The weakness of a criminal mastermind

Chapter 6

Somewhere in Ireland

Mulch Diggums sighed as he sank into his seat at the American styled diner and pulled down his hat. Even Ireland, where seeing the sun was rarer than a blue moon was too sunny for the dwarf.

"Damn mud child" He grumbled to himself as his tombstone teeth dug into his extra-large beef cheese with onions, mushrooms, lettuce and for some reason rocky road ice-cream burger, finishing it in one bite.

Mulch had no idea how he did it but Fowl did what pony boy couldn't. He found him. And of course what else could he do but blackmail the poor Dwarf. And his life in LA was so nice. So many rich mud men to steal from, even if it was a bit too easy for his taste. But he definitely preferred it to facing an angry Root. All the mud boy had to do is find a way to communicate with people and Mulchs' life of luxury would be over, they'd probably throw him in a cell with a few goblins. He shuddered at thought. Although it had been centuries since mud men and the People shared communications Mulch was certain that the criminal prodigy would do it.

For the umpteenth that day Mulch Diggums sighed.

Fowl Manor, Ireland

Angeline Fowl, debatably the most Lady like woman in Ireland was turning red from laughing so hard at her scowling son, gasping apologies between laughs. Even Butler looked amused. Especially his charges reaction to his mothers' hysterics. As much as the Irish youth would deny it, he was folding his arms, scowling and looked moments away from stomping his foot. It was all so childish and un-Artemis-like.

What caused this laughter you might ask. Well it was what happened to Artemis

'"Who did you rig the ballet to win?" The person who stood up and spoke loudly and clearly surprised everyone, even Artemis, not that it showed (thank you Artemis senior) it was Tara O'Neil

"Secrets" Artemis said, surprisingly playful. He looked back on his statement and scowled

I'm spending too much time with mother

"Ooh it seems that the person to come in second place was a Tara O' Neil" The principle smiled a vampire smile that wasn't nearly as threatening as Artemis' with his chubby face. Tara blushed and seemed to become shy again, realising what that meant. A mere twelve seconds later everyone else caught on and started wolf whistling and yelling stuff like "Well in!" To Artemis who stood there trying not to look conflicted.

What does that even mean? Artemis thought Back to the point, this man shouldn't be a principle it's not like I did because I like her but the real reason is just as embarrassing

"Mr Guiney, are you done yet?" Artemis asked testily seeing the smirk on the supposed grown mans' face.

"Done doing what?" Mr Guiney asked innocently, even if his smirk betrayed him "You can go back and sit near your girlfriend now …Mr president"

Artemis resisted the low growl forming in his throat. He went down and retook his seat, which was only three away from Tara, which he berated himself for planning as everyone started whispering or whistling.

And that's when Tara whispered to him "Thanks" and then looked away blushing.

Despite himself Artemis smirked in amusement.'

Which brought them to where they were.

"That's it, you people laugh too much! I'm late for an appointment Butler come on!" Artemis snapped in embarrassment.

"Yes sir" and with that said master and manservant left, Angeline too busy laughing to stop them.

Little did they know that below ground a group of fairies were laughing as well except for Holly who couldn't figure out why she felt slightly peeved.

Somewhere in Ireland

"Hello Mr Diggums" A certain mud boy said, sliding in to the booth the dwarf was sitting in.

"Hello Master Fowl" Mulch grinned his most threatening grin, showing all his teeth. Artemis just laughed coldly at the attempt and Butler glared. Sighing, Mulch leaned into the table "So what do you want from me mud boy?"

Artemis laughed "Oh Mr Diggums you're going to love this job"

Authors note

The plot thickens ^w^

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