NOTE: Chapter does contain sexual content between two women... (we all knew it was coming... no pun intended) so the rating will change to correspond with this. This is based on experiences between my sister and law and myself... separately of course because I love my brother too much to try and get with his wife. I am NOT a rape victim but I am a victim of sexual assault so most of this is from my own personal experience. I never experienced nightmares and flashbacks, intimacy was a problem for me but I am fine and I actually co-wrote this chapter with my sister-in-law.)
Story Rating will be moved to M... You have been warned but the sex scenes I write will be completely based on intimacy and though it will be detailed, I promise they will not be excessively graphic and based more around the intimacy of the act. Each chapter will be rated individually from here on out. I WILL never write graphic flashbacks of Rachel's assault so any sex scenes will be romantic in nature because I am NOT comfortable writing violent sex.
Also, I'm sorry for this chapter not being as long as the previous two but I've been dealing with end of the school year madness and the harsh reality that my youngest brother is entering Junior High School next year, oh the joys of being a middle child.
Please be kind, I am still quite new to writing scenes with physical intimacy. In the future, these scenes will be marked off so readers can skip but honestly, the intimate scene in this chapter is most of it but it's (in my opinion) not overly graphic.
Chapter Rating: M
Also, I will be working on prewriting several chapters in advance because pride week is coming and I will be taking the time off of work so I will (hopefully) be able to get some writing done and get a few chapters written.
James: Thank you for your reviews once again. Rachel's moods will shift from situation to situation. I've learnt that some days triggers happen without really anything happening and others nothing triggers them at all. Also, I intend to revisit the topic of Quinn's sexuality in future chapters and her relationship with Brittany. Rachel does have an unholy streak but she uses it for the good of competition. I agree with solidarity. Its something that I found helped in real life. And as for the pregnancy, I'm not confirming or denying yet but that will be revealed in the next chapter.
Packer82: Thank you so much for your kind words.
Now, I want to hear from you. Karofsky: should he be included and should he be mean or nice? I'm on the fence with him because he is a fascinating character to explore in either capacity.
It was Sunday evening when they found out Rachel's fathers had entered their quarantine period which would mean they would be home in a month. And Rachel was conflicted about it. As much as she wanted to see her fathers, she didn't want to be apart from Santana overnight. She was still having nightmares and it was waking up in Santana's arms that helped her the most. Brittany had gone home with her parents and Rachel and Santana were on their own again. Rachel had been delayed in starting her Cheerio training because of a flu outbreak and now she was all set to begin in the morning.
However this night, it wasn't a nightmare that woke Rachel up. Actually, she wasn't sure what woke her but when she found herself alone in the bed, her first instinct was to panic. She had never waken up alone in Santana's bed and it was unnerving. Especially since she had fallen asleep in her arms so it was a bit confusing to her sleep-hazed mind. At least it was until...
"Mmm, Rachel…"
Rachel heard the sound of her name and found herself momentarily wonder what was happening. She could hear Santana's moans coming from the bathroom and it was such a beautiful sound barely over a whisper but she could hear it.
"God… Rachel!"
Suddenly, all she could hear was her girlfriend panting and she could feel throbbing between her legs as she figured out what Santana was doing in there. Intense throbbing. And wetness and warmth. So powerful and getting more and more persistent and impossible to ignore. She really wanted to touch herself now and she felt bad for wanting to but at the same time... Santana sounded so sexy moaning her name. But this wasn't her bed and...
"Yes! Oh... yes!"
Holy… Wow! She's… That has to be the hottest thing I've ever heard.
The bathroom door opened after the brief sound of running water and Rachel was currently having trouble focusing on anything besides her own throbbing problem or the feeling of wetness between her thighs. When Santana slid back in bed, she noticed Rachel laying there with her eyes open and she swore she could see Santana blush. Her cheeks were red and there was relief shining in her eyes that didn't go away, even as she blushed profusely at her girlfriend.
"I had to pee."
"I... um... heard you."
"Oh…" Suddenly her eyes went wide. "Oh, god, Rachel… I'm sorry. I just… I… um…"
Rachel cut off her girlfriend's attempt to come up with an excuse for her actions by placing a finger over her beautiful lips.
"Relax, Santana. You're human… I get it… And I um… really enjoyed hearing it," Rachel said as she felt her own face heating up with her admission but she noticed Santana's face seemed to light up in a crooked grin; a sight that was always welcome but it was also driving Rachel completely crazy. Santana's smile was super sexy and right at that moment, even her breathing was unbelievably hot.
"Did you now?"
"Yes. I did," Rachel said, flushing as she felt herself becoming uncomfortably damp as the throbbing intensified under Santana's gaze. This was common since she and Santana started dating but the urge to actually touch and do something was new. She hadn't wanted to engage with herself 'down there' since the incident. But right now, it was all she wanted to do. The desire must have been plain in her eyes because Santana got really close; her expression was both sultry and cautious.
"God. Now I'm feeling... that was really hot."
Santana's eyes widened as she realised that Rachel was squirming now and clearly she had figured out why because she'd been unaware that Rachel had enjoyed what she had heard that much. She gave Rachel a look up and down while she tried to figure out the best way to word her next question. Rachel felt Santana wrap an arm around her before she met Rachel's eyes with her own cautious eyes as though she were terrified simply suggesting this would set her off but clearly Rachel was in need of a release now and she knew she could offer this first before she tried offering a cold shower. She wanted Rachel to feel comfortable expressing herself sexually when she needed to if she was comfortable doing so.
"Do you want to do it, too?"
Rachel found herself nodding and Santana chuckled but gave her a serious look and Rachel knew she had to take care of this because Santana's presence was making the throbbing more intense as chills of pleasure went up and down her spine at the simple idea of getting a release. Rachel wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep now with this throbbing. After all, she had been wanting to go further with Santana than she had and her need for a release, despite her worries was slowly becoming harder to ignore. And at that very moment, it was kind of throbbing in an almost painful way.
"Do you want me to do it for you or perhaps this time just try it with me here?" Santana said, giving Rachel the option to choose how much she would participate. Santana knew about what Brittany had told Rachel in regards to sex and if Rachel was comfortable enough to try something, then she was going to make sure they went about it in the way that made her feel the most comfortable.
Rachel really wished she could tell Santana to go down on her and make her feel good and the thought made her core throb more but she knew that she wasn't ready to be touched like that. Not yet. But God did the idea ever turn her on!
"I… Want to try it myself this time… I don't know how it's going to go… Don't leave me," Rachel said, knowing if it went bad, she'd need her girlfriend to hold her because this would be her first time attempting an orgasm since it happened. But more than that; if Santana stayed, it would be the most intimate thing she would have ever done with another person and something about that was just perfect. It was a moment she genuinely wanted to share with Santana.
"Okay… I won't. I'll be right here through the whole thing. I assume you know what to do," Santana said nervously making it clear she knew just how big a deal this was; how significant what was about to happen was. When Rachel nodded she smiled and kissed Rachel's cheek softly. What they were about to do wasn't a traditional expression of intimacy but she still wanted this moment to be as intimate as possible without causing panic.
"I've never done this with another person near," Rachel said, feeling her underwear becoming wetter… She had to do this. She wouldn't get back to sleep if she didn't… She was throbbing too much. She was at a point beyond return because the idea of touching herself was making her throb more. She wasn't ready to let Santana touch her yet but she could have Santana close by while she touched herself. Brittany had mentioned it and honestly, it seemed to be something very intimate and she was willing to try it with Santana. It would be her own personal victory. More importantly, it would be a step forward in their relationship; it would be a really big step and honestly, it was one she had been contemplating taking before she heard Santana pleasuring herself and now the moment was here.
Rachel gave a small nervous sigh as she worked her thumbs hesitantly under her pants before looking into Santana's beautifully rich, brown eyes.
"You don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"I want to," Rachel said as she looked to Santana as though asking permission before she could think about pulling her pants down in case she absolutely did not want this to happen in her bed. "Where should I…"
"Here is fine. I only went to the bathroom to keep from disturbing you. This is the first time you woke up while I've… done that."
"Okay," Rachel said as she nervously began taking her pyjama pants and underwear off, as though she was afraid Santana was going to change her mind or judge her despite the fact that they were still covered by the blankets. Once they were gone, Rachel laid there nervously with her hands by her side as though nervous to begin and honestly, she was a bit nervous but she wanted this. She wanted to do this. It was odd to lay in Santana's bed without her pants or her underwear on but the sheets felt so nice against her bare bottom. For a moment, she looked at Santana and didn't move, unsure where to begin.
She wanted to share this moment with her girlfriend but she was nervous. What if she moaned too loud? What if she made an ugly face when she came? What if she couldn't get herself off at all? She'd had no trouble with this in the past but now she was nervous to do it because she was nervous she was going to do something to make Santana lose interest.
"If you want me to look away…"
"Kiss me, San," Rachel said suddenly; she wasn't sure why but requesting a kiss at that moment felt right. Santana captured her lips in a heated kiss that made Rachel's knees shake and her heart to race. When they broke apart, she gave her girlfriend a look before grabbing her wrist to communicate that she didn't want her to look away. She wanted to have eye contact when she did this. It was one thing for her not to be able to allow her to touch her but she was not going to allow the intimacy of this act to be taken away from her. She wanted to look her girlfriend in the eye when she had her first orgasm with her present.
"I'm fine... I want to look you in the eyes and do this as though we were doing this right," Rachel said firmly as she reached down and touched herself for the first time in ages. Her body almost exploded at the simple touch. "Holy shit. You're sure you okay with me doing this here?"
"I'm more than fine with you doing this. But is it okay if I…"
"Go ahead. I want to hear you moan for me," Rachel said as she continued doing things that worked but didn't remind her of… that night. She found the little bead was already swollen and pulsing as she reached down and rubbed it tenderly, causing her entire body to shudder. She felt Santana remove her own pants and soon, the Latina was panting, causing her throbbing to grow and grow as she found her fingers becoming slicker as her arousal grew. They held eye contact the entire time, only blinking when they had to. Waves of pleasure crashed through her body that seemed to perfectly follow Santana's moans of pleasure. Whenever Santana would grunt or moan, her own pleasure would spike as she tried to think about touching each other and not themselves. It made it so much better as she pictured Santana's fingers working on her.
She couldn't go inside, she knew that but this was more than enough for her as she rubbed at her clit and played with the folds which were dripping with excitement. She could feel Santana thrusting into herself and the movements caused her body to react powerfully. Santana let out a loud groan of pleasure and Rachel let out her own groan. There was something so wonderful about laying next to Santana and seeing the look on her face as she moaned out in pleasure; the very same pleasure that was coursing through her body. Without stopping her fingers movements, she leaned closer and softly kissed Santana. Santana took her free hand and wrapped it around Rachel's waist, effectively pulling her close enough that their hearts beat against each other but just enough distance that their fingers could still move. Once again, they kept their eyes locked in a passionate and loving gaze as they worked themselves closer and closer to the edge.
Suddenly and without warning, she felt herself start to climax and when she heard the Latina groan her release, it was like a chain reaction and she found her entire body become engulfed by her own orgasm. It was stronger than she'd ever experienced before. So strong that she took her free hand and grabbed onto Santana's... She's not sure what because she just gripped the first thing her hand landed on but it clearly didn't hurt because Santana wasn't objecting. She had been going for her arm but she was almost certain she hadn't grabbed onto that.
"Oh my god! Yes! Santana! Jesus!"
When her body finally stopped jerking, she stared at Santana and tried to catch her breath as she realised she was gripping Santana's covered breast while Santana simply stared into her eyes with a smile as she gently cupped Rachel's cheek with her own free hand, looking into her eyes with enough affection and warmth that it filled her with enough joy to make her forget everything that was wrong just for a few seconds. At that moment, she felt loved; she felt like she was the most beautiful and precious thing in Santana's life.
"It's never been that strong before," she breathed, noticing Santana was resting and watching her with a lazy, satisfied grin on her face, still cupping Rachel's cheek with her hand as they both kept their eyes locked on one another's. Rachel smiled and surprised them both by climbing on top of Santana and into her arms and letting their bare legs weave together. She could feel Santana's wetness against her own legs, just like she knew Santana could feel hers but she was too content to be bothered moving. After what they'd just done it was safe to say they were well past being modest.
"Hmm, I agree. Are you okay with what happened? Are you comfortable?"
She stared deep into Rachel's eyes so she could actually see if her girlfriend was okay; Rachel, of course, was more than okay. She was in pure bliss as she felt Santana's arms tighten around her.
"I'm fine right now. That was amazing," Rachel said kissing the Latina softly and enjoying the look of pure bliss on her face. "Can we do that again sometime? Cause that felt amazing, better than when I've done it alone... And I am so happy it happened with you."
She was happy. It was everything she had ever imagined from a sexual experience but there was something so intimate about the moment. Something beautiful about what they had just shared. Santana hadn't touched her physically and yet, she felt as though what they had done was so much more special because it was their first real sexual experience together and Santana had done everything to make sure Rachel was comfortable. Feeling their hearts beating together as they both came undone was something magnificent and addictive.
"Absolutely," Santana said as she kissed Rachel softly. "We can do that whenever you want. I'm surprised this happened at all."
"Yes, well, I really liked what I heard when you were in the bathroom," Rachel said, pulling Santana's mouth to hers before snuggling back down. "Have you ever done that before?"
"Masturbated with another person? No. But I'm fine if that's all you can handle right now. No pressure. Clearly, we both want each other and we turn each other on but I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with," Santana said looking into Rachel's eyes.
"Is it okay if when we do start… testing the waters if maybe I could…"
"Could what?"
"Go down on you," Rachel said, causing Santana's eyes to widen. "I'm not sure I'm ready to be touched down there just yet but I wouldn't mind touching you… I want to."
"If you want to, I won't stop you," Santana said, happy that Rachel wanted to satisfy her like that but… "Just remember, there's no pressure. We'll work up to it as you're ready."
"Okay. I really want to touch you."
"Just know, if that's what you really want to do, I won't stop you but... What are you… Oh my g-god! Rachel!"
Rachel had reached down and began rubbing Santana's swollen nub, feeling the girl arch at the touch. Her fingers were soaked instantly and she loved feeling Santana throb against her fingers. It felt amazing under her fingers and when Santana squirmed, she couldn't help but grin. Sure, she couldn't let Santana touch her down there yet but she had no problem with touching her.
"God, I didn't think you meant now!"
"Do you want me to stop?" Rachel asked, slowing her movements down but the Latina only shook her head. "No. Only if you want to."
"I don't."
Soon, Rachel had slowly worked Santana into her third orgasm of the night and she couldn't help but take such pride in knowing it was her fingers that caused her to moan and cry out in pure pleasure as she looked into Rachel's eyes with pure affection and joy. The feeling of being inside her girlfriend was beyond anything she had ever imagined and the feelings she felt as Santana moaned out in pleasure were so intense and it made her realise just how much she loved her. She loved that she could do this to her, even after what had happened. She was able to bring those faces and those tantalizing sounds from her beautiful lover. And the feeling of Santana grinding against her hand was absolute perfection; especially as she rode out her orgasm.
"That was beautiful, Santana and so hot. You are perfect, you know that, right?"
Rachel replied as she drew her fingers out of Santana to her mouth and began licking them clean, enjoying the taste that was so purely Santana. It was easily the best thing she had tasted all week. Santana grabbed her face and pulled her in for a kiss which Rachel returned feverishly until moans began escaping her lips as the throbbing intensified once again.
"Do you want to…"
"I… I guess so… We have a half hour until your alarm will go off… Are you okay with me…"
"You're in charge here. Anything sexual is up to you," Santana said smiling. "Just don't suggest anal… That will never happen."
"Okay… Can I try it like this?"
She wanted to be in Santana's arms when she did come; she knew it had to be by her own fingers because she needed that control to keep herself grounded. She needed to be able to control everything that was happening down there but this seemed like it could be a step in the right direction. Maybe one day, she'd be able to work up to allowing the Latina to touch her. But for now, she needed that control. She needed complete control of everything that touched her down there. As Brittany said, it was a good stepping stone and eventually, she'd be able to work up to a point where she could let Santana touch her.
"Sure. If it'll work," Santana said.
Rachel reached down and worked her fingers until she found the right angle and soon enough she was moaning into Santana's shoulder, causing Santana to smile widely at the sound as Rachel moved against her.
"Kiss me," Rachel instructed again between pants and her girlfriend was all too happy to comply because it made her feel like she was actually doing something for the first time since Rachel started moaning into her ear.
"I'm gonna run my hands on your back, I don't like just lying here," Santana said, running her hands up Rachel's back as she said she would, causing a thrill of pleasure to crash across her body, pushing her over the edge completely. Her finger movements went jerky but she was too far gone for it to affect the intensity of the orgasm by much.
"Shit… Jesus… Santana… God! Oh my god! San… TANA!"
"Santana, god!" Rachel cried out as she felt Santana's lips on her neck, kissing up and down her pulse points, causing her to gasp out as the pleasure started exploding through her body, causing her orgasm to intensify almost as though she was having more than one. Her body twitched almost violently before she finally stopped shuddering out in pleasure as she collapsed into her girlfriend's waiting embrace.
"Wow! Rachel! I didn't know you had that kind of mouth on you," Santana said smirking as she stroked Rachel's sweaty hair. "That was so hot!"
"Yeah," Rachel said as she fell into Santana's chest, barely able to see straight. "That was amazing. You are amazing."
Rachel snuggled closer to Santana and took a moment to enjoy the feel of the girl's breath against the side of her face. Santana wrapped her arms tightly around Rachel and kissed her cheek before running her hand through the diva's thick and now really messy hair.
"How about next time, and this time I actually mean another night, I actually go down on you," Rachel said, causing the Latina's breath to shudder for a second.
"Only if that's what you want to do. Have you ever done that before?"
"No, what happened just now, between you and I, was the first sexual contact I've had with another person… That I actually wanted to participate in. And I'm glad it was with you because I've wanted to try and be intimate with you for a while. I just didn't know how to bring it up," Rachel said kissing Santana's neck. "You've been so amazing through this. I don't know if its too soon to say this and I'm scared you're going to be scared off but I feel this is the best time to say…"
"I love you, too, Rachel. And considering all we've been through together, I don't think it's too soon."
"I love you, Santana."
They captured each other's lips and just as Rachel let her tongue slide across Santana's lower lip…
Beep… beep… beep… beep…
"Ugh… The real world needs to stop now so I can gets my smooches on with my girl," Santana said, pulling Rachel's lips back to hers. After a few minutes of kissing, Santana decided they needed to get ready for the day. When they stood up, she noticed Santana staring at her bare legs and she couldn't help but flush. The site before her was breathtaking and it was the first time she had seen her girlfriend's exposed parts despite the fact that she had essentially just had sex with her.
"I love your legs," Santana said, staring up and down Rachel's legs, noticing with a smirk that Rachel was also appreciating the view. It made her realise that she had seen Rachel naked a few times but Rachel had never actually seen her naked. This was the first time Rachel had seen her without pants and underwear.
"I've never seen you this exposed before. I like it. I wish I could see the rest of you," Rachel said, as she watched Santana pull some clean underwear and a Cheerio uniform from her dresser. Santana smirked and clearly decided to forgo going into the bathroom to undress and instead stripped off her shirt right there, giving Rachel her first ever view of her girlfriend completely naked. She couldn't help but stare. The latina was gorgeous! Perfect! From her firm and full breasts to her toned stomach.
Santana sauntered her way to her girlfriend and smirked at her before she pulled Rachel in for a kiss. Rachel returned the kiss and pushed the Latina onto the bed so that she was straddling her waist.
"We need to get ready, Rachel."
"Well, I'm still in my sleep top," Rachel said, peeling the shirt off and dropping it to the floor before she reattached her lips to Santana's. She knew she was reaching a boundary she wasn't ready to cross, so she decided to slow it down and simply keep her hands to the Latina's neck but that didn't stop her from holding their bodies close, feeling their bare skin touch in every way possible.
"You know, this is the first time I've gotten naked with another person after the sex has ended. You're throwing my game, Berry."
"Do you want me to finger you again? Cause I can do that?"
"Do I want you to?… Yes. Do we have time? No," Santana said with a smile as she noticed Rachel's fingers twitching in that direction. "Seriously, love, we need to get dressed. As much as I'd love to stay naked with you, we can't. We have Cheerio practice."
"Okay," Rachel said as she stood up, unsure of what had come over her just then… Oh yeah, her sexy, naked girlfriend. That was what came over her.
She was about to say something when a wave of nausea hit her. It wasn't too intense but enough that she knew she wasn't feeling well. Perhaps she just needed to eat something. She'd be fine. During the drive to school, Rachel held Santana's hand and despite light nausea, she still enjoyed holding her girlfriend's hand, especially after a night like they had had. By the time she arrived at the school, her stomach felt better and she was a bit hungry.
Santana smiled as she pulled Rachel against her side and hugged her briefly before taking her hand and guiding her into the school. The first thing Santana did was guide Rachel to the gym where she pulled Rachel in for a hungry kiss which was returned. Rachel wrapped her arms around Santana's neck and pulled their bodies closer for a few moments before she pulled away and gazed into her girlfriend's eyes.
They were going to be alone in the gym for another half hour until the other girls arrived. Today was Rachel's first day in charge and she was sporting a uniform that was different from the other girls. It was a t-shirt, a varsity jacket and pants.
"Rachel. I just want to make sure you're okay with what happened this morning now that you've had time to register it," Santana said, cupping Rachel's cheek gently and looking into her eyes with sincerity and concern in her eyes. She wanted to make sure there were no regrets or any types of flashbacks or triggers that could cause her to be emotionally distressed throughout the day. If she had to, she would tell the coach where to go and take Rachel home.
"Santana. I'm fine, I swear. What happened this morning was great and having you by my side made it even better. But what I did to you? That was amazing and I can't wait until the day I can let you do it to me," Rachel sighed kissing Santana deeply.
"Okay. If we're going to start allowing things like that to happen, you need to promise me you'll let me know if your uncomfortable and need to stop. I want us to create a safe word, Rachel," Santana said sternly. "Something specific that will tell me you need to stop."
"Sanctuary."
Because she knew she would always find sanctuary with Santana, even when she was at her worst. And it was a good choice because it's not something she would moan out on her own while she and Santana were being intimate unless she wanted or needed to stop.
"Okay. That works."
"Are you okay? Did you... um... did I do it right?" Rachel asked, suddenly feeling insecure.
"You were perfect but you should know, the bedroom is one place you could never disappoint me. I'll admit, I was very surprised. I didn't expect sex this morning but you were brilliant but you don't have to have sex with me just to make me happy. I love having you in any way... snuggles, kisses, talking and sure last night was amazing but I only want you doing it if its what you want to do."
"And I wanted to. I'm glad I did and I meant it when I said I want to do it again sometime because I absolutely loved making you feel good."
"Good now, today's Cheerio practice..."
"Get ready to see why she has twelve-year-olds wetting themselves," Brittany said with a giggle as she hugged Rachel softly and hugged Santana.
Santana stared at Rachel as Quinn wrapped her arms around Brittany from behind and eyes Rachel as though expecting her to start ordering them; clearly, Brittany had told her what to expect. Santana gulped and looked warily at her girlfriend.
"I love you, Tana. You have nothing to worry about but it's going to be a rough couple days. I'm not going to put you through anything I wouldn't do myself," Rachel promised as she kissed Santana. "And honestly, I'm kind of tired so they're not going to get the full treatment today."
When Santana went off to the side to talk to the coach, Quinn stepped beside Rachel, knowing she was going to be working closely with her to make sure she was up on their techniques and most importantly the girls' individual strengths and weaknesses so she had a rough idea what she could and couldn't do. Sure, she had picked up on a lot but there were things that she wouldn't have picked up yet that she would need to know.
"How're you doing, Rachel?" Quinn asked as she guided Rachel over to the bench so she could begin going over their past routines and the bios of the players who had specific weaknesses that needed to be brought to Rachel's attention before she could start shaking things up and assigning new rolls.
"I'm fine. A bit tired but we woke up really early. I was a bit queasy but I think it was just nerves," Rachel said, turning around just in time to see Santana begin slowly bending down to touch her toes repeatedly almost directly in front of them. It was because of this that she missed the look that crossed Quinn's face as Quinn made a note in her phone to stop by the Walgreens outside of town after school. She had to buy it today while she still had the nerves to do so. But she resolved to keep an eye out for Rachel over the next few days and if she noticed any more signs, she was going to approach her but for now, she decided to just let her get started whipping the cheerios into shape. At least when the time came, she would have everything she needed.
When Rachel made her way to Brittany to run some stuff by her, Quinn sat with her face in her hands as she let her own guilt consume her for a bit before fear and worry for Rachel began coursing through her. Rachel was slowly becoming less jumpy, anxious and depressed; if her suspicion was correct, it was going to set her back. All she could do was hope and pray she was wrong but there was a feeling deep in her gut that told her she wasn't. And there was a feeling that if she hadn't kissed Rachel, none of this would have happened to her. If she was right, she was going to do everything in her power to make it easier for her.