Chapter 6

Notes: I want to thank everyone for all the faves, reviews and follows, it really makes my day to know so many people like this story! I really love this show, and the characters, and I really tried to do a good job and do them all justice. I also really liked Emily, so I decided to build on what we learned in The Legend of Das Geisterschloss, that Lee and Emily went way back professionally, and were good friends.

Amanda awoke to the wonderful smell of freshly brewing coffee, and breakfast cooking.

"Ah! Amanda! I hope I didn't wake you." Emily said pleasantly as she flitted about the kitchen

"No, no, it's okay. Emily, you didn't have to do this. You're my guest, it's me who should've been doing the cooking, not you." Amanda said.

"You sure look better than you did last night." Emily said cheerily, choosing to ignore Amanda's scolding as she poured her a steaming cup of fresh coffee.

"I feel better, you were right, a nice long bath and a good night's sleep really puts things into prospective." Amanda said as she reached for the cream.

"See? Didn't I tell you?" Emily said, brandishing her spoon at her as she stirred cream into her cup of coffee.

"And you will find that tomorrow will be better, and the next day better still." Emily said as she served their breakfast.

A smile crossed Amanda's face for the first time since the incident happened, before her expression turned serious again.

"Emily … but … what if I have to … do it again?" She asked, Emily froze, her fork full of eggs and sausage half way to her mouth, she studied Amanda for a moment, and her expression melted into one of empathy.

"Amanda, you are in training to be an agent and I am going to tell you straight; as an agent you will at some point have to shoot someone. You might have to kill someone to save yourself, your partner, or most importantly … to protect the public. As an agent, that is your duty." Emily said.

"So you just … get numb to it? I don't know if I can do that!" Amanda said, defeated.

"No, Amanda, you don't get numb to it and I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but it doesn't. Let me ask you this, if you hadn't shot George Nukem, would he have shot Lee?" Emily asked.

"Yes." Amanda replied as she thought back to that night.

"Okay, if you had somehow tried to distract him instead of shooting him, would he have shot you?" Emily asked.

"Yes." Amanda replied.

"I'm going to be frank with you, Nukem was a terrible man, he killed a lot of innocent people, and helped many more kill innocent people through his weapons smuggling ring. I'd be lying if I told you that I am sad he's dead, as far as I am concerned it's one less scumbag in the world." Emily said, a hard look in her eyes.

"Yes, I read his file, he was a terrible man." Amanda said.

Emily reached across the table and put her hand over Amanda's.

"I am not saying you are wrong for feeling how you are about killing him, you are a good person and it's perfectly natural to feel like that after taking another human life. All I am saying is in my humble opinion, you did the world a huge favor. Now, what do you say we finish our breakfast before it gets cold?" She said.

Lee awoke with a groan, he felt like he hadn't even slept; his still healing body protesting his choice to sleep on the couch. It didn't help that he was plagued all night by nightmares about last night's events.

Amanda shooting Nukem, and the expression on her face after.

Nukem shooting him and making Amanda watch.

Nukem shooting Amanda and making him watch.

He slowly sat up, feeling ten years older than he was. He suddenly had an almost irresistible urge to go to Amanda's house, and see how she was doing. He hadn't heard anything from her since he dropped her off last night and it was making him crazy.

Now that he thought about it, everything about Amanda made him crazy; he had never met anyone like her. She confused him, she frustrated him, one minute she would make him so mad he couldn't see straight, then she'd turn right around and make him so grateful that he wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go.

She was the kind of person that made a lasting impression on people, and he was no exception. At first he tried to deny that there was something there, but the more time they spent together, the less he could deny it. Then somewhere along the way, he found himself not wanting to deny it anymore.

And now she was the one pushing him away.

'So THIS is how it felt.' He thought to himself as he heaved a huge sigh as recalled all the times he had pushed her away and put her on the back burner as he pursued his different conquests. For so long he had seen her as the inferior suburban housewife, not cut out for this business, or for the likes of him; but now he realized how wrong he'd been.

First she had surprised him with her wit, her intuition and her ability to think on her feet, even in the most dangerous of situations. Hell, she had even saved his ass more than a few times and no matter how nasty and dismissive he was to her, she always responded with a kindness and patience that god knows he didn't deserve.

Of course that didn't mean she was permissive of his behavior, she always held him to his word, and never let him weasel out of anything. She made him strive to be not only a better agent, but a better man as well; and somewhere along the way, though he wasn't sure where, he had fallen in love with the feisty little mother of two from Arlington.

He remembered how embarrassing it had been when Serdeych reared his ugly head again and his whole sorted past was hung out there for everyone, including Amanda to see. It was then that he realized just what a son of a bitch he'd been. He had never intended to hurt anyone, and he had always made sure all the women he was with knew there was no potential for a serious relationship. But that still didn't make it right.

He sighed again and ran his hands through his hair, it was that moment he realized that it was he who wasn't good enough for Amanda, not the other way around. She deserved better, she deserved someone who could give her a normal life, and a normal relationship. She had been right, he had treated her like she was a burden most of the time, hell, he had even used her to sell his covers, even going as far as hitting her.

But she wasn't a burden, she was an asset, not only to the Agency, but to him as well and he kicked himself for taking so long to realize that.

But what if she burns out? What are you going to do, then?' The nasty little voice in his head whispered. The very thought of doing this job without her sent waves of panic that reverberated through his entire soul; he didn't want to do it without her … he didn't know if he could.

Amanda knew she had to talk to Lee, she had to face him at some point, but that would also mean she would have to face the reality of what happened that night. And that if she was going to be an agent, it would mean accepting the fact that she would have to, at some point, kill someone.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Emily asked as Amanda saw her out.

The truth? Amanda didn't want her to leave, but she knew that she had to start dealing with this on her own, she didn't want to give up on herself, and she didn't want to let Lee down.

Emily pulled her into a hug.

"You make sure you call me if you need anything, understood?"

Amanda smiled as she hugged her tightly.

"I will, Emily, I promise." She said as she waved a final goodbye as she walked out of Amanda's house.

Emily didn't bother to hide her smile when she caught a glimpse of a familiar silver corvette, parked about a block or two down the street. Chuckling to herself, she got into her car and picked up the receiver of her car phone.

Lee jumped as his phone rang.

"Stetson." He growled annoyingly into the receiver.

"Well, are you just going to sit there and spy on her all day, or are you going to go and talk to her?"

"Emily? …. What are you talking about?" Lee tried to feign ambiguousness.

Emily blew out a sigh.

"About a block away, behind the little red car on the left." She replied.

Lee grinned bashfully in spite of himself, he was busted, and he knew it.

"Can't hide anything from you, can I?" He said.

"Of course not! I know you too well, I watched you cut your teeth in this business, remember?" She said playfully as they shared a laugh.

There was a moment of silence between them before she spoke.

"Lee, what are you doing?"

Lee hesitated for a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"What the bloody hell are sitting out here for, spying on her! Just go and knock on the door already!" She chastised him.

"I am not spying! I just …. I wanted to make sure she was okay after everything that happened!" Lee said indignantly.

"You could have called, or come by for a visit." She said wryly.

"I … errr …" Lee stammered, he didn't have an answer for her; he knew what he was doing was underhanded at best, and downright dirty at worst but he couldn't help it. It was making him crazy not knowing how she was, or if she was okay.

"She said …. She said she didn't want to see me." He said, his voice breaking with emotion.

"She just needed a little space to sort through everything that happened, Lee! She didn't mean stay away forever!" Emily said with an amused chuckle.

In all the years she had known Lee, she had never seen him like this with anyone, let alone a woman. Lee had always kept people at arm's length, never letting anyone get too close. She imagined it was partly out of necessity due to his line or work, close relationships in the spy business could mean trouble. He tried to do the same with Amanda, but he couldn't, she was special.

From his end of the line, Lee heard Emily blow out a sigh.

"Lee my boy, you were the best I'd seen in a long time come out of training, and you went on to become one of the best agents the Agency has ever had, but you, my dear are quite the plonker!" She said.

"Quite the what?!" Lee repeated indignantly.

"You heard me ... and if you're not, then prove me wrong." She said as she cut their connection.

Lee gave the receiver a final indignant look before slamming it back down as he watched Emily pull away and disappear down the street.

Like it or not, she was right, he took a deep steadying breath , started the car and slowly pulled slowly closer to her house, opting to stay a half block away just to be safe.

Amanda busied herself with tidying up the kitchen, pleasantly humming to herself. She had always taken joy in such simple, mundane tasks for it was a labor of love for her family, and her home.

Lee crept up to the back window and stole a peek inside and his heart melted at the sight of Amanda tidying up her kitchen, humming to herself, looking happy and content for the first time since all this happened.

He drew in a breath and knocked on the back door, and waited. It seemed to take an eternity for her to answer it. He could hear her footsteps getting closer, his hands grew sweaty, and his heart was pounding in his ears. He started to panic, what if she turned him away? Said she never wanted to see him again? Said she was leaving the agency? He didn't think his heart could take it.

The door opened and she appeared; her hair was thrown up into a messy bun, and she was wearing an old frumpy sweatshirt that was a size or two too big, but he didn't care, to him she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

They both stood wordlessly looking at one another for what seemed like a fortnight until Amanda broke the silence.

"Would you like to come in?" She asked as she walked back inside, leaving the door open for him to follow her.

He practically floated through the door.

"Would you like some coffee? I still have some left over from breakfast." She said.

"Uhhh … sure …" he said as he jammed his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

She smiled sweetly as she poured two cups, finishing out the pot. He couldn't help but grin as he watched her make it just the way he liked it without even having to pause and think about it.

"Lee … I'm sorry." She said, he opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him.

"No, I have to talk about this, I can't avoid it forever. If I am going to be an agent, I have to come to terms with this and deal with it." She said, his heart leapt, so she didn't want to quit the Agency after all! At least that was something!

"And I want to start by saying that I'm sorry I pushed you away that night. I just … every time I looked at you I saw what I did … not that I am blaming you, of course I'm not!" she added quickly when she saw a look of betrayal and hurt cross Lee's handsome features.

"And I just … needed to get away from it, you know?" She finished in that famous, rambling way she talked when she had something important to say.

Lee took her hands in his.

"Yeah, I hear you, I still remember my first shooting like it was yesterday." He said.

"Yeah you had nightmares for weeks." She finished for him.

"Emily told me." she said in response to his raised eyebrow.

He couldn't help it anymore, he pulled her into a hug.

"Amanda, I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted you to be in a position where you would have to kill someone." He said, his voice breaking with emotion.

Tears stung Amanda's eyes, not for herself, but for him, she could feel the pain and the anguish in his embrace.

"Oh, Lee I never blamed you! But I know I made it seem that way, and I am so so sorry!" she said as she wrapped her arms around him and drew him closer, relishing in the comfort his strong embrace gave her.

They both pulled back at the same time and stared into each other's eyes.

Lee's mouth suddenly felt very dry.

"Amanda, I …" he started but her finger on his lips and her hand behind his head stopped him. Who was he kidding, he couldn't resist even if he wanted to. His eyes twinkled playfully as he cupped her face and moved in to kiss her.

It was then they heard it.

"Amanda!? I'm home!"

"Oh god, mother!" Amanda hissed as they broke apart.

"Out the back, quick!" She said as she ran to the front to help Dotty with her bags and whatever else she came home with.

"My gosh, mother! Did you buy out every tourist shop along the way!" Amanda said with a laugh as she helped Dotty haul everything up the stairs.

"Well, when I saw something I liked, or something someone else would like, I bought it!" Dotty said cheerfully as she dumped her catch out onto the bed while Amanda busied herself helping put away All Dotty's clothes.

Amanda shook her head endearingly at her mother and happened to glance out the window.

Lee grinned up at her as he gave her a wave; Amanda smiled and waved back, he blew her a kiss and gave her a wink before turning to walk to his car. Amanda watched him go, a grin still plastered across her face as she felt the heat rise to her cheeks.

She jumped as Dotty touched her on the shoulder.

"Amanda, have you heard a word I said?" She asked as Amanda turned around.

"Do you feel alright? You look a little pinked." Dotty said as she put her hand on Amanda's forehead.

"No, no mother, I'm fine, just fine." She said as she offered her mother what she hoped was a convincing, reassuring smile.

"Well, alright." Dotty said as she returned to her loot.

Amanda stole one more glance out the window just in time to see a familiar silver vette pull away and she smiled to herself.

Notes: Well that's a wrap for my first SMK story (which I hope will be the first of many more!) I hope you liked it! I am sorry it was so long LOL.

Also, the term "plonker" means "Dope, idiot, moron, dunderhead, but is in no way meant maliciously."