Hello, readers. The end of this adventure is sadly upon us. I thank you for coming along for the ride. Now, buckle up and get ready for the last crazy bump in the road!
Taylor had just settled into his bed for the night when he heard a girlish yelp coming from Kirk and Lulu's room. He huffed, sliding his sleep mask over his eyes and collapsing his head against the pillow. He had to admit that the beds were quite comfortable. Perhaps this 'vacation' of sorts wouldn't be a total loss. Within moments, he was in dreamland.
Approximately four-and-a-half minutes later, Mr. Doose was shaken violently from his slumber by some fiend pounding relentlessly on his door. He angrily rose from his bed and walked towards the door, yanking it open.
"Kirk!" Taylor boomed.
"Taylor!" Kirk shrieked in fear.
They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. "Where are your pants?" Taylor finally asked the obvious question, his anger giving way to confusion, curiosity even.
Kirk didn't answer him immediately. Instead, he came back with a question of his own. "Are you wearing Peter Pan pyjamas?"
Taylor blushed. He'd temporarily forgotten his ensemble. "I…uh…" he stumbled. "Why were you pounding on my door, Kirk?" He quickly changed the subject.
"I was wondering if I could borrow a pair of pants. Actually, if you have another set of Peter Pan pyjamas, I'll take those!" Kirk said enthusiastically.
"For god's sake, keep your voice down," Taylor pleaded. He gestured for Kirk to come inside and closed the door behind him.
"This is a nice room," Kirk said in effort to make conversation.
"It's the exact same as yours." Taylor rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Oh." Kirk seemed disappointed to note.
Taylor decided to wrap things up before Kirk got too comfortable. "What happened to your pants, Kirk?"
"Well…Lulu was particularly aggressive tonight and…"
Mr. Doose hurriedly interrupted, "Don't say another word!"
"Ok, but you asked..."
"And I'll live to regret it."
Kirk moved to sit on the mussed bed. Taylor cringed. "Can I borrow some pants then?" the frail man asked.
Taylor shuddered at the thought. "There has to be some spare clothing somewhere in this establishment," he said aloud. Shaking his head, he slid into his slippers, tied a robe around himself, (for warmth, and to hide the images of Peter and Captain Hook), and exited his room, Kirk in tow.
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The noises of Balderdash flooded the staircase as Taylor and his unwanted escort made their way towards the storage closet.
Within moments, Taylor stood before the closet, hand on the doorknob, and slowly he turned…
His face fell. His pulse quickened, and before he could stop himself, he cried, "My loafers!" at the top of his lungs.
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The dining room fell silent.
Lorelai looked from Gypsy to Michel and back, shaking her head and poising her tongue for a good lashing. She abruptly stood up from her place at the table. "I thought I told you two to clean up that mess," Lorelai said sharply, as she dragged the two conspirators out of the dining room by their ears.
"We thought it might add a level of excitement if we left it untouched." Gypsy casually admitted.
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Did you at least order Taylor a new pair of loafers," she whispered to Michel as they approached a discoloured Taylor.
He smiled slyly. "Of course."
A sense of dread washed over Lorelai. "They're not from 'Street Walkers Anonymous,' are they?"
Michel ignored her comment, directing his attention toward the Town Selectman. "Ah, Taylor. Is there some sort of problem here?" he said in the most condescending manner.
Taylor glared at the Frenchman. "This!" he shouted, pointing at the loafer currently acting as the latest chew-toy for the incomparable Paw-Paw. "This is the problem!"
"Oh, isn't that the most adorable thing you have ever seen." Michel got down on all fours and nuzzled his chow affectionately. "Little Paw-Paw has good taste. Yes he does…yes he does," he cooed.
Taylor hissed, "Lorelai, I strongly suggest that you have this mess cleaned up. And that the guilty parties are thoroughly reprimanded."
"Yes, Taylor. Absolutely," Lorelai agreed. She yanked Michel up by his arm, cutting short his cuddle time, and pulled Gypsy next to him. "Troglodytes one and two at your service," she said referring to the two wrong-doers.
"Very well," Taylor sighed. "I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep tonight. This experience has been much too traumatic for me." He touched the back of his hand to his forehead for dramatic effect.
"Taylor, I apologize for any distress this has caused you. I assure you that we will have a brand new pair of loafers delivered to your room in the morning."
"Fine," he said with an air of disbelief in his voice. Just as he was about to begin the short trek back to his room, Taylor suddenly remembered something. "Kirk…where did Kirk get to?" he asked aloud, to no one in particular.
"Uh, Kirk? Was Kirk with you?" Lorelai wondered.
Taylor nodded. "Was, being the operative word.
"So Kirk moved on to you after Lulu, huh?" Gypsy jabbed.
Before Taylor could ring her neck, Lorelai urged Gypsy to get back to work. Michel smiled in appreciation of Gypsy's wit.
Lorelai and Taylor were about ready to search for Kirk, when he came around the corner with a big grin, still pant-less.
"Kirk, where have you been?" Taylor demanded to know.
"How about asking him where the hell his pants are – or is that meant to be a secret between the two of you?" Gypsy was at it again. This time Michel literally clapped in approval.
Taylor growled.
Kirk answered Taylor's question first. "I was in the library," he said it as though it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Um…what exactly were you doing in the library?" Lorelai asked, praying that the disappearance of his pants was completely unrelated.
"I was reading 'Gnomes of the West'. It's a beautiful book."
"Uh huh, ok. Um, Kirk, honey…what happened to your pants?" Lorelai was more than a little curious to find out.
"Don't ask! You don't want to know," Taylor assured her.
"If it has anything to do with you, then you're right. We don't want to know." Gypsy muttered. Man, she was on a roll. It was almost like she was showing off. And Michel was loving every minute of it.
"I tried to get some pants from Taylor, but he didn't want to share," Kirk said. "Hey…have you seen his pj's?!" he excitedly questioned his companions. Before waiting for an answer, he pulled at the tie around Taylor's waist…
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The game of Balderdash had come to a quick halt as a result of the dramatics taking place a few feet outside the dining room. When it became apparent that the game wouldn't be continuing anytime soon, Emily demanded to know the correct definition for the word they'd been given.
Morey smartly cooperated. "Analalagnia…an attraction to older women, is the correct definition.
Everyone quietly acknowledged the answer…except for Patty and Babette. They started hooting and hollering. And Richard…he had a look on his face as though he'd swallowed a canary.
"Mr. Gilmore, are you feeling all right?" Jackson asked, concerned.
Richard chuckled softly. "I'm feeling a mixture of pride and cunning intellect.
"He got the right definition," Emily supplied.
There was applause all around. Richard officially adored the game of Balderdash.
"Well, I'm about ready to hit the sack. How about you, sweet cheeks?" Babette asked her hubby.
Morey nodded, and the two stood up from the table, inspiring the other players to do the same.
There were a few handshakes and congratulatory pats on the back, and they all exited the dining room.
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The entourage of guests returning from the dining room made it to Kirk and company just in time for the big reveal.
With the flick of his wrist, Kirk uncloaked Taylor and exposed his cute little secret. The entire crowd erupted in laughter. Taylor yelped in embarrassment and desperately clutched at the fabric of his robe to cover himself.
Taylor glared at Kirk, glared harder at Lorelai, harder still at Gypsy, and took off for the stairs. He would never live this one down.
"Goodnight, Neverland!" Gypsy shouted after him to the amusement of all parties.
As the laughter died down, people finally had a chance to take in Kirk's appearance. This time they all wore horrified expressions.
"We're dealing with the pants situation." Lorelai promised.
That seemed to be enough. The guests slowly made their way to their respective rooms, after graciously thanking their hosts for a splendid evening.
The only people that remained downstairs were Lorelai, Gypsy, Michel and Kirk. Lorelai made quick work of finding a pair of cloth pyjamas for Kirk and urged him to return to his room. He wouldn't leave without 'Gnomes of the West.' It was a small price to pay, Lorelai reasoned.
Gypsy and Michel were making slow progress on the clean-up job in the closet. With another stern warning, Lorelai left the two to their own devices. She hummed, 'Love is in the air,' as she walked. Michel and Gypsy didn't seem to notice.
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Lorelai gently turned the knob on door number six. She tip-toed into the room and turned on the light next to the bed she and Rory were sharing.
"Mom?" Rory said, causing Lorelai to jump. She moved to sit upright in the bed.
"Hey, kid. I didn't wake you up, did I?"
Rory grinned. "No, I'd say the laughing and screaming coming from downstairs had more to do with it. What the heck was going on down there?"
Lorelai sighed. "To make a long story short, Gypsy and Michel should never be allowed near loafers, or hungry animals. And Taylor should never be allowed to shop alone at Walmart."
"Ok," Rory said, confused.
"I'll give you the more detailed version of the story in the morning."
Rory yawned. "Sounds good."
"Listen," Lorelai said, sitting down on the bed and squeezing Rory's arm. "Before you go to sleep, there's something I need to tell you."
"Shoot."
"Well…it's still pretty new, but, um, I'm kind of in a relationship."
"Yeah?" Rory asked, suddenly much more interested in the conversation.
"Yeah. And you know him…pretty well, actually. He's an upstanding member of our town, and he's not bad to look at, either."
Rory shook her head. "It took you guys long enough," she smiled.
Lorelai opened her mouth in shock. "How…how did you know?"
"You pretty much spelled it right out for me."
"Damn that Yale education of yours. I thought it would take you a few more guesses."
"Because this town is just full of good-looking and eligible bachelors."
Lorelai grinned. "You think Luke's good-looking? I'm so telling!"
"You better watch yourself, or I'm gonna steal him right from under your nose." Rory teased sarcastically.
"Well, anyway, I think I'm going to pop over and say goodnight to my man." Lorelai said, rising from the bed.
"And what exactly does your saying 'goodnight' entail?" Rory was terrified that she already knew the answer.
"A firm handshake, maybe a curtsy."
"Whatever, Scarlett." Rory poked.
"It all depends on what he's wearing…or isn't wearing," Lorelai giggled.
Rory groaned. "Mom, I'm right next door! These walls have ears."
"Honey, these are damn thick walls." Lorelai hit the wall with her fist to prove her point.
"Mom!"
Lorelai laughed. "What? We're not going to get all primordial on you!"
Rory sighed, sliding onto her stomach and pulling her pillow over her head. "Goodnight." Her voice was muffled by the pillow.
Lorelai rubbed her daughter's back affectionately and tip-toed back out of the room.
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Within seconds she stood outside of door number seven, her heart pounding hard in her chest. She pinched her cheeks and knocked.
Luke answered the door almost immediately. He was wearing jogging pants and a tight t-shirt.
"Hey, sexy!" Lorelai smiled.
Luke looked around the hallway to see if anyone heard. Shaking his head, he pulled her inside and shut the door.
"I love it when you're rough with me," she teased.
He smirked.
Lorelai moved closer to him and ran her hands up and down his chest. "I've been waiting all day for this," she sighed.
Luke did everything in his power to hold her off.
Lorelai leaned back, a puzzled look on her face. "Hey, what gives? You bored of me already?"
"I'm just not comfortable doing this here. Not with Rory across the hall," he admitted.
Lorelai pouted, advancing on him again.
He struggled to push her away. She was a feisty one.
"What if someone walks in on us? I'm pretty sure Kirk is still awake," Luke warned.
Lorelai walked towards the door and gave it a good twist. It didn't budge. "Locks, baby. That's why they invented them."
Luke shook his head. "I still don't think we should do anything. I just don't feel right about it."
Lorelai was silent for a minute. "Can I at least have a kiss then?" she pleaded.
"Mmm…" Luke still wasn't favorable about the idea.
She took a few steps closer to him. "Just one kiss?"
It took all of his willpower to decline. "Why don't you go to sleep and dream about kissing me?" he suggested.
"Luke," Lorelai whined, frustrated. She reached for his hand and in her best Louis Armstrong voice, sang, "Give me a kiss to build a dream on…"
He laughed and gave her a quick peck on the lips in return. She eagerly turned the innocent kiss into a heated exchange. Seconds later, Luke had her back pressed against the wall and he was practically tearing the clothes off her body.
"Louis turned you on, eh?" Lorelai said, between gasps.
Luke shut her up with another searing kiss. His clothes were disappearing almost as fast as hers.
The fell together onto the mattress and entangled themselves amidst the sheets.
Sweet dreams.
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Breakfast went off without a hitch. Sookie and her kitchen crew aimed to please. Everyone sat together once more in the dining room, exchanging their favourite memories from their short stay at The Dragonfly. There were, however, three significant characters absent from the morning's proceedings; Luke, Lorelai and Taylor.
People had a pretty good idea where Luke and Lorelai were and what they were most likely doing. But Taylor…he was a bit of a mystery. Some suspected that he was too ashamed to show his face after last night's big reveal. Others were of the belief that he was catching up on the sleep he missed. Two people at the table had their own unique idea as to the reason behind Mr. Doose's absence. They wouldn't dare share.
Minutes later, Luke and Lorelai appeared before the group, looking slightly disheveled and a little overtired. But their faces were glowing.
Patty nudged Babette and they giggled quietly.
"Nice of you to finally join us," Emily said sharply.
"I like to make an entrance," Lorelai returned with a smile. She was in a ridiculously good mood and nothing was going to change that.
Taylor's heavy and angry feet pounding towards the dining room gave Lorelai cause to think that her stellar mood might not be so permanent after all.
He held in his hands, a pair of hot pink loafers. "Is this what you call a new pair of loafers!" he barked, thrusting the abhorrent footwear into the air.
Michel and Gypsy burst into laughter. Slowly but surely, the rest of the guests began to loose their composure and laughter filled the entire room. Even Lorelai chuckled at the scene before her. Pink was definitely not Taylor's colour.
The Town Selectman turned on his foot and stormed just as quickly out of the room as he entered. Lorelai chased after him, determined to smooth out the situation once and for all. She would deal with Michel and Gypsy later.
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It wasn't long before the Dragonfly staff lined the porch and bid farewell to all their guests.
Richard and Emily genuinely thanked Lorelai, congratulating her and the team for building such a promising business. Richard also mentioned his intentions of purchasing his very own edition of Balderdash. Lorelai encouraged him to do so. Anything to liven up Friday Night Dinners.
Taylor was in much better spirits upon descending the porch steps. Apparently Lorelai was a miracle worker. There was also talk that she promised Mr. Doose a spot in the Dragonfly brochure to advertise his Soda Shoppe. He was tickled pink. And yes, he kept the loafers.
Luke was the last to exit. He gave Lorelai a peck, and kept it quick this time. "Congratulations," he said.
"Thanks," she grinned. "See ya tonight, stud." She patted him on the butt. As Luke walked away, she belted out another Armstrong hit, "I found my thrill…on blueberry hill!"
Luke chuckled to himself.
"What was that about?" Sookie wondered.
"It's a Louis Armstrong song. It turns Luke on when I do my Louis voice."
Sookie giggled naughtily.
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Still inside the Inn, Michel and Gypsy seemed to be plotting yet another scheme. It seemed as though they were inventing any excuse to spend time together. There, was another story to be told.
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Sookie and Lorelai clinked their coffee mugs together on the porch. "Here's to a new adventure," Sookie grinned.
Lorelai smiled, taking everything in. Their dream was now a reality. She sighed and blissfully sang, "And I think to myself…what a wonderful world."
FIN
Thanks so much for following me on this journey - for as long as it took. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. And Gypsy and Michel enjoyed helping me write this. Crazy kids. Stay tuned for the next adventure!