Evolution:

Disclaimer: Percy Jackson Belongs to Rick Riordian

The criminal mind evolves. From the early cave thieves who robbed people of their Dino Money and got beaten up by the Powerpuff Girls to modern super criminals, who can breathe underwater and record deals. I shall join their ranks, by evolving extremely fast, into this modern world, until I surpass all who came before me. But first, a snack.

I was sitting outside the Big House, idly waiting for Mr.D to analyze my forms and put the broken pieces together and realize that I, Presumes Brain Jackson am a occasional social smoker. It may be hard, but his keen intellect, and driving determination will-

"Sup Pursy!" said Grover, the G man. "I heard you become a criminal."

"Yes Grover." I said, crossing my leg like most stuffy criminals do. "I am, as they say, a lawless brigand. You may, if you wish, turn your face away in disgust."

Grover grinned like only a modern version of a race of perverted sex fiends can. "Nah man. I'm in a gang myself! I wanted to ask if you wanted to join!"

"You're in a gang?" I asked. Mind you, it makes sense. Back in our old dorms, when ever I and the cool kids started masturbating he would never removes his pants. It was suspicious…..

" Yeah! The grover street og's!" He said, with a grin. "I made a humorous statement that had no basis in fact. We're in fact called Gang."

That's also weird…..he never showered with us or changed when we were to play athletics or cricket or whatever…..but he did emotionally support me when Annabeth left me for Jeff the school jock….. "Where did you get the name?" I asked one eyedly.

"Well, you know how many Antichrists and Punk Rock lead singers have dog's called Dog? We took inspiration from their genius and sculpted our name from a modified version of their idea." Said Grover.

Was Annabeth even in my school with Grover? I think it was an all boy school……but why did that red haired chick always bother me…..maybe she was into me….but how did she get into an all boy school? Wait….was my enemy friends with Annabeth? Ohhhhh……maybe they had sexy time in the girls dorm….. "Ok cool man." I said, trying to stop the ensuing mental movie to form in my head. "What's your gang name?"



"Man G!" said Grover proudly. "See, it sounds like mangy, which is a reference to my very hairy legs and large toenails which also look like hoofs." HA HA HA HA. Sorry. Computers are too funny.

"So, are we gonna go meet this gang called Gang or what?" I asked, putting my pants back on.

"Sure!" said the G man, or Man G. "We meet inside the girls bathrooms every two hours in the hope that one day we'll figure out when they shower."

"Brilliant." I said. "But how do mortals get inside Camp Half Blood?" As you may have noticed…..I, a true criminal have shattered my own libido to maximize my criminal effectiveness.

"Percy, don't ask stupid questions which contain logic." Said Man G. "You are a part of Gang now, and will now longer be a slave to logic or gravity or the humor of computers or what not."

"Cool." Said stepping, inside of the rather crowded bathroom. "Hey who's that fat overweight Asian guy with glasses in a wheel chair who looks like Chiron?"



"That's Chiron." Said Man G. "He started eating a diet of dust after watching this weird show and really let his physical appearance go after that."

I however, did not hear him. In my haste of awesomeness I mistook Chiron for Santa Clause and sat on his lap. "Heya Santa." I said. "Can you perhaps tell me if my old school was an all boy school?"

"I'm Chiron you….you…..you Noodleneck!" yelled Santa angrily.

"Then why do you look Asian?" I asked.

" I started reading Manga." Said Clause Chiron.

"Oh ok. Can I have some Death Note manga this year please? Except for some minor offences I have been a vewy good boy." I said.

"Get off my god damn lap." Said Chiron, pushing me so I hit the hard tiles with a thump. Wut put put put.

I stood up blearily and buttoned my shirt. Remember kids, always make that extra effort to ensure Santa likes you. "Hey who's that guy in the corner eating doughnuts?" I asked.

"That's Rod the undercover policeman." Said Man G. Meanwhile Rod, made a disgusted face and spat the doughnut out.

"Wow. Is he weight watching or something?" asked Chiron, wheelchair rolling closer.

"No he has self worth issues." Says Grover. "He wanted to be a cop or something but he can't so he joins gangs and pretends to be an undercover cop."

"That sounds fun." I said. "But why are you, me, Chiron and Rod the only people here?"

"If he waits suspiciously in my room for twenty hours in the hopes that I will catch him be suspicious in my room one more time….oh sorry what?" asked Grover.

"Only our core people are here." Said Chiron. "For we are planning the greatest robbery of all time!"

" What are we planning to steal, which is the likes of which the world has never known!" screamed Rod, really loudly. "I shall write it down and maybe talk to some police officers in a completely unsuspicious 

way! Do not tail me, in a way that suggests you doubt my loyalties, for it is unnesscery!"

" Your continued loyalty and academicals brilliance is an inspiration to us all!" said Chiron. "FOR WE ARE ROBBING THE GODS THEMSELVES AT OLYMPUS!"

"Excellent!" I said, glad that my connection with grover has yelled such delicious fruit. "What are we stealing from them?"

"WE ARE STEALING….." said Chiron. "THE GODS THEMSELVES. AND WE SHALL KEEP THEM…." He took out a small cardboard box. "IN THIS BOX!"

"Oops!" said Ron, ripping open his shirt. "What are all these wires on my body? I have no idea. Nor what this BADGE!" he yelled taking out a police badge, "Is. Oh deary me."

"Do some research." Suggested Man G. "Is this robbery on?" he asked, grinning.

"It's on." I said.