Don't Drive Faster

Disclaimer: Despite how much we begged, we didn't get Ranger for Christmas. Or any other of JE's characters. She still owns them all.

Authors' notes: Oops. It's been a bit, but then, we've been on break, so we didn't see each other at all, not to mention we were both working our butts off. But here's the latest chapter.

I've always wondered how that man could pack so many meanings into one word. It's just four letters, but it can mean anything from "get out of bed, you're going running," to "There goes another car," to "You look sexy."

This time, the "Babe" clearly means "what the hell have you been rolling in?" We're just back from Girl Scouts and Val's rant, still covered in glitter. Ranger and Alejandro are sitting inside the apartment. At least I recognize Alejandro's aura through the door, so I'm not surprised when we walk into the apartment.

Steph, on the other hand, jumps almost a foot, showering the carpet with glitter. She just shoots Ranger a death glare. This is a sure sign she's pissed; normally she lives in terror of being sent to a third world country.

"Don't ask. I'm taking a shower." She continues to the bedroom, leaving a trail of glitter in her wake.

"Need some help, Babe?" The only reply is the slam of a bedroom door. Ranger just raises an eyebrow.

Alejandro walks over to me. "Shit, Sera, what have you been up to? I thought you just had that Girl Scout thing today?"

"We were at that Girl Scout meeting."

"I take it that it was as bad as you thought it would be?"

"Shit, no! Do you have any idea how much fun a glitter war is? And I got to cover Elmo with it after!"

Alejandro burst out laughing. "How the hell did you manage that?"

"He and Morelli were waiting for us when we left the meeting. Apparently, Joe doesn't think a knee to the balls constitutes a break up.

"Does it? Steph's always gone back to him before."

I'm very close to introducing him to the concept, personally and painfully, but I realize that he does have a point, as much as I hate to admit it. My laughter fades. "Powers That Be know. I don't think she'll go back to him, but I didn't think she would last time, either."

He snorts. "Whatever you say, Sere."

"Besides, if he was going to the station directly from the school, that might drive another wedge between them."

"Do tell?"

"He's rather sparkly right now."

"Is there anyone who didn't end up covered in that crap?"

"Nope. And you and Ranger should probably brush off before you leave."

He looks down at himself. "Shit."

"It's not that bad. Val made Mary Alice hose off in the yard-uniform, shoes, and all- before she was allowed in the house. She said something about not contaminating her house."

"You're kidding."

"Not a bit. And it won't even help. Filipina hates to get wet. She managed to avoid the spray, despite Maia's best efforts.

"Oh." We hear the blow dryer click on in the next room.

"Imagine June Cleaver, rolling pin in hand, chasing after a Valkerye on a white horse. Sayvil alone had enough glitter in her mane and tail to coat the house."

Steph chooses that moment to come back into the room, and plops down on the couch next to Ranger.

"That bad, Babe?"

"Have you any idea how annoying a group of Girl Scouts can be? I've spent the last couple of hours answering questions like 'do you have a boyfriend?' 'why aren't you married' and 'my mom saw you kissing some black ma-'" She turns red. Somehow, I don't think Steph meant to say that.

Ranger's only reply is a wolf grin. He hands her a folder. "Got a job for you, Babe."

Steph opens the folder. I'm at the wrong angle to read it over her shoulder. Damn.

"It's the usual drill?" She asks, "Short skirt, FMP's, lots of cleavage?"

Ranger grins again. Why can't he speak like a normal person?

"Babe." This 'Babe' evidently means "Hell, yeah!"

I can see Steph mentally going through her wardrobe, a slight smile on her face. I hate these things. This is one of those times I wish she realized just what she was putting me though. She's not the only one who has to dress up. The skips might be dumb, but their guardians aren't. If Steph's going in all slutted up, and I still look like my normal kick-ass self, they'll realize something is up.

I really hate these things.

Ranger gets up to go. He's not one for small talk. He stops by the door and pulls Steph into a kiss. That's one way to short-circuit her mental processes. He pushes something into her hand. "You might need this."

He's out the door before she regroups enough to look. It's a car key.