Yet another one I wrote in chemistry...I didn't want to talk about chickens with my lab partner, so I said I was writing a novel. Which was a mistake because she wouldn't stop asking me questions. Nonetheless, it was written! More LightxHope fluff. :3 I was listening to "Pieces" by RED when I wrote this, too...so that's what it's based on.

Enjoy~!

"When I see your face, I know I'm finally yours. I find everything I thought I lost before. You call my name, I come to you in pieces so you can make me whole."

I tried to never showweakness whenever Sazh, Fang, Vanille, and Snow were around. It was easier said than done. I did however allow myself the room to show a little bit when it was just Lightning and me. Whenever we had time alone, we talked about anything and everything we wanted to or needed to. We talked to keep ourselves in good spirits. We talked to pass the time. We talked to keep ourselves going. To approach our fears.

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time discussing my apprehensions with Lightning. Even though she never told me things would be alright, her gentle embraces, firm hand squeezes, and whispered reminders of her promise to protect me were more comforting than any condolences might have been.

There was one thing I really didn't want to tell her - all because I was worried about crying in front of her. Not so much because I wanted to be tough enough for her, but because I was afraid that if I cried, I might not be able to control it.

In all our mess, I hadn't had any opportunity to mourn my mother's death.

Part of me desperately wanted to, while the other half hoped and prayed I'd never have the time. Deep down, I knew that after putting it off for nearly a week, her death combined with other circumstances would make it more than difficult to pull myself together alone.

Unfortunately, on Gran Pulse, there was a lot of idle time while we scouted, and I could only spend so much time gathering coconuts. I could sleep when it was light out, but never when it was dark. I pretended to sleep, but I couldn't spend forever pretending, either.

After a couple of days of this, I decided that I had to talk to Lightning. Maybe not about my mother, but about other things to busy myself. To keep myself from thinking too much. But when Sazh relieved her at midnight, I was surprised to see her lay down and close her eyes. I didn't want to bother her if she was going to sleep...

...but I had to do something.

I got up a few minutes after Lightning settled in and informed Sazh that I 'had something to attend to', which was the code that he, Snow and I established to keep the masculine mystique - whatever was left of it at this point. It meant any number of things. Sazh didn't press the issue and I took off, only telling me to be careful.

I wasn't brave enough to venture too far from camp, so I only went up to the little area I was slowly picking clean of all fruit by day. The western end of the area was a cliff which overlooked a lake that I assumed was the same size as the ocean Bodhum was situated on the coast of. I seated myself on a grassy knoll where I could see the inky black expanse of the lake and the star-strewn sky it mirrored. I let my mind go blank while I stared across the deceptively beautiful Pulsian plains, watching the stars twinkle in the lake.

A falling star streaked across the sky and flashed across the lake, stirring up memories in my heart as its tail left an imprint in my mind's eye. The burning tail of the star brought up memories of the Bodhum fireworks. Of my mother, her youthful face illuminated by their fluttering hues. Her smile. The last one I saw. Tears blurred my vision and I fought to hold them back as the memories hit me full-force.

I saw her pick up the gun in the Hanging Edge. I watched her save Snow's life. My throat released a sob without my consent as I watched her fall to her death, as I remembered the scream I let out as she descended to her grave in Lake Bresha. From there, I slowly began losing it all. I pulled my legs to my chest and hid my face in my knees, sobbing aloud and feeling totally, helplessly out of control. I gasped for breath between each mournful cry, unable to still my heaving shoulders. Between sobs, I begged my mother to come find me, to pull me to my feet, and tell me that I'd be alright. That everything would be alright, like she did whenever I woke up from a nightmare as a child. All the pain returned at once - from watching her die, from realizing that none of it was a dream, from telling myself that she would never come back.

All at once, it was too much.

It was at least two hours before I made my way back to camp, not a drop of water left in my body. I was so exhausted that I didn't think once of attempting to tidy my hair or wash the tearstains off my face.

The moon was high in the sky when I crept back into camp. Despite knowing that I couldn't sleep at night, I laid down in my allotted space and closed my eyes, hoping for just a few minutes of sleep.

I soon gave up trying to rest and sat up. I noticed Lightning's space was empty and looked around for her. She leaned against the cliff at our backs, obviously back on shift.

I got up and walked over to her, standing at her side and instinctively grabbing her hand. That was when I remembered the tearstains and desperately tried to hide my face by resting my head on her shoulder.

That was a mistake.

"Hope?" Lightning asked. "Is something the matter?"

"...can't sleep," i replied through my teeth.

Light turned to face me. "Really, what's wrong?" she tilted my head up, and obviously it was clear what was wrong, because a sad sigh escaped her, accompanied by a face to match.

"Hope, you can tell me," she murmured, one hand on my cheek and the other on my shoulder. I felt my eyes burn with the kneejerk instinct to cry and looked down.

"I...had too much time to think."

"About?"

My voice caught. "My mother."

"Oh, Hope..." Light pulled me into a hug, and though caught by surprise, I rested my head on her shoulder. "It's...it's alright," I whisper, my voice thick.

"Don't forget that I'll do everything I can to keep you safe," she said into my hair. "I could never hope to be as good at watching over you as your mother, but I'm doing my best." She pulled back and looked at me, her ghosty smile on her face. "I'm here whenever you need me. We've got other people here with us, but you and me...we're still class-A partners, remember."

I felt everything I thought I'd lost return to me when Light smiled. I managed a slight one myself and returned to her shoulder. When she closed her arms around me, I closed my eyes.

"Thanks, Light."

"Don't mention it."

I stayed as close to Light as I could all night, because I loved the feeling that only she gave me.

The feeling of being made whole from all the shattered pieces of who I was.