Chapter Six: Sometimes I Think I'm Crazy

Tommy's POV

After Adam's car turned around the bend of the school parking lot, my dad's car showed up in front of me. I only realized this after he opened the window and yelled, "Why the hell are you smiling to yourself, you dork?" I turned my attention to the car, laughing, thankful that everybody was either inside or already gone. Nothing new with dad.

I opened the car door and slipped inside, my bag falling in front of me. "How was the first day of this shithole, kiddo?" He started the engine again and wound around the lot. I laughed. Dad never wanted to move. He was a Chicago man. But mom got a better job offer here, and she wanted to work. Ma hated letting dad do all the work, even if he insisted it was fine. I shrugged, "Fine, I guess. Some pretty cool kids here and there," I smiled myself at that. Yeah, Adam Lambert being the fucking best one. But I didn't say it out loud. He'd start poking fun at me, sarcastic questions popping up. He'd ask if I was gay for him or if Adam was. And, at the moment, they were both possible.

Dad smirked, turning the wheel right, heading out of the school area; there was only one high school in this particularly small area of Los Angeles. It was kind of off to the side of Hollywood. Much like the suburbs, I guess you could say. Dad drove down the narrow lanes fairly quickly, but it wasn't on my mind that much. I've been in a new school for a day, and this one kid may have made me realize I was gay. May have,being the main words. I thought about what it would be like to have a boyfriend, holding his hand through the-

Boyfriend...? Holy shit!Mia!

I didn't realize we were already home, but dad parked in the garage and I practically leaped out of the car. I opened the door of the garage leading into the kitchen, running past a shitload of boxes. I tripped over a couple, but never fell. Pft, I was too sly to fall. I was Tommy Joe fucking Ratliff. Mom was in the living room, unpacking one of, what I assumed to be, Lisa's boxes. "Hi honey, how was-" I ran up the stairs, again tripping over a couple steps. "Fine, great, awesome, talk to you later!" I made it into my room, at first staring around it. Oh yeah. New room. I forgot. I panted a little, checking the corner of the room and smiling to myself. Ah, my baby, my life. My bass. I don't know what I would do without it. I already had everything unpacked out of my boxes with the exception of one box of CD's. I took my phone out of my pocket, flipping it open- 2:36. School should be over by now. I pressed 2 - obviously, my baby was on speed dial- and pressed the little green button, putting the cell to my ear.

"Hi, you've reached Mia. Who are you?" She laughed her cute laugh, "...leave a message and I'll-" I stared, confused, at the blank wall in front of me. Why didn't she-? Oh, shit. I laughed to myself before I flipped the phone back down and sat down on the carpeted floor. I laughed again before laying down, crossing my hands behind my head, and staring at the ceiling. I forgot that she was two timezones away. And it was 4:36 in Chicago right now, not 2:36. Mia was probably at work by now. I needed to remember this shit...

The rest of the day went by in a haze, discussing first day of school with the family at dinner. Dinner was fucking fabulous, obviously. Chicken parm. Yum-o. Mom never made anything bad. Except for this one time... But what the hell does that have to do with this afternoon? Lisa and I played some COD after dinner, and the little fucker killed me three times. She always beat me. I still didn't understand how she could be better than me.

After getting killed another five times, I got up. "Ya got me beat," I told her, putting my hands up as a white flag. I started walking backwards and eventually turned around, only to get hit in the back of the head with a hard pillow. "Where are you going?" she yelled at me, a grin forming on her face. The little bitch was proud, for sure. I turned around, and another pillow hit me in the face. "Ah, you little fucker!" I yelled, laughing as I picked up the pillows off the ground and threw them back at her. "Lemme take a shower. I smell like a fucking perfume bottle from all the girls hugging me today," I started walking up the stairs, rubbing my neck and blowing raspberries.

Whilst in the shower, I couldn't help but think about none-the-other but Mr. Adam Lambert. His hair was so beautiful, so black, so...beautiful. Wait, I already said that. But his eyes- his eyes, they were worse than hypnosis. I'm sure I would have stared into them for the rest of the day if I could have. His perfectly painted nails, his ratty converse- just like mine. His- I shook my head, the water softly tapping against my scalp. I can't be...gay. I can't like dick. I can't...To put it simply, my parents would disown me. Quite the homophobes, my parents. Need everything to be in perfect place, the way they want it to be. My wet bangs suddenly felt heavy against my face. I sat down in the tub, my feet making squeak-y sounds. I pulled my legs up to my chest and huffed, wrapping my arms around my knees. Words like gay, faggot, assfucker, and such swarmed around my head. Shit...

I finally got out of the shower, a towel wrapped around my waist. I did all my basic essentials; brushed my teeth, put on my boxers, brushed my hair, yadda yadda yadda, before lying down on the floor again. I sighed, propping myself up on my elbow and reaching over to grab my bass. It was beautiful. Thick, sleek, a dark, yet light, color of blue. It reminded me of Adams eyes, in a way. Deep and oceanic, yet light and airy at the same time. I closed my eyes and plucked a few chords before remembering Adams paper in class. I tried to remember how the melody went, and starting slowly plucking the strings into the Insatiable intro. Fucking football players. Like they knew who Darren Hayes was. It had taken me a while to realize that it was Insatiable, but once I realized it was, I couldn't do anything but feel bad for him that they thought they were his own words. Well, that's a lie. I did do something, I beat the shit out of them. But it was basically too late. The damage had been done.

I continued to play on my bass, getting into the first verse of the beautiful song. I hummed softly to myself, "When moonlight crawls along the street...Chasing away the summer heat...Footsteps outside, somewhere below...The world revolves, I've let it go...We build our Church above the street...We practiced love between these sheets.." I stopped plucking and humming for a second, opening my eyes again. I mentally skimmed the lyrics, blinking once and smiling to myself, "I fall asleep inside of you..."