Lady leaf

Chapter 6

It was no good. No matter how much I tossed and turned, or how many times I flipped the pillow over, I still could not sleep. My brain was buzzing with activity, thinking about the events of the day. The number of questions threatening to overwhelm my mind was ridiculous, but I refused to indulge them. Only by focusing on the day ahead and willing myself to catch forty winks would I keep my sanity.

The hospital bed did not offer any comfort. It creaked relentlessly no matter if I rolled over or coughed. The itchy sheets scratched against my skin, so I kicked them from me, feeling the coolness of the air reach my feet. The sheets twisted around my legs as, in annoyance, I tried to get comfortable. There was something about the material that made me sneeze wildly. In the end, frustrated with my runny nose, I had taken to stuffing several rounds of tissue up my nostrils. Only then did I receive some relief, despite looking like a miniature elephant with tusks.

I had no idea what time it was, but the staff dormitory was empty apart from myself. Defeated, I sat up in bed and took out my note pad. My eyes felt heavy around the lids, squinting against the hazy light of the lamp. As the beam shone on the page, I began to think about writing a diary entry. Perhaps if I wrote enough diary entries, I would become bored and fall asleep! At home, it would be easy to make a warm milky drink and sit outside watching the stars. There was something about a contented stomach and the chilly night air that made me feel sleepy.

Very rarely did I find it difficult to sleep. I loved to sleep and lie in bed, daydreaming of all the things that I never got to do, things like going to the cinema, shopping and travelling. At times like this, the power Mother held over my life was very clear and a familiar resentment would started to bubble in my gut. One day, I would have to pack a bag and go trekking to the next town, just to see what life is like there. I'd take Naoki with me and we could camp in the forest, perhaps just like I promised.

I re-read the haiku I had created early that day and gasped. Just below my final haiku there was some more writing. My finger traced along the lines and came away with glittering grains of sand on their tips.

There were three lines – another haiku;

Monster from my birth

blood lust within to survive

detested by all.

I read the words again, taking them in, and realised they must have been written by Gaara. When he had asked what a haiku was, I assumed it was to take his mind off the pain. My hands were frozen to the page. How anyone could believe that they were detested by every soul in the world made my heart sink. What people could possibly allow a sand spirit to be sealed inside a child's body?

There was a crash. In haste, I threw on my dressing gown and tied the belt. Cautiously, I kept my back to the wall and followed it down the corridor where the sound had come from. As I poked my head around the corner, my eyebrows rose with surprise. There were a number of buckets, mops and brushes strewn about the floor. Whoever had been here was now gone.

The next morning, Gaara was particularly grumpy and refused to speak at all. I left him some breakfast of toast and orange juice, but it was neglected. He did allow a change of bandage, although he was not nearly as patient or calm as last time. I winced as the sand came dangerously close to striking me. However, Gaara always regained his composure just in time.

"What is the matter?" I finally asked him outright.

Gaara frowned all the more. "Something was taken from me. I sense it in the hospital."

"Really, what was taken from you?"

"It is none of your concern," he warned.

"I know. Tell me anyway. I might be able to help," I smirked at him. The ninja looked confused, unsure of how to respond to such a reply. I wondered if anyone had offered him a helping hand before, or whether he struggled alone solving all his own problems. His eyes flickered restlessly, toying with the idea.

"The Sand village ninja infiltrated your village, prepared to kill every last man, woman and child. They wanted to destroy every trace of life in Konoha. They wanted to turn this place into a wasteland to serve as a warning to others. I was crucial to the mission by performing a transformation jutsu. My intent was to harm and cause bloodshed." His voice betrayed no emotion, only drawn out words stating them clearly as facts. He paused, searching for something within my face.

"Did you not hear what I said? I was prepared to slaughter thousands of lives without remorse. The clans of the Konohagakure were to be wiped out. Why do you show no anger towards me?"

"Well, you didn't go through with it, did you?" I replied briskly. "We lost many good people, but it was Orochimaru, one of our own, that caused the most loss of life. He was brought up here, one of the legendary Sannin. He was meant to be our protector, someone to look up to and admire. Now…he's like a curse.

"Maybe I should feel anger, but you never chose to become what you are. Orochimaru actively sought the power for destruction and death. He knew the names of many people in the village and lived side by side with them for so long. It's easy to attack strangers-- they're like shadows, they have no features—but it's quite another to kill friends and comrades, to recall their history, the spirit within them and the loyalty they have shown over the years to this place… to know all that and yet still attack is pure evil.

"Maybe you felt part of it all, the killing and murder, but the fact remains: you never killed a single Konoha citizen."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because you were fighting Naruto Uzumaki."

Gaara's breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened. It was obvious the mention of Naruto's name had stirred up some undesired response. His lips drew together and he clenched and unclenched his right fist.

"From the sounds of it, that fight was very intense, but you both came out alive.

Uzumaki said that he wanted you to get well so he could fight you again. I don't think that means he detests you, Gaara." He looked up. "I thought the haiku was pretty good, actually, although I was a bit surprised to find it."

"In battle," he changed the subject rather abruptly. "I carry sand infused with the blood of my enemies and chakra inside a gourd. When I awoke in this room, the gourd had been taken and placed somewhere within the hospital."

"You've been looking for it, haven't you?" It hadn't meant to sound like a challenge, but the thought of Gaara wandering around the hospital at night worried me. "The mess that I found last night… it was you!"

"Is it custom for Konoha ninja to wear white tissue protruding from their noses at night?" He spoke with a cruel slur of a smile painted on his face. I blushed, slightly embarrassed at the thought of being seen in such a state.

"Why don't you draw what the gourd looks like?" I suggested, trying to avoid more awkward questions by distracting him with something else. With paper and pencil in hand, Gaara shrugged and began to sketch an image of the gourd. He had some talent, I noticed. His fingers held the pencil carefully and he built the gourd, at first using simple shapes and then layering more intricate details.

The gourd was the shape of a large calabash vegetable with a small cork stopping the contents from spilling out at the opening. It was cracked in places and tied around the centre was some material (crimson red, Gaara explained.) There were symbols painted on both sides that looked like inverted capital E's. Gaara finished with a small flourish of shadow using cross-hatching and then handed the paper back.

"So, there's sand inside the gourd? The only reason I can think of why it might have been removed is because it's a potential weapon. The hospital policy forbids patients and staff to carry weapons on their person. If that's the case, you might not be able to have it back until you leave the hospital. Still, I'll see what I can find." I ripped the page out carefully and left the pad and pencil on the bedside table, Gaara staring at them dumbly as I left the room.

My search for the gourd had so far come to a dead end. There was no record that Gaara had been admitted to the hospital with any possessions, nor that they had been taken away for security reasons. Matron Shun was less than helpful, as expected, and told me to stop chasing phantom objects. According to her, there had never been a gourd of that shape sitting around the hospital. She wasn't lying, either. I knew when Shun was stretching the truth, if the number of creative excuses for why I couldn't have a day off were anything to go by.

In lost and found, I had identified twenty-seven headbands (sweaty), threes pair of false teeth (dirty), one fake eyeball (green iris) and no calabash gourd. Shelves piled high with clothing, jewellery and books were intriguing to look at, but I forced myself to remain on task.

As I walked around the hospital with more than a fair share of funny looks, I checked the potted plants to make sure no one had used the gourd as a pot by mistake. The thought of sunny daffodils poking out the top of the gourd made me smile. Alas, all the plants and flowers were in proper order, with appropriate containers.

I decided to try and hunt for the gourd in the hospital gardens. It would be pleasant to have a wander amongst the beautiful flora and fauna for a while. The gardens were kept in top condition by the elderly hospital gardener – Mr Teien. He loved the evergreen plants that gave the garden permanence of life. In a clashing collage, he had chosen irises, tree peonies and maples to inject colour within the bed of green. The irises flowered proudly with a spectrum of magenta, han purple, lighter violets and pink tones of orchid. I admired the openness and delicate shapes of the tree peonies, with their elegant heads plundered by buzzing insects.

I stood before a particularly sturdy maple in the centre of the garden, at least three metres tall. The foliage was striking red, demanding attention.

"Acer palmatum Bloodgood," a voice quoted behind me. "Hello there, Yasu. Haven't seen you in a while." I nodded smiling. "Soon, there'll be seeds growing on that maple, ready to fly away in the summer winds. Taken its time, though. There was a moment when I thought the damn thing was going to die on me. I had to help the bugger through the winter. Now, it's standing there, bolder than anything else in the whole garden, puts the rest of the plants to shame."

"Mr. Teien, this garden is breathtaking, as always! How can you say one flower is more beautiful than another?"

"He's right though." Another voice joined the discussion. I turned sharply. By the pond, resting on the bench, was Takumi. He removed his glasses to polish them. "By helping the maple, he has stopped the other plants from growing properly. The maple is taking over the garden."

"In the summer, though, the maple will be scorched by the sun and provide shade for the other plants. Fair exchange, wouldn't you say?"

"Ha ha, quite the heated discussion over a plant," Mr Teien chuckled softly and grinned. "I might make a pair of gardeners out of you yet! Anyhow, best be getting on. See you again, Yasu."

I watched the gardener slowly go, then sat next to Takumi. He seemed much calmer now, his arm hanging in a sling and a crutch leaning against the bench. I didn't know where to begin.

"How are you feeling?" I asked finally, gazing into the pond. There were flashes of gold and silver as the fish flicked their tails and swam from one end to the other.

"I'll live," he said shortly. "My leg is broken and I've pulled several tendons in my arm, so…I won't be on duty for a while." My throat tightened at this news. I knew how much he loved his job and how hard he worked.

"Takumi, I'm sorry." I offered, guilt pulling at my heart.

"What for? It wasn't you that did this to me," he grumbled. "There's nothing to forgive."

"So, we're still friends?" I asked him hopefully.

"Of course," he grinned, shrugging off the question.

"Oh, that's a relief…" I exhaled deeply. "You look really scary when you're angry."

Takumi laughed out loud. "Not as scary as you!" The playful lightness had returned to his voice now and he genuinely seemed happy to see me. I felt relieved that there would be no awkward silences between us. "You know, that tree you made has caused mayhem in the village. Some of the elders think you've been possessed by the First Hokage's spirit!"

"You're joking…" I said with heavy scepticism. Matron Shun had told me about the apparent 'miracle' I had performed. "I still have no idea how I managed to do it. I thought Matron Shun was making a big deal out of it because she was so mad at me."

"Yasu, it was awesome!" Takumi beamed. "You'll have to teach me how to do it."

"Oh, Takumi, I need to ask you something." My memory had been jolted and Takumi knew about these things. "When Gaara came to the hospital, did he have a gourd that looked something like this?" I pulled out the piece of paper from my pocket and placed it into his hand.

Studying the paper, he shook his head.

"So, you haven't seen the gourd?" Takumi was still shaking his head. Without warning, he tore at the picture, ripping it violently into small pieces. Alarmed, I stood up and jumped away from him.

"After what happened to me, you're still treating that rotten excuse for a human being?" He was hurt, his eyes glazing over with tears. I reached out for him but he smacked my hand away.

"Takumi?"

"Keep away from me!" He fought to keep control of himself. "You'll have to leave. I can't storm away at the moment because my leg is broken. That monster has ruined everything for me and you don't even care! Just get out of here!"

He wouldn't be persuaded by any pleas and began throwing the shreds of paper into the garden pond. Regretfully and unable to make amends, I turned on my heel and ran back inside the building.