Chapter 6: Feel Alive
Disclaimer: I own several things...however, I do not own Primeval or Torchwood. If I did, bad things would happen. Both Primeval and Torchwood belong to the BBC and their respective creators. I make absolutely no money off this.
Spoilers: Torchwood spoilers for all seasons. Primeval spoilers for seasons 2 and 3, maybe some for season 4. Takes place during Torchwood season 2 and Primeval season 4.
Completely AU.
Author's Note: I would like to start out with a brief apology. I had lost my inspiration for my work. Upon re-reading the former 6th chapter, I decided it was shit. I couldn't stand it, but didn't know where to go next. If you have been following this fic, and still enjoy it, thank you. It took me reading the reviews to get back in the game. I thank you all, and hope that you enjoy this revision of the 6th chapter.
Oh, Captain! My Captain!
Chapter 6: Feel Alive
He tried to focus on the body beneath him, he really did. Yet, all he could think about was how wrong everything was. Not just the day, no. The hair was too long, not dark enough, to warm a shade of brown. The eyes were a dusky green; not the flaring blue he so desperately wished for. There were no smooth planes of muscle. Instead, firm curves encased in white lingerie. He couldn't handle removing it in fear of destroying his illusion. Soft breasts, trim stomach, a wet puss. No avoiding that. Vaginal walls gave way to easily. They would never grip him tightly enough; never scorch him in heavenly heat. She had come, more than her share. He just kept pounding into her; searching for release he knew would never truly come. As her arms reached to embrace him, he took them in one fist and held them to the quaking desk beneath. Finally, finally the clenching was almost right, her surging orgasm coating her insides in wet warmth. It was just enough.
"Ianto!"
Only a few spurts and his flaccid member was begging for more. Begging for the real thing. He pulled up his trousers, placing the suspenders over his shoulders, and left her to gather herself.
"What do I tell Rhys?"
"Whatever you told him when you and Owen were fucking, I guess."
…
As the weeks progress, Ianto had been trained and cleared for weapons use. And Ianto loved fieldwork. During his time at Torchwood, he had largely been the office dogs' body. It was "fetch this", and "fetch that". No, nothing compared to the rush of working amidst the action, rather than hearing about it later. Running through marsh, herding a Labyrinthodont back through an anomaly; it his skin on fire. Driving him with adrenaline. Acting as the ultimate aphrodisiac. Needless to say, Becker loved when Ianto went into the field too. All the way back to the ARC, Abby sat amused in the passenger seat, watching as her captain had a lapful of grimy, sweaty boyfriend. Conner simply drove on, trying to keep the moans and whispers from his ears.
"Oi! Don't make me separate you two! Save it till we get back!"
"Conner!"
"Well if I don't get it right now they don't either! 'Snot fair," the scientist pouted.
Begrudgingly, Ianto eradicated himself. "No one was getting 'IT'." The Welshman proclaimed. "We haven't gotten that far."
He neglected telling his teammates that the two had been far from innocent, however. After all, they were still grown men. They had just gotten to the point of showering together; something Ianto always looked forward to; that and sleeping in the same bed.
Abby broke through his thoughts. "We'll be back to the ARC soon enough love. And we've each got our own office."
Becker's nose wrinkled into Ianto's neck, tickling him. "Just step on it Conner."
"Right oh!"
Pink heat radiated from Ianto's skin even half and hour after his shower. It never ceased to impress him how the ARC seemed to have an endless supply of hot water. His back-up suit clung, malformed with heat. He tried not to focus on that as Becker wrapped him up in a gentle tongue kiss.
"Feel better love?" Ianto simply nodded and relaxed against his lover. "Good, because I have a present for you."
His eyes lit up. Being with Becker had been a whirlwind of new experiences, coming from such a one-sided relationship. For the first time, he was with someone who took pleasure in just him. Lisa had never failed to tell him that he needed to work harder, to provide for her better if he was to be her husband. Jack only took, and took, and took; until there was nothing left. This made him insistent to take it slow. Becker had agreed, and come through in spades. Now he, Ianto Jones, was the one being pampered and worshiped. It felt surreal.
"What is it?" He asked excitedly.
With a smile, Becker pulled an envelope, addressed to 'My Yan', from his cargo pocket. Opening it, he was bewildered to find a key, and a small slip of paper.
"It's a spare to my apartment. I know living with Conner and Abby, they're a couple and you've told me how you can feel like the third wheel. Well, I want you to be around, even when I'm not there."
Ianto bit his lip to keep from smiling at his boyfriends rambling. "And the paper?"
Becker blushed. "My name. Lester knows, and so does Conner. But not because I told them. You're the only person I'll have told, in the ARC, ever. And-"
A barely there kiss stopped his babbling. "It's a wonderful present. Thank you Cariad."
"Jones!"
Ianto let out a quiet Welsh curse at the interruption. "Yes?"
He turned to address a seasoned soldier. "Lester wants you in his office, right away sir."
"I will be there shortly, thank you." He turned to his love. "Duty calls."
As he watched Ianto's retreating back, Becker whispered what he had kept bottled up. "I love you."
Meanwhile at Torchwood, Owen was going bonkers. Tosh was still ignoring the sole night they had shared, and the beautiful Martha Jones wasn't making it easier. She had strode in, a welcome distraction, that he couldn't distract himself with seeing as how she was engaged. And the mayflies. All the damned mayflies. God, how he hated bugs.
He wasn't with his own head for long. Tosh shot from her desk, running straight to Jack's office. Few seconds later the two were bolting down the stairs, Jack's face that of a man possessed.
"Right over the Pharm; less than a quarter kilo up!"
Jack smiled, something the team had not seen in a while, before running to his office to 'make calls'.
"Tosh, what's 'e on about now?" Owen walked to her station and his jaw dropped. On her screen was an anomaly, right above Pharm Pharmaceuticals.
A myriad of papers were laid neatly across Lester's desk. Ianto quickly reviewed them, brow furrowing in confusion.
"What do you make of this, Mr. Jones?"
"Well sir, they take pride in lying, for a start."
Lester twirled a pen in his fingers. "Care to elaborate, Mr. Jones?"
There was more than Lester was telling him, that Ianto was sure. "Sir, I simply mean the promises to cure diseases such as hepatitis, AIDS, HIV, diabetes; they promise the impossible.""
"We have several creatures in this very facility that are meant to be impossible."
"Existing at one point or another and stuck in the wrong place. The figures of these reports don't make sense. And this?" Ianto tapped a scattering of letters on the page. "That is the chemical formula for baking soda. Not a cure for diabetes."
"Which is probably why the 'cured' patients keep dropping dead." Ianto gave him a confused look. "A Captain Jack Harkness rather relentlessly called me this morning."
Fingers clenched into fists. "What does he have to do with anything?"
Lester noticed. Of course he noticed. "Their team spotted an anomaly above the facility and has called us in. Tell everyone to pack. You are going to Cardiff."
So, where is he?
He's not here, but he's coming.
Is he everything you wouldn't shut up about?
That and more, Martha Jones.
It was Ianto that led the three-vehicle convoy across the nearly three-hour journey. His truck only contained him and Becker, and was silent the entire time. It hadn't even been four months. Jack had wasted no time trying to find some way to reel him back in. Becker had allowed his hand to be clutched the entire way, fighting the prickly numbness as the lack of blood caused it to fall asleep. After a quick stop at the hotel the ARC team made their way to the Plass.
Tosh bounced enthusiastically as the black trucks drove towards the tourist office. Ianto was the first to reach her, sweeping her into a firm embrace. The fullness of him was not lost on her; his weight had drastically diminished during Jack's absence. Though still not where he had been, it was clear that he had been taking care of himself better now.
"Gods have I missed you Tosh," Ianto remarked fondly as he pulled away. "Our nightly calls are not enough." He pushed a loud kiss to her cheek.
"I know, Yan. I know." She turned to his new teammates. "You lot get the tourist entrance. Step lively."
Tosh waved as Ianto led the main ARC crew to the perception filter, while the soldiers followed her through the tourist's office. Abby's fear of heights had her up in Conner's arms as they descended, looking on in awe. Myfanwy seemed to know her favorite human had returned and unfortunately graced them with her shrill song.
"Oi! Teaboy!" As soon as the platform stopped the skinny medic engulfed Ianto, strong arms knocking out his wind. "You betta' 'ave a damn good explanation for not callin' me! Tosh an' me've been worried sick!"
Ianto laughed. "I'm sorry Owen, but I've called Tosh. Guess I should've known better."
"Too bloody right, mate! Call the ARC meself if I have to; they're workin' ya too 'ard."
"That won't be necessary," Becker interjected. "I'll try to remind him to call more often."
It was the first time that Owen had acknowledged anyone else had come down. "An' who're you?"
"Captain Becker, I'm-"
"He's my boyfriend."
Ianto hadn't been able to stop it from spilling out. He hadn't meant to cut Becker off, but knew that Owen would want to hear it from him. The cockney medic peered, rat-like, as though he were taking coffin measurements in his head. This continued for a few moments before he held out his hand to shake. Feeling he had just passed Owen's test, Becker brought his hand to the medic only to feel betrayed as the slighter man tugged him dangerously close.
"Now you listen 'ere, coz I'll only say it once. Teaboy's been through too much already. I have access to poisons that ain't even from this century, let 'lone this planet. We have a pet Weevil, an' Tosh 'as gott'n dead brilliant at hidin' bodies. So, I warn you now: hurt Yan, an' we'll hurt you."
Abby and Conner looked on in shocked amusement as Owen let Ianto away, complaining about Starbucks coffee. Immobilized with fear, Becker shivered before spotting Tosh and his soldiers. It was time to get to work.
Owen chatted with Ianto for several minutes before patting his back and returning to the med-bay. A pretty black woman he hadn't met before met Owen at the stairs and gave him a wave, which he returned. She seemed familiar in a sense. Gwen sneaking a hug on him interrupted the thought.
"Welcome back!" She exclaimed. Her toothy grin was genuine, he noticed. "I suppose no one gets far before crawling back; if Suzie coming back to life is any indication."
Maybe not genuine, he reconsidered. Maybe she had just learned to be a better liar; it must have been time with Jack. "Just visiting I'm afraid," a harmless half-lie.
"Well, if you change your mind, we always need our tea-boy," She smiled, and leaned in conspiratorially. "Jack needs fuel for the daily get about, you know?"
It was meant to be a joke. To her, it was. Ianto knew the smell of Jack's cologne all too well, and Gwen stank with it. A red bite on the side of her neck had been reflected in his mirror so many times – Jack really needed a new favorite place to bite.
But Jack had made him a good liar too. "I must have forgotten; Becker doesn't have that problem." Ianto briskly strode away, not knowing Becker followed.
…
"Stupid, rotten, bitch," Becker spat. His hand guided the damp towel in soothing circles across Ianto's face. "No right to make you feel like this. No fucking right. What happened love?"
Ianto molded to his light touch, his soldier blindly coming to defend him. The bile he had retched up was long gone, but still Becker soothed him. "Nothing, Cariad. Nothing that hasn't happened before."
"I don't believe that," he said, rewetting his cloth. "You don't upchuck for nothing. Hell, you don't upchuck even if it is something."
He smiled, remembering the unfortunate incident with Conner's cooking. "She just hit my sore-spot. I knew it was coming, didn't take him long." Ianto's eyes widened as he realized what he had just said. "Cariad, no, I'm not jealous. I promise."
"You think you could be replaced so easily?" Becker wasn't a stupid man. He understood Ianto's insecurities perhaps better than Ianto himself. He waited for his lover's brief nod before continuing.
"You, Ianto Jones, are one of a kind. There is no one as loving, or as compassionate as you. And if that-that beaver-woman thinks that she can even begin to substitute you, then she is mistaken."
Tossing the cloth in the trash, Becker took Ianto in his arms. "That captain is a fool if he thinks he's going to steal you away from me. He is the one that screwed himself over when he failed to treat you right."
Ianto could feel tears welling up once more, but blinked them away. "Thank you," he said in a small voice.
"Welcome love, now let's go. The sooner we finish this, the sooner we can bugger off."
…
Coffee was always the best distraction. Becker kissed his hand and left to get his team geared up; Ianto took it upon himself to revisit his old coffee machine. To his astonishment, it had remained unused, but with telltale signs of the area having been frequently cleaned.
"Wouldn't want you hunting me down if anything happened to it," came a laugh.
Praying it was just his imagination, Ianto turned slowly. Of course, he couldn't be that lucky. Behind him stood Jack, a weary smile on his face. To his dismay, Becker was loading the trucks on the Plass, and wasn't around to save him.
"It is no longer my job to worry about anything involving Torchwood, sir." He took a small step back.
"It could be," Jack whispered. "We're coping, yeah, but we need you." His tone lowered. "I need you."
"From what Gwen has told me you've been fine," he took a deep breath. "Besides, I like working at the ARC. I've made friends; I have a life there. I have Becker," Ianto smiled.
"Does he know what we were?" Jack glared.
His face turned stony. "He knows that I loved you, and he knows that I was your part-time shag," he spat. "Becker's good to me. He's good for me."
"That's bullshit," Jack took his arm. "I wasn't always perfect, but I did love you. I know it wasn't in your archaic, 21st century way, but I did."
Ianto retched his arm away. "I like my 21st century ways. I like knowing that the man I love is committed to me, that he won't come home smelling like cheap, bathroom cologne."
"Yan!"
"Jack?" A female voice interrupted. The two men turned to a woman in a lab coat. "We need to brief."
With one final look at Ianto, Jack answered. "We're coming, Martha."
All eyes were on them as they entered the conference room. Ianto took a free seat between Conner and Owen, while Becker took his customary stance against the wall, as if poised to attack. The way Jack was focusing on him, the presumption was not far off.
"This will be the first collaboration Torchwood has done outside its own forces. I trust everyone understands what is expected of them?" Jack boomed. Quiet nods and murmurs rang. "Good. Now, " the screen blinked on to show a young woman, covered in dead insects. "Former test subjects are dropping dead. This woman had been the only survivor. During examination, she seized and these little bastards popped out." Owen was now on the screen, holding what looked to be a mutated hybrid of wasp and fly. "Upon further surveillance we discovered an anomaly, right above The Pharm. We have reason to believe that it is where the mayflies, as we are calling them, come from."
"So we're just here to shut down the anomaly, capture the creatures?" Abby asked.
Jack nodded. "Torchwood will take down The Pharm. Clean and efficient."
"What about the patients?" Gwen asked. "Surely we should be doing something about them?"
Martha and Jack shared a look that was not lost on the other occupants of the room. "The patients at The Pharm hospice have already been infected. We can't do anything for them."
"Because you won't try!"
"Torchwood doesn't get happy endings!" Jack bellowed. "The moments these people were suckered into this mess they signed their own death certificates! From what Owen and Martha have gathered, these things are entered as larvae and eat everything until their host is dead. Then, they emerge fully grown. We cannot take the risk of these things getting out and infecting others."
"I agree with Jack," Martha spoke up. "All in favor?"
Hands went up around the room. The only hand down was Gwen's.
"So, I'm the only one who still thinks human life is worth anything?" She huffed.
From the corner of his eye, Ianto saw Conner flinch. "If these thing ge' ou', then mo'e people could die."
"Conner's right," Becker stated. "A few for the many."
It was no surprise when Gwen stormed from the room.
"Anyone else?" Jack called. The room remained still. "Then we need a reconnaissance plan, someone to go in and report on the inner workings. The more information we have, the fewer chances for fatalities. Do I have a volunteer?"
"I'll go," Ianto didn't hesitate.
"Absolutely not," Becker came from behind to lay a hand on his shoulder.
"Seconded," came from Jack.
"Third!" Conner shrieked.
Ianto rolled his eyes. "I have a photographic memory and could hack their systems from the inside. Not to mention history. After Canary Wharf, doctor's were dying to get their hands on survivors. Why not just play that up?"
"Because they would kill you on sight, love!" Becker shouted. "Or if they didn't and tried to experiment? I won't have it."
"I think you'll find that Ianto can make his own decisions," Jack interjected.
The two men exchanged glares. "I don't want him going in blind. A minute ago you were agreeing with that."
"Look, all I'm saying is that when Ianto makes up his mind, there's no changing it. No matter how much you want to."
"I'm with Captain Dino-" Owen piped. "Sorry mate, but it's too risky for ya that way."
"Fine," he conceded. "Then what do you lot suggest."
Matt, who had been characteristically silent chimed in. "The ARC is here to disable the anomaly and contain the creatures. That is it. Torchwood will handle the inner workings of The Pharm. Are we agreed Captain Harkness?"
"Perfectly."
"Then I go in," Martha declared. "I am a doctor, I would be able to identify anything shady, provide an accurate diagnosis. Tosh can create a false persona for me to go in as a patient."
"And how is this different to what I suggested?" Ianto argued.
"Because love," Becker whispered. "I get to keep you safe."
Matt had closed the anomaly, Conner and Abby had the creatures. Suddenly, everyone was racing. A gun- Torchwood needed back-up. And then the noise. Why the blasting noise?
"OWEN!"
The doctor was consumed with agony. Fire, he was being flayed and lit on fire! Tosh hovered over him, whimpering, "I loved you, Owen."
The world was black.
Coffee, that's what everyone needed. Hot, soul-saving coffee, to keep their minds off the covered form on the table. Ianto brewed each cup special, taking time to anticipate everyone's needs. Each person met him for their cup and dispersed. Becker curled Ianto to him. "Do you want to go?"
The slighter man nodded, Tosh's cries resounding in his ears were agony. "Let me go wash up, I'll meet you in our room."
Becker placed tender kiss on his lover's forehead before leading him out of the hub. He knew blue eyes were watching his every move. Ianto had to get away from this madness. Away from Jack.
…
Soft waterfall echoed from the bathroom for a second time as he ripped the match across the flint. Becker put the finishing touches on the table. Two cinnamon scented candles stood valiantly between matching plates of grilled chicken, buttery noodles and a small portion of fruit salad. Chocolate cheesecake waited patiently in the refrigerator along with a bottle of sweet, strawberry champagne. Room service had been prompt enough for his to change, and he adjusted his tie in the hall mirror a third time. The gorgeous, emerald silk completed his emergency suit, and he was excited for Ianto to be the first person to see him in it.
Though the day had taken a turn for the worse, Becker was determined to bring light to his lover's day. The loss of Owen, who his lover knew Ianto saw as a brother, had rattled the Welshman to his core. Yet, his lover stood strong for those around him, and Becker wanted one night, one perfect night, for Ianto to be cherished through his hurt.
The shower turning off sent Becker into a scramble. After quickly double-checking the dinner as well as his appearance, Ianto came from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and gasped. He stood, lost for words, as his eyes traveled up and down his boyfriend.
Ianto shifted, his face flushing. "What's all this?"
"Dinner," he said simply.
The candlelight caught Ianto's attention immediately. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought to how he never would have had this with Jack.
Becker's face dropped. "Oh shit. Sorry. Sorry. Um, we could go for that new Italian place you've wanted to try? Or, fuck-"
He was cut off as Ianto caught him in a kiss.
"No! It's perfect. Just let me dress."
Becker turned his back for his lover's privacy, and was not disappointed when only a few minutes later, Ianto's hand on his shoulder turned him, revealing an catching crimson silk shirt, donned underneath a perfectly tailored black suit and black tie. It would never cease to amaze him how swiftly the younger man could perfectly don a suit.
Becker quickly moved to pull out his chair, kissing Ianto's cheek as he was seated. They ate in tranquil silence, occasionally remarking on the food or each other. Ianto had to laugh when Becker, noticing his lover only daintily enjoying his meal, piled a hearty serving of fruit onto his own spoon and held it to Ianto's lips, remarking he would need his strength for later. Going pink, Ianto took the bite and delivered a soft kiss to Becker's mouth.
Nearing the end, Becker took their plates and bent for the creamy dessert stowed away in the fridge. "I didn't know what kind you liked, but I figured-" He never finished his sentence. Ianto appeared before him, usually clear eyes dark and lust blown. He took his lover by the tie and led him down into a passionate kiss. The two men wasted no time exploring the other's mouth. Becker's grip shot to Ianto's back, clawing him closer. As though there was somewhere else he wanted to be. Belts and pants went first, before either man truly realized how fast they were moving. The friction, the delicious friction, though, erased any of those cares.
Together they tumbled onto the bed, stripping each other of their remaining layers. Becker tugged helplessly at Ianto's tie as the younger man had already stripped him of most of his clothes. The silk proved a worthy enemy until Ianto snatched it from around his neck and rolled on top of his lover. A battle of tongues was declared as they ground together, moaning as the engorged cocks sought friction.
Ianto whimpered as his lover drew back, flushed and panting. "You're so beautiful, Ianto." He kissed down, mapping the Welshman's pale skin with his lips before coming face to face with his erection and licked from perineum to tip, lapping at the pooling pre-come. He kissed back down to Ianto's scrotum, sucking the testicles before kissing back up. Taking the angry, red crown in his mouth he alternated sucks and licks. When Ianto's hands came to his hair, Becker pulled away.
The soldier pulled off and pinned his hands to the bed. "Do I need to tie you up?"
"Maybe next time, sir," he licked the shell of Becker's ear before whispering, "but right now I need you hard."
Becker captured his next moan in a fierce kiss, biting Ianto's bottom lip as he pulled away. He placed three fingers at the younger man's lips, resuming when Ianto sucked the digits in. His pliant tongue nearly made Becker forget the task at hand as he grappled the bedside table for lube. With lube in hand he pressed Ianto's hips into the bed before swallowing the heavy cock down to its root. Ianto cried out as Becker reclaimed his hand from Ianto's ministrations and slid the first finger inside.
Their bodies melded together as the next finger slid beside the other. Bucking against the intrusion, Ianto was coming undone at the seams.
"Cariad, now. I want you now!"
Becker brought their lips together. "Almost, love. Just one more. Hold on."
"N-no. I want to feel it. Please!"
"It'll hurt," he panted. Truthfully, he didn't know if he could handle taking the man he loved so roughly.
"It's ok," Ianto kissed him. "I trust you."
That did it. The Welshman had said the magic words. Becker slid on both a condom and lube before he gripped his dick tight and led it to Ianto's furled entrance. The crown had barely passed the first tight ring of muscle before the younger man wrapped his legs around his soldier. Becker fought to control himself as chaffed heels his dug into his backside, pushing him further in. He clenched his teeth as he moved his hips in short, shallow thrusts. Ianto cried out as his lover nudged his prostate, finally balls deep inside.
The only thought he could process was, 'holy shit'.
Lack of preparation had made his partner tighter than he had felt before, creating an almost painful tug on the head of his erection, but Ianto's moans surged his hips faster. The heels forced him deeper. Bruises were welling on Becker's biceps as Ianto clung for dear life. The brutal pace sent the younger man rutting against his lover's abdomen. Becker pulled his arse into his lap, aversion to roughness forgotten.
"Scream for me, Yan," he grunted. "Tell me what you want!"
"Beck! Becker! Please, I'm so close!" His eyes were screwed shut. Heat was pooling in his stomach as Becker massaged his prostate with deafening precision. Ianto's walls were quivering around him, almost too much to take.
"Oh, god...Ia-Ianto! Oh! Fuck! I love you!"
Ianto's eyes flew open in alarm. "You love me?"
His movements stopped as he stared into the eyes of his lover. Petrified, he let out a small, "yes".
A tearing Ianto pushed Becker away and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "Don't lie to me. That's not fair," he muttered.
The soldier shifted to hug the younger man from behind. "It's not a lie. I've been trying to tell you; I really have." He kissed his lover's neck. Sobs were wrenching through Ianto's body and the defeated Becker held him tight. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry-I'm so, so sorry."
Holding in his own tears he attempted to move from the bed only to have Ianto grab his hand.
"You really mean it?"
Becker crouched before him and placed a soft kiss on their entwined hands. "With everything I am."
Their eyes locked for a few moments, as if Ianto was forcing through any walls hiding a lie. He shuffled to his knees and pulled the older man to him, framing his face to envelope him in a warm kiss.
"Show me?"
Becker eased Ianto to his back before lying beside him, one arm propping him up and the other holding Ianto close. He leaned in to smooth his lips over his lovers. A breathy moan escaped him as Ianto's tongue pressed against his bottom lip. Becker opened his lips for Ianto's tongue to tangle with his own. They took turns licking and sucking before Ianto moved to press kisses along Becker's neck, to his chest; taking time to flick and suck each nipple, down the soldier's taunt abdomen; tracing the contours of the muscles that he had lusted for since their first encounter. Becker made no move to force him. Instead he clawed at the sheets, using every ounce of his resolve not to buck his hips as Ianto carefully peeled away the condom and tossed it aside.
"Yan-"
"I want you," Ianto stated as he straddled his lover. Silent tears tracked down his cheeks. "Everything. I want to be selfish; just for a little bit. I want to love you. I do love you." He held Becker's face in his hands as he lowered himself on the uncovered erection.
Without the condom to dull the sensations they felt everything together. The tightness and heat magnified in their bellies. Becker sat up, wrapping his arms around the younger man and looking straight into his eyes. As he thrust into the burning sleeve of Ianto's channel the two never lost eye contact.
"I'm selfish," Ianto cried between pants. "I'm selfish and broken and I love you."
Becker wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "I don't care that you're broken. And you aren't selfish for wanting what you deserve, even though you deserve better than me. I love you. I love you and I will never leave you," he confessed. He knew the source of Ianto's insecurities and was going to make damn sure he knew how much he truly meant those words.
The tender thrusts were becoming too much for their over-sensitized bodies. As Becker felt his balls tighten against the younger man's ass he encased his lover's member in his large hand. With a shout they came, Ianto's seed shooting between their chests. He held Becker close as the older man pulsed into his body, coating his insides. Becker lifted Ianto off and laid him out, flopping beside him. He pulled their bodies together and trailed his hand down. His cock gave a valiant twitch as cum oozed from Ianto's spasming hole.
"Cariad?"
"Hmm?" Becker lifted Ianto's hand to his lips.
"Say it again?" He pleaded.
Cupping his lover's cheek, he whispered, "I love you, Ianto Jones."
The other man nuzzled contently into his arms. "And I love you," He paused to giggle. "Hilary Becker."
Becker grinned and raised the blankets around them, pulling his lover close as they drifted off to sleep.
"You have reached Ianto Jones. I am unable to answer at the moment, but if you leave me a brief message I will get back to you."
It was inconsiderate, but Jack needed to hear his voice. That's as far as he got. Just listening to the voicemail over and over. Listen, hang up. It wasn't anything really, but he would take what he could get.
He had rung multiple times, knowing that the man he loved was busy loving someone else. Until, he answered.
"Hello?"
Jack slammed the phone down and jumped away; effectively spilling his scotch. Ianto was smart; he would more than likely trace the number. Having to go through all that work would only upset him. So Jack rang again.
"Are you going to respond, or just hang up like a good stalker?"
"I-it," he took a deep breath. "It's me Yan."
He heard a groan on the other side. "It's nearly three in the morning Jack, what do you want?"
You. But Jack couldn't say that. "Owen died tonight," he replied thickly.
"You don't need to remind me. I was there."
"I know," he sighed, struggling for the right words. "I know I just- Owen was dead and now he's not."
A loud clatter-the phone dropping, the mattress moving, a 'Ianto, what's wrong?'. "What did you do, Jack?"
"I couldn't, I can't lose anyone else Ianto. I lost you. I can't lose Owen too."
"Jack! What have you done?"
"Gloves come in pairs."
A dial tone met his ears as he broke down, and wept.