After I experienced one of the most scarring things of my life, we had Dean back and Not-Dean-Not-Meg-Not-Sammy-Not-Me poured out of his mouth and billowed through the floorboards.
Dean collapses in his chair and breathes heavily and I think it might not have worked but oh, no he's looking up at us with a confused look and he isn't rigid anymore so I think it's safe.
He groans. "What happened?"
I walk forward and untie him. "We had a little visitor."
He moves his head and curses under his breath. "God dammit, Meg?"
Sammy nods and helps me get rid of the ropes. "She just doesn't want to give up, I guess."
We get Dean out of the chair and he stands up immediately, brushing himself off and walking away from the chair like it's going to eat him if he isn't careful.
"What's the time?" he asks, still brushing himself down.
I look into the kitchen to rad the time on the oven. "Quarter past twelve."
"I'm going back to bed," Dean says, like he's just been woken by someone who had a bad dream. He goes back into his room and slams the door shut. Sammy's standing next to me awkwardly.
"I don't think he wants me to go in there with him," he says, and swallows again. We're still kneeling at the chair.
"So I guess it's still original sleeping arrangements."
I stand up and walk into the other bedroom and get into bed and face away from the middle of the bed and the weather's nice and chilly so I can snuggle down under the covers properly without being drowned by the air. I shut my eyes and I'm relieved that I finally can because I'm so tired. After a few seconds I can see Sammy coming through the door because the light flickers and then I hear the door closing. He hesitates before peeling the covers back slowly and slipping into bed and trying not to disturb me too much and lying on his back with one knee bent up across the bed and his hand behind his head.
It's extremely awkward now, because we're sleeping in the same bed but we don't know each other and we're not pretending to be a couple and we're too shaken up and tired to talk and I want to be how it was before with my head on his chest and his heart thumping steadily in my ear like a lullaby and his finger drawing shapes on my arm and his breathing making me rise and fall slowly. But I can't do that because we're not pretending anymore. We're just us.
So maybe I can just pretend to be asleep and then pretend to roll over and lie on him. Maybe then that would work. Okay, so if I just let my mouth open ever so slightly and breathe deeply without snoring and make little sleepy noise when I roll over and so here I go and it's worked perfectly.
He stiffens but I just nuzzle my head into his chest and keep breathing heavily and he softens up but he doesn't draw shapes on my arm he just lets his arm curl around me and keeps the other one with his hand behind his neck and his knee bent up and when I rolled over I must've accidentally made our legs twist together but that's okay because it's nice being so close to him. Because it's comfortable and warm and I'm happy again and I feel safe and like he's protecting me and nothing can go wrong when really anything can.