DRAG ME UNDER

TOBIAS

Tris was sick.

The fever she had seemed to only grow worse as nights fell, and days dragged on. She had fallen back to sleep without difficulty, though even with her eyes closed, she seemed to be restless. She had nightmares often. It seemed her night was plagued with them. If she wasn't screaming, or crying, she would sob, hands fisting into the bed.

The first night during her sickness, she had woke him in the early hours of the new day. She was screaming, arms and legs thrashing wildly, throwing the duvet and other assortment of blankets on the floor. He had rushed in quickly, terrified by what he might be walking into. He saw her sitting upright on the bed, face soaked in sweat, legs and arms tangled in the sheets. Her eyes were wide with fear, and her hands were visibly trembling. She was shaken to the core.

She was looking at him. Eyes wide open with terror. "It was so real…" She whispered, and almost on instinct he moved to her. He was by her side in a matter of moments. "I remember it so clearly…." She whispered, closing her eyes. Under the small light, he could see her pupils darting from side to side beneath her eyelids. He placed his hand on her arm. It was cold, small, so fragile. Tris didn't pull away.

"Why did they do that? Why me? Why did they do that to me?" She whimpered, crying in distraught. Her sobs filled the empty room.

"I don't know." Tobias found himself saying.

Her cries stopped, and her ears perked up, listening to him. His heart leapt with a newfound joy, but it soon plummeted, when she recoiled from his touch, digging her fingernails into her temples. "It hurts." She sobbed. "Make it stop." Looking at her now broke his heart. She was in so much pain; she had experienced more pain than any adult should've in their lifespan. She was so young, too young to have all that done to her.

He drew her closer to his chest without a second thought. She didn't fight his actions and rather clung onto his shirt, crying into it. He hummed softly as he rocked her, trying to give the small girl any sort of comfort.

"I was only six years old! Why would they do that to me?" She whispered, eyes looking up at him for an answer. An answer he couldn't give.

Instead, he placed a gentle hand on her forehead, hoping it would cool her down, but he removed his hand quickly. She was burning up. She was coming down with a fever. He pulled the blankets up and around her shoulders, tucking the corners around her. She was starting to get a fever, and it was only going to get worse and worse as the night dragged on.

"You're sick. You need to lie down." He instructed, lowering her back down onto the bed carefully. He could feel her watching her, her eyes focused on him, as he shuffled and moved the blankets around, trying to make her comfortable enough for the next few hours.

"Why did you save me? Why me?" She asked suddenly. He spared a moment to glance at her; her face was covered in a thin layer of sweat, and she was as pale as the day he met her.

He shrugged and gave her a simple honest answer. "Because I knew you were worth saving. You're pure, innocent, and most of all, you deserve to live." He was stroking her forehead, whilst she looked at him, observing him. His face scrunched up at his next sentence. "I hate what they did to you. And I know how difficult it must be to accept a life that isn't… that." She looked away. "But you deserve better Tris. You deserve so much better."

"I was so scared all the time—" She began but he interjected.

He lowered his gaze. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Tris winced when she spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper. "The mental control they had over me, it was terrifying. Every rational thought told me to leave… But I didn't… They told me I was dirty… That no one would love me after what they did to me… And they were right." She responded sleepily. Her eyes were closing fast; an obvious side effect to the nasty fever.

"That's not true." Tobias objected, watching her as her eyes closed. "It's not true because I think I may be falling in love with you." He whispered, but she didn't hear. She was already asleep in his arms.

Tobias sat with her that night; his hands wrapped firmly around her. She wasn't so comfortable with human contact when awake, but it seemed she slept better with soothing hands that calmed her shaking body. From time to time, she would still have nightmares but not ones so severe as the one he had seen on the very first night. He hadn't had the heart to ask her what had shaken her so much. He could sense she was still sensitive about the subject.

"She'll tell me when she's ready." He said to himself.

Why do you keep on making her remember? Why do you insist on looking at her that way? You know she can never return those feelings for you. She hates everyone. She doesn't trust anyone. What makes you think she will trust you?

"I'm not!" Tobias cried, shaking his head at its words. "I'm—I'm trying to help her." He fumbled for words. "She needs my help. She needs me." He whispered, clamping his eyes shut firmly.

You're deluding yourself if you think she feels the same. She'll never feel the same way…

"I don't care! I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life looking after her, even if she never feels the same way. I'll be whatever she wants me to be; whether that's a friend, a brother, or possibly more." His voice was almost inaudible. His words had even shocked himself, though it seemed to only spur the voice.

I don't think that's true… The voice teased. Tobias could almost feel it smirking at him. You look at her the way… The way you used to look at her.

"Don't you dare bring her up." Tobias yelled, slamming his fists into the wall. It left small imprints of his anger. The voice didn't answer. It had gone. But it would be back.

He pushed the bed sheets aside, careful not to wake Tris, who had finally gotten some peaceful sleep. "I need some air." He deliberated.

…

Her.

Tobias didn't dare to speak her name. But the thought of her made his lips tingle and quiver anxiously. "She's not here." Tobias had to remind himself. "She's gone." He closed his eyes and let the darkness calm his mind. When he re-opened his eyes, he was met by bright light. He focused his eyes on the swaying branches of the tree across the road. Once they had settled, readjusting nicely to the sudden change in brightness, his feet quickly padded down the stairs. He exited the apartment block and took a right. He didn't know where he was going so he let his heart take him somewhere. The cold winds nipped at his skin, chipping away the nutrition from the flesh that was bare. It irritated him, and he pushed his neck deeper into his scarf.

Winter was fast approaching, and winter in Chicago was always the worst; heavy rains and winds that could literally knock you off your feet. He scurried along, hurrying his pace as he went. He dug his hands into his coat jacket; suddenly wishing he hadn't left the warmth and safety of his apartment. He looked down at the pavement as he walked. He passed all sorts of people but kept his head bowed down, afraid to meet someone he knew. He really wasn't in a mood for a chat today. No, he was far too distracted for that.

Not long after, he came to a halt. Not a slow one, an abrupt one. Tobias looked up and saw the familiar bright sign. A bright smile appeared on his lips. He swiftly entered the building, exiting not long after with his purchases safely tucked under his arm, all the while, the same beam on his face.

He was almost home when he bumped into him. He scowled as he bent over to pick up the bag he had dropped. Though all and any traces of anger and irritation faded once he saw who it was.

"Christina?" He almost yelled, "Is that you?" He pulled her into a hug. Her small frame allowed her to be fully engulfed by his taller body.

She hugged him back, greeting her friend. "It's nice to see you too Tobias!"

"It's so refreshing to hear your voice." He commented, and he saw her frown. He quickly retracted his sentence, "I mean, it's always nice to see you but it's just all I've heard the past few days are nasty coughs and wheezing. It's not exactly the best thing to wake up and fall asleep to." He laughed, trying to enlighten the mood. It didn't work.

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Are you okay? You're not sick, are you?"

"It's not me." He chuckled again, avoiding her eyes. "It's um—It's Tris."

The creases in her forehead deepened. "Who's Tris?" She asked skeptically, placing her hand on her hips.

"She's um…" He sighed. "You promise to listen and to not judge or comment, or do anything, until I finish?" He asked hopefully. When she nodded in agreement, he began to tell her the tale of the past few weeks—how everything had come to be. Between finding her in the river, to the hospital, to how she was very sensitive to men—and other people too. He didn't spare any gory details, except the full of her nightmares. He didn't want to scare her off.

Christina kept her promise. Her lips remained sealed throughout the whole recap of events. Though she did let a gasp and a trail of words escape her lips when he had told her of Tris' ordeal. "That's so awful!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "Poor girl. I can't even begin to imagine how she's feeling." Tobias could see in her eyes that she was as genuinely concerned for Tris as much as he was now. He relaxed a little at this.

Initially he was weary of telling anyone of his—and Tris'—situation. In fact, he had been avoiding all his college mates, and hadn't been doing much of anything, really. He was so lost for what he could do. What if he ran into someone—much like he had with Christina just then—and they didn't take it nicely? What if they threatened to take her from him? Tobias couldn't even begin to grasp what would happen if that occurred. So, ultimately, he just cut himself from society and remained at home. Where he was needed; where he was able to take care of her.

He liked to do that. Take care of her. It made him feel important again; useful. It opened his heart to emotions again—emotions he hadn't felt in a very long time.

"How is she?" Christina interrupted. They were back in his apartment building, entering the lift that brought him to level ten. "How is she dealing with all of it?"

He strode in first, pressing the button before answering her question. "I don't know. She seems fine. But I don't think she's been dealing with any of it—I think she's just avoiding it altogether. She doesn't talk about it, but I know her nights are frequented by the memories. She's haunted by them."

Christina's face fell. "That usually happens when someone goes through something as traumatic as that. I thought you'd know that better than anyone." She glanced at him, casting him a small smile. "Sorry." She quickly apologized, realizing her mistake.

"No, it's okay." Tobias commented. "I can talk about it now. I got through it okay, but she doesn't seem like she wants to get better at all. When I first brought her to the hospital, she—she kept saying she wanted to die, Christina." His voice turned into a whisper. Hands visibly shaking.

She blew a heavy breath. "You got better because you had someone there for you. And she will too. I'm not a doctor or anything—maybe one in training—but I think the best thing for her is to have someone there to listen to her. She will open up when the time comes." She offered the advice with a sad smile.

The elevator door dinged, letting them know they had arrived on their level. Christina exited promptly, turning left, then a hook right. She left him standing there, thinking over her words. He soon joined her at his apartment door, where he found her tapping her feet on the wooden floorboards impatiently. He shoved in the key and opened the door.

He winced at the scraping sound the door when it swung wide. He allowed her to enter first, and then closed it behind him as he too walked in. She waited for him, and he pointed her at the bedroom door, directing her silently with his eyes.

She gave him a nod before disappearing into the little room. He caught up to her in a matter of moments and found her standing at the base of the bed, peering at the other girl curiously.

"Is she—Is she alright?" Tobias mumbled, eyes darting with concern.

Christina gave a smile. "Of course. It's just a fever, should disappear in a few days. I'm not a doctor yet but I am sure she'll be fine." She looked over him, frowning. "But I don't think you'll be. You look bad Tobias. You need to rest as well." She instructed, pressing him into the chair next to the bed. "You need to heal too. You've been too stressed, too worried. You need to take some time for yourself." When she saw that his worried expression didn't fade, she spoke once more. "She'll be okay, Tobias. You've done an amazing job. She just needs time to heal now."

"I can't—" He tried to object.

She didn't have any of that. She held her hand up and he stopped. "I'll watch over her. Get some rest."

Tobias nodded at her instructions, and found himself crawling into the bed. He fell asleep to the sound of Tris' even breaths, beside him, and his own racing heart.

A/N: For those who were curious about the voice inside Tobias' head… No, it's not schizophrenia, its just like those inside voices that make you doubt yourself. Not all people get it, but some people… People who have been in traumatic situations sometimes experience this. You will learn more of this later. Hope you enjoyed this as usual, and I shall see you next time!

P.S for those who are curious, I usually update every 3/4 days. :)