Five: Merely Players

Klu's stomach roiled and complained most vociferously as he scanned the channels he would need to monitor for the length of the operation. He was torn about which was worse: the feed from the LEP helmet cams or the one from Artemis's iris cam. Each jolted and swayed in a manner which Klu found most unpleasant to watch.

Groaning, Klu swallowed hard as Fowl's iris cam feed swung upwards, allowing for a good look at the Phonetix R&D building. It was less than imposing on the outside, appearing no more than a low-level office building and giving no clue to the labs burrowed deep into the ground.

"It has been a while, hasn't it, Holly?" Fowl mused as they stood before the edifice – or rather as he stood and she hovered nearby, shielded.

"This is no time to reminisce. Are you ready?" Glancing at Captain Short's helmet feed, Klu had a view of Fowl. His suit was neatly pressed and his face was clean-shaven, nothing like the slightly scruffy figure of last night.

Fowl glanced down at the briefcase clasped in his hand. A handcuff peeked out from his sleeve and connected to the case's handle. "A bit over dramatic, don't you think? Especially given the self-destruct mechanism."

"I'm sure Foaly's not planning to maim you, Artemis." A pause. "Almost sure. In any case it's time to go."

They crossed the street and walked into the lobby of the Phonetix building. "I have an appointment to see Dr. Grenham," Artemis announced. It took only moments for the security guard to check Artemis's credentials.

A minute or so later the doctor himself, a middle-aged man with a mop of salt and pepper hair, joined them. He adjusted the pair of square glasses perched on his nose as he approached Fowl. "Mr. Fowl, welcome," he said, shaking the younger man's hand and then showing him the way to his office.

Klu took his eyes off the swaying cam feeds for a moment to check in with Foaly. "Are you getting all this, sir?"

"Got it, Suspean. My team's on the move. Keep your eyes on your own team."

"Yes, sir."

Fowl had made it to Grenham's office, invisible escort in tow. They took a seat on either side of a glass and steel desk with matching chairs and Fowl swung the briefcase onto his lap. Grenham adjusted his glasses again, eyes hovering over the case. "So you have something to show me, then? I had to clear my schedule to see you so I very much hope it'll be worth my while."

"And indeed it shall." Fowl made a show of turning away from Grenham in order to key in the code on his cuffs and on the briefcase before laying it out on the doctor's desk and swinging it open.

Grenham peered into the case and then adjusted his glasses once more. "You've brought me... an iPod Touch?"

A cold smile touched Fowl's lips. "Hardly, doctor. This is a prototype of my own design. A communications device so advanced it will make your latest Phonetix designs look like a telegraph machine." It was in fact a stripped down version of a fairy communicator – and an old model at that – but it would be easily ten years ahead of anything Phonetix had in the making.

Grenham leaned back into his chair. "I'm listening, Mr. Fowl."

"The device allows for standard communication functions of course, providing both audio and visual, but it is highly adaptable and will work in all regions. And, of course, it allows for wireless interface with any home computer, media, or software regardless of format." Grenham was starting and a fleeting thought passed through Klu's mind about Fowl's apparent ability to entrance people.

"How?"

"A special Rosetta software of my own creation. It can adapt to and read anything. Naturally it can perform all the standard functions people expect these days: organise your schedule, manage all your accounts, pick up television and internet signals, play MP3s. The works, doctor."

For a long moment there was silence. Grenham's eyes were wide. "Mr. Fowl that's..." He adjusted his glasses. "If that prototype can really do what you say, it could replace nearly every media device out there and put Phoentix leaps and bounds ahead of the competition. But tell me this, why would you choose our company?"

Fowl's smile was that of a predator about to leap upon its prey. "Because, Doctor Grenham, I'm currently in control of 27.5% of Phonetix's stock."

Grenham blanched. "But how did you–"

"These are the accounts in question," Fowl said, calling up the information on his prototype. "All subsidiaries of Fowl Enterprises. Please, call your CEO if you need to confirm. "

Adjusting his glasses once more, Grenham glanced at the screen and then sagged back into his chair. "No," he said quietly. "That... that won't be necessary."

"So, Doctor, will Phonetix be interested in developing my prototype?"

"Of course. We'll need to verify your claims and I'm not authorized to negotiate about this sort of thing – we normally develop our own patented technologies. As you know," he added hastily as Fowl watched with him, one eyebrow cocked. "But I can guarantee that our company will be interested in your design."

Fowl nodded. "Good," he said. "Then I have only one request."

Grenham's brow furrowed. "Request?"

"Yes. I would like to meet with Doctor Drika Heveldt."

"Doctor Heveldt?"

"We're old acquaintances," Fowl said, steepling his fingers.

"She's in the laboratory at present. I could try to call down to her but if she's in the middle of a sensitive operation then she likely won't answer."

"I would very much like to surprise her. Perhaps you could give me a brief tour of the labs?"

Klu straightened as he heard Captain's Short's voice coming over the comm system. She would be speaking in barely more than a whisper but he could hear her perfectly thanks to the supremely sensitive equipment. "Are you ready?"

"Y– yes, Captain."

He heard a slight rumble over the comm line – a suppressed groan perhaps. Apparently the captain was not convinced of his readiness.

"I'm afraid the labs are for authorized personnel only," Grenham was saying. "I'm afraid I can't–"

"Oh I understand, of course," Fowl cut in. "Perhaps this will change your mind, however," he said, reaching for the communicator and pressing a few of the touch pads. Klu took a deep breath as Fowl handed the communicator to Grenham and a new window opened up on Klu's console.

Klu took a deep breath. His hands were shaking. "Doctor Grenham," he said, his voice laced with the mesmer. The doctor blinked once and peered into the screen. Klu tried to ignore the perspiration beading on his brow. His magic was flowing well enough – he'd performed the ritual not six months ago – but it had been years since he'd used the mesmer... not since that unfortunate incident during a family vacation in the old country when he'd run into a tiny Mud Girl who'd been looking for Leprechauns and, upon seeing him, had demanded that he hand over his pot of gold.

"Concentrate," Captain Short hissed over the comm line.

"Doctor Grenham," Klu began again, letting the magic coil around his vocal chords, dance in eyes, and flow out of him. "Won't you take Artemis to visit the labs? I would appreciate it very much if you did."

Eyes fixed on the screen, Grenham licked his lips. "It's– it's restricted access. I really can't allow..."

"Artemis only wants to visit an old friend," Klu went on, nudging, cajoling with his magic. Commander Kelp had been very clear that he was to avoid putting too much force into the mesmer; Grenham was an innocent in all this and frying his brain cells would reflect badly on the LEP.

"A friend, yes..." Grenham murmured.

"And he already owns so much of the company. He only wants the best for Phonetix. It really couldn't do any harm to let him through."

"Well," Grenham began thoughtfully, "I suppose it couldn't do any harm to let Mr. Fowl visit an old friend. Just a brief visit."

"Of course. A brief visit. You won't even need to be there. Just take Artemis down and Doctor Heveldt can show him back up. And then you can forget all about it. You and Artemis had a friendly business meeting – that's all. Nothing remarkable happened."

"Nothing at all," echoed Grenham.

"Thank you, Doctor Grenham."

Grenham blinked once when the signal cut out and he found himself peering at the blank screen of the communicator. He adjusted his glasses and looked up at Fowl. "A brief tour would be fine. After all, you're practically part of the Phoentix family now, Mr. Fowl."

Klu sagged in his chair and wiped his brow. Thank the gods that was over with. He'd have preferred it if Captain Short had been able to mesmerise the doctor, but they could not afford to have her do so without risking a later phase of the plan, and since Foaly, being a centaur, had no magic of his own, the task had fallen to Klu. He'd better get a promotion for this; using the mesmer had never been in the job description of data analyst.

Fowl had replaced the communicator in the briefcase and was following the doctor out of his office. Klu went to work setting up a false camera feed. Unless they wanted to perform mass mind wipes, which would be disastrous, they would need to erase any trace of Fowl from the cameras as he went with doctor Grenham to the underground labs. Foaly's team had already set up interface with the closed-system security so it was easy now to cover Fowl's trail.

So far, everything was going according to plan.

The journey to the underground labs was uneventful and they encountered no one on the way. Grenhamn keyed in his access and led Fowl to the laboratory where Opal – or Doctor Heveldt as he kept calling her – was working. He paused as they arrived at the door to the lab.

"Here we are, Mr. Fowl." He reached out and offered Artemis his hand. "It was lovely meeting with you. Even if nothing remarkable happened at all."

"A pleasure," Artemis replied, his face a mask of calm.

With that, doctor Grenham made his way back to his office. There was one complication out of the way. Now there was just the slight matter of Opal Koboi.

"Are we ready?" Fowl asked.

Klu waited a moment to get confirmation from his team and from Foaly's. "We're clear, Fowl. Proceed as planned."

"Into the lion's den," Fowl said and then opened the door to the lab and walked in.

It was empty. Except for a very big gun.

The weapon rested on a counter, the muzzle pointed towards the door. Its metallic sides lay open, revealing a mesh of fiberoptic cables and computer chips as well as the telltale orange pulse of a plasma feed. Though the latest DNA cannons used by the LEP were portable, Opal's prototype was much bulkier, perhaps due to the fact that it was being cobbled together from human technology and smuggled fairy parts.

"That's definitely a DNA cannon," Klu confirmed.

Fowl straightened as the cannon emitted a loud beep.

"I would suggest that you do not move, Artemis Fowl," said a female voice from somewhere above. Klu shuddered. Opal Koboi. "My cannon has locked on to your DNA sequence. I can remote fire the cannon at any time."

Klu did a quick scan. "Loudspeaker in the upper right corner," he announced. Fowl was

too preoccupied with not moving to respond. On the up side, thought Klu, at least the iris cam feed had steadied somewhat, which suited his irascible stomach.

"Artemis Fowl," drawled the voice of Opal Koboi. "How I have longed for this day. And here you deliver yourself into my hands. I could not have asked for more."

"Hiding, Opal?" Fowl said, his lips curved in a smug smile. "How unlike you."

"I will allow you the privilege resting your eyes on my face one last time, Fowl, but not just yet." The DNA cannon emitted another beep and a beam shot out of it striking to Artemis's left. A smothered grunt and the thud of a body hitting the floor.

"Holly!"

"Ah-ah. No moving," Opal chided. The cannon had beeped once more and was again locked on to Fowl.

Klu's head was spinning. He'd been staring straight at the helmet cam feed when the beam had struck and the image had veered wildly. The vertigo he'd felt earlier was nothing compared to this. Idly, he wondered if this is what it had felt like for a fairy who entered a human dwelling uninvited, back before the warlock No 1 had removed the geis. Book barf, they called it...

Laugher like the warble of an inebriated thrush was tinkling through the loudspeaker. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice that you brought your LEP friend along? I can see her thermal readings clearly and my new cannon can compensate for that silly centaur's latest Shimmer Suits."

Klu caught his breath as a door at the opposite end of the laboratory opened and Opal Koboi waltzed into the room. Though her chin had the same point and her build was still petite, she looked very little like a fairy any longer. Still shorter than Fowl, she would nevertheless have towered over any elf, let alone a pixie, and the roundness of her surgically altered ears was so unnatural that it made Klu dizzy. Or maybe that was the way the cam feeds were swaying – he couldn't be sure.

She glanced at the spot where the cannon had fired but there appeared to be nothing there. "Cam foil and a Shimmer Suit?" Opal said, advancing to have a better view of the spot. "Were you hoping to have your friend help you disappear after you'd stolen my precious cannon, Fowl?"

"If you've harmed Holly..."

"Only stunned. For now. I want you to see her perish. And then you yourself will perish."

Fowl heaved a sigh. "Melodrama indeed," he said, staring straight ahead at Opal.

"Avert your eyes," she shrieked. "It's bad for my skin."

Fowl fixed his eyes on the DNA cannon. "I thought you said I'd have the privilege of resting my eyes on your face one last time."

"A few seconds is enough. Your staring makes my skin wither. Human skin is so delicate. Do you know how much I must spend on ridiculous wrinkle creams now? All because of you."

Fowl arched an eyebrow. "If I recall correctly, it is you, not I, who decided to have a human pituitary glad implanted."

"Insolence," she hissed "I know what you're thinking, Fowl. I always know. You're waiting for your little friend to wake up and shoot me, aren't you?" Fowl remained silent and kept his eyes on the DNA cannon. "Now this is what you're going to do... You will remove the cam foil from Short and then you will slide her weapon over to me. With your foot. And remember, my cannon is trained on your DNA."

"As you wish," Fowl said. He bent, groping for the invisible form crumpled on the floor and then closed his fist on the cam foil covering it and pulled it back.

Opal shrieked.