What if? The Purgatory of Lily
Chapter 6
Gratitude, Jealousy and Manipulation
Perhaps Sev was far more grateful than I thought...
Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.
Looking apprehensively at the mirror again, Lily had to wonder to herself something: why was it that in so many of the time-lines she had seen, rather than ending up with James, she ended up with Severus? I mean, sure she had had some small amount of attraction for him in her own time-line, but why was it that every time-line where her counterpart ended up marrying him, she looked so secure and confidant of her future? In contrast, both in her own time-line and the one where she ended up with James, she had had quite a few doubts...
'Maybe it was because Severus and I knew each other so very well, better than anyone really, although I did miss the fact that he was in love with me, for years apparently...' Lily then thought for a moment, 'Maybe that knowledge of each other was what made the difference; my counterparts who married Severus had spent far more time with him than I had ever spent with James. I mean, James and I weren't even good friends until the end of sixth year...'
Lily had a feeling though that she might have been missing something, but in the end she shrugged, thinking to herself, 'Speaking of Severus being in love with me, I wonder what Severus would have said when I asked him what made me different than everyone else he insulted, had I given him more time to respond? Would he have confessed his feelings for me then?'
Deciding that she needed to know more before she came to a conclusion, she simply pressed her palm to the mirror again and watched as the colors swirled; they then reformed with a flash as a particularly infamous scene in her own mind, after the incident by the lake when she had given up on Severus, too furious to try any harder...
"...Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can even understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends...you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"
Severus opened his mouth to deny it, but couldn't; he really did want to join the Dark Lord and make something of himself, do something worthwhile and show Lily that he could be a truly great person, someone she could be point at and say "I'm proud to call myself his friend.". He just needed to take some time to explain to her that it wasn't how she thought. Just because some rotten people, like Bellatrix Lestrange, were Death Eaters didn't mean that they were all bad...
Then Lily continued mercilessly, "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."
Severus started to panic, saying desperately, hoping against hope that something, anything, would help stop the death of their friendship he could see hurtling toward him like the Hogwarts Express, "No...Listen. I didn't mean-"
"-to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"
Severus struggled on the verge of speech, but realized that she was right; not about the 'everyone of her birth' thing as he didn't even think of her that way, but about how he had messed everything up, ruining their friendship. He had sworn never to hurt her like his dad hurt his mum, and had told her that it didn't make a difference being Muggleborn, and now he had just insulted his best friend for her heritage. He was scum, just like his father, and she was well shot of him.
True, she had been flirting with Potter during the incident, but he knew that it was unintentional; she hadn't meant to hurt him, not really, but he had called her a...he didn't even want to think of the word anymore. He had deliberately tried to hurt her, even if he hadn't intended to use that word, making him a monster just like Tobias. He had seen the man claim time and again that he loved his mum, then beat her whenever he got angry, and Severus was just as despicable as he was...
Tears were running down Lily-prime's face as she listened to Severus' thoughts; she had been so angry, so furious, so hurt, that when he had come up to apologize she hadn't even noticed how he was feeling. All she had cared about was how hurt she had been, shouting at him in her anger and barely even listening to what he was saying. Right now, she felt even scummier than Severus believed himself to be, and at least as sorry...
Lily considered leaving her traitorous ex-best friend there, then going back inside as she had said her piece, but she honestly wanted to make him hurt even more so he could see how she felt; as such she glared up and said nastily to him, "Well, Severus? Admit it, you DESPISE me for being a Muggleborn, don't you? I mean, even Potter would never call me a Mudblood, so why should YOU be worthy of forgiveness? Why should I be friends with someone who thinks that my heritage is muddy and slimy like you do?"
Severus bowed his head shamefully, saying nothing for several minutes, before he replied in a choked whisper, "I don't think any of those things about you, Lily, really I don't. In fact..." He swallowed, before continuing quietly, "...I swear that I will never use that word ever again, for any reason, not that it matters much at this point..."
He then turned away and said quietly, "In fact, I...I'll just go now and leave you to it then; just...just promise me you won't hate me, Lily. I know that it's unforgivable, but I never meant to...nevermind I'm just scum..." He then started to trudge towards the staircases down to the dungeons.
For about two seconds, Lily felt really good about how he looked so broken, as misery truly does love company; however, she soon started to feel more than a little guilty. She had been hurting so badly that she had decided to dump him before drawing her 'line in the sand' like she had planned; just a couple of minutes ago, it had felt like such a relief to have that issue finally dealt with once and for all, but he seemed to actually intend to stop using the word. Maybe it meant that she wasn't wasting her time after all...
Lily-prime remembered how she had doubted what she was doing almost as soon as she had stepped back inside the portrait hole, but Severus had given her nothing to go on that would cause her to hope... 'Not that I really gave him a chance to do so; I knew how he could get flustered really easily when it came to me, but kept berating without giving him much of a chance to respond...' I hope that things go differently with this Lily...
Lily then ran after him as he was about to go out of sight and called out "Wait, Sev!", causing him to turn around and look at her with a thoroughly miserable expression on his face. Feeling even more guilty by the second, Lily panted slightly, then said calmly, "IF I were to forgive you, then what would it be worth to you?"
Severus looked at her for a moment, a very faint spark of hope appearing on his face, then he whispered, "Anything..."
Lily smiled a little, then listed her conditions...
Lily-prime had a sinking feeling as time passed; while she would have once agreed with all three of the conditions her counterpart set (Severus not joining the Death Eaters, giving up on his Death Eater friends and stopping his retaliatory attacks on the Marauders), her opinions had shifted drastically on the middle one of those three conditions.
While she could see that Avery and Mulciber were a pretty bad influence, they were also really good friends of Severus, and she wasn't so sure that his giving up on their friendship would turn out so well. Save for Mary, who had apparently harbored a little bit of a crush for some time, it had taken a pretty long while for the other Gryffindors to accept him in the other time-lines she had witnessed...
Lily watched with a frown as Severus chatted with Argus Filch over in a corner; it...unsettled her to watch him conversing so amiably with someone so much older than they were, especially since that someone was the man who seemed to enjoy getting Gryffindor into trouble as much as or more than Severus did. More importantly, Lily could see and hear how most of those around her were laughing at and mocking him, and she didn't want him to get hurt by it...
"What a git; probably trying to get us all in trouble..."
"...have enough grease between them to fill all the pans in the Hogwarts' kitchens..."
"...what a weirdo, hanging out with Filch..."
Listening to these insults made her face burn on Severus' behalf; it wasn't so much that Lily disliked the idea of him being friends with some of the teachers, or even Filch, as it was the fact that it was hurting Severus' chances of making friends with kids his own age group. After forcing him to banish all of his old friends, Lily felt that it was kind of an obligation for her to help him replace them. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, Severus seemed to have no intention of doing so with anyone who was a student, let alone any of her friends; it was quite a hassle...
Lily-prime had started to have suspicions that each time-line was trying to reveal something to her, and this time-line appeared to be no exception; in her own time-line she had always wanted Severus and her friends to get along, but there was the whole 'he wants to be a Death Eater' thing, and neither Severus nor her other friends seemed interested in becoming friends with each other. Perhaps this time-line would tell her why that might be...
Soon, Severus finished talking to Filch, and Lily walked up beside him without him noticing; as she tapped him on the shoulder though, he whirled around and pointed his wand at her with a snarl until he realized who he was pointing it at, whereupon he lowered it. After taking a moment to recover from that mild scare, Lily said with a frown, "You know Sev, I wanted you to make more friends, but why couldn't they be closer to our age? I mean, Filch? Why not try some of my friends?"
Severus shrugged, then said coolly, "Really, he's not that bad if you follow the rules and such, something that most Gryffindors have trouble with I'm sure... Why does it matter who my friends are anyway? Are you going to have me give up on them too?"
Lily glared at him, then replied coldly, "Are you saying that you still want to be friends with those future-Death Eaters? Trust me, it's for the best that you gave up on them..."
Severus glared right back at her and struggled for speech for a moment before saying,"Urgh...nevermind."
"Good." Lily said with a satisfied smile on her face, "Trust me when I say that you made the right choice..." She then whispered to herself, "They never deserved you anyway..."
Lily-prime shivered slightly; she couldn't say that she cared much for this counterpart of her's, especially after getting the chance to see what friendships Severus had given up. It was obvious that, while she and Severus were still friends, there was a definite coolness because of the 'Mudblood' incident. 'It's rather sad that this was supposed to be a 'better' version of myself...'
Severus, apparently hearing her, then said coldly, "You might think that they were bad friends, but bad friends beats no friends, Lily... Why do you think that my only friends now are the teachers?"
Lily's smile then faded and turned into a frown, before she said quietly, "Don't worry Sev, I'll make sure that I fix that for you, I promise..." She then gave him a hug and the two of them continued walking...
Some time passed, and things occured pretty much identically to how they had in Lily-Prime's original time-line, with the exception that Severus remained her counterpart's friend. James started to change for the better and the Death Eaters seemed to grow more vocal by the day about their goals of 'purity'. Interestingly enough, not that many of Lily's friends seemed to change their opinions of Severus, merely changing what they were complaining about with him...
There was only one exception to that...
"Think about it, Lily; I know that he used to be really arrogant and such, but he's clearly changed for the better. I mean, he's even stopped fighting with Snape..."
"I just don't know for sure; I mean, sure he's changed a bit, but maybe there..."
"Oh come on, you're barely even trying to find an excuse to avoid him anymore, and you spend quite a bit of time talking with him; just go out with him for once. If you're right about James not changing, then you can just let him take you out to a nice dinner; he's got the money to spend after all..."
"I dunno...maybe you're right, Sabrina..."
Severus walked away slowly, tears in his eyes; he had known that this day would come sooner or later, and she would start dating Potter, probably ending up marrying him. He saw the look in her eyes whenever she looked at the prat, even before Potter had stopped his attacks on him, and it was very obvious to him that Lily was attracted to his rival in spite of what she had always said.
Lily-prime sighed as she listened in on Severus' dismal thoughts; he had always been very much afraid that she would give up on his friendship if she started dating James, even before she had been particularly interested in the idea. At the time, she had thought that he was being quite foolish, but she realized now that the reason he must have been worried was because James never missed an opportunity to attack him or make him look foolish in front of her.
'After all, if that was what James was doing then, then what would he have done once he had started dating me? Would he have stopped trying to show me that 'our friendship just wasn't worth it'? In all honesty, probably not...'
He had considered telling her how he felt, but Severus couldn't afford to take the chance after how close their friendship had come to utter obliteration that night by the portrait hole. What he had always known was a dangerous risk, as Lily's friendship with him was just too important to him to chance losing easily, had become a positively suicidal risk after that night. Ever since that night, there had been a vague tension in the air whenever the two of them were alone or with Mary Macdonald, and Lily would frequently glare at him for no reason at all...
"And the reason that you're moping is...?"
Severus quickly whirled around, only to see Mary standing behind him, clearly amused at his shock; speaking of Mary, the two of them had ironically become fast friends over the course of the year, as the two of them had a surprisingly large amount in common. It was especially ironic considering how Lily, who had at first all but shoved Mary at him, had started all but snarling whenever Mary would try to hug him...
'I wonder if...'
In contrast to Lily, who had the naivety of a five-year old when it came to complicated situations, he was sure that Mary must have been a Slytherin in another lifetime or reality; also, she didn't have Lily's distrust of Dark Magic, and would happily converse with him about how to increase the killing power of his Sectumsempra or whether it was possible to actually make someone's worst nightmares come to life without need of a Boggart...
Severus suddenly realized that he had gotten far too lost in his thoughts, and said morosely, "Well, Lily's decided to finally take James up on his millionth request to date him. I guess it was too much to ask that she would keep saying 'no' or that he would give up on her..."
Mary nodded at him, brown eyes downcast as her bushy hair seemed to catch the breeze from the astronomy tower slightly, to a rather nice effect; although he had never actually told her, Severus knew that she knew about his feelings for his childhood best friend. It might have been a little embarrassing, but she was really understanding about it, and it helped having someone his age to talk to about it...
Lily-prime raised an eyebrow at Severus' noticing of Mary's hair; apparently, her counterpart in the previous time-line had a right to be mildly worried, as Severus was probably attracted to Mary if he took the time to notice that...
Finally, Mary said, putting her arms around his back as he did so, "Well, he is clever, popular and rich, also charming and handsome; he did use to be a prat I admit, but he has apparently changed, so why shouldn't Lily go out with him? Besides, unless you can provide a good reason, she'll probably chalk it up to simple jealousy..."
Severus sighed gloomily and nodded, agreeing with her as he tentatively put his arms around her as well, when Lily's voice made itself heard from behind him; it was clearly annoyed about something, and made Severus' shoulders droop slightly as he let go of Mary and turned around to look at Lily. "Hey Sev...Mary, what are the two of you up to?"
Severus went slightly red with embarrassment, not knowing what to say, but Mary quickly covered for him by saying, "Oh...we were just discussing plans to go to Hogsmeade together this weekend; Shall I assume that you want to come along too Lily?"
Lily glared at him that same glare that Severus had started to dread, which seemed to occur whenever he and Mary were hanging out, then said somewhat haughtily, "That won't be necessary; James and I will be going out on a date, so you two will have plenty of time to 'have fun' in Hogsmeade..."
Lily suddenly turned around and stomped away, causing Severus to wonder what he had done to anger her once again. Mary then said with a sigh, "The way she keeps acting I don't think that Lily wants you to have anyone as a friend but her, you know?"
Severus only sighed, as it sometimes seemed that way...
Lily-prime had to stifle a snicker, as it was pretty obvious to her the reason that her counterpart was acting the way she was; if she wasn't jealous, Lily-prime would be shocked indeed. However, it didn't escape her notice how Mary was not-so-subtly implying that she and Severus were going to Hogsmeade 'together', and it made her frown as she noticed what Mary had said...
Time passed, and Lily watched as her counterpart started going out with Potter; much like herself, her counterpart was pleasantly surprised by how kind and warm-hearted he could be when they were actually together. He was a very romantic person, and wooed her counterpart brilliantly, making use of flowers, music, candlelit dinners and all the trappings of romance backed up by genuine empathy and caring for her...
"So what do you think of James? I mean, you've been going out with him for nearly two months; what do you think of him?"
Lily frowned for a moment, wondering why Mary was asking her this when it was so obvious how they were doing, then she shrugged and said with a bit of a blush and an exaggerated grin, "I think that he might be 'the one', you know Mary? I mean, I always thought that he was so arrogant that he would just be a prat even if I had said yes; but he's so romantic and so wonderful..."
Mary looked at her appraisingly for a moment, then she turned to Severus and said sarcastically, "Ooh, Lily's found her 'the one'; do you know what that means, Severus? Apparently, her brain has taken leave of its senses!"
Lily growled and whacked her on the shoulder once, before putting her hand on Severus' shoulder and saying with a touch of embarrassment, knowing that hearing her talk about his ex-rival in glowing terms had to be quite annoying for him, "Don't be stupid, Mary; all I'm saying is that James and I really have a lot more compatibility than I thought, you know? Still, I wouldn't be surprised if he really is the one for me... I might even end up marrying him someday..."
Lily-prime actually wanted to slap her counterpart for her sheer obliviousness; knowing what she knew now, Lily-prime was abolutely sure that this must be right up there with getting a sword rammed through his chest in terms of sheer painfulness to Severus...
Severus didn't say anything as he seemed to slump, but Mary grinned at her, then said brightly, "So you plan on taking him to Hogsmeade on a date next week? It'll be Valentine's Day and I'm sure that you two would have a really great time together..."
Lily nodded slowly, then Mary asked casually with a glance at Severus, who Lily noticed wasn't even looking at her, "So, would you mind if Severus and I came along? It might be a lot of fun."
Lily felt a twinge of anger as Severus smiled slightly, not quite sure why the thought of going on a double-date with him and Mary bothered her so much, then said coolly, "I'd rather not, but maybe we'll get lucky and meet each other in Hogsmeade. Still, why don't the two of you go with each other on your own?"
'It is ironic' Lily-prime mused, 'just what can happen with a few misunderstandings, especially when someone else is taking advantage of them like how Mary seems to be doing...'
Lily-prime then suddenly had the strangest feeling that she was missing something that should have been completely obvious to her...
For an instant, Mary's grin turned positively triumphant, but it quickly changed back as Severus sighed gloomily; she then said quickly, clearly changing the subject, "So, Sev, how've things been going with those arrogant prats?"
Lily watched in confusion as Severus gave Mary a quick look of gratitude; she was starting to suspect that there was something in the conversation that she had somehow missed, but couldn't quite figure out what it was. Regardless, Severus then said with a frown as he looked back down, "Unfortunately, while Pott-James hasn't been bothering me for a while, his buddies still make sure to hex me at least once a week. It's not like I'm completely outmatched anymore, as Lupin still only joins in when I'm already winning, but still..."
The two girls looked at each other for a moment, and Lily felt more than a little guilty; she had always suspected that Severus' counterattacks upon the Marauders might have been part of the reason that they had kept attacking, or at least so the Marauders had claimed. However, it appeared that they didn't particularly care whether he attacked them at all, as they had kept up their attacks without even the slightest change for more than a year after Severus had stopped trying to do more than merely defend himself.
'It's ironic that only James had the moral courage and decency to try to stop them; he even yelled at Sirius about it in public after all! Remus might know that it's wrong, but he never does anything about it, not really... The problem is, what can I do to stop it? I've been punishing them with every detention I can, tried to reason with them and even resorted to bribery once, yet none of it has worked in any meaningful way...'
As Lily tried to think of something, Mary suddenly smirked maliciously, before all but purring, "Sev, I guarentee you that this time next month you will no longer have to worry about the Marauders again...ever..."
Lily-prime's blood chilled; Mary had never been the type of person who believed in the ideas of forgiveness, mercy or fair play when it came to dealing with those she disliked. Unlike her counterpart, who had a tendency to get angry somewhat easily but rarely stayed angry for very long, Mary didn't get angry quickly or easily; however, when she did, she displayed a near-savage level of brutality to those who had angered her...
Time passed, and Lily-prime watched apprehensively as Severus slowly but surely drew closer to Mary while her counterpart all but shoved him into Mary's arms in her jealousy and anger; even though she was still dating James, her counterpart was still clearly attracted to Severus, and it made Lily-prime want to just scream at her to just go and talk to him about it and explain why she was so angry...
'Now, if only I could have followed my own advice, rather than just lecturing him again and again...'
Soon, the scene shifted to one after dark outside of the Hogwarts castle...
"Y-you wouldn't! You're lying!"
"Hmmph, you heard me, those are my conditions for sparing your precious little werewolf. Give me Sirius' head on a pike and leave Severus alone, or I'll have the time of my life ruining Lupin's!"
Mary then gave a wicked laugh for dramatic effect, enjoying the expressions of horror and dismay flitting across Potter and Pettigrew's faces as they looked at one another. As she did so, she congratulated herself for this little scheme; it had taken a while, but she had finally figured out about Lupin's 'furry, little problem', partially thanks to Severus' subtle teasing of him about it.
Lily-prime sighed; she had disliked how Severus had teased him about it at the time, even though she hadn't really believed that Remus was a werewolf, as some of his teasing had been quite cruel and malicious...not that she could particularly blame him given how Remus' friends treated Severus, but still...
Now she had three options for dealing with the Marauders on a permanent basis: if Potter or Pettigrew talked now, then she could have Black chucked out of school in a heart-beat, maybe into a prison cell if she got lucky. Alternatively, she could reveal Lupin's secret to the whole school as well as Black's little 'dangerous prank', perhaps getting them both chucked out if she were lucky; and then there was option three, her favorite...
Suddenly, she was broken out of her musing by Potter's attempt at diplomacy as he pleaded, eyes begging her, "Come on Mary, I know that Sna-Severus has started dating you and you probably don't like it when Sirius plays pranks on him, but why take it out on Remus? He wouldn't hurt a fly! Think about it, even Severus doesn't go off on him much, and he's the one who gets pranked the most!"
Mary frowned, pretending to think for a moment, then said morosely, "You know, you're right... Black is the one who deserves to be punished the most..." She then grinned wickedly as she continued,"Remind me of that when I tell the ENTIRE BLOODY SCHOOL tomorrow about Lupin's so-called 'furry, little problem'! It'll save time when I get him and his good pal Black chucked out together, Lupin for being a werewolf and Sirius for his attempted murder!"
Lily-prime's eyebrows leapt to the top of her forehead as Mary said the words 'attempted murder'; a while after the incident, James had told her about how Severus had followed them into the Shrieking Shack, but he had never included Sirius in on the incident. 'Of course, maybe Mary's talking about something that only happened in this time-line...' Unfortunately, Lily-prime couldn't quite bring herself to believe this anymore...
Mary then said coldly while faking a bit of relish as the boys stood stock-still, walking up to them so barely a few feet seperated her from either Potter or Pettigrew and saying in a voice that managed to be both quiet and carrying at the same time,
"Imagine it, Lupin will instantly have his life torn to shreds... he would have a hell of a time getting a job to begin with, without a few N.E.W.T.s, but imagine what it would be like as a degree-less werewolf who is known to have nearly killed a fellow classmate and is good friends with the pathetic scoundrel who set up the incident in the first place... His life will be a living hell, with everyone seeing him as nothing more than scum off of someone's boots; he'll never have a girlfriend, and probably won't have any friends either, save for you wankers... I don't know about you, but that sounds truly terrible to allow to happen to someone for the sake of scum like Black..."
Mary then paused to think as she waited for the two of them to respond; now it was up to the two of them whether or not to rat out Black or let her ruin Lupin's life.
'I wonder which of the two they will choose...the boy who has tried to murder his fellow classmate or the boy who, even though a complete coward, has never really tried to do anything wrong... Heh, Severus should have done this a long time ago; it would have dealt with the Marauders quickly and efficiently I bet! Hell, Dumbledore's swearing him to secrecy or no, if I were in Severus' shoes I would have revealed Lupin's secret before O.W.L.s!'
Lily-prime frowned, not sure exactly how Sirius had been involved in the incident yet, but starting to get a very bad feeling about just how he had been involved...
Finally, Potter said with a glare of utter loathing, "You're even more of a piece of slime than Snape; there's no way that we'll betray one of our fellow Marauders to you like you want, so go to hell!"
Pettigrew then chimed in, "Yeah! What he said!"
Mary calmly shrugged and said, "Well, I guess it's Lupin's funeral then..."
The two boys looked at each other guiltily, then Potter said in a voice that was just loud enough for Mary to hear it, "Even if we did betray Sirius for Remus' sake, what would stop you from revealing his secret later on? Nothing."
Lily-prime understood James' decision, even though she didn't like it; he and Pettigrew had always been closer to Sirius than Remus, so it was easy to see who they would choose when the chips were down...
As the two Marauders walked away slowly, Mary sighed; either they had figured out that there was nothing protecting Lupin save for her word while there was nothing she could prove about Black for certain even if she was able to get Severus to testify, or they had just decided to throw Lupin the wolves for Black's sake...
After chuckling a little as she realized the pun she had inadvertently made, she walked over to a little clump of bushes and pushed them aside, revealing a bound and gagged Lupin sitting there with tears rolling down his cheeks as he his eyes stared blankly at her with a look of complete betrayel in them. Mary then said simply as she looked back at him while undoing the gag, "See? They've sold you up the river, Remus..."
As he swallowed, Mary thought to herself with an inward smirk, 'Getting the Marauders to all betray one another and tearing their friendships to shreds... I LOVE option three! It's perfectly ironic; Potter always wanted to destroy Severus and Lily's friendship, and now HIS friendships are destroyed instead!'
'It's official, I have begun to truly hate this incarnation of Mary Macdonald... What a little, manipulative bint...'
It turned out that Mary was mistaken; Remus ended up telling her about how all the Marauders other than him were illegal animagi, so she instead blackmailed them with the information after pretending to have a change of heart as regarding Lupin. With her having all of the Marauders by the balls so to speak, Mary was able to finally put an end to their bullying of Severus.
Soon afterward, he and Mary started dating...
"So Lily, it's nice to finally meet James; he seems very nice..."
"I know, mum, I should have had you guys meet him months ago and I'm sorry. It's just...I dunno, while at first I thought that I was in love, it pretty soon just seemed like just a fling of some sort; it wasn't until a couple of months ago that I realized that I actually loved him for real."
Lily and her mother were taking advantage of James and her father being busy chatting to have some time to talk together; it was the first time that she had brought James over to the house, and Lily was very glad to see that he was making such a good impression, as this was probably the first time that James had ever met a Muggle other than as a clerk or something.
Lily-prime suppressed a chuckle as she remembered how James had tried to speak slowly to the Muggle manning the burger joint they went to on their first date away from Hogwarts, as if the man were less intelligent of a person because he couldn't do magic. The man had then replied "Nice...to...meet...you...dunderhead!"
However, something had seemed to be bothering her mother all the way through dinner, and Lily was wondering when and how it would come up. Finally, Marigold Evans said lightly and with a small laugh that wasn't fooling Lily in any way, "You know, I have to say that it was quite a surprise to us when you first told us that your boyfriend was James Potter. Honestly, we had you and Severus pegged for years to end up together; heck, it was part of the reason that your father actually volunteered to give him 'the talk'."
Lily didn't laugh, but she said wistfully, first making sure that no-one other than her mother was nearby, "Honestly, I thought that it might be the case as well, for a few months after fifth year at least; I was secretly rather touched by how he was willing to sacrifice so much for the sake of our friendship, and even fancied the possibility that he might be interested in more than that..."
Lily-prime couldn't say that she was particularly fond of that action of her counterpart's; while she had been considering demanding the same thing of Severus at the time, now that she had 'met' Severus' friends and seen how they were in their school-days, she realized that she couldn't have demanded that Severus give them up in good conscience without giving up the Marauders as well.
'It really is a shame that neither of us ever really took the time to get to know each other's friends...although in Severus' case he can be excused because the only way that James ever wanted to meet him was at the other end of his wand...'
Her voice then turned a bit bleaker as she sighed and said sadly, "...Unfortunately, then this other girl showed up, and she got me thinking that she and Severus were dating; I never bothered to confirm it, but I started getting very jealous and pushing him away, even going so far as to flaunt my relationship with another man in order to make HIM jealous. You see, it wasn't until a short time ago that I had developed real relationshippy feelings for James, you know?"
Lily's mother looked rather uncomfortable, then she said quietly, "Actually, Lily, I'm pretty sure that Severus was very jealous of him; whenever you would mention your boyfriend in front of all of us he would get this angry look on his face..." She then frowned, "...Speaking of James, didn't he and Severus use to be rivals or something?"
Lily looked at her guiltily, then said, "I used to think it was that way as well, but I think that I might have been mistaken in hindsight; I think that it was much more of a bully/victim relationship than even I thought. Luckily, James stopped doing it before we started dating, or I would have never gone out with him to begin with; he even started telling off his friends about it..."
Lily-prime swallowed; she had been more than a little hard on Severus out of a mistaken perception that his conflict with James was just a big school rivalry. Really, it had stopped being a normal school rivalry the second that James had brought in his friends and started attacking whenever Severus was vulnerable...
Lily then refocused on what her mother had just said and asked skeptically, "Mum, are you sure that Severus was jealous because he had feelings about me, and not just angry because it was James? I mean, if he were really jealous, wouldn't he have tried to put James down more? He did it back in fifth year when I started having a bit of a crush on him after James saved Severus' life, although he did continue attacking him then, but he hasn't complained about my relationship with James other than his usual dislike for James..."
She paused, then continued with a bit of frustration, "...I mean, if he HAD feelings for me, wouldn't he have said something? I mean, this whole charade went on for nearly a year and a half before I actually got interested in James for real! He had all the time in the world to mention 'Oh, by the way Lily, I love you.' if he was actually interested in me!"
Marigold then shrugged, before saying with a tone of exasperation as she looked at her daughter, "Lily...I'm sure that you would understand completely if you just THOUGHT about what he sacrificed for only your friendship for just a couple of seconds; it's ironic how intelligent you are yet how thick-headed you can be when it comes to feelings..."
"Now THAT I agree with..." Muttered Lily-prime aloud.
She then paused, before saying more softly, "Regardless, it's water under the bridge now, isn't it? Perhaps things would have been different then if you had made different choices, but you now have new choices to make, and you can't always undo what you did... If you really care about Severus, then you're going to have to let him date this 'Mary' girl and get over you."
Marigold then gave her daughter a quick squeeze of the shoulder, before leaving her alone to think. After a few minutes of weighing what she remembered it came to Lily, making her want to slap herself on the forehead. In hindsight it was just a bit beyond blindingly obvious that he would have only given up so much if he had truly loved her...and it was also clear that it had been far from her best moment as a friend, as she had made Severus choose between herself and the few people who would call him a friend, even if they had been the scum of the Earth...
It was equally true that her mum was right about the other part; while she couldn't say that she didn't regret some of her choices, she would regret it even more if she let herself get caught up in what-ifs and forgot what she still had. As such, she would do as her mom had suggested and be happy for him, even if it might sting...
'Well, at least she had figured it out before she died... It's ironic, I thought that I was being such a great friend in spite of his being a complete prat much of the time towards the end; really though, although neither of us was perfect, I can't say that I would have voted for me as the better friend... His road might have had a dark end, but if our roles had been reversed, I know that Severus would have kept trying to light my way till the very end...'
A couple of years passed, and Lily-prime watched as her counterpart and Severus got married, to James and Mary respectively. In this time-line though, her counterpart joined the Auror department, to Lily-prime's surprise. In contrast, while all four worked with the Order of the Phoenix, only her counterpart and James were actually a part of it; Severus and Mary had chosen instead to remain independent, mainly because Mary and Dumbledore didn't quite see eye-to-eye.
Although Mary and Severus were officially part of neither the Order nor the Ministry, they were given honorary status as Aurors due to the sheer number of Death Eaters they had taken out between the two of them, so many that each had killed or brought into custody more Death Eaters than any two Aurors combined. The Daily Prophet even had given them the nicknames 'The Heralds of Battle', as it was said that wherever they were spotted, a battle against the Death Eaters would soon follow...
"...think that you are making a big mistake, Mary."
"The answer is still 'NO', Lily, and your chances of changing it are basically zero..."
Lily sighed in frustration, then flounced onto the nearby couch in the living room of the Snape family home while trying to keep herself from getting angry; in spite of the fact that she and Severus were still the best of friends even three years after Hogwarts, she and Mary had grown apart relatively quickly, only their shared relationships with Severus keeping them in touch anymore.
In truth, she had grown to quite dislike Mary's ideals, as Lily had learned to appreciate mercy greatly after her friendship with Severus came so close to extinction when she had almost allowed her anger to run away with her forgiveness. Although it wasn't a policy that could be applied as easily in wartime, Lily still aimed to disable rather than kill most of the time, as Voldemort had forced quite a few wizards into the ranks of his Death Eaters with the Imperius curse. In contrast, Mary tended to kill first and ask questions never...
Still, she had hoped that she would be able to persuade Mary of the necessity of joining the Order of the Phoenix; Severus still refused to join it unless Mary did, and if he didn't...Lily shivered at the thought. They were in grave danger, and the thought of her best friend dying was a possibility only matched in horror by either James or Harry dying...
Lily-prime could understand her counterpart's emotions very easily, although they were rather different from many of the past time-lines she had witnessed; while clearly she and Severus were no longer romantically interested in one another, they were so close that the thought of Severus being hurt was as devastating to her counterpart as anything she could possibly emotion. They were closer than most siblings, and in spite of their inherent differences, had managed to carve such a place in each others heart that few could match...
Trying again, Lily then said with forced calm, trying to see if she could persuade Mary in the same way that she had learned from dealing with Severus, "OK, I know that you don't care much for the idea of joining the Order for whatever reason, yet you help it all the time; there has to be a good reason that you help us when we need the help, but what is the reason that you aren't interested in becoming part of our Order? At the least, having allies would certainly help..."
Mary started to chuckle, then said coolly, "Lily, I want to make this perfectly clear so that you don't misinterpret it: I have absolutely no interest in joining a group lead by Dumbledore! His ideas and mine simply do not mesh, understood? I have no interest in dying for his so-called greater good, and I disagree completely with his methods for fighting the war, got it!?"
Mary then started to rant angrily, "His policies against using the Dark Arts on the Death Eaters are foolish and misguided, and his obsession with love as the greatest power is stupid; stubbornly, he refuses to accept that you can't fight the darkness with only the Light! He will lead the Order to their graves with that blasted twinkle in his eyes, and you're too foolish to see it, Lily!"
Lily strove to keep control of her annoyance and worry, but didn't quite manage it and said with a glare, "Stop posturing, Mary; what's the real reason that you don't want to join!? You have never been the type to stand on ideals when it was impractical before, and I doubt that you would start now; you know as well as I do that Dumbledore is the only one who can protect you and Severus from Voldemort, like it says in the prophecy!"
Lily-prime frowned; she had never heard the full contents of this prophecy, and was more than slightly annoyed by that fact. If such a prophecy seemed to make such a difference in so many time-lines, then why had no-one ever seen fit to inform her of it? 'Really, it seems from these time-lines that there is a lot that I wasn't aware of...'
Mary then looked at her strangely, before saying in a dramatically calmer tone of voice, although still clearly angry, "So he's told you the prophecy, has he? Well, have you considered what I might think about his ideas for 'protecting' us? The prophecy clearly states that 'the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal'; how can he do that if me, Severus and our baby are safe from him? Dumbledore's ONLY concern is his bloody greater good, so how do you think that our personal safety factors in on it? Do you think that I want Sev or my baby to play as HIS PAWNS!?"
Lily frowned, thinking to herself that while Mary might be being paranoid, she did have a good point; if it had been her Harry, then she hoped that she would think just as hard about Harry's safety as Mary was clearly calculating in that almost-Slytherin mind of hers. Although Lily didn't think that Dumbledore would sacrifice Mary and Severus for the greater good, she couldn't say it with utter certainty, and the very thought made Lily's heart skip a beat in terror at the thought of losing Severus...
Finally, having ruthlessly calculated everything like Severus had taught her, Lily said softly, "How about this? I'll return to Dumbledore and see if he can offer something concrete rather than merely his offer of protection? That way, I can evaluate his intentions as to protecting you; is that OK?"
Lily-prime had followed her counterpart's thoughts along carefully and found that she had changed the way she thought in some ways, much like her other counterparts had when they had stayed close to Severus, now that she thought about it... It seemed that they had become somewhat more suspicious people, less...innocent in some way, but more understanding...
Mary shook her head, rubbing her seven-month along pregnant belly with one of her slightly pale hands as she did so, then said coldly, "Not a chance, Lily; I trust you, but I will never trust him, not with how he has already treated my husband..."
Lily raised an eyebrow in confusion, then asked with an edge of anger, clearly not aimed at Mary, "'How he has already treated Sev'? What do you mean?"
Mary smiled sadly, then said with an emotion on her face that looked suspiciously like guilt, "I'm sorry, Lily, I can't tell you; I promised..."
Lily-prime snarled in frustration; unfortunately, the last scene had left off right before Mary was about to explain, and she had been very curious to hear what Mary was referring to, and whether or not it was before or after this time-line had shifted...
Nonetheless, more time passed until finally Lily saw a scene that didn't quite make sense to her: James Potter sitting on a couch, staring at a baby girl with short, wiry black hair and brown eyes...
'How had it gotten this way?' James Potter wondered to himself. 'Why have I been forced to be the father of Snape's daughter? I never liked the man, so why am I forced to raise his brat?'
After pondering a bit, he sighed; before he had died for his daughter's sake, sacrificing himself with some magic that James was sure was dark, Snape had made Lily the godmother of his daughter Sophia. In spite of James' objections, Lily had been absolutely thrilled when she had been told, but James had hoped that it would never prove necessary to actually take the girl in. 'Unfortunately, Snape got himself killed against Voldemort, although luckily after finishing the madman...'
Lily-prime frowned slightly as she remembered how James had objected to the idea of learning such magic himself, claiming that learning it was showing a lack of faith in Sirius and Peter to keep their secret safe... She really wished that he hadn't been so obstinate about his faith in his friends now that Peter she had realized that he had turned traitor...
In the past, James had cheerfully entertained thoughts of Snape dying painfully, especially when it seemed that he was trying to keep Lily away from him; however, now that it had actually happened...it wasn't nearly as enjoyable of a thought. It wasn't so much that James mourned him in particular, although he did regret the loss of life that Voldemort had again caused, but Lily had taken it rather...hard...
'Actually, 'hard' would be the understatement of a lifetime, really.' James mused to himself as the little girl looked at him quizzically, sitting up and watching him as he thought, while sucking greedily on her thumb. 'I think that both of the Snapes were more alive than her at the funeral, and they were dead; I hope I never again see her look so...shattered.'
James had seen Lily look hurt before, sad before, crushed before, especially when they had found out that Peter had joined the Death Eaters a long time ago and had betrayed them all, but none of those times compared to what he had seen in her eyes as her Slytherin best friend had been lowered into the dirt beside his also-deceased wife.
Lily had been such a wreck that James had actually needed to hold her hand, not for comfort or support, but in order to help pull her into the room where the body was to be viewed; on some level, James had been jealous, as he couldn't see why she was so devastated over the loss of someone who was just her childhood friend and had worried that she might have had an affair with the greasy git before he bit it. He knew that it was petty, but he had always been afraid on some level that one day Snape and Mary would split up and then he would run off with Lily...
Nevertheless, he wished now that Snape hadn't died, as James would almost rather die himself than see Lily look that broken...
It was interesting to get James' perspective on how he viewed her counterpart's friendship with Severus, as although he had a great deal of hatred for Severus, James clearly cared about her very much...
Suddenly, Lily walked through their living room with a fond smile as she held Harry and looked at Sophia...which immediately turned into a icy glare as she looked at James. He then sighed dismally; during the reading of the Will, it appeared that Mary hadn't had enough fun in her life ruining his and his friends' lives, as she had continued her attempts from beyond the grave...
In her Will, Mary had claimed to feel guilty about the past, and had revealed to Lily how she had played her and Snape against one another in an attempt to win him for herself; apparently, she also had purposefully played matchmaker between Lily and James while tricking her into acting like a complete jerk to Severus because of Lily's jealousy. Lily had clearly been far from thrilled to hear of that, but the worst part had been yet to come...
'Now THAT I believe...' Lily-prime thought to herself with a snarl. 'This Mary seems like a positively evil bint who would do anything to win and enjoys hurting others!'
Mary had revealed how while he had stopped 'attacking' Snape personally, and had publicly denounced it, he had actually been very supportive of Sirius and Peter's attempts to do so from behind the scenes. However, the more damaging thing that Mary had revealed in her cruel attempt to make his life miserable was how he had known that Snape knew about Remus' being a werewolf while he was still attacking him...
Lily had been downright furious after hearing Mary's Will, shouting at James that he had been playing games with his friend's future every moment that he had attacked Snape, as everyone knew that he had a cruel side and could easily have revealed Remus' being a werewolf to the whole school at any moment.
However, when James had defended himself by claiming that he knew that Snape would never have told on Remus like that, it hadn't gone too well; Lily, now positively enraged, had slapped him and shouted something about "And I called HIM ungrateful!?"; in spite of how James had tried to point out how Snape had kept cruelly teasing Remus with his secret, it had been almost three weeks since that day and Lily still barely spoke to him in her anger...
Lily-prime could easily see her counterpart's point, as it really made the incident a lot more grey than she thought...
Finally, James sighed and said, looking at Lily with determination, "Alright, I'll do it... I promise that I'll take care of Sophia like she was my own, treating her just like I do Harry...I did always want to get him a sister after all, and it's nice that she is the same age..."
Although Lily's glare remained as she looked at him in surprise, James could detect a small softening in it, and smiled inwardly; he would do just about anything to keep Lily happy and to win her heart, and taking care of Snape's daughter was just another sacrifice in the name of his love for Lily Evans Potter that he would have to make... 'Besides, even if she is the spawn of the greasy git and the demon who tried to make my life hell, maybe we've caught her early enough to keep her from ending up like her parents...'
Intellectually, James knew that his low opinion of Snape wasn't quite deserved, but it didn't stop him from hating how Lily had put him atop a golden pedestal now that he had died; apparently, in spite of his frequent pettiness towards others and his downright meanness to James and his friends, Snape could no longer do any wrong in Lily's eyes...
James was then distracted by Lily's laughter...and the pain that came from a baby's rattle smacking into his face at high speeds... 'I clearly have my work cut out for me...'
Years passed, and Lily-prime watched as her counterpart forgave her husband for what he had done in the past, eventually having another two girls; one was named Marigold after her counterpart's mother, with the other named Violet, to keep the Evans family tradition of naming daughters after flowers in general...
Nonetheless, this brought the stray thought to Lily-prime's attention about what she was going to do about HER husband in the afterlife, something which she had deliberately avoided thinking about ever since she had found out how James had deliberately lied to her about his attacks on Severus... Forcing it from her mind for the moment, she watched as her counterpart and Harry had a heart-to-heart mother-son conversation, wishing wistfully that she could have given such a conversation in her own life...
"...let me get this straight: you have a crush on Hermione Granger, and so does your best friend Ron Weasley, correct?"
"Yeah...I-I really like her; she's really quite pretty, and funny, and smart, very smart..." Lily had to suppress a giggle as Harry looked dreamily at a moving picture of his Muggleborn female best friend sitting on his bedside table, then he shook his head before continuing in a more frantic tone of voice, "...but Ron is my best friend as well, and I know that he has this really huge crush on her for a very long time, even if he isn't...the best at expressing it sometimes..."
Lily then smiled, before saying as she put her hand on Harry's shoulder, "Well, first of all, have you told Hermione that you like her yet?"
Harry looked embarrassed as he shook his head, and Lily chuckled a little, before saying kindly, "Well, one thing that I would strongly advise is to make sure that you spend time with her, getting to know her likes and dislikes; secondly, you can tell her how you feel, but don't put pressure on her to pick you. She and Ron are your best friends, and your relationships with your best friends have to be treated with great care indeed..."
Lily-prime nodded, having no choice but to agree with her counterpart by this point...
Lily saw that Harry was thinking this over carefully with a worried expression on his face, as Ron and Hermione were the two people who mattered the most in his life, and she was pleased that he was thinking about this with the care it deserved. She smiled and prepared to leave when she remembered something from her own past.
Remembering a similar set of best friends from long ago however, Lily then continued carefully, "Most importantly, whatever you do Harry, do not push Hermione away even if you get jealous; this is one of the biggest mistakes you can make when dealing with someone you like. It may seem like an easy way to deal with a problem to begin with, should you have one, but it will only cost you in the long run..."
'That's certainly true; Severus and I pushed each other away to the point that it seemed like ending the friendship was the right thing to do... If we hadn't been so foolish, then perhaps one of these realities would have been my own...'
As Harry nodded, Lily walked out of the room and almost ran into Sophia, who had apparently been walking past the door with a nose buried in one of her books. However, years of practice in dealing with children helped her realize that she had been eavesdropping...that and the fact that said book was upside-down. Smiling slightly, she whispered to her daughter, "If you want a turn to talk with him, now's your chance..."
Smirking, Sophia ran into the room and started talking, in the same tone of 'I'm right, deal with it!' that Lily could remember coming from Sophia's biological mother sometimes. Hoping that she wouldn't use this as another opportunity to tease her older brother, Lily sighed as she walked into the kitchen to make lunch.
It was hard, being a single mother of four, as James had died in a battle against a Dark wizard back when Harry was seven and Violet barely two. Nonetheless, Lily had managed to raise her children to grow up quite well in her opinion; between James' inheritance and the money she received from her biography of her two best friends, the so-called 'Heralds of Battle', Lily had enough money to take care of her family and keep them happy and healthy.
Still, Lily wished every day that one of either James, Severus or Mary had manage to survive; although she still had many friends, Remus being the best one of them, none of them had made such a difference in her life as those three.
Lily-prime wondered what had happened with her friendship with Sirius, but suspected that it might have something to do with the 'attempted murder' that Mary had referenced...
For a long time she had actually hated Mary, as she had 'stolen' Severus from her and Lily had thought that Mary only wanted him because he had been hers, but eventually she had realized that Mary had truly loved him as well; she had even told Lily about the moment she had started to have a crush on him, just prior to the end of O.W.L.s.
Mary had had a prank pulled on her by Sirius in one of his bizarre attempts to win her love by making her miserable, and had slipped and fallen down the stairs, breaking her leg in the process. While Sirius had fled lest a teacher catch him and put him in detention again, Severus had laughed at her and called her a clumsy Mudblood...while carefully fixing her leg to an extent that only a trained healer could have matched.
It had been then that Mary had wondered if she had misjudged the Slytherin boy, as even though he had been very, very cruel verbally, he had healed her and then brought her to Madam Pomfrey afterward. As such, she had told Lily about how he was waiting outside the portrait in order to repay him, only to swiftly fall for him when the three of them had become friends... In the end, Lily had forgiven her completely when she sacrificed her life to take out ten Death Eaters, giving Severus the chance to sacrifice his own life for his daughter's.
'Well, PERHAPS this Mary wasn't so bad after all, maybe... Still, I think that my counterpart would have been better for Severus...' Lily-prime frowned as she thought to herself.
In contrast, while James had been truly horrid to Severus and had positively LOATHED Mary, he had redeemed himself greatly of his past actions with how he had raised Sophia. Even though he had hated her parents, he had showered the girl with affection and had done his best not to let his own hatred of them keep him from telling her about the good things they had done. Before he had died, he had admitted to Lily that Sophia had become his favorite 'Daddy's Little Girl'...
He had always been a sweet, caring man when it came to the people he loved, one of the reasons that Lily had ended up falling for him in the end, and he had done his best to show his love for her all the days of his life. James had made his mistakes, and had deceived her in order to win her many a time, but he did love her very much...
'This is certainly true; whatever his faults, James loved me in my time-line. In contrast, my Sev...gave up on the girl who broke his heart... I guess I can't be too angry at him for forgetting about me...' Lily winced as she considered how it must have been for Severus.
Then there was Severus...
Suddenly, Lily was interrupted in her thoughts by Sophia's entering the kitchen with a smirk on her face as she went over to the refrigerator; although James had claimed Sophia to be just like her, Lily suspected that she was really more like her biological mother and father, and she was alright with that. Every time her daughter smirked or gave that slight grin reminiscent of her childhood best friend, it made Lily feel much better about her day, as it reminded her of just how lucky she had been to know him...
Lily hoped that Severus would be proud of the way that she had raised his daughter, much like she had been proud of him; he had sacrificed so much for those he had never liked or cared for, nearly costing himself everything he did care for, yet he had done it for no reward in this lifetime. Finally, he had died for the daughter he had created with the woman he had married and loved, saving her life while slaying the Darkest wizard of all time in the process...
Given how Sophia had already defeated two incarnations of Voldemort, and had finally sent him screaming into the void when she had confronted him in the graveyard of Little Hangleton after winning the Triwizard Tournament, Lily hoped that she had succeeded. 'Like father, like daughter, I suppose; Severus wanted to be a respected hero since he was a young boy, only to become a legend. It's only fitting that his daughter follow in his footsteps...'
'Indeed, it is only fitting, pity that it didn't happen in my time-line...'
As the time-line faded, Lily-prime thought to herself about what it implied about her own, for good or ill; at the least, some of the things she had learned had put a whole new perspective on some events.
In Lily-prime's opinion, her counterpart had been correct about what knowing Remus' secret meant about the rivalry between James and Severus, as it meant that Severus had a great deal more reason to be angry at James; even though James had saved his life once, Severus was protecting his close friend for his whole time at Hogwarts in spite of continual provocation on the parts of the Marauders. 'Perhaps Severus was far more grateful to James than I thought? I would explain why he was so angry when I called him ungrateful if he couldn't show HOW he was being grateful...'
Unfortunately, it showed a rather dark side to James that Lily couldn't say that she liked; her counterpart was right to be furious, as James either knew that Remus' secret was at risk and didn't care or knew that Severus was purposely showing Remus mercy and didn't care. After all, even if Dumbledore HAD sworn Severus to secrecy, it didn't mean that he couldn't break his word; after all, what was stopping him from telling his Slytherin buddies about it?
Mary's actions also drove Lily-prime to thinking a great deal, not so much about the actions themselves, but what her outrage toward them meant about how she should be feeling toward James and his actions. On the one hand, Mary had been plotting against a friend, which James and Severus were HIGHLY unlikely to ever call each other.
On the other hand, Mary's actions were far more mild than those that James had taken, as she had only tried to keep them from getting together rather than shattering their friendship, and she had APPARENTLY felt guilty in the end. It was quite hard to think about...
As for what her counterpart's forgiveness towards James meant for her own issues with her husband, Lily-prime was unsure, as her James' actions had been far worse than those which this counterpart had taken...
'He might be a hero, and I might be unsure about what I feel toward my Severus, but does that mean that I should accept James' actions? He seems to show little to no remorse in most of the time-lines where Severus is concerned and he hid the truth from me; that is almost more worrisome than the actions he has taken themselves...'
'Then there is the 'attempted murder' that Mary mentioned, as well as Dumbledore's 'betrayel'; did any of those occur in my time-line, and if so, what happened? I'm starting to feel like everything I knew was far more dark and murky than I could have possibly imagined...'
Author's Notes: Sorry for the long wait on updating, but I wanted to get this chapter as carefully done as possible; it will be one of two time-lines where Severus ends up with someone who isn't Lily. As my version of Mary Macdonald was very popular in my fic 'The Law of Unintended Consequences', I decided to give her a shot to see what might happen if Lily had married James but stayed friends with Severus.
For those of you who haven't read that fic, my version of Mary is basically the polar opposite of Lily; she is cruel and vicious when it comes to her enemies, and generally as loyal and good as Severus when it comes to her friends. Far more ruthless than Lily, she has a strong attraction to Severus because of their shared interest in the Dark Arts and how accepting of each other's flaws they are.
Mary also has a similar level of potential as a witch as Severus, and they have a tendency to spur each other on when it comes to creation of combat magic and increasing their skills. She has a tendency to prefer very destructive magic, and relies upon her anger and hatred to power her spells (Needless to say, Sectumsempra and other Dark Magic work very well for her).
In this fic, remember that both the Lily shown and Lily-prime are seeing things from their own points of view, so their views of Mary are colored by their dislike and/or jealousy. Similar to James, Mary isn't a bad person underneath it all, but a very flawed one.
Speaking of James, I hope that I did a good job with him, as I wanted to point out both his manipulative streak and his hatred of Severus as well as his great love for Lily. I don't view him as a monster, but he has a great many flaws, much like Severus in canon (in the Harry Potter years).
Don't forget, Lily-prime still doesn't know what happened during the werewolf incident specifically, nor what happened after her sixth year; as such, her perspective is still colored by a lack of information. As such, she still has no idea that Severus thinks that James was involved in the incident from the beginning, nor that he believes that he was only saved to preserve their own skins. Whether or not that is true or not I MIGHT go into later...
As for whether Ron and Hermione or Harry and Hermione got together in this time-line, you can imagine whichever scenario you prefer, but I think that Hermione would probably end up choosing Harry if he followed his mother's advice.
I have decided to end this fic after a total of three more One-shots, and an epilogue, so be warned!
YOU, the readers will get to vote on which differences at key points in the time-line she sees, as well as suggest other changes she could have made. I won't update this fic too often, as I want to give plenty of time for voting and suggestions.
IN ORDER TO VOTE: Select one or more of the possibilities listed, and include them in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail. You may vote for as many possibilities as you like, but only once for each possibility.
IN ORDER TO POST A NEW SUGGESTION: List the choice that Lily could have made, and your reasoning, and include it in either a Review, a PM, or an E-mail.
ALL SUGGESTED POSSIBILITIES MUST HAVE BEEN ABLE TO OCCUR IN CANON, AND THEY MUST BE DIFFERENCES IN LILY'S CHOICES. For example, having James be just a little too late in rescueing Severus during the Werewolf prank is not an option, as Lily didn't make that choice, but having her decide to kiss him once in fifth year, just to see what it would be like, is.
In spite of the listed pairing, not all of the lives she views will have Severus and Lily paired together in the end, although a majority will.
After Sev tells her she's a witch, instead of running off with Petunia, she should stay and prod him for further proof. 5
When Lily tells Severus off about his friends in fourth year, she attempts to use concrete examples to prove that they are as bad, or worse than, the Marauders. 4
Lily decides to kiss Severus once in fifth year, just to see what kissing is like. 4
What if Lily had simply forgiven Severus after the incident by the lake? 3
What if she and James had kept Sirius as their secret keeper? 3
When Severus hints to Lily about Lupin in fourth year, in connection to James' 'heroics', Lily gets curious about the possibility of him being a werewolf rather than dismissing Severus' concerns. 3
When Sev says his father "doesn't like anything much" Lily becomes concerned and decides to delve deeper into this issue and help in some way, as opposed to continuing with the questions on Azkaban. 2
Lily figures out about Lupin being a werewolf before Severus does. 1
That day by the park when Severus jumps out of the bushes to say 'hi' to Lily and Petunia, Lily decided to stay home instead. 1
Lily manages to convince the Marauders to stop bullying Severus in third year, before he was that deep in with the future Death Eaters.
Lily drags Severus to a compartment where they can be alone, on their first trip to Hogwarts, so James and Sirius don't hear their talk.