Author's Note: I want to say that I had no plans on writing all of this tonight. Honestly. I have work early in the morning and while I was waiting for my BFF to get online, I figured I would write a little so that when I get home tomorrow, I could finish. But wow, this chapter really just took off for me and I ended up completing it. So I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
I also want to preface this chapter by saying there are some adult situations that I've been careful about. I want to handle them as nicely as I can for the time being. If you don't feel comfortable reading sex, skip on over the second part of this chapter. For everyone else, I really hope that you like it. As I said in the previous chapter, this one will be centered solely around Nate. There's no Chuck in this chapter, aside from some thoughts. I'll get back into all three of them as the chapters progress.
Also, this is a VanArchiBass novel, in case you haven't heard before. So some of it may be a little unconventional but I truely hope you can all open up and love the VAB as much as I do.
edit: I didn't really edit this at all so there are probably a ton of mistakes. I was just excited to get it up so please excuse the mistakes!
Bad Romance
Chapter Six
"Mad World"
Serena had no idea what she was doing. How had things gotten so confusing in such a short period of time? Her eyes closed as she stood on the elevator. Her finger dangled from the button that slowly closed the doors around her. Finally, solitude. Lately she felt like she was in the middle of a huge crowd, as wild and emcompassing as the sea. She was drowning in all of it. She just needed some time alone.
She tried not to think about that night with Chuck in the hotel.
He had been so gentle. He had been kind, and caring, and tender, and feeling all of the things that she never thought Chuck Bass was even capable of having, let alone illiciting in other people. She stepped back against the wall of the elevator compartment and covered her hand over her face. He had softly kissed her lips in the middle of the empty room.
It had felt special but that feeling didn't have it's own, neat compartement in her mind. It was completely lacking of a category and it drove her crazy. Was she supposed to treat him differently? Was she supposed to expect more out of him? Should she just pretend it never happened? And quite possibly, the biggest question she had, she didn't even have an inkling of an answer to.
Did she tell Nate?
The bell went off before she was ready and it shook her. Jumping slightly, she opened her eyes as the doors parted revealing the stoic form of her lover, Nate Archibald.
When she saw him, her worries weren't sated, but she had an overflowing feeling of warmth spread across her body. He made her feel like she was home, like she had nothing to worry about. She felt like no one could touch her. He would keep her safe, and she knew that. Seeing his face brought a smile across hers as he held out a single, red rose.
"Hey beautiful." He said.
She took the flower with a blush crossing her cheeks as she stepped in and just wrapped her arms around him. He was well built and incredibly handsome, like a movie star. And what mattered most was that he loved her more than she could expect anyone to love her. He was her home, but Chuck felt good too. How did she handle that?
Nate chuckled as she threw herself into his arms. "Well," He rubbed her back. "I missed you too." His voice was soft as he kissed her shoulder then snuggled his face into her hair. She smelled incredible. It made his stomach tighten in excitement. She was his world and he couldn't deny that anymore. "Are you okay?" He asked, pulling back slightly to look into her face.
Serena nodded and laughed lightly at her outburst. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine just.. I have a lot on my mind."
"Well come in and tell me all about it." He said as he waved his arm out towards the room that he'd set up just for her.
Since she was married, he knew they couldn't go out in public. He also knew that had to be difficult for her to be with a man who couldn't express how he felt in front of the world, but he didn't want her to think that he wasn't going to continue making her feel like a princess. He tapped her cheek and gave her a soft kiss before letting her look in. He'd set up tea light candles around to room to light it up. The rest of the lights were off. In the middle of the room, he had laid out a blanket and in the middle was a bottle of her favorite champagne with two crystal glasses and a basket of grapes, cheese cubes and crackers.
He smiles, "I wanted to take you out to the desert. When I was young, the Captain took my mom to Mount Lemon to watch the sunset on the top. She said it was the most beautiful thing she's ever seen, watching the sky and the earth merge into one."
Serena didn't have any idea what to say. She didn't deserve Nate doing this for her but as he spoke of his story, she felt a flutter of butterflies inside of her. She could imagine everything he spoke about. She could feel the cool breeze from the mountain and the retreating daylight over the horizon. She could see them laying together, wrapped in a blanket as they watched the sun give way to a sky full of stars.
It was beautiful.
She shook her head, "Wow, Nate. I really don't.. know what to say."
She turned into him and softly brushed her lips against his. The moment didn't take away from the feelings she had over the night she spent with Chuck, but it did awaken the feelings of love she had inside of her. Was it even possible to care about two men? It wasn't the same amount of care though. Nate had been her everything for a long time and she only happened to open up to Chuck the other night after hearing his father belittle him.
Pulling away, she looked down. "It's beautiful."
He smiled, "Only the best for you." And he meant it, with every fiber of his being. He gave her another gentle kiss and then motioned towards the blanket. "Have a seat. I'll pour us drinks."
She really didn't deserve this, but she grinned and walked towards what he had set up for her.
* * *
It took awhile but soon Serena had gotten into everything. They drank champagne, he fed her grapes and they laughed again. It felt good. It's been so long since she just laughed and forgot about everything that the one simple act was enough, she was sure, to live on for another couple of weeks. She leaned back against a pillow as his lips pressed against hers.
Her body was always a wave of flames when she felt his hands on her skin. It was something she could never explain any other way but saying it was her body knowing how to react against that of her soul mates.
She rose slightly as his hand moved from her hip to her chest. His fingers slid against the buttons, loosening them one at a time to bear herself to him. She had nothing but trust with Nate. She knew he would never hurt her. She knew that he would keep her safe forever. She knew that if she could wake in his arms every morning, she would never have to worry again. Sometime during the last couple of months, she's given her heart to this man.
Her breath was shaky as he lowered his lips to her neck. His kiss slid along her skin, lowering between her breasts with tender touches the whole way. "I want this forever," He whispered against her flesh as he raised his bright eyes to look at her.
Serena hadn't expected it so she looked down at him, head snug in a nest of her own blonde locks. She saw the way he looked at her and she knew that he meant what he said. He wasn't just saying it in the climax of the moment. He was speaking from the heart. It made her own flutter in her rib cage. She felt warm and content. "I do too." She said softly, moving her hand to brush her fingers through his longer strands of hair.
He hadn't planned on saying this, and he surely hadn't wanted to be that guy that says it before he makes love to his woman, but he felt a rise inside him that was going to explode if he didn't say it. With his body half leaning on top of hers, he reaches up for her hand and moves her fingers from his hair. He brings her palm down to his lips, presses a tender kiss to the soft flesh and as he finds her eyes again, sparkling against the candlelight of the room, he whispers. "I love you, Serena. I think I always have, I just never knew it before."
He pushes up her body a little so he's closer to her face. "But I know it now. And I don't care how long I have to wait for you to get through this publicity marriage, i'm still going to love you at the end."
It was the first time he has said those words out loud and it shakes her down to the core. Not in fear or anxiety. Not in worry or shame. But happiness. Pure happiness. She had never felt this way before but now that she did, she was sure she wasn't going to lose it. All her concerns melted away as she leaned forward and kissed him again. "I love you, too, Nate." The smile widened her face without her even realizing it. "And I always will."
She meant every last word of it. It hadn't even occured to her then how much she knew that Nate was the one for her, but she knew it now. Her heart was erupting with emotion as she leaned in slightly and pressed her mouth to his. He tasted like champagne and grapes, and it was the most amazing thing in the world.
Nate felt complete for the first time in his life. He could have sworn that he was living before but it wasn't until he was experiencing this kind of love that he was sure he was truely alive. As he kissed her, he let his hand slip along her stomach, chest and neck to push her shirt off of her body. Slowly he moved his kisses down from her lips to her neck and lower.
Her body arched against him as he easily unsnapped her front clip bra and stripped it off her. She was beautiful, every last inch of her body. His mouth slipped to the tender parts of her breasts and took her between his lips. He heard her raspy breath and he was sure her eyes were rolling into the back of her head and closing. Then he continued down.
As his hands worked along her body easily, she pushed her hips up to help him slip the skirt off of her. Her body trembled as he kissed from her ankle up to her thigh, and then removed her panties from her hips. She should feel exposed, vulnerable, cold, but she didn't. She was warm and happy, peaceful.
She let her own fingers work along his body to rid him of his clothes until they both lay bare on the soft blanket that she was sure was imported and cost thousands of dollars. But that didn't even matter to either of them in that moment. All that mattered was feeling each other, indulging in the others body.
Nate felt so wound up that he wasn't sure he could hold himself together as he positioned himself against her, Serena's legs curled welcomingly around his hips. He hesitated though to look down at her. He wanted to see that spark of desire in her eyes. He wanted to know that she wanted this, and him, just as much as he wanted her.
There. It was right there, shining back at him as she rose under his body. "I want you," She whispered, curling his palm against the side of her neck to lift herself up and kiss his mouth.
Her body was already trembling with need and passion. She slipped her tongue between his lips, feeling him responding to her touch. Her stomach tightened as she felt him move into her. It was like he was made for her. She moved her face to the nook of his neck and pressed her lips to the skin she found there.
The moans that passed her lips echoed in Nate's ear. She felt perfect for him in every way that he could have ever imagined. He started to move against her slowly, careful not to hurt her. That would be the last thing he'd ever want to happen. He gasped as he felt how incredible she was. Slowly he started to quicken his pace until he was rocking against her. She squirmed beneath his body but curled her nails into his shoulder blades, tightening her thighs at his waist.
The cries caught in her throat as she hung her head back. Sweat beaded at her forehead until she couldn't contain herself any longer and she finally let go. He spilled against her when she cried out. His hand moved to her hip and pushed down, holding her there as he pressed himself deeply inside her body. He wasn't ready to move.
Neither of them wanted him to move.
Serena gasped as she felt the room spinning. This was what living felt like.
* * *
Almost all of the candles had either been blow out or went out on their own. It left the room with a very, barely there glow. Through the window, Serena stared straight over the tops of the buildings and to the sky above. She was content from her head to her toes. Even if Nate couldn't take her to the desert to show her the sunset over the sand, she felt like she's seen it.
The two glasses of champagne were empty and knocked to the side on the blanket. Nothing had been cleaned up but there was no rush. He was alone in here, and no one knew she was nude, curled under a silk sheet against a bed of pillows they had pulled down from the couches.
She smiled as she heard footsteps and rolled her head to look back as Nate came back from the bathroom with his blanket securely around his waist. She giggled as he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Can I get you anything? Are you thirsty?"
"Some water?" She asked.
He happily obliged and walked to the kitchen where he filled two glasses with some water out of a pitcher he retrieved from the refridgerator. Then he walked back to their makeshift 'nest', handed her one before laying down beside her.
Serena took a sip from the glass and then placed it on the table before she curled on her side and rest against his chest, her hand gently laying atop his stomach. "This was amazing, Nate. Thank you for doing this for me."
He kissed her temple and smiled, "Of course. You know I'd do anything for you." He sipped his water with one arm around her back, gently rubbing against the bare skin. His eyes gazed out at the scene above the city and while he knew they would eventually have to go back to their lives, he couldn't help but wish this could be the way of things for the rest of their lives. He heard her heave a small sigh and knew she was thinking the same thing.
"It will be." He said.
She looked up curiously.
Nate lowered his eyes to catch hers and continued, "Like this, I mean. The two of us. One day." He arched his neck down and kissed her lips tenderly. "I meant what I said." He wanted to make sure she knew that. And that she didn't think it was just something he said in the heat of the moment. "I know I had a lot of time to tell you that before we were--in this situation but.. I did mean it. I do love you."
She felt the smile cross her lips and she nuzzled against his chest. "I meant it too."
He reached back to put his glass on the ground and then, with both hands free, wrapped both of them around her body to warm her. He loved the way that she curled around him. It made his heart beat quicker in his chest.
Serena listened to the soft patter of his pulse against his skin and closed her eyes.
She knew she had to go home, but this felt like home too.
He nuzzled his nose against the top of her head with his eyes closed and just held her. "We only have a couple more months. Then you can get divorced and we can be together for real."
For the first time that night, she hesitated. Pressing her lips together, Serena opened her eyes and stared at the blankets that covered them, not sure which belonged to one or the other. They were just entangled. She tightened her grip softly. This was what she wanted, so why did the thought of leaving Chuck to his own devices worry her.
She thought about the conversation she overheard between Chuck and his father. She remembered the look on Chuck's face. Maybe he hadn't meant to show it but he had been upset and disappointed. He'd looked so sad and unsure of himself. Serena had never seen, nor ever thought she would see, Chuck Bass look like that. Then when he'd danced with her in the hotel and kissed her under the reflection of the moon.. what did all of that mean?
"Nate?"
He was already falling into a comfortable sleep. "Hmm?"
Serena lifted her head and looked up at him. She saw the serene look upon his face and she didn't want to disturb that. Besides, why should she? What happened at the hotel didn't even rate up with what had just happened tonight. And why would she want to upset him by telling him about a kiss that was surely never going to happen again? That would be insane. She just wanted to exist in this moment, live in the contentment and happiness.
She loved Nate, of that she was sure, so she decided not to say anything. "You're perfect." She whispered instead.
He let a lazy smile cross his whole face and he pulled her closer. "No," He said in a voice thick with sleep. "You're just perfect for me." He kissed her and as he felt her body relax against his, he left himself drift off, thinking only of how much he felt and how he knew he had never loved, nor would ever love, a woman as much as he loved Serena.
Please read and review. Love it, hate it, just don't be cruel. Thank you so much for the reviews too, guys. It really keeps me going. Thank you. *Rosie