A/N: Thank you again for your reviews! On with the story!
Chapter Five
"Ginny?" Romilda questioned, waving her hand in front of her friend's blank face. "Hello? Where did you go?" Ginny snapped out of her trance and looked around.
"What time is it?"
"It's four o'clock," Romilda replied, eyeing Ginny strangely. "You just asked me that a few minutes ago."
"Oh…sorry," Ginny said, rubbing her temples. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I was…studying for my Charms test."
"You spend an awful lot of time in your room. I don't think it's very healthy," Romilda said with concern. Ginny sighed and shook her head.
"I know. I promise. I'll try to come outside more often. We should go do laps around the Quidditch pitch one day, since Snape canceled the Gryffindor team," Ginny muttered bitterly. "Have I mentioned how much I hate that man?"
"Only every chance you get," Romilda remarked. "We all hate him, Ginny. But you do seem to be getting the brunt of his anti-Gryffindor campaign."
"It only makes me more determined to succeed," Ginny said firmly.
"Good for you, Ginny," Romilda commented proudly. Ginny glanced around, making sure there was no one around who could overhear her.
"Actually…I was thinking of starting up Dumbledore's Army again."
"What?" Romilda gasped.
"I mean, I know you weren't a member when it started up, but you'd want to join now, right?" Ginny asked. Romilda too glanced around the room for potential eavesdroppers. As an extra precaution, she leaned forward and lowered her voice to a whisper.
"I'd love to join. But who's going to teach us spells?"
"Maybe the Army should evolve. Instead of dedicating it to our education, we should dedicate it to making sure all of the students know the truth about what's happening. Or we could use it to rally everyone to join the cause."
"How?" Romilda asked. Ginny bit her lip and tried to think of something they could do. Suddenly, a slow smile crept across her face. She grabbed a scrap of parchment and wrote down several names.
"Find all of these people. Tell them there's a meeting in the Room of Requirements for the DA in one hour. Try to be discreet." Romilda nodded and scurried off with the list. Ginny sought out the rest of the members and made sure she was waiting in the Room of Requirements an hour later. A substantial amount of former members had accumulated.
"Listen, everyone! Snape is being a prat," Ginny began.
"What else is new?" Someone shouted. Everyone murmured in agreement.
"The difference is, now we're all forced to answer to him. But I, for one, am not going to take that lying down," Ginny said loudly. Everyone cheered in agreement.
"But…what can we do? We can't get caught. Snape will kill us," Neville said fearfully.
"So, we don't get caught," Ginny said simply. "We do just enough to take a stand, and that's all."
"What are you suggesting?" Michael Corner asked.
"This," Ginny said, turning around and raising her wand. Everyone watched as bright red paint spurted from the tip of her wand and onto the wall. In large letters, she spelled out, "Dumbledore's Army: Still Recruiting."
"A slogan. On every corridor wall. To remind everyone that it is time for them to pick a side. And even though the situation here at Hogwarts seems dire, there are people who want to fight for good." There was silence for several moments before Colin spoke.
"Brilliant," he whispered. That was all it took. Everyone erupted into conversation about Ginny's idea. They started brainstorming phrases and worked together to break down the many corridors of Hogwarts so that each one was covered.
"I don't care when you do it, but try to get it tonight so that everyone will see it on their way to class tomorrow. And please," Ginny added pleadingly. "Don't get caught."
--
"The graffiti is the best idea you've ever had, Ginny," Romilda remarked at breakfast the next morning. The Great Hall was abuzz with the wall paintings that covered every wall in Hogwarts. Ginny was so proud that she had organized the effort.
"Thanks, Romilda. And as far as I know, no one got caught. So I'd call that a complete success in my book," she said, helping herself to some toast.
"Brilliant work, Ginny," Neville commented as he passed her. Ginny grinned and thanked him. On the wall she was facing was a giant, blue graffiti statement proclaiming, "Girls love an Army boy" with the DA emblem underneath.
"Snape is furious," Romilda said quietly, gesturing subtly to the faculty table. Snape's face was red, and he was talking animatedly with Professor Carrow.
"Good," Ginny replied with a satisfied nod. "After we went to all that trouble, I'm glad he has the nerve to be a little miffed."
"Ginny Weasley?" A voice asked from behind the two girls. Ginny turned around to see an anxious first-year standing there.
"Yeah, that's me."
"This letter came to me by mistake. Your owl must have gotten confused. My name is Jenny Beasley." The little girl held out a letter which was still attached to Pigwidgeon's foot.
"Oh, god, Pig. Thank you, Jenny. I appreciate it," Ginny said kindly to the girl, who nodded and scurried away. "Pig, I swear. You need to get your act together."
"That bird is a menace," Romilda concurred, scratching Pig's head. "But he is awfully cute."
"That's the only thing keeping him around, I assure you," Ginny muttered, detaching the letter and releasing the tiny owl. She unfolded the letter eagerly, hoping it was from Harry. Her heart sank with disappointment when she recognized Hermione's neat handwriting.
Dear Ginny,
I can't say very much here, but I just wanted to let you know that we're all fine. Harry's in somewhat of a bad place right now, otherwise I'm sure he'd write you. I hope you are well.
Love,
Hermione
Ginny sighed and folded up the parchment. She didn't know whether she should be upset or furious. If Hermione could spare time to write her a letter, couldn't Harry? It didn't even need to be as long as Hermione's. She would be satisfied with just a few words. She just longed to hear anything from him. Anything at all.
"What did it say?" Romilda asked disinterestedly. She had turned back to her Potions notes. Ginny shoved the note into her book bag and shook her head.
"Just my Mum checking in."
"Have you head form Harry at all?" The dark haired girl inquired in a tentative voice. She knew the subject was a touchy one.
"It would be foolish of me to assume that Harry has time to write to me. I'm sure he's very busy stupefying Death Eaters or something," Ginny replied casually. Romilda recognized the injury in her tone.
"Ginny…are you sure you know what you're doing?" Ginny's eyes clouded with tears. Romilda's question brought Ginny back a few days to an argument she had had with Draco.
"Do you even know what you're doing with him?" Draco thundered.
"Excuse me?"
"Are you with him because you actually love him, or is it because you think that you're supposed to love him?"
"What the hell kind of question is that?" Ginny shrieked. "Of course I love him!"
"Then why doesn't he write you?" Draco demanded. Ginny froze and concentrated all of her energy on not showing any emotion. Not to him.
"He's busy."
"Too busy to write a letter to the girl he supposedly loves just to let her know that he's all right? That he's still alive?"
"He could be traced if he tried to write me!" Ginny pointed out defensively. "I understand that he would want to try to protect himself."
"Face it, Weasley. Potter is a prat."
"Harry is a better man than you'll ever be!" Ginny shouted angrily. She had crossed the line. She had known it as soon as the words had left her lips, and she wished she could take them back. But there they were.
Draco's eyes went dark. He looked positively livid. Ginny was suddenly frightened. She hadn't seen such anger in anyone before. And they were all alone in her room. If he hurt her, no one would know, and no one would hear.
"Yes, how could I ever dream to be anything close to what Harry Potter has become?" Draco whispered in a mocking tone.
"Harry has been fighting for good since the beginning. I still don't even know if I can completely trust you," Ginny said quietly, unsure of how far to take this argument. Draco raised an eyebrow.
"You don't trust me, Weasley?"
"No."
"We're on the same side now, in case you've forgotten. And I may have just decided to turn my life around, but did you ever stop to consider that this lifestyle might require equal if not more strength?"
Ginny was silent.
"Before you start placing Potter on a pedestal, you might want to consider what I've been through to get here." Draco's cold, hard stare penetrated Ginny's defenses and weakened her desire to continue fighting.
"What have you been through, Malfoy?" She asked softly, changing the tone of the conversation entirely. A flicker of emotion passed through Draco's eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.
"It would give you nightmares, Weasley," Draco muttered, looking at the floor. Ginny frowned and folded her arms across her chest.
"Try me." Draco glanced up at her.
"No."
"It can't be that bad," Ginny pressed, knowing that this statement would provoke him into speech. As expected, Draco's temper flared immediately.
"You have no idea, Weasley. You come from a family that loves you and doesn't curse you into unconsciousness when you've done something wrong. Your father doesn't expect you to grow up to be just like him. A ruthless, brutal murderer with no morals and no respect for any human being. Does your father beat your mother? Does your mother blame his violence on you?" Draco's voice increased in volume and unsteadiness as he continued. Ginny recoiled, her heart filling with sadness and pity with every word.
"I have seen things that you couldn't even begin to imagine. Torturing and killing mudbloods was my father's weekend hobby. And lucky me; I got to watch. He used no discretion whatsoever. I've seen him kill infants. I've seen him kill husbands in front of their wives. I've seen horrors that neither you nor your precious Potter could even begin to fathom," Draco finished in a whisper. Ginny's hand was covering her mouth in shock.
"Malfoy, I-"
"Don't," Draco stopped her. "Don't say anything. I just want quiet for a minute." Ginny couldn't bring herself to deny him this request. She fell silent and watched him as he moved towards the couch and sat down. He lowered his head and held it in his hands. The room was deathly silent. The tick tock of the clock was suddenly magnified, and the monotony of it was beginning to irritate Ginny.
But she didn't move. She couldn't find the strength to do anything. Draco was right. He had true horrors in his past that still haunted him every day. And from what he had revealed, which Ginny suspected was only a small portion of what his life was like, she suspected that Draco might have suffered more than Harry.
What was worse? To have never known your parents or to have parents as cruel as the Devil himself? To have your destiny predetermined, or to take it in your own hands and make it what you want it to be? Ginny couldn't answer these questions definitively, but she knew one thing for certain.
Her opinions of Draco Malfoy had been permanently altered, and a feeling of respect for him had blossomed deep inside of her.
"Ginny?" Romilda asked, waving her hand in front of the redhead's face. Ginny snapped out of her reverie and sighed.
"Sorry. I just…spaced out again."
"Yeah, I noticed. Are you sure you're all right?"
"I think I need to lie down for a bit," Ginny said distantly, gathering her books and rising from her seat. Romilda watched her with obvious concern.
"All right. Do you want me to walk back with you?"
"No, I'll be fine," Ginny replied softly. Then she walked away without another word.
"Hey, Ginny!" Colin called after her, but she didn't turn around. He looked at Romilda questioningly.
"What's wrong with Ginny?"
"I don't know, Colin," Romilda sighed heavily. "I don't know."
--
Ginny left the Gryffindor tower early. It was 8:15. But she was anxious. She couldn't stop picturing herself waiting and waiting for Draco to come back, but he never shows up. She didn't know what she would do if that hour passed and there was no sign of him.
She made her way down to the Black Lake, but she stayed in plain sight, so Draco would be able to find her when he arrived. She paced back and forth, forcing the same blades of grass to bend beneath her feet, creating a long patch of flattened ground. She glanced at her watch.
8:25.
Five more minutes. Or maybe even longer if he was held up. Ginny found her hands shaking with anticipation. Things could go very wrong once these five minutes were over. Or they could go very right. Perhaps Draco would return on time, carrying the information he had been sent to retrieve. Then Ginny could stop worrying. At least until he was sent away again. She checked her watch.
8:26.
This was painful. Waiting helplessly was painful. She attempted to distract herself by thinking about other things, but her mind kept wandering back to whether or not Draco was going to make it. Finally, she tried focusing her thoughts on her kiss with Harry. Something that generally made her feel better. But now, it filled her with doubt. She hadn't heard from Harry since the summer. He hadn't written her a single letter, like he promised. Did that mean Harry had forgotten about her? Or that he didn't want to be with her anymore?
8:30.
Ginny stopped pacing and scanned every inch of the Hogwarts grounds. She was fairly certain that her heart had temporarily stopped beating as she searched for a familiar figure. When he didn't immediately appear, Ginny began to assume the worst. Before she could begin to consider the possibilities, however, a small puppy was scampering towards her.
"Oh, thank god," she breathed, dropping to her knees. When he was close enough, Ginny reached out and dragged him into an embrace. He squirmed in her arms, trying to get away.
"Oh, hold still," she muttered. "One hug won't kill you." Draco gave up struggling and let Ginny clutch him tightly against her chest. "Come on, let's get you inside."
It seemed as though it took less than five seconds to climb all the way to the Gryffindor tower and secure the two of them in Ginny's room. Draco transformed back into himself and collapsed onto the bed.
"God damn it," he hissed.
"What's wrong?" Ginny asked, still feeling slightly high from realizing that he was still alive.
"I couldn't do it."
"What?"
"I couldn't get the information. God damn it, I'm so stupid," Draco growled, ripping off his shirt and throwing it across the room. Ginny hesitated to approach him.
"You're not stupid, Malfoy."
"Yes, I am. I was totally in control, and then I blew it," he snapped, looking wildly around the room for something to break.
"Malfoy, just calm down."
"Calm down?" Draco thundered. "How could I possibly calm down? I almost sacrificed everything that the Order has worked for!"
"I understand that, Malfoy, but right now, you just need to calm the hell down and thank god that you're still alive!" Ginny shouted back.
"I don't deserve to be alive! I should just give up now," Draco retorted.
"Don't you dare say something like that!" Ginny exclaimed. "You're doing a brave and noble thing! You can't be victorious every time. Just be grateful that you're still alive and you can keep fighting for what's right!" Draco sighed noisily and flopped down onto Ginny's bed.
"Remus is going to be so disappointed," he muttered, his voice thick with regret.
"He knows you're not perfect, Malfoy," Ginny whispered comfortingly. "As long as you did your best, you still have his respect." Draco snorted as though he didn't believe her. Tentatively, Ginny sat down next to him on the bed.
"What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Draco replied through gritted teeth.
"Come on, Malfoy. It'll make you feel better if you talk about it."
"What are you? Some kind of psychoanalyst?"
"No," Ginny replied in a slightly wounded voice. "I just want to know what you could have possibly screwed up so badly."
"It's not your business to know."
"Excuse me?"
"It's between me and Remus."
"Don't you dare pull that crap, Malfoy. I'm just as entitled to know how your assignments turn out as Remus is."
"You're just a child, Weasley," Draco replied, rubbing his eyes. Ginny's mouth fell open, and she fell into a temporary stunned silence.
"I am not a child!" She shouted furiously when she had recovered. Draco winced and rubbed his temples.
"Could you please try not to shout? I have a blinding headache," Draco muttered, obviously trying to control his temper.
"I'll endeavor to make it worse if you don't bloody tell me what's going on," Ginny threatened. Draco raised his eyebrows.
"You're kind of in an odd position to be making threats, aren't you, Weasley?"
"Please, Malfoy! Everyone treats me like a child and acts like I can't handle the truth of what's going on in the world. Please just give me the chance that no one else will!" Ginny pleaded.
"Even Potter?" Draco asked curiously. Ginny sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Yes, even Harry. Even after I've proved myself time after time," she replied bitterly. Draco smirked.
"Well, I suppose if I have an opportunity to best the wonderful Harry Potter, I should take it," he said with a sneer. Ginny normally would have argued, but she wanted to know what had happened so badly.
"This is the last time I'll ask, Malfoy," Ginny said softly. "Please." Draco glanced up at her with his icy blue eyes, calculating her thoughts. Finally, he nodded.
"All right, Weasley. But this has to be filed with your top secret information."
"Of course," Ginny agreed eagerly.
"Remus knew that Potter, your brother and the mudblood-"
"Hermione," Ginny corrected him crossly. Draco glared.
"Do you want to hear this or not?" Ginny was immediately quiet.
"Anyway, they were planning on breaking into the ministry to find one of Voldemort's horcruxes. I was supposed to mislead the Death Eaters so that they would be able to do that without getting held up. But I screwed up, and Yaxley followed them back to headquarters at Grimmauld Place."
"Oh no," Ginny whispered.
"Yeah. It's all my fault," Draco muttered, shutting his eyes. Ginny didn't know how to feel. She knew that his mistake had almost cost the Order invaluable amounts of information. But since no one had been there at the time, they had narrowly avoided such a disaster. And now Draco was feeling personally responsible for it.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Malfoy. You did your best, right?"
"I really did," Draco admitted quietly. "I thought I had everything under control, and I just…lost it. Cracked under pressure."
"You'll get used to it. You'll get it right next time."
"If there even is a next time," Draco commented darkly. Ginny shook her head.
"You don't know Remus very well, do you?" She asked with a small smile. "He'll give you another chance. Especially if I vouch for you."
"You'd do that again? After I almost ruined everything?" Draco asked in shock. Ginny shrugged and blushed slightly.
"I believe you deserve a second chance," she replied simply. Draco stared at her, his eyes unreadable.
"I'll make sure you don't regret that statement," he said seriously. Ginny nodded.
"I know you will."
Silence.
"How was your test?" Draco asked quietly.
"What?"
"Your Charms test. How did it go?"
"Oh…fine, actually. I think I did all right," Ginny said gently.
"Good," Draco replied wearily.
"Malfoy…you take the bed tonight. I'll sleep on the couch," Ginny offered. Draco sat up immediately.
"No."
"Why not? You deserve a good night's sleep more than I do."
"It wouldn't be proper. Sleep in your bed, Weasley."
"Proper? Malfoy, I-"
"I'm too tired to argue with you, Ginny," Draco said without realizing. There was a silence, during which Draco finally realized that he had called her by her first name. "Weasley," he promptly amended. "See, that's how tired I am." He ambled over to the couch and lay down without another word. Ginny watched him carefully for a moment, trying to decipher the meaning of what just happened. She decided not to read too much into it, climbed into bed, and fell asleep.