market, Mr Goode gave me this new amazing bread you have to try"

He smiled seeing me so happy, "Leave it in the kitchen and we'll have it for lunch. Now what is this thing that's nothing?" He raised his brows at me.

I paused my lips not wanting to tell him, "I was thinking of asking Mason if he wanted to come over again tomorrow, I was thinking of what you said about Dimitri and you were right that I can't continue to like him. I'm sorry"

He gave me a sad smile, "Nothing to apologise for, I only want what's best for you. Having Mason over might distract you" his smile grew, "I'll arrange it this afternoon"

I smiled towards him as he walked up the stairs to his office. He even started whistling. I as happy to see him so relaxed but I felt guilty for lying to him. I bit my lip.

I turned around seeing both Tasha and Eddie giving me looks. I sighed, "I know I'm horrible" Running my hands through my hair, sighing, "I just don't know what to do"

"Let's go to your room" Tasha said as some maids were entering the hall, "Too many curious ears" She winked. "Coming Eddie?"

"I have to report that we're back, I will see you girls later. Be careful Rose, ok?" He said giving me a look. I smiled and nodded. I knew he cared and only worried I would get hurt. I just didn't know how to prevent that knowing the impact Dimitri had on me.

Closing the doors behind her I knew Tasha was eyeing me, waiting for an explanation of what happened at the market. I sat down by my dressing table and removed the scarf of my shoulders. "Just say what you want to say Tasha" I smiled knowing she was bursting to say her piece.

"I don't even know where to start. One second we were in the dress shop, you said to go to the pastry stand and suddenly we find you in this intimate moment with Dimitri?"

I buried my face in my hands, I knew this was so messed up.

"To get it out of the way, I was swooning just seeing him. Those broad shoulders and his height? Wow" She fanned herself with her hand. I snickered. "And that smile? Oh lord, I see why you're in deep"

I looked down at my hands, thinking of his lips on my hand made me tingle. Tashas silence made me look up.

"But he's engaged" she said with sad eyes.

"I know" I said sadly.

"Then why do you let him get close?" she asked coming closer.

I bit the inside of my cheek, "It will probably sound stupid but I can't control myself around him, the second I see his smile I melt, I'm putty in his hands and my brain is telling me to go but my heart just pushes me towards him. It's like I don't have control" I said looking at Tasha.

"When he kissed my hand, the way he looks at me" I stopped feeling my heart pound, "It's like he has this power over me, I loose my breath and my heart runs wild" I buried my face in my hands and rested my head on the table. "What am I doing?"

I heard Tasha sigh as she came over and moved her arms around me. "I've waited for you to feel this, to turn into a giddy little girl" I looked up and saw a small smile on her lips, "I could see the way you were looking at each other it was something there." Her smile turned sad, "I'm just worried you'll get hurt"

I looked away moving me hair behind my ear. So was I.

Mason came around the day after. Tasha's and my conversation had played in my head all night. I found it hard to hold onto what was right and what was wrong. I've always been very strict with how to treat people and that cheating is a choice, not a misstake.

Even though I'm in the middle of this with a man who I know has someone else I can't keep myself away. It's so easy to judge and to say "Stop" but how do you stop your feelings. How do you stop feeling something you've always wanted to feel. Stupid as it sounds I think having not met her I still believe she doesn't exist. Hoping she will disappear.

"Rose? Are you listening?"

I blinked several times before Mason's word registered. I smiled quickly, "Sorry Mason, my mind is occupied with the ball from the other night"

"Was it a good night?" He asked his face lit up with a wide smile. I couldn't hold back a smile when I was with Mason. He was such an amazing guy, he was sweet and incredibly caring. I wanted to push myself to feel more. If I could forget Dimitri and have what I always wanted with Mason it would've been so much easier. But life isn't easier is it?

"It was" I smiled, "I heard so many good stories and I think papa was very pleased with the evening"

"That's great Rose" We were walking through the gardens, the sun was shining and the air was cool "Did I hear that you and your father is going to Amsterdam next week?"

I nodded "We are, we are visiting some friends of papa, they are having a gathering for their daughter who turns eighteen, so it's her coming out for the season" I smiled. I had met Sydney a few times, she was a very sweet girl, mature for her ages.

"How exciting, I remember your ball" he smiled. I smiled back at him but didn't say anything. All I could think of how I wished Dimitri would've been there so I wouldn't be in this mess.

Mason didn't notice my silence. He continued talking about books he's read and places he'd recently visited. I smiled and nodded along. Laughing at times and tried to enjoy end forget the endless topic of Dimitri that kept invading my thought stream.

Mason was hunting with his father this evening, he asked if I wanted to come along but I kindly said no. I went to the library instead after I bid him goodbye. he caught me off guard as he kissed my cheek before he left. He had a cheeky smile on his lips before he disappeared.

Laying down on the couch I sighed and looked out the window. Rain had started to drip outside. You could feel the autumn slowly was upon on. I was one of the few who actually enjoyed rain. It was so peaceful, the sound of rain against the window and the amazing smell it brought as well.

I sat up and leaned against the back of the couch continuing to look out the window. My eyes followed the water slowly drizzle down the glass.

I looked up as I heard someone enter. My father cleared his throat as he came closer with a guarded smile on his lips. "May I?" he asked gesturing towards the seat next to me. I smiled, he never had to ask, he was always welcomed to join me. He was just too polite to just sit down.

"How was your afternoon with Mason?" He asked turning towards me. He had lost his posture that he always kept up in from of others. Since it was only us he actually leaned back and looked comfortable.

"It was good" I said playing with my nails, "He's a really nice man"

My father nodded as I spoke, "He is, I've always heard such nice things about him. I'm glad you asked him to come around again"

I smiled sadly and nodded. I know my reply should have been "Me too" but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"I'm sorry about how I acted after the military ball previous this week" The words coming from his mouth surprised me, he continued, "I could see you were very happy and I hated to see that bubble burst but I didn't want you to continue without knowing"

I placed my hand on his before he could say anything else, "You don't have to apologise" I looked out the window before I continued, "I-I know you only wanted to be honest with me and I'll always appreciate that. It's just hard to" I sighed, "To let him go" I admitted.

He took my hands in his and squeezed them gently, "I've waited so long for you to look at someone like that, to be honest I was sure you were drooling a little when you first saw him" he joked. I hit his shoulder playfully as he laughed. his smile slowly fell, "I'm just sad you had to feel like that for someone that's already taken"

I nodded along, agreeing. I felt the exact same way. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I met Dimitri at the market. To tell him he had me even deeper under his spell. How he called me beautiful and how he made my heart skip a beat.

I put on a brave face and squeezed my fathers hand, "I will find someone with time" I said giving him a small smile.

"Of course you will, nobody can resist your charm" He winked. I smiled. The door opened and Oscar entered with Angel in his heels.

She instantly trotted over and jumped up on the couch putting her head in my lap. My smile grew and I stroked her head.

"I just sent for some tea" Oscar smiled, "Is everything ready for the trip to Amsterdam?" he asked sitting down across from us.

"It is, we're traveling Wednesday and Thursday and then Sydneys ball is in the evening. I have already informed Tasha what type of clothes Rose will be needed, she did say she was going to run it by you before she packs it all"

"What guards are we bringing?" Oscar asked. He always came with us on our trips. It was very rare that he didn't. One of the maids came in with a little tea trolley and left it as Oscar started pouring tea and milk.

He passed me a cup as papa said, "Well Eddie is definitely going, I thought of bringing Mark and Andre, I think three should be enough since I know the Andrews have plenty of guards on their own"

Oscar nodded along, "Are you excited Rose?"

"I am" I smiled, "It'll be nice to get away for a bit, and no pity looks. I'm excited for Sydney and to see some old faces"

"It was nice of Emma and Robert to invite us" Ibrahim smiled as he sipped on his tea. "Have you decided what you're wearing Rose?" He turned to me.

I smiled, he tried to distract me, he wasn't very casual with it either.

"I don't know yet, but Louise in town showed Tasha and I some great new designs she's working on so I might have another run down tomorrow morning to see if I can find something.

"Try not to overrule Sydney though" Oscar winked.

I rolled my eyes, "Of course I won't" I said slightly offended, "Why would I?"

"Your beauty is hard to hide dear" Papa grinned, "You inherited it all from me of course"

"Of course" Oscar said with sarcasm dripping from his voice. I snickered at their banter.

"So how was you afternoon with Mason?" Oscar asked curiously. I finished my tea and I shrugged, "It was nice"

"Nice" he made a face, "Nice is not a very good word is it?" Oscar turned to Ibrahim who was smiling. He knew that Oscar always liked teasing me.

"You're not very nice" I told him with a cheeky grin on my face. He rolled his eyes, "We both know you love so don't even try saying such nonsense"

I snickered as I got up. "I think I'm going to see how the packing is coming along and run my dress ideas by Tasha"

"Ok love" I kissed them both on the cheek before I left. Upstairs Tasha was organised as always. I smiled at her as she was humming to herself as she was poking about.

"Enjoying yourself?"

She jumped slightly and turned with a smile on her face. "Yes I love cleaning up after you"

"I'm not that messy am I?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest. She laughed, "I'm almost done with packing, did you have any idea of what you'd like to wear for the Ball in Amsterdam?"

"I was thinking of that Nude coloured dress Louise showed us yesterday? Do you remember it?"

"The really simple one?" Tasha looked a bit thrown off my suggestion. I smiled and nodded.

"I thought I'd try something new, plus I think a diamond necklace or earrings would look amazing with it"

"I like the way you think, and maybe a smoky eye to roughen it up a little" She said excited. I laughed, once she had inspiration her imagination went flying.

"Sounds like a plan, we can pick up the dress tomorrow morning so we have time to alter it" I said starting to remove my dress. Tasha passed me my robe and I tied it up.

"You don't think he's going to be there?" Tasha asked suddenly as she was looking at me through the mirror.

I frowned slightly, "I haven't thought of that to be honest, but I doubt he'll come to an eighteen year old girls season party?"

"You're right" Tasha said shaking her head.

Now the seed was planted so Dimitri was now back in my thought stream. I sighed, how will this end?

Hmmm How WILL this end? Any thoughts?

xxx