Chapter Six:
My dreams during sleep were frightening. I was always searching for him; endlessly searching even though there was nothing, no one, to be found. My subconscious mind tormented me as I slept. But my daydreams were under my control. I thought of his voice, the feel of his marble skin, his sweet scent. I imagined us laughing together in the meadow or holding each other in my bed. I pictured myself as strong and beautiful as he was, as a vampire. I pretended he still loved me and wanted to be with me forever.
I thought of these things this morning in my economics class. The professor had a perfect voice for daydreaming, soft and monotone. My eyelids felt heavy from my lack of sleep the night before. It was almost painful trying to keep my head up. I rested my forehead on my arm. A nap would do me some good. It wasn't as if I was able to pay attention today anyway.
I couldn't have been out longer than a few minutes when I was woken by the clattering of a calculator someone had dropped. I grumbled under my breath and sat up.
When I looked down at my open textbook I saw there was a piece of folded paper tucked into the center crease. I subtly glanced around wondering if someone nearby had placed it there, but they all looked only slightly more awake than I was moments ago. I picked up the paper and unfolded it. The writing was in a script so perfect that it almost appeared to be typed.
Bella, it read. Leave your window open tonight. It was signed Miles.
Many questions arose from this ambiguous message. First, I wondered how he left it in the first place. I was only asleep for a minute, surely I would have noticed if he interrupted the class. More importantly, I wondered what his message meant for me. He could have changed his mind and decided he wanted to watch over me again. This was possible but unlikely since he already told me that there would not be a repeat of last night. Maybe he would come to tell me to leave campus, lead Victoria away from here.
After class I went to my dorm. I released the locks in the window before collapsing on my bed. I thought about what I should do about my situation with Victoria. She had sought after me in Forks for weeks but was driven away by the wolves and she had not been back since. I figured she had not gotten to me yet here in Alaska because I was constantly surrounded by witnesses. No matter how much she wanted me dead, Victoria would not want to risk punishment by the Volturi. This would explain the killing that took place yesterday. The student had been a good distance from the school buildings. Her massage was loud and clear. The next time I was truly alone, would be when she would make her move.
The afternoon sun fell on my back as I laid in bed thinking. I heard students outside my building enjoying the nice weather. I took comfort in knowing the sun and many witnesses would keep her away for now. It would be enough to keep me calm until Miles came. I drifted into sleep.
When I opened my eyes, the room was dark. My clock radio said it was ten. I couldn't believe how long I had slept.
"Hey there, girly."
I jumped up in bed and turned to the dark corner his voice had come from, my eyes struggling to adjust. My heart rate had doubled.
"Don't have a heart attack on me," he said.
I reached over to my desk and turned on the lamp. Miles sat cross legged on Amy's old bed grinning at me. He had his sketch pad in his lap.
"I thought you said you wouldn't come back here," I said even though I couldn't have been happier to see him.
"I was having an unusual day," he said. "Cut me some slack."
I continued to glare at him. He wasn't getting off the hook that easily.
He laughed. "Look," he said. "I'm sorry for how I acted. I am not used to people talking to me. Humans keep their distance from me and I usually prefer it that way. But you, Bella, you're something else. I'm curious about you."
I couldn't believe he wanted to talk to me. I had so many questions I wanted to ask. "How do you know the family in Denali?" I asked eagerly.
"No, no," he said. "You spill first. I need to hear what you know before I give anything else about myself away."
How frustrating. I didn't want to give certain things away either. Some secrets were not mine to share, as Jacob had said once. Could I trust him? "What did you want to know?" I asked.
"How did you know what I was?"
This was an easy question. "Your eyes," I answered. "The family I used to be close to... they had the same color eyes as you. Just like those in Denali. You only drink the blood of animals."
"You're observant," he said. "Who are these other vampires? The ones you used to know."
I ran my hand through my hair, contemplating what I should tell him. "Carlisle Cullen's family," I admitted. The name got caught in my throat.
"Tanya has mentioned the Cullens to me," he said. Miles' mouth formed a straight line. He seemed bothered by something.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I know one of the males in the coven," he said. My breathing quickened. "I fought Jasper Whitlock in the newborn wars many decades ago."
I looked at him in shock. He had fought my former family. I pictured all of those crescent-shaped scars crawling up Jasper's arms; Miles did that to him. He wasn't safe at all! I was shaking again, this time out of anger. He got up and approached me. But like a coward, I slid back into the corner. He stopped at the edge of my bed, looking hurt.
"Bella, I didn't want to hurt him," he said earnestly. "I was forced to fight." He sighed. "I was turned by a man named Samuel. He was a leader of a newborn army he had single-handedly created in Texas. We were a weak group. I only followed Samuel's orders out of fear and confusion from being newly changed. He kept saying that we had kill someone named Jasper Whitlock because he supposedly had some ability to control the minds of his enemy."
He was making Jasper out to be a sadistic manipulator. I had to interrupt. "That's not true," I said bitterly. "Jasper is extraordinarily compassionate. He is able to sense people's emotions and subtly calm them down."
Miles nodded. "It doesn't surprise me that Samuel would lie to us," he said. "When we came across Jasper and Maria's army, I knew it was a lost cause. We were severely outnumbered. I was able to get close Jasper though. I bit him. I wasn't the person I am now. I was insane with thirst. Our army was so weak; I had never even tasted blood yet. After I bit him, Jasper threw me far from where we were fighting. I didn't want to go back to Samuel, so I ran."
"You left the war to live on your own?" I asked.
He was looking down at the floor now, wringing his hands. "I guess you could say it's a bad habit of mine," he laughed humorlessly. "I ran from the civil war as well. You know what's more pathetic than that? I didn't dodge the war because I was afraid of dying, but because I couldn't stand the thought of banding together with others. I had always wanted to be on my own.
"After my confrontation with Jasper I ran as far north as I could. I never stopped. I stayed as far away from people as possible because I didn't want to have death on my hands. If I was already damned as a vampire, I wasn't about to become a killer as well.
So, I made it all the way to Denali. I was very weak from thirst when I came across Tanya, Kate and Irina when they were hunting. I had never considered hunting animals. Meeting them completely changed my way of thinking. I realized that I didn't have to be a monster. They were incredibly kind to me. Tanya wanted me to stay with them."
"Why didn't you?" I asked.
"I have never been what you would call a people person, never had an interest in family. Having never tasted human blood before, it didn't take me too long before I could control my thirst to the point I could be around humans. I've been taking college courses and practicing my art ever since. I enjoy being sort of a nomad."
He looked up at me, studying my expression. "Still mad at me?" he asked.
I allowed him a smile. "I suppose not," I admitted.
His nervous posture relaxed a bit and he sat down on the edge of my bed.
"What happened between you and the Cullens?" he asked. "If they were willing to risk everything for you, why would they leave?"
I had never been asked this directly before, not even with Jake. It hurt and my eyes began to fill with tears. "I messed things up," I said. "He didn't want me anymore." The tears were spilling over now. It was so much harder saying it out loud.
Miles moved closer to me and gave me a gentle hug. It was strange to feel his cold arms around me. My first instinct was to shy away from him but it felt nice. I had missed this feeling.
"I'm sorry that happened to you, Bella," he said, letting go of me. "It's late. Get some more sleep. I'll make sure you're safe."
"Thank you," I said.
He sat with his back against the wall next to where I laid down. I grabbed his arm and held it close, resting my cheek against him. The coolness calmed me. I imagined it belonged to him and feel into a deep and peaceful sleep.