CHAPTER 5
Christina takes out a girl from the other group's team who had her paintball gun aimed at me when she stepped out from behind a tree.
"Thanks," I say. She hums in acknowledgment, concentrating more on the game. I guess she is more focused now that she got her protective best friend talk out of the way.
"Do you have any idea where the flag could be?" she asked me.
"Green blends in well with trees and bushes, so they may have hid it in one of the many out here, but that would take all night," I sigh. "Or they could have taken the easy route and it could be in one of these buildings".
I make a complete 360 when I think I hear something and pull Christina behind a tree. People from the other team round the corner with their guns at the ready but I shoot one as the other hides behind the wall of a building.
The majority of the game is a blur. Although, Christina isn't as bad as I thought she was. We fell into an easy rhythm, sparking a mutual trust to guard each other's backs during the game. We split up to take out more members of the other team, they have their people in clusters in front of a small clearing which we believe is where the flag is.
"I'll shoot from one side, you shoot from the other. After everyone is down we can rip the flag right out of their hands. Don't screw up." she says as my eyebrows raise. A girl with a competitive streak, intriguing. I smirk.
"Meet me at the treeline in 5," she says over her shoulder before sprinting off.
As I turn to initiate my part of the plan of taking out the other team, I walk a few paces before coming face to face with the exact person I've been trying to avoid. He glares and holds his gun at the ready, shoulders tense. My stance mirrors his.
"Let me just warn you," he starts. "I don't know what you said to my girlfriend to get her to trust you, but I am not as willing to hold hands and sing songs around the fire with the likes of you. If you even think about messing with her or any of us, I will take pleasure in making you regret it." Four's glare hardens. I smirk.
"If only you knew." I see confusion shine in his hard eyes and I shoot him in the thigh. before he can recover, he stumbles but unfortunately doesn't fall and walks off glaring in the direction for eliminated players.
I don't have time to contemplate our interaction; Instead, I focus on the game and take out the two remaining players on Zeke's team. I manage to get everyone but Zeke, who moves through the trees I assume-based on rustling leaves-but it is too dark to see where. I decide to meet Christina back at the treeline and deal with him later.
She is waiting, her head turns sharply when the leaves crunch under the soles of my shoes. She relaxes when I am recognized.
"Good," she praises."Now let's move".
The trek back is uneventful and the game ends with Christina distracting Zeke long enough for me to sneak and get the flag, it is a close call because Zeke eliminates Christina just as I reach the flag. He turns quickly to shoot me but is a second too late. Christina and I head back to the team victorious and receive loud whoops in recognition. Tris comes up to hug me once again and I hug back briefly.
"You did it!" she says. "I'm so proud of you". She is covered in paint splatters.
"Yeah," I say. Four glared at me from his position next to Zeke. I take petty satisfaction in my victory over him.
We stay in the field a while longer. Tris and Four walk off to the Ferris Wheel. I keep my eye on them, glancing over every few minutes just to make sure she's okay. I decide to get comfortable under the carousel as the others run and laugh in the open field, their black silhouettes contrasting against the midnight blue sky littered with stars. Christina plots down out of breath and panting after a while. We mostly sit in silence, but spark up a conversation here and there. My eyes search for Tris. She and Four sit in the lowest cart of the wheel, stationed on the ground. From the faint outline of their bodies, I can tell they are close together, having an intimate moment. My lips pursed in disapproval.
It's a peaceful night with the occasional warm breeze. Its around 3:00 am when Tobias and I are sitting in the cart on the Ferris Wheel. The stars are bright in the sky. I watch my friends laugh and jump in the distance. This is our safe space. Despite the happiness surrounding him, Tobias seems disturbed.
"What's wrong? It's just a game" I say massaging the frown line out of Tobias' forehead with my thumb, the rest of my hand caressing his face.
"I don't care about the game," he says. "I'm worried about you."
"Why?"
"I just don't see why you had to bring Eric along. We have ignored him for the past three years, what changed?" he doesn't sound upset, just weary. I wish that I could tell him everything, but I must respect Eric's wishes. Until we find out more information I am just going to have to keep on lying. But what if I did tell him? Would that ruin our relationship? Would his hatred for Eric stem so deep that he can forget everything we have and see me as nothing more than another bain of his existence? The thought makes me panic.
"It's alright, I know you will tell me when your ready, I didn't mean to pry," he says, his hand guiding my head to his shoulder and then resting it on my leg. Before my horrible thoughts and emotions can infect my brain again, I bring his head down to kiss him and he responds back immediately. The warmth I am surrounded by makes my eyes droop. Our kisses turn passionate and desperate and I realize just how much I miss Tobias. Just being with him.
"We should spend the day together tomorrow. Just me and you, no friends, no jobs, no interruptions, and no shopping." I say and smile at the realization. He chuckles.
"I would like that a lot," he says. This coaxes another smile out of me.
Our foreheads rest against each other before I bring my head back down to the crook of his neck, I feel my eyelids getting heavy once again.
I am roused by a hand rubbing my leg. Tobias tells me everyone is ready to head back to the compound. We get down and join the group.
Searching for Eric, I find him standing up from the carousel he seems to look as tired as I feel. He catches my eye and smiles, the lights from the carousel reflecting in his eyes. I smile back. I wonder if we look alike when we are smiling. I will have to ask him if he sees any of the same features or similar tendencies in us. I don't think they would be too noticeable.
We trek back to the train with light, murmured conversations. On the train Tobias pulls me closer to him, I comply but am unable to get comfortable knowing my brother is watching. Tobias looks down at me and raises an eyebrow but I just give him a comforting smile.
The next day while Tobias is still sleeping I bring breakfast to Eric's apartment, I can't spend time with Tobias if he is unconscious.
"Good Morning," I greet. He nods and grabs the second tray from my hand. "Did you have fun last night?"
"Yeah, Christina is pretty cool, not that I would ever admit that to anyone else," he says as I smirk. He turns serious "There is actually something I need to talk to you about."
"Okay," I say. He tenses and hesitates.
"Well, yesterday I...I noticed that you haven't told Four about our...situation, and you can if you want to." He says uncomfortably.
"Oh...um...sure I can tell him, I was just waiting for the right time," Nodding awkwardly, he digs into his food.
"There is actually something I wanted to bring up with you too," I say. "I was on the phone with my parents a few days ago and I told them I may have found you, they want to meet you. Would you be willing to come to visit them with me tomorrow? I know it's a sensitive subject but it would mean the world to them, and to me if you came."
"Tris…" he says warningly. I regret asking when I see the pain in his eyes, but I persist.
"Please, if you go this once you never have to go again. I think this would be really good for you" I continue.
"And who are you to be the judge of that?!" he raises his voice. Where did that outburst come from?
"You don't even know me, you only know what I tell you. Your family abandoned me, left me out on the streets, they didn't care what happened to me. All they cared about was making sure their reputation was kept up and their bastard baby was a secret. All my life I have been alone with nobody to depend on, and I've come this far. You've only known me,really known me, for a few weeks so don't think for a second you know what is good for me Stiff!"
"I was only trying to help, you could have just said no," I glare through my tears, refusing to let them fall.
"I don't know why you thought you could. I told you this was a bad idea from the start. But you just had to take pity on the outcast," he says venomously.
"I didn't mean it like that-" I start.
"They have known about me for twenty-one years and have kept their distance, so I will return the favor. Why should I reach out now that your perfect little family wants to make amends? I'm not some charity case that you can use to heal your conscious. They wanted no parts of me before so I want no parts of them now, or you for that matter." he says walking towards the door and opening it, gesturing for me to leave.
"You're not some charity case. You are my brother and I am so sorry for what my parents did, but that's not my fault! If you want me to give up, fine, message received. Have a nice life." I croak, tears now running freely down my face as I walk out. He slams the door after me.
"I will!" he screams through the door.
I stalk from his apartment back to my own ignoring the stares I receive on the way. Slamming the door open, Tobias is awake, moving around the kitchen. He is cooking something on the stove top. He looks up smiling again, just like he was the first time I can back from my first talk with Eric. His smile fades and he turns off the stove before coming over to examine my face.
"What happened?" he asks, but I just cry harder until sobs wrack my body. He pulls me to him. How did this happen? How could I have possibly screwed this up after I promised myself I wouldn't? My tears get soaked up by his shirt and once I can breathe steadily again, I decide to tell him everything.
"Your probably the dumbest person I know," Foster says. I didn't know who else to call after my argument with Tris. Foster and I have been hanging out more recently. I consider him my close friend, well he is my only friend.
"Don't you think I know that!" I say angrily. As soon as the words left my lips I regretted them. but as I started to apologize more stupid shit came out of my mouth. I didn't mean it, I don't know what happened, I was just... angry. Tris got a perfect life, and I got nothing. Everything I had suppressed just resurfaced at the thought of meeting her parents. "I brought you here to tell me what to do not to criticize me. I know I messed up, how do I fix it?" I tell Foster.
He lays on my couch, his caramel arm covering his brown eyes, as the other one hangs off the side, brushing the floor. I look at him before I keep pacing.
"Well, obviously you have to apologize. Even though your anger is justified, you took it out on the wrong person. She was just trying to help" he says, arms briefly coming from across his eyes to give me an incredulous look.
"I'm sorry, am I bothering you with my problems while you lounge around in the comfort of my home," I say exasperated. He just smirks. I miss when he used to be afraid of me.
"Well now that you mention it your pacing is discomforting to my aura." he gestures wildly. " Your tense vibes are killing my mellow bro".
"You're an idiot," I say. "We need to focus, Tris wants nothing to do with me, I lost the only family I had".
Jax sits up, "Look man, everyone says stupid things, some screw up more than others-you- but at least you realize that family makes mistakes, but no matter how infuriating they are, they stick by you and you have to do the same. Take it from someone who has fought countless times with his family. When my sister left Dauntless, it tore my family apart, but I was determined to keep us together, you should do the same. I think Tris was just upset, but if she isn't willing to forgive you, she wasn't really your family in the first place", he says soberly.
Jax is a Dauntless-born, his parents live on the other side of the compound. He resembles more of his mother, same kind eyes, and smile. Jax had a mix of his mother's deep complexion and his fathers pale one, giving him a constantly tanned look. His curly brown hair and brown eyes were all from his mother, but he got his fathers nose and smile. I wonder what I got from my mother. I have met Jax's parents, Sharon and Pete, once before. They seemed like great people who loved their children very much, that's one less thing I have going for me. Jax is one of four children, three of them are still here; His sister, Mia, left Dauntless for Amity two years ago, an uncommon switch, but from what I hear she is happy. Jax is the only one in his family who speaks to her now. I remember seeing Jax's parents heartbroken at her choosing ceremony. His mother cried silently, tears streamed down her beautifully aged face. His father soothed her, his fingers wiped away her tears, holding in his own. You can tell Jax's parents love each other dearly, I wonder if mine do too.
"Yeah, I guess so" I conclude. I guess the stress of everything just got me to me, getting to know Tris and not being able to tell anyone about Max's plans. I think about asking Jax about it now, but something tells me we are not in the most secure location. He doesn't seem like the type of person to be on board, but if Max did tell him and he refused he wouldn't be here right now. I hope for both of our sakes that he is going along like I am. I thought about telling Tris about his plans early, but I ended up babbling about how I was okay with her nuisance of a boyfriend knowing everything, when I don't think I am. That is much more information than I want Four to know about me.
Foster leaves an hour later, our conversation much lighter after I decide to stop pacing and deal with mending the relationship with my sister later.
I go down to the Dining Hall; The day's events have left me too tired to cook. Waiting in line, I look over to Tris table. Four glared daggers at me and Tris keeps her head down. Four rubs her shoulder soothingly. Christina smiles sympathetically. I assume she told them. Great.
As quickly as I can I grab my food and walk out of the Dining Hall, heading back to my apartment to eat. Alone.
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