Thank you to everyone that is sticking around and reviewing, reading, favoring this story. This chapter was a long time in the making it seemed like, so I hope you enjoy it.
To my most awesome Beta's-You are wonderful. Thank you so much for your time and hard work that you've put into this with me. I know how hectic life can get and yet you both always find time to work through things, no matter how insignificant. I hope to be able to repay the favor one day!
I do not own anything, it is all JE's
Chapter 6, Months 4 and 5
It had been three weeks since the Kloughns had come to stay at my house. Admittedly, there were moments I wanted to do nothing more than rip my hair out because of all the whining and crying, but mostly I was thankful to have them all at the house.
The noise and constant clatter kept my thoughts at bay until I'd lay my head on my pillow at night. Usually, I'd be too exhausted to process any dark thoughts before I was asleep. Before I'd seen Joe again, I'd made progress and wasn't crying myself to sleep every night, but when he'd shown up unexpectedly, the long nights had become frequent again, if not worse. Between being homesick for the rest of my family, not having my best friend ready to meet me at any moment I needed her and still not having further contact with Joe, the deep loneliness I felt, would bring me into a fit of tears I'd stifle with my pillow.
One night I was curled into a ball in bed crying over my loss of Joe—of the friendship and the unique support system I'd had no idea was so vital to me. I was crying for the loss of tenderness in my life and the other half of me I'd realized was missing all too late.
No matter how much time I had spent with Alex, the moments just weren't the same. I tried hard to get the spark to completely ignite, but thoughts of Joe would sweep over me, and the tiny spark with Alex would fizzle. At one point it'd been there. I'd felt it, and I know Alex had felt it too. But after seeing Joe, even for that short amount of time, I think I'd realized there would never be anything like the energy we'd shared.
Now when Alex would kiss the tender spot by my ear, I felt nothing other than the sense of loss. With Ranger, his presence alone had turned me into mush. And Joe especially had never had a problem getting my engine running. There could be a look in his eyes or his playful tone, and I'd be an absolute goner in his arms.
I was swamped with guilt both from within me as well as the condemning comments from Alex about why our relationship hadn't escalated to a more sexual one yet. I knew why. As much as I wanted him to be, he could never replace Joe and what I'd shared with him.
I was working on getting over that hump in the road.
I tried my hardest not to count days, but time had marched on to where it was right at the six month mark from when Joe had broken up with me. That particular workday had been long and stressful, and I came home to four extremely cranky ladies. It seemed like once one would stop crying another would start up. Is it possible for prepubescent girls to PMS? I was positive every one of us had it that night.
The entire day I'd again longed for Joe's voice to sooth me, but I wasn't going to make the mistake of calling him with nothing to say. If I closed my eyes long enough and tried really hard, I could almost feel his arms wrapped around me, but the imaginary feeling was slowly getting less as the days drifted on. It terrified me I would never have that feeling again. A strong sense of dread would envelope my entire body when I would think about the redhead who probably had Joe's muscular arms wrapped around her.
I'd been crying from the moment I shut my bedroom door to get ready for bed. Wanting nothing more than to fall into a deep dark sleep, I found it was once again illusive that night.
Mary Alice climbed into bed with me. "Aunt Stephanie?"
Between the shaking I was doing from crying and the loud sobs I was producing, I hadn't heard her creep into my room or climb onto my bed. Startled, I sat up straight and tried to wipe away my tears and snot.
I wanted to scream. Couldn't I be allowed a moment to just break down by myself? Seeing the tears in her eyes, I reigned in my anger and pulled her toward me.
"What's wrong Mary?"
"I-I miss Al-Albert," she sobbed out.
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry," I said, trying not to cry for her. "It'll be okay."
She shook her head. "No, it won't. Mommy said so. I just want to go home. I miss my friends and my animals." She started a new round of tears.
"I know, Mary. Trust me, I know how you're feeling."
And I did.
I one hundred percent knew what she was feeling. I started rubbing circles absentmindedly on her back, much like Joe used to do to me when we were on the couch or in bed. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I joined her in shedding new tears.
I couldn't imagine what was going through all of their minds. As an adult, I would be devastated if anything happened between my parents. Never mind having to move away without a choice from everything I'd known and loved. Thinking about all these innocent kids were going through—Angie and Mary Alice for a second time in their short life—brought me deeper into the pity party I was having.
I vowed no matter what happened in my life I would never let my future children go through something like this. I would protect them with everything in me.
When did I start thinking about children belonging to me?
Not too much later, Angie joined us on the bed. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was sniffling.
"I miss him too," Angie whisper cried.
Misery loves company, right? That night the three of us fell asleep crying and holding each other.
The following morning I felt like a Mack truck had hit me. My eyes were swollen and no amount of Visine would make my eyes look near clear. I slathered on endless amounts of makeup to try and make myself look less zombie-like for work.
Thank God the week was almost over.
I'd just finished pouring a cup of coffee when Valerie made her way into the kitchen looking just as bad as I did. Seeing her, I slammed the decanter back into the coffee maker.
"You need to tell me what the fuck is going on!" I hissed at her.
Valerie rubbed her eyes. "Not now, Steph. I just woke up from a horrible night."
Turning back to my cup, I poured cream in and shook my head. As if I couldn't relate? Last night was probably the worst night I'd had since moving to Philly and that was saying something. I cursed my upbringing. Freaking Plums! Never wanting to talk about or confront anything!
"The weather isn't supposed to be too hot Saturday. Wanna go to the zoo?" she asked, effectively changing the subject.
"I have a date with Alex. Can we do another day?" I asked, trying my best to hold my anger in.
Count to ten, Stephanie.
"Invite him. I know you wanted to go, and I think we should really get out of the house."
She was right. Even though Alex had been trying his best to avoid any more time with my family in my little house than absolutely necessary, he was going to have to suck it up. I wanted to go to the zoo, and I wasn't about to miss out.
"Mom, look at the giraffes!" Angie exclaimed, tugging on Val's right arm and trying to pull her closer to the exhibit.
"Mooooooooom, when are we going on the pony rides? You prrooomised." whined Mary Alice, tugging on Val's other arm.
Both her arms were free because I was busy pushing little Lisa in her stroller. The four of us were walking through the Philadelphia Zoo. We got an early start in the morning in order to avoid the heat that was sure to tire us by afternoon. After a hearty breakfast of sausage, eggs and hash browns al la Aunt Stephanie, we headed out to the zoo.
I think I may have been more excited than the kids. The zoo was huge with thousands of animals, and it had rides. Since I hadn't been to a zoo since I was a young kid, it was going to be like a whole new experience. As soon as we were at the ticket counter, I bought us all the Family Plus membership. The membership included free unlimited admission plus free rides on the camels and horses and bird feedings. There was a giant carousal and tree house. It cost a bundle, and I was glad to able to more than afford it. I knew it would be well worth it, not only for me, but to see the girls have smiling faces again.
Alex had declined the invitation to the zoo, stating his cousin was in town and they would hang out. If they weren't bar hopping by the time night fell, he'd give me a call. That was fine by me. I knew I'd be too tired after walking miles around the zoo in the sun to do anything that evening.
We finally arrived at the last stop for the day. The much awaited draft horse and pony rides. Lisa had fallen asleep not long after a nasty tantrum she'd thrown due to her missed nap-time and was out cold. Angie and Mary Alice were waiting in line for their turn as patiently as they could. Angie's eagerness to be a part of something her sister loved surprised me. It was one of many ways they were completely different than Val and I'd been growing up.
I looked over at Valerie. She was watching her little ladies in line, smiling and waving at both of them. She really was a good mother. Not perfect, but then nobody ever was. She turned her attention toward me.
"What's that look for?" she asked.
"Since I've had two new bed buddies the last few nights, I think I absolutely have the right to know what's going on with you and Albert." I told her.
Immediately jumping on the defensive, she threw her arms in the air and huffed, "You want us to leave? Fine, Steph. I'll go stay with mom and dad again. I thought you wanted us here."
Shaking my head, I opened my mouth to respond but quickly closed it again. If I wanted to know what was going on, I knew I had to keep my attitude in check.
"That isn't what I'm saying, Val, and you know it." Whew, that took more control than I realized. "All I really want to know is why Mary Alice thinks nothing will ever be okay again."
Valerie looked down at her hands for a moment and then lifted her gaze to meet mine. Her eyes were cloudy and moist. I put my hand on her shoulder as a consoling gesture. I was getting good at it since the nights I'd spent with her daughters.
"We're broke, Stephanie," she started. I tried to hold my grimace, but she caught it. "Yeah, it's bad." She shook her head. "I didn't know we were so far behind on so many bills. I got mad one day having to take care of everything, so I threw all our bills at Albert and told him to take care of them for now on." Valerie paused, gulping back a sob. "But he didn't. He doesn't manage money well."
"It's not the end of the world, Val," I tried to reassure her, but it looked like it was no use. "Did he not pay them on purpose?"
Valerie was slowly losing the control over her tears. I could relate. "No, he forgot, and by the time I realized what was going on we were so far behind, I panicked. It's my fault, Steph. I should have been paying more attention. It's not like Albert brings in loads of money, and he's never managed his own before."
She removed a tissue from her purse to wipe her eyes. "I was the housewife. It's expected I take care of the kids, the food, the house and the bills. I just got so frustrated on that day and passed along one of my responsibilities. On top of that, we'd been arguing over him closing his own firm and joining a partnership. I didn't want him to, because I was so proud of him doing it on his own—even if we had to struggle. I failed again."
I used the move that seemed to help Mary Alice and Angie and took her in my arms.
"You didn't fail. This can all be fixed and will be okay."
"No, it can't. He spent the bill money on other stuff. It was stuff we needed, but he didn't budget it right. Our power almost got shut off!"
"Yes, it can," I said adamantly, then asked, "Do you love him?"
When she nodded, I pressed on, "Then you have to start there and try. You can't run and expect everything to fix itself. It's not like he's doing what Steve did to you. He forgot to pay some bills. He wasn't taking all the money away," I said, remembering what her first husband had done to her.
Val whipped her head up and broke from the embrace. Taking a few steps back, she said, "You—Stephanie Plum—telling me not to run? Not to repeat what I did from my last failed marriage?"
"Yeah, I know—shocker—but you learn from experience," I shrugged.
"Really? What the hell are you doing then?" she asked.
Huh was my lovely response since I wasn't entirely keeping with her train of thought.
"You ran. That's why you're here."
"No, I got a job is what I did." As usual, I was saying it as much to convince myself as to convince Valerie.
"You mean to tell me if Joe and you were still together you'd still be living here?" She asked with her eyebrows all the way into her forehead.
"You know what Valerie? It doesn't matter, does it?"
"What do you mean it doesn't matter? Of course it does! You don't think I see all this change you're trying to make? Trying to keep up with Alex—changing for him—in order to replace Joe?"
I opened my mouth to deny what she was saying when she shook her head again and pointed a finger at me. "Since when do you cook and clean—huh? How about going to the gym every time Alex tells you to? I have never known you to bow down to a man, Stephanie."
Okay, that was it. I was pissed. She was just trying to take the heat off of herself and put it onto me with these false accusations. We'd grown closer since she'd started living with me, but she was overstepping her bounds.
"You don't know what you're talking about. Okay?" My arms were waving, spit coming out of my mouth. I was almost rabid. "You have no idea what is going on. I changed for me. I wanted to cook for me. I want a clean home for me, and I eat too many Tastykakes and doughnuts. Sue me." Good thing I was angry because that's the only way I could sound near convincing.
"Did I hit a nerve, little sister?" Valerie said in a condescending tone.
Had she hit a nerve? Of course she had, and because of it, I was getting ready to scream at her and tell her some more about how very wrong she was.
I couldn't however, because two bouncy girls started coming our way.
"Mom! That was SO. MUCH. FUN!" exclaimed Mary Alice.
"Yeah, I think we should get a pony," said Angie, "Aunt Stephanie has a back yard!"
Valerie turned to me, "This conversation is not over."
She grabbed both girls into a hug as they all walked off toward the car. For the first ten minutes, the girls were trying to convince Valerie to buy them a pony. Finally they lost steam and fell asleep. Valerie and I refused to talk to each other for the entire ride. Good! It gave me time to roll over everything we'd said in my mind.
Was it that obvious I'd been making changes for Alex? Originally I'd wanted to make changes for me. The outside changes I'd originally intended on making were small—a meal here or there just to say I could cook. Cleaning was so I wouldn't have clothes all over the place and to be a little more organized.
None of it had been good enough for Alex. He'd signed me up for cooking classes so I could make a full five-course meal. And when he'd come over to the house, I'd spot him checking for dust. As for working out—in the past I'd been able to muster up enough energy to do twenty minutes tops walking on the treadmill. Now I found myself signed up for every class. Yuck.
"Pretty please, with a cherry on top?"
"Oh come on. You know what a sweet tooth I have. I need way more than a cherry on top!"
"Oh yeah? Rumor has it your sweet tooth is why you're being told to go to the gym all the time. So how about I add M&M's, extra whipped cream, fudge, pea—"
"Who told you that?"
I was finding out I wasn't just gossip fodder in the Burg. Everything I did here in Philly turned to gossip as well. It wasn't any stretch of the imagination Marisa was still talking to people at the office. Even Sue had been over to her house once when I'd visited.
I had a feeling I knew where this information was coming from—Jessica, Alex's assistant. She had full access to his calendar, and Alex enjoyed tracking when my aerobics classes were—classes he'd signed me up for and happened to be at the gym when they were scheduled. I skipped a class once and I got a call asking if there was some sort of emergency for having missed Zumba.
No! I was freaking exhausted!
Marisa laughed. "No, never mind. Please will you go to brunch with me? Mark is out of town, and I don't want to waste a good babysitter. I have a freaking Groupon! Please, Stephanie," she pleaded.
"Fine," I relented, "I'll pick you up in an hour."
I kept my word and picked Marisa up at the appointed time. I made sure to get there a few minutes early in order to say hello to her older kids and squeeze little Sophia. The smell of baby was too delicious. Other than when she cried, her baby powder and overall baby smell was a calming agent to me.
When exactly had that happened?
"If I didn't love the smell of my own baby so much, I'd think you were a weirdo. Try not to do that in public," Marisa laughed as soon as we got in the car.
"Yeah, watch out. You'll be watching the evening news, and next thing you know, they'll have my picture plastered on the screen, 'Baby Sniffer on the Loose'," I quipped. "Where are we going with this Groupon of yours?"
"Distrito. I'll buy you dessert too."
On our way to the restaurant as well as after we'd been seated, Marisa caught me up with all of Sophia's firsts.
"It doesn't matter how many kids you have," she gushed. "Their first smile and laugh or when they roll over is all just as exciting as the last."
I loved hearing about baby Sophia. I always looked forward to updates on what she was doing, and any chance I had, I wanted to see her. Darn that precious baby girl! Ever since she'd been born I swear I'd heard a little 'tick, tock' in the back of my head. I'd felt a slight yearning when Lisa was born, but not like this. How often I'd find myself thinking about babies was starting to scare the crap out of me!
"I always do this to you!" Marisa said, and I raised my eyebrows at her. "Talk about me and mine. Now what's new with you? Any word from your Joe?" She swooned.
I'd spent time with Marisa since I'd seen Joe, so I didn't have to fill her in about the surprise meeting. But I did let her in on something I hadn't shared with anyone up to this point.
"Let's clarify this one more time. He's not mine," I sighed dramatically. "I want him to stop by again though," I admitted.
"Why? Hasn't his chance meeting complicated your life enough already?"
"I'm not even sure I understand it. I don't know what I'd say," I tried to explain, "When I was with him, I knew I loved him. There was no question."
I scrubbed my hands over my face, frustrated with myself. "But being apart from him showed me I need something from him. Even if it's friendship, I think I can deal with that."
I think I could settle with just friendship with Joe. I hoped. It would be hard, but if that's all I could have I'd find a way to make it okay. But first, I needed to find a legitimate reason to call him, and work hadn't provided that yet.
"Is Alex going to be okay with having your ex as a friend? Are you sure you would really be okay with just friendship?" she asked with the most sincere tone.
I shook my head. I already knew Alex would not be okay with a friendship between Joe and me. He already seemed to be on 'High Joe Alert' since our meeting over a month ago.
Have you called Joe? I want to see your phone.
Have you seen Joe? I can put a GPS on your car just like that dumb Army guy.
Has he called you?
No emails?
Are you sure?
You aren't lying, are you? I know how good you used to be at that. I'll see through you.
Why do you still have this box of stuff. There's nothing but crap from Joe in here. Get rid of it.
I was so tired of his questions every time I saw him.
When he'd first started asking questions about Joe, I'd stuck up for myself. Putting my foot down, I'd claimed I was my own woman—because I was. With each fight though, his voice would become louder and louder and his eyes colder with each instance. If I thought my fights with Joe had been bad, I was in no way prepared for a fight with someone who had a real temper and what I was beginning to understand was a lack of control.
After every fight, I'd a mental back and forth. One side of my brain told me to run while the other refused to back out of the relationship—remembering the promise to myself. How did I know when the right time was to end it? My heart and head screamed now, but maybe I could change him—show him what a good relationship could be and that there was no reason to fight. I could even recognize the fact I was slowly losing myself, but my brain kept thinking maybe it was for the better?
"Why are you giving up?" asked Marisa, the Philly version of Mary Lou kicking in.
"I'm not giving up anything." My hackles were rising slowly.
"Yes, actually you are," she said in an authoritative tone. I half expected her to be pointing a finger at my face, shaking it. Good thing she had a fork and knife in hand. "You're giving up on any more of a possibility of a relationship with Joe."
"Joe made his intentions quite clear, Marisa." Part of me wanted to laugh at her tone, but I was going so far into defensive zone it'd be a wonder if anyone would be able to find me. Plus she had a point, and I hated it. "I'm not giving up so much as giving in. I thought you liked Alex. Why are you pushing for me to go after Joe?"
"You're right. He did tell you what he wanted. Did you ever think he was forced into a corner to let you go? Maybe he did it because he knew he had to come here?" She stopped to take a bite of her meal. "The way you look when you talk about Joe is why I keep asking the same questions. I've seen you and Alex together, and it's not the same. He's a good guy, and if you're not giving one hundred percent of yourself, then both of you deserve better."
"Of course I've thought of that! But the pain in his eyes—there's so much more to it. He wouldn't have made it so final if it was just a job taking him away. This wasn't the only time he's had to leave, and we've stayed together in the past. This time was the final burial to our relationship." I shuddered, recounting that moment again. "I keep thinking maybe it will change between Alex and me—that the guilt I feel knowing I moved on before I was over Joe will go away."
"How long have you been seeing him? Two? Three months? If you're not feeling anything yet, you won't."
"I do have feelings for him though," I adamantly stated.
"I don't doubt you do, but it's not what you should be feeling. You can't deny it."
"How are you so sure?"
Scooping more salsa onto her plate, she sidestepped my question, "Why are you leading Alex on. More importantly, why are you leading yourself on?"
"Have you seen my track record for relationships? Every single one I've managed to screw up. I just want a shot at a normal relationship—to make it work." I felt defeated, and I knew it came through in every aspect of my being.
"Stephanie, you can't force things. You and I both damn well know you haven't been the cause of all your relationships to fail. What is with you?"
I waved her off. "In some way, shape or form it has been my fault."
"I mean this in the nicest way. Right now you're not the woman I know. The woman I know may not have the best self-esteem, but she at least has some. The woman I know has a sense of humor. She's able to find humor in just about any situation. She doesn't lie down and take anything from anyone. Other than when you saw Sophia, I can't remember what your real smile looks like."
"It seems to have worked in your favor," I replied. "I'm here aren't I?" I answered derisively.
"Stephanie, what are you going to do? You look exhausted. I have a baby and I'm not as tired as you."
"I don't know," I replied honestly. "I'm going home next weekend with Val. She's giving Albert another chance. Alex wants to come too."
"He's going home with you?" Her expression was pure shock. "You're going to let your parents meet him?"
I snorted. "Yep. My mom has been pestering me nonstop to meet him since I told her I was in a relationship, and Alex is determined I don't leave him behind."
"I noticed he seemed a little clingy lately. I'm actually surprised he hasn't called you."
I took my phone out of my purse and waved it around. "That's only because I turned it off. I had to up my calling minutes because of how much he talks. As soon as I drop you off, I'll have to spend at least fifteen minutes deleting voicemails and then have to sit through his diatribe of how I need to keep in better contact. I thought my mother was bad. Turns out she was only preparing me for Alex."
"He does that? There would be a full blown battle going on at my house."
I snorted, because that's exactly what I wanted to do. The new Stephanie however was trying the calm tactic—counting to one hundred and then maybe having to double—even triple—it a few times. Ugh, one more way I was giving in. But compromise was needed, right?
"He says I used to find trouble all the time, so he does it to make sure I'm safe."
We finished our meals and on the way home Marisa would not stop talking about all the money she saved with the dang Groupon. She used the coupons for excuses to go on dates with her husband. I was the stand in this week, and she kept thanking me. When we arrived at her house, I stole one more squish and sniff of baby Sophie and headed home, prepared to deal with Alex's inquisition during the drive.
"Oh-Mi-Gawd! I think I'm seein' an apparition or whatever that shit's called!" Lula cried while scuffling toward me. "This cannot be for real!"
I waved my hands in the air. "I'm for real. I'm here. Nice to see you too," I rolled my eyes.
"Are you sure? I still think you're a ghost. I didn't think you'd ever show up again after bailin' on us last time. I felt like minced meat."
"Well today you're my first stop, and I brought doughnuts. If you want them you'd better stop thinking I'm a ghost."
That got Lula's attention.
"Oh shit! You are real! What was I thinkin'?"
Again I rolled my eyes as Lula confiscated the box of doughnuts from me. Good to see some things never changed.
"Hey Steph," came from Connie. "You staying long? We could sure use your help around here."
"Yeah! You know I could really use help with the jackass Connie gave me this morning," Lula confirmed after stuffing the rest of her doughnut into her mouth. It may have been half the doughnut, but it's Lula—I try not to judge. When she finished chewing she added, "Not that I need help. More like I want to experience old times."
"Sorry, Lula, no can do today. Alex is with me." But I really wanted to—that is if the FTA was harmless.
"Alex?" Connie and Lula echoed excitedly. Both of them jumped from their positions and ran to the big plate glass window in front of the bonds office. I felt the whoosh of air from them flying by at top speed to put their noses against the window.
Laughing, I said, "Give it a minute, and he'll be in. He's just finishing up a phone call."
Not two seconds later, I heard both girls suck in air as Alex climbed out of the car. Clad in running shoes, tan shorts and a breezy black button up shirt, I had to admit he was enough to get most woman's juices flowing.
"How the hell do you do it, girlie?" Lula asked, shaking her head.
"Do what?" I looked back and forth between Connie and Lula who were trying to appear as though they hadn't been acting like a couple of weirdo women.
"Snag such fine ass men. Although, he doesn't look like he has an ass like Officer Hottie, and he's not quite as muscular as Batman, but you sure do alright for yourself."
"The cheek bones are nice," stated Connie, and she was right. Alex had a very manly face. At least that's what I was hoping she was talking about.
Before they could continue on with their assessment of the goods, Alex walked in.
"Hey Honey," Alex leaned over and gave me a kiss. I'm pretty sure I heard swooning in the background.
"Alex, this is Connie," I said, sweeping my hand in her direction. "And this is Lula. Girls, this is Alex."
"Alexander MacLaine, but you can call me Alex." I rolled my eyes. I hated the way he introduced himself. It felt so—pretentious.
"Nice to meet you." Lula came rushing over to take Alex's hand. In the process she dropped an earring.
"You as well, Lula." Alex said, wide-eyed at Lula's outfit.
After shaking Alex's hand, Lula turned around and bent over to retrieve her earring, flashing us at least half of each butt cheek. Lula still hadn't learned that short, Spandex outfits were not her best friends. Alex coughed and turned toward me in shock. I smiled. That was my Lula. She may have aggravated me at times, but she was truly a genuine person. No harm, no foul.
"So girlie you gonna help me round up some scumbags today?"
"I can't," I shook my head. "We only brought one car, and I have to go check into the hotel."
"Huhn! You ain't staying with your parents?"
"Alex didn't feel comfortable staying in my old room. Mom's pretty upset about it. I had to promise not to go to the continental breakfast," I explained. More like he thought I'd feel more comfortable in a different atmosphere to have my way with him. I wasn't necessarily dreading it, but to say I was unexcited was an understatement. He had convinced himself this would be where we finally did more than kissing. No amount of 'I just don't think I'm ready yet' would change his mind.
"Not a bad idea and all, but I thought you would be spending time with your grandma. I saw her the other night at the hall. You know—bingo night. That's where I found that slime Gino Santoni."
"He isn't slime, Lula. He has dementia. He forgot to pay a parking ticket several times," Connie explained to Alex and me.
"Anyway—" Lula shot Connie a pointed look, daring her to interrupt again. "She was telling off some old man—said he didn't have a big enough penis and she was over him."
I started shaking with the laughter I was trying to hold in. That was my grandma. No one else was like her—anywhere. I couldn't wait to see her, but the last time I'd been in town I hadn't been able to hang out with my bond girls. I needed that too.
"So you gonna help me or not?"
"Help her with what?" Alex turned to me and asked in a semi-demanding tone, obviously missing the scumbag comment from a few moments ago.
"Uh, no—no I'm not helping her with anything."
"Oh, come on white girl—for old times! This one's easy—just check fraud. And he's an old fart. We can take my baby since he ain't known to walk around naked. Please?" Lula pleaded.
I really wanted to help Lula for old time's sake like she'd said, but I knew Alex was going to have a fit and not allow it.
Alex glared at me and then his face softened. "Actually, I was just talking to my good friend that lives here. We want to meet up for drinks later. Why don't I go check into the hotel while you and," he motioned to Lula, not remembering her name, "do whatever it is you do. I'll meet you at your parents before I go out. She can drop you off. Tonight I'll go out with my friend, and you can relax with your family. I can pick you up later."
"What about Rex?"
"What about him?" Alex asked.
I rolled my eyes and got a look that said 'don't act like that' from Alex.
"He can't stay in the car."
Connie piped in, saving the day, "You can leave him with me. When you come back with your body receipt," she smirked, "you can pick him up."
"Okay honey, go get him. What time do I need to be at your parents? And write down the address."
Lula and Connie both gave me odd looks, and I pretended I hadn't noticed his annoyed tone.
Sounded like a good plan to me!
I had just set Rex down on Connie's desk after Alex left to check into the hotel, when the jingle from the bell at the door rang through the office. From the looks on the girls' faces I didn't have to guess too hard on who it was. My heart stared skipping beats out of nervousness.
Ranger.
Our last conversation had been a 'closure' conversation. I hadn't really thought about him much lately, as my thoughts had been more consumed with Joe and work. But now I was worried about how awkward this meeting would be.
Biting my lip, I turned around to greet him.
"Babe. Nice to see you around here again." He nodded at me.
"Thanks—nice seeing you too. I'm just visiting though."
"So you like Philly?" he asked. Wow, something must have happened with Ranger. I worried maybe I was going to use all of his monthly word allotment. I nodded as he continued on into Vinnie's office. I hadn't even realized Vinnie was in—thank God!
He stopped right in the doorway. "How long you here for?"
"Just till tomorrow. I'm dropping Alex off at the airport and then heading home."
Ranger's lips tipped up. "Alex?"
"Yeah, he—uh—um," I stammered. "He's someone I've been seeing. He's going to a regional conference for the week." For whatever reason that got me a half smile from Ranger, which would be a blinding toothy smile from anyone else. It almost seemed like he was happy for me.
"Plans tonight?" he asked, which got gasps out of Lula and Connie, but, for me felt more like the wind had been knocked out of me. What did he think? That we were going to have a relationship again? Not that it had stopped him before, but had I not just told him I was seeing someone? Hello! I wasn't the same person anymore!
"Actually, I could use all three of you if you're available." Both Connie and Lula's eyes brightened. Meanwhile, I let out a giant breath of air. "Rangeman has a bond out on a guy that is going out with a bunch of buddies tonight. We could use you two," he said pointing at Lula and Connie, "to distract his friends. You," he said looking at me, "can get the guy out. It'd be worth your time."
"I—I don't know. I seem to remember the last distraction job I did for you didn't end so well."
Ranger shook his head. "This time there won't be any outside factors like Bentio to come in and screw everything up."
"Let me think about it, okay?"
"Babe," he said and turned into Vinnie's office.
"You better do this girlie. I won't never forgive you if you don't. I gotta make me some money. Pay for a purse I got on order." She dropped her voice. I wasn't sure if it was so no one could hear her hormones as she added, "spend some time with the one and only Batman."
"I said I'd think about it. Let's see how rounding up this FTA goes."
Leaving Rex with Connie, we headed out to get Vince Stromboli. I was a little nervous about not having any gear with me other than hairspray, but then again, that's pretty much all I'd used when this was my profession. Plus Lula had promised me I wouldn't need them.
For once, Lula was correct. We hadn't needed a single weapon to get Vince in the back of the Firebird. I doubted if we'd even needed handcuffs, but he'd insisted we put them on.
I missed getting amped up for a take down. Even if this one had been easy, a small adrenaline rush had still been there. When we arrived at the precinct to turn Vince over, I realized I missed pulling into that parking lot too. I missed all the familiar faces—especially Joe's. I missed all the people I knew could be counted on when something in my life went awry—yet another thing I'd taken for granted. A feeling of melancholy swept over me.
I was waiting by the bench for Lula to get her body receipt when I heard, "Well, well, well, look what we have here." Eddie grabbed me into a tight hug.
"Hey, I missed you too. Now let me go so I can breathe!" I gasped out.
Before I could get my feet off the ground, I was taken from Eddie and suddenly in Carl's arms, then Big Dog and finally Brian Simon's.
"Shit it's been quiet around here without you. It's not the same," Brian said and everyone around us made sounds of agreement.
"Life isn't the same without all of you in it either," I said, and realized it wasn't. I missed the familiarity of home.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the redhead, looking just as freaking pretty as the day I'd seen her with Joe.
I must have been giving her my all mighty death glare, because Carl snorted, "Cynthia Something. FBI."
I raised my eyebrows in question. I knew there was more he wasn't telling me. He continued, "Working on that case with Morelli. Rumor has it she's scouting for recruits, and he's top of the list. If he makes this bust, he's on the golden highway to government."
"They're not seeing each other?" I asked.
Eddie barked out a laugh. "No, even Morelli couldn't get her to change her ways." He dropped his voice to a whisper. "She's a lesbian."
Big Dog was quick to add, "Not that he would try to—you know—change her or anything." He winked.
Was he really joking about this with me? Lesbians don't kiss men on the lips do they? And the way they'd been walking, there had to be more to the story. Probably it just hadn't hit the Burg grapevine yet. It would come out eventually.
"Yeah, he's been too busy working to come home too, kinda like you," Eddie jabbed me.
A wave of relief washed over me, but at the same time I was sad to know Joe had been working himself so hard he couldn't come home to Bob as well as the fact he was possibly being recruited for the FBI. Not that being recruited was a bad thing, but I wasn't participating in the joy I'm sure he was feeling over it. I'd been lucky enough to find him in another city and state. That wouldn't happen if the FBI took him far, far away.
"Anyway, it was great seein' you. Make sure you say 'hi' next time you're around," Carl said. Again everyone nodded in agreement, and I was passed around to everyone for farewell hugs.
"That was a really good visit," I said to Lula on the way back to the bonds office.
"It's always a good day when you're around, Steph. They wasn't lyin'. It ain't the same without your ass getting into trouble around here." She put the car in park and turned to look at me, "Speaking of asses, you don't have one no more. You've never been voluptuous like myself, but girl, you ain't nothin' but a pale ass twig. I didn't know you could get any whiter. Showed me wrong."
"I've been working out—uh—it helps me with stress."
"They don't have Tastykakes a state over?"
"They do. I just try to stay away from them."
"You didn't have a doughnut either this mornin'. You sick?"
"No, Lula." I said exasperated, deciding a change of subject was in order. I had the perfect solution. "So, about tonight's distraction—"
"YES!" Lula yelled. "I knew you was gonna do it."
I shook my head. "Well, I'm going to call Alex first and see what he says. Capturing Vince went pretty well today."
"You're going to call a man to ask permission to do anything?" Lula asked in disbelief.
I thought about it for a moment and decided—no—I wasn't going to tell him anything. He was going out with a friend, and technically that's all I would be doing too. That's what I'd tell him. Or not. Maybe I wouldn't tell him anything at all.
"Nope, you're right. Now let's call Ranger. See what we need to wear."
"Short and skimpy," I told Connie and Lula. "We won't be wearing wires because of our outfits, but I think we'll be fine. He said this guy isn't too much of a hazard—just needs a lady's touch."
Connie and Lula high-fived each other.
"Shoppin' time! I'm about to distract the shit out of those men! You watch out—this might be my next profession." She did a little dance.
Ranger had the perfect plan, because we all knew it wouldn't take much for Lula to distract a man.
"I don't have time to shop. I have to go to my parents' house for dinner." I said with a pout.
"What size you wear? You seen my wardrobe? I do short and skimpy." Lula asked.
Connie and I exchanged nervous glances. "Uh, I wear a 3."
Lula looked thoughtful for a moment. "Oh yeah, I got plenty of that. I'll bring over a few things, and then we'll head out, girlie. Come on, I got shit to do."
I grimaced. I hadn't brought anything other than ultra conservative clothes thanks to Alex having thrown a tantrum over what I'd originally laid out on the bed to pack. I didn't have much of a choice. I knew Connie wore a few sizes too big for me, considering her Betty Boop assets.
Grabbing Rex, we made our way to my parents' house. The whole ride I didn't say a word since Lula was going nonstop on ways she was going to distract tonight.
"Maybe I'll pop a boob out like I did with that car thief. You know who I'm talkin' about? Bugsy? No, it was—" snapping her fingers, she added, "Buggy." And she hollered out a laugh.
We pulled up front of my parents' row house. "Tell your Grandma I said hi and I'll check you later," Lula said as I got out of the car.
Apparently maternal instincts were still in place even though I'd moved away, seeing as my mom and grandma were waiting out front per usual. My mother rushed toward me, gave an awkward hug around Rex's cage and then took him from me.
"I'll take him inside."
Grandma was right behind her in a bright pink warm up suit—and florescent pink hair to match.
Primping her hair, she said, "You like it? I thought I'd do something different since you were coming. Now I have to go finish my make up!"
I nodded. I didn't have words for her hair. She took my hand, and we walked into the house together. I went into the kitchen while she continued on upstairs.
"Your father is out with the cab. He'll be home before dinner. Was that Lula that dropped you off? Where's Alex?"
"Lula and I were out." I didn't want to give her a reason to backtrack on all the progress we'd made with our relationship knowing I'd been out hunting an FTA—no matter how harmless he'd been. "Alex should be here before dinner too. He went to check into the hotel."
My mother pursed her lips together. I could tell she wanted to get on me about the hotel thing again, but she was trying to keep it civil.
"I know, I know," I said, waving my hands. "But Alex wanted to get a room so we did."
She gave me a sad smile. "I guess you're right. All that matters is you're here. And you brought your sister. Poor Albert, he's been here almost every night."
"Really?"
"Yes, he was. I didn't want to say anything to you since your sister was there, and I knew it would come out eventually. I'm glad you talked with her. He may be an idiot," she crossed herself for saying something derogatory toward another, "but he loves Valerie and the girls."
"Uh huh." I waited a moment before proceeding, bracing myself, "Do you know what's going on with Grandma?" When I saw she was about to deny knowing anything, I added firmly, "You can't really expect me to believe she's just going to physical therapy, and you know nothing about it, do you?"
The look on her face was pure guilt. "No, I don't. You aren't a child. As you can tell, there are times I still want to protect you like one, but you're right, I can't." She looked at me sheepishly.
Pulling out chairs for both of us, she went on to tell me about Grandma Mazur's health scare.
"The doctors aren't sure what it was. Because of her age, they were almost positive it was cancer." She sniffled. I was starting to tear up as well. Not my grandmother! "They kept taking blood work and then they did get concerned about her arthritis. I think she was worrying so much her mind decided to convince her she wasn't going to make it, and she started giving up."
She got up and brought the box of tissues over to me, dabbing her eyes, "When she went to stay with you, they wanted her to meet with a specialist there. She wasn't prepared to give more blood and go through a very strenuous physical evaluation. That's why she was so exhausted. She felt so badly. She wanted to spend time with you, but she was so tired all she did was sleep."
Blowing my nose, I asked, "Do they know what she has?"
She shook her head. "No, they're awaiting the outcome of more tests. I don't know if I can watch her go through any more than I have." At my shocked expression, she added, "I can, and I will—that's not what I meant, but she's my mother! I hate to see her in so much pain."
By this point we were both crying like babies over the pain of a mother and grandmother, and our own pain of having to watch her go through this.
This had to have been the worst year.
"W-why didn't you want to say anything?"
It was as if a light switch turned on, and my mother realized she'd broken down—in front of someone even. She immediately got up, blew her nose and went to the kitchen sink to splash cold water on her face.
When she spoke again, she was her normal stoic self—back to Helen Plum, Queen Mom.
"I was respecting her wishes. Until she knows either way, she doesn't want anyone to worry."
She stopped me before I could even open my mouth. "Don't worry, I told her she wasn't fooling anyone. The two of you both wear your feelings on your face. I don't care what comes out of your mouth I always see the truth." She gave me a pointed look. "Don't say anything to her, but it wouldn't be a bad thing if you called to check in with her a little more often. I know she's missing you."
"I miss her—well everyone—too," I said, still letting out little hiccups from my crying jag.
"I can tell. It looks like it's taking a toll on you. You've always been skinny because of our metabolism, but this is too much." She ran her hand up and down beside me.
"I've just been trying to be healthier." And because of the lecture I would get if I didn't show up at the gym. I think I'd worked out more in the last month than in my entire life. It so hadn't been worth it.
"What was the conversation we just had? That's not the truth and you know it. When you're ready to talk to me about it, I'm here." I couldn't believe this was my mother talking. Blinking back the tears that threatened, inside I did a happy dance. "And promise me you won't say anything to your grandmother." When I hesitated, she gave me the same look that had me confessing the choo choo incident. "Stephanie! Promise me."
"Promise!" I squeaked. That look had the same effect in my thirties as it had when I was a small child. How scary is that?
"Now that we've settled everything, help me finish dinner. Your father should be home shortly."
I helped her whip up the potatoes and did the gravy. We worked in companionable silence until everything was finished. Every once in a while I would catch her watching me. She had what looked like a proud smile on her face as I assisted.
"You said you'd been cooking. I'm sorry I didn't realize how much improvement you've made. You whipped those potatoes up as if you'd been doing it for years. No blender or whatever the young girls are using nowadays."
"Thanks." I said, trying to act nonchalant. In truth I was pretty proud too. Damn Alex and the classes he'd made me take. It'd been worth it to see the smile on her face.
The automatic timer for the pot roast went off—not that my mother needed one. It worked as more of an alarm for everyone else. Grandma made her way into the kitchen in the same ensemble she'd had on earlier with her make up completed. She looked like a full make up container had exploded on her face. Concealing powder five shades too dark stopped at her chin. Bright pink blush, orange lipstick, and finally deep purple eye shadow completed the look. Maybe she'd been hanging with Lula while I'd been out of town.
"What'd ya think?" she asked, smacking her lips together.
"I like it." I tore my eyes away from her to steal a glance at my mother, who was crossing herself. "Hot date tonight. Have to look my best," she said.
"You're going to Stiva's?" I questioned in horror.
"Stiva's—Bingo—maybe we'll hit the bar later. I took a nap, so I'm in tip top form for a good night," she finished with a wink.
Followed closely but not too close, were my dad and Alex, who apparently had met each other already since I heard my father say, "You really should be looking into American cars. That Buick out there doesn't cost a quarter as much as yours for oil changes—all that synthetic crap they make you put in German cars," he grunted with disgust.
When our eyes met, the bitter look on his face disappeared. "Pumpkin."
"Daddy." I responded, making my way into his arms for a hug. Absence had definitely made the heart grow fonder. My father and I'd never had a difficult relationship, but we weren't exactly the close, huggy type, and I welcomed his arms.
He patted my shoulder and shot Alex a disapproving look as he made his way over to his seat at the table.
Wonder what that was about?
Alex greeted me with a peck on the cheek.
"Did you have a good day, honey?"
"Yeah," I said happily, "Lula and I—"
"Why don't you introduce me to your mom?" he said, cutting me off.
"Okay," I said, turning around to go into the kitchen where my mother was. She was right behind me. I slammed into the bowl she was holding, and rolls went flying everywhere.
"Honey, how many times do I have to tell you to watch where you're going?" Alex's stern voice came from behind me as I helped my mom pick up the rolls.
"It's not a problem," my mother said to Alex. "It was an accident. They happen."
"They seem to happen more when she's around," joked Alex, but I could tell he was serious.
My mother shot him her best Burg death glare. "Why don't you go take a seat? Stephanie can help me bring everything to the table."
That's where I got 'the look' from.
Alex did what he was told. No one messes with the death glare. My mother pulled me into the kitchen.
"Does he always talk to you like that?"
Remembering our conversation from this afternoon, I replied honestly, "Some times. Not all the time. I push his buttons and that's his way of reacting."
My mother looked disappointed. "How were you pushing his buttons? He wasn't here for ten minutes."
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe it was the conversation with Daddy."
"No excuses. There is no—"
I cut her off, knowing where she was about to go, and knowing I wouldn't be able to tell her she was wrong—because she wasn't.
"Let's go eat. He's leaving after dinner, and we can talk about it later—maybe."
We made our way into the dining room, and the sight before me startled me. There was another man in Joe's chair, and, God, it looked—wrong. We proceeded to have one of the most awkward dinners I'd ever had. No one said anything. I kept meeting Grandma's eyes, and she'd smile. I'd given her a questioning look once, and she'd darted her eyes between my dad and Alex. Something must have happened while I was in the kitchen with my mom.
I could have sworn I heard my father grumble, "Where's the Italian Stallion to steal my food when you need 'em?" All the while shoveling more gravy onto his plate.
"Excuse me?" Alex asked my father.
"Nothing," My father replied in a sharp tone. Whew. The tension skyrocketed through the roof before it was quiet again.
Lula showed up right before dessert was served, and with a short, not sweet, kiss goodbye, Alex headed out to meet with his friend.
Lula saved the day by keeping the conversation from ever going to Alex. Eventually I knew I'd have to have that talk with my mother—now possibly my father too, but the longer I put it off the better!
"Mmmm, nothin' like Plum dessert!" Lula said, shoveling more pineapple upside down cake down her throat. If she knew what was good for her, she wouldn't dare go for a third piece.
My mom showed off her skill of knowing me so well by saying, "I made another cake to send home with you tomorrow. Lula, have some more."
Thank God! I could officially enjoy my dessert sans Alex there to gripe at me, and without having to worry about not getting enough of my cherished cake.
After four pieces for Lula and two and a half for me, we made our way to my old bedroom. Lula hung up five different outfits for me to choose from.
I was thanking my lucky stars Grandma wasn't here to try and join us since she'd already left with her date. She'd been in such a great mood earlier; I know she would have weaseled her way into going with us. There's only so much of a defense I could put out.
All the items Lula brought were spandex. Oh man. This was going to be an adventure. Of course I couldn't expect her to bring any regular colors. No black, no white—not even silver.
We had florescent orange. Nope—not wearing that one.
Yellow. Again, no!
Settling on a soft pink, I was absolutely astonished to see the spandex fit me. Holy miracle of fashion!
"You've worn this recently?" I asked Lula as we headed to pick up Connie and then off to the bar.
"Hell yeah I have. Just picked it up from the dry cleaners yesterday. I gotta say, you look alright but it's obvious the fit was made for a woman of my size."
"Yeah, you pull this off way better than I can." The dress was super clingy, just Lula's style. It was like wearing saran wrap. How did Lula pull this off every day and hunt FTA's? It boggled the mind.
Connie promised to supply the shoes since we wore the same size. They were a simple, strappy, metallic silver set of heels. I slipped them on when we arrived at Marty's Place.
It was a bar and grille that catered to the NASCAR crowd and picked up generally after nine o'clock. We were to wait for Ranger's call and then move in.
We arrived shortly after ten, hanging out at Connie's and coming up with a game plan, until we heard from Ranger that Darren Olea, the target, was there with four of his best friends.
Meeting with Ranger and Tank outside, we all huddled together.
"He's pretty harmless, but I need you all to be as alert as possible." He looked pointedly at all three of us. "We don't want you to take any unnecessary risks. If this goes as well as I hope it will, we should have this done in fifteen minutes."
"Fifteen minutes!" I shouted and then covered my mouth. "I haven't done anything like this in years!"
"Relax, Babe. You'll do fine. Just go with the flow, and be yourself. You do those two things, and I'll bet in fifteen minutes you guys can start your girls' night out." He smiled and gave me reassuring hug. It felt friendly. I knew he sensed the change in our dynamics when he gave me a very small, sad smile.
"Okay, you ready?" I asked Connie and Lula, trying to get myself pumped up.
"Hell yea!" Lula said.
"You know it; I need a drink, ASAP," agreed Connie.
"Let's do this," I said, marching into the bar and shaking off as much nervous energy as I could.
Marty's place shut down the kitchen at ten every night. so it was nothing but drinks flowing when we found a booth. I slowly scanned the room, until I found Darren and company in a booth three over from ours.
"He's right there. Lula, are you ready?"
"Girlfriend! I was born ready. Watch my drunk walk."
Off Lula went, playing drunk, teetering on her six-inch heels and wobbling all over like a fool. Exactly what we needed.
She 'lost her balance', tripped and fell face first into one of the friend's laps. "Ohhhhhhh mmy gosh! I am sssssso sssoorrrryyyy," She apologized, acting drunk and slurring.
In came Connie for the rescue.
"What are you doing, Danette? Get off this man," Connie said, helping Lula off his lap and showing off her miles of cleavage while bent over. "I am so sorry for my friend. She can't hold her liquor for a darn thing," she said in the sweetest voice, eyelashes batting.
And the men were hooked. Maybe Ranger had been right. We'd only been there five minutes.
"Not a problem little ladies," friend one said while staring at Connie's boobs. "Why don't you let us buy you a drink?"
Before she could answer, I came tumbling over. "There you are!" I said, louder than necessary. "Why'd ya leave me alone at the table? I want company tooooo. Come on guys. I wanna dance!" I whined, doing my own drunken impersonation. I locked eyes with Darren and licked my lips, "How about you be my partner?" I said, pointing right at him. My ease at being forward was frightening, but it was just what the doctor had ordered.
Darren gave me a leering look and then punched friend two, "Move outta my way. This fine lady wants to dance." The two men scooted out of the booth.
We made our way onto the dance floor. I was being obnoxious, tripping all over myself and then doing a stupid girl giggle. I was making myself sick.
We were dancing out on the floor to some twangy, country song. Not moving in two-step beats or however you're supposed to dance to country. I felt his disgusting arousal in his pants near my arm. I was ready to get this show on the road, and I was sure he was too.
Lowering my voice and making sure to put extra air in my words without spitting all over him—much as I wanted to—I leaned near his ear and said, "I'm done with dancing. What are your plans for the rest of the night?"
"Hmmmm, anything you want, sexy."
I winked, and he pulled me over to the table.
"We're heading out. This should cover me," Darren said, putting thirty dollars on the table. I risked a quick look at Connie and Lula, and they were smiling ear to ear.
I waved goodbye to my friends, and out the front door we went.
We were twenty feet from the entrance when Ranger and a crew of men in black came out of nowhere to cuff and shackle Darren. I kept walking like nothing had happened.
Who takes home someone when they don't know their name? Gross!
I was waiting behind a parked car for the 'coast is clear' signal when Ranger found me.
"I said you could do it, didn't I?
I smiled at him. He always did have my back. "I guess you did."
"I have to bring him in but call me before you leave so you can pick up your check."
"It's okay. I have a pretty full day tomorrow. I'll send you my address."
He ruffled my hair and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "Later, Babe."
Before I could say 'Bye' he was off into the night. Everything with Ranger today had felt friendly. It made me believe we both were happy with those terms. Where we should have been long ago, I thought, regretfully. I'd be happy to stay this way if he'd allow it. It gave me hope I could do the same with Joe.
Heading back into the bar, I found the girls right where I'd left them.
Lula was legitimately snuggled up to one of Darren's friends, and Connie was in a deep conversation with another. Both had huge margaritas in front of them.
"Girl, you was fuckin' great. Ranger was right about you. That's why he picked you."
Lula's date looked from her to me, "What? Where's Darren? I thought you two was leavin' together?"
I gave Lula a look that said SHUT UP. She started fumbling for an answer, "Uh—she—uh—I."
"I lost him in the crowd. I thought I'd find him back here. Oh well, he probably found someone else to take home."
His friends grunted and nodded. Men!
"Hey, girlie! Ain't that your man over there with the blonde?" Lula was pointing out two people on the dance floor.
I squinted to try to get a better look. "Omigod."
"Holy shit! You see that bump 'n grind? That should be illegal."
"Shut up, Lula. I don't think that's him."
"Uh huh, oh yes it is," She said with her best head bob. How did her head not fall off? "You need to get your ass over there and give him a piece of your mind. I wouldn't be lettin' no man disrespect me in public like that. Huh uh. No way." More head bobbing. I was getting whiplash watching her.
"I said shut up, Lula!"
"She's right, Steph. You can't let him get away with that," Connie said.
It took them ten minutes to convince me to confront Alex, because it was him. For three of those ten minutes, he was in a solid, no holds barred, lip lock with Blondie McGee.
I went up and tapped on his shoulder. When they still hadn't come up for air, I cleared my throat. When they still hadn't parted, I punched his arm.
That got his attention.
"What the—" He turned to face me, and shock and horror abounded on his face.
"Find your own way to the airport. Don't come near me ever again."
I headed straight for the exit flanked by Connie and Lula.
"That there was disappointin'. I thought you were gonna punch Barbie's lights out," Lula exclaimed. Connie was smart enough to keeps her lips shut tight.
I was shaking with fury when we left, and it'd barely subsided by the time I was dropped off at my parent's house. With a final wave goodbye, I let myself into the house.
Shit! How was I going to get home? Alex had driven his car, and I was supposed take it back with me! Mine had been on the fritz, so I guess it was time to have my dad take me car shopping. There was no one better to ask the favor of.
I sent a little thank you 'upstairs' for everyone already having gone to bed. I made as little noise as possible since no one was expecting me to have come back.
No tears came that night. I was too angry to cry, and I was going to stay that way.
I awoke to the usual trash talking fight over the bathroom. I had to slip my robe on over Lula's borrowed outfit, since I hadn't bothered to change. Not that I could change into anything other than my clothes from yesterday. Alex had my bag. He could keep it for all I cared. It was shirts and pants he'd picked out. My makeup was replaceable.
I stepped out of my room and just about gave my grandmother a heart attack. She let out a yelp and jumped.
"Sorry Grandma. I didn't mean to scare you." I stifled a laugh because the look on her face was just too funny.
"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the hotel."
"Long story," I replied.
"You can tell me." She perked up. Gossip. Yay—not.
"It's complicated."
"Must be a doozy then, since the last time I heard you say that was when you were in Haw…" Her voice trailed off as I made my way downstairs.
Mom was already cooking breakfast. She looked at me, shook her head and took two coffee cups out of the cabinet. Bringing over the cups and coffee decanter, she sat next to me.
"This is what I wanted—you to be here in the morning. To what do I owe the privilege?"
"Cliff's notes version is all you're getting, and you don't get to ask any questions," I stated my terms.
She pursed her lips and then nodded affirmation.
I took a deep breath, knowing that after I was finished she'd bombard me with questions. Letting it out, I began, "Alex was out with a friend last night, but it wasn't the type of friend I was thinking. He's on his own now, and I need a car."
"I didn't like him anyway. I saw him for an hour, and I wanted to beat him with my meat mallet." She crossed herself. "I don't even want to do that to Albert. Eat breakfast and your father will take you shopping. This job pays well, so you can get a decent car."
My mouth was agape. I couldn't shut it. When I tried, it was on the floor in seconds. She'd said nothing to indicate this was my fault. Nothing about how I should go groveling back to him. Nothing.
"Good for you, Stephanie. I didn't like him the first time I met him. I just didn't want to hurt your feelings. Plus sitting across from Officer Hot Ass was a better view," Grandma Mazur chimed in, making sure her opinion was heard.
I ate a full breakfast with my family, and then my dad and I went car shopping.
He refused to go to a used car lot or a foreign car manufacturer. Citing all the various cars I'd owned that had broken down on me because they weren't American made or were old, we found the perfect car for me at the Chevrolet dealership.
I gave him a kiss goodbye and said I'd call as soon as I got back to Philly.
On the drive in my beautiful new car, I started pondering the future. The game had officially changed. What did I want? What did I need?
I should've been upset about what had happened. But I wasn't. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had begun to feel suffocated by Alex. Every time I'd see him, he'd bring another 'gift' of a new outfit, each more preppy and conservative than the last. Not my style. Then there was the nagging.
Sit up a little straighter.
Slow down when you eat.
You're drawing attention.
Are you really putting that in your mouth? That means thirty more minutes on the treadmill after you've done the stair climber.
If it weren't for catching Alex being a stupid man, I'd be riding the high off of two successful apprehensions on my drive home. Instead I felt embarrassed— like plain old crap. Not only had I been cheated on again, I was realizing I'd let Alex change me.
I'd promised myself to give our relationship a real shot, but it wasn't worth the anger and embarrassment I'd experienced. While I hadn't given him a chance to explain, had I really needed to? Fuck my self-imposed rule!
I needed Joe.
That's it! Monday after work I'd call Joe. But I needed a reason. Dinner? In or out? Hmmm…I could make Joe dinner! Show him my new skills. Show him I'm something different now. But what would get him over to my house? Bob! I needed to hear about Bob. Maybe I could take Bob. I had a backyard.
Okay, it wasn't the greatest plan, but I had a plan and I was determined. I'd figure out the rest later.