Chapter 6 - The Getting Past

Summer rushed back into the design room and slammed the door shut. She had an angry look on her face like she was about to slap someone silly. She had a slight wetness in her eyes, and she looked sad as well. As Leah examined her, she couldn't figure out what Summer was feeling.

"I just cannot stand him." Summer said, nearly breaking down. "I just want to quit my job, and move away so I'm not near him. I lived for 6 years of my life without him, getting over him, and finding something worth living for, and as soon as I think my life is in good standings, there he is, my main business partner for my dream job!" Summer screamed.

Leah looked at her with sympathy, and knew exactly where she was. Leah had once had her heart broken as well, and not that it was in the same measures as Seth took it, she could still understand. "I know it sucks babe, but we gotta do this!"

Seth walked back in the room with silence. He barley glanced at Summer sitting at the end of the table where majority of his things were. He brushed past Leah, giving an almost silent apology. He sat about five seats away from Summer and laid his head on the table. Leah knew that it was probably time that they both do some talking, instead of Seth yelling at Summer to grow up. She quietly slipped out of the room, and shut the door, taking both of them from their silent oasis. Summer looked up and saw Leah heading for her office, and knew exactly what she was trying to do. Seth looked over at the door and realized the same thing, and put his head back down.

"You know, this can't last forever." He mumbled.

Summer still had not said a word to him since they broke up over 6 years ago. She was afraid to speak to him. She knew that she still loved him, it isn't often you find the person you know you're destined to be with for the rest of your life when you're 16 years old, and then they just kill your heart. How was she as a person supposed to just let that go. She told her self over and over again that she would never speak to Seth again, and even if by some crazy circumstance they were in the same place, at the same time she would never even give him a glance. She hated him for what he had done to her, even though she still longed for him. She would never be able to forgive someone who had hurt her so much, and put her through all of the emotions she felt while trying to get past him in college.

"So, you're just planning on sitting here and not speaking to me for the next 6 months then?" He asked, pulling Summer away from her thoughts.

She looked at him directly in the eye. "Pretty much, yes." She said, the first three words she had spoken directly to Seth since High School.

"So, you've actually opened your mouth and spoken to me, so that is a good start." He said, almost trying to be funny.

Summer looked at him quizzically, making him feel very dumb for what he had just said.

"... Or not?" He said again.

"Does it make you feel like a complete idiot sitting here talking to me like we are friends when you have got to know that I want nothing to do with you, and the only reason that I am sitting here right now is because I adore my job, and worked my ass off to be here right now." Summer asked him.

Seth looked at her in shock. "Well, I just never heard you say that before... I guess I just.. Well I guess I figured that.. I had some idea that you.. You know probably had some kind of anger towards the situation..." He said in way to many words.

Summer looked at him again like he was a complete imbecile. "Well you know.. I only hate you." She said with a smirk on her face.

Seth just wanted to tell her so badly that he'd broken up with her because he wanted her to be able to pursue her dreams, and end up where she is today. He wanted to tell her how he had fallen into pieces and started to cry after she walked away when he had told her that he did not love her anymore. She would never believe him, even if it choked him up to tell her everything. The damage was obviously done. It was hard for Seth to remember it had been over 6 years since everything happened, due to the fact that him and Summer both still looked so young. It was hard for him to grasp the fact that they weren't dating, since they were sitting in the same room. He just wanted to tell her that he loved her, and tell her how beautiful she looked. He shifted his eyes back to her, watching her look through her magazine, and bit her bottom lip, like she always did when she was nervous.

"Why are you nervous?" Seth said, catching her off guard.

"Nervous? What makes... what makes you say that?" She somewhat stuttered.

"You're biting your bottom lip..." He said.

It was hard for Summer to remember that Seth knew her better than anyone in this world. Better than her father, her best friends, or even her current fiancee. "It doesn't matter." She ended up saying.

"Well, I guess since that the day is about over I am just going to go. I'm glad that you finally talked to me, even though it was just to tell me that you hated me. But oh well I guess, it is good to see you." Seth said, smiling like he always did to make her feel bad about what she had done, and turned around.

Summer waited until he left the room, lied her head down and started to cry. Seth had forgotten his laptop so he turned around, and walked back into the room to find Summer with her head down in her own tears. He stood there for a moment unsure of what to do.

"Hey... what's the matter?" He asked her.

Summer looked up quickly, very startled, and wiped her tears away. She smudged her mascara, and looked like a mess. "Just leave Seth." She said, and wiped away another tear.

"No, I don't want to leave, what is the matter Summer?" He asked her again.

"Seth, seriously. Just leave me alone. I do not want to even think that you're here. You know I hate you so why are you still standing there. This is all of your fault, just leave me the hell alone." She said with a bitterness in her voice.

"Okay, whatever. I am gone." Seth said, slamming the door behind him.

Summer smacked her head against the table softly. "What am I going to do, Jesus Lord what am I going to do?"

Angry with the situation Seth got off the elevator and ran to his room at the Hilton. He jumped on his bed and started screaming at the top of his lungs. He wasn't really yelling anything, just angry at the world. Angry because the girl he had loved for all these years absolutely hated him, and if he would have just told her the truth, then maybe things wouldn't be this way.

"I DID IT FOR YOU! I DID IT ALL FOR YOU SO YOU COULD BE WHERE YOU ARE!!!!" He screamed.

Leah was outside his hotel room, she wanted to talk to Seth about Summer. She had heard him yell that, and knocked on the door.

"Yeah" Seth said.

"Hey Seth, it is me Leah... I want to talk to you." She said politely.

Seth opened the door, with a red face, and looked very angry.

"Well, good evening to you as well." She said to him.

"Yeah... I'm a little pissed off." He said, closing the door, and following Leah to the couch.

"I understand, but I am going to talk to you a little bit." Leah started. "I met Summer my first day of college at Brown. We were roommates, and at first I thought I would hate her. She would always sit around in the room all sad. In class she would barely talk, and she did not do anything... ever. Now, from pictures she had put up on her bulletin board, it sure looked to me like Summer had a social life. A good life from California. For all that is me, I could not figure out why in the world this beautiful girl was always sad, and always crying herself to sleep. I eventually started to talk to her about things, and we got close enough that one day she spilled her entire heart to me, and I found myself balling, just sobbing like it was my own situation..."

Seth interrupted her. "What did she tell you?" He said, with interest.

"Well, I had asked her in mid-November why she was always crying herself to sleep. She told me

"I was in love with this boy, and I still am. He was my everything, I didn't think that anything would ever come between us. We had fought of course, and we had been through a ton of obstacles through the 3 years that we were together, but we were in love. I had lost my virginity to him, and I loved him more than I had ever loved anyone or anything. One day, we were at this party near the end of the school year. He told me that he thought it would be better for our relationship if we weren't together anymore. I was crushed, but I knew there had to some kind of you know, reason. So, I set up this amazing thing for him to replay something he had done for me. I stood on a coffee cart and proclaimed my love for him, and he just stared at me. He just stared at me, like I was an babbling bafoon. I felt like a complete idiot, I told him that if he really wanted to break up then I would get out of his life if he would tell me that he didn't love me anymore. I told him to look me directly in the eyes and tell me that he didn't love me anymore, and you know... he did. He looked me right in the eyes and told me that.

"SUMMER I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE." He said that to me."

Seth sat in disbelief. Summer had told Leah everything as it had happened. Seth now knew how Summer felt and had felt since that day that he had told her he didn't love her anymore. He had done it for her.

"I did that for her." He said.

"Excuse me, what? You said you didn't love her anymore to benefit her?" Leah asked.

"I never got into Brown. She told me that if I didn't get into Brown she wasn't going to go, and we could find a place to go together. I was ashamed that I didn't get in, but I was more worried about the fact that Summer would screw up her life if she didn't go. I had to do something that would make her still go. The only way I knew how to do it was to tell her that we couldn't date anymore, and tell her that I didn't love her. I knew that it would hurt her, do you think that it didn't hurt me? I was crushed, and I still am from that situation. But look at her now. All happy with her life, in the career she always wanted, with a best friend like you, and obviously a good man with that ring on her finger. If I would have told her that I didn't get in to Brown, you wouldn't know Summer Roberts, you would have roomed with some slut from Kansas, and who knows, maybe you wouldn't be working for Aiden right now. This all comes back to me, but Summer doesn't know why I did what I did, and she hates me, because I broke her heart into a million pieces. What else can I Leah? What else is there to say? I am still in love with her, I will be until the day I die, but I can't tell her anything, she hates me." Seth said, choked up.

Leah's jaw dropped to the ground. Her eyes popped open like she had just seen a ghost. She looked at Seth in disbelief. She could not believe what she had just heard, but it all made sense; every last bit of it. From the stories that Summer had shared with her about the good times between Seth and her, it sounded like something that he would do. From showing his love to her on a coffee cart, to getting into fights with water polo players so that he could have his love.

"Well Seth, I can't help but say that I am stunned. I would have never expected a story like that one. I was expecting something more along the lines of, 'it just ended up that way, cause I didn't dig her anymore.' Even though that sounds a little more surfer than you... my only question is, why don't you just tell Summer?"

Seth looked at her, and nearly laughed. "Are you joking?" He asked. "Summer would laugh in my face, and tell me to get a life. I'm pretty ecstatic on the fact that she actually spoke to me today. Do you have any idea how long it has been since she has directed words at me?"

Leah nodded her head, she knew how stubborn her best friend could be. Still, she couldn't help but believe Seth, she knew that he was a genuine guy, and she could also tell that he really did love Summer. Even though years had past since they had their once strong flame, new ones had come in and out, and neither of them were the same person as they once were, you can't change emotion.

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Next Chapter:

Seth has an idea Summer has a new guy, but will he see Logan?

Will Summer become jealous when she finds out about Jane?

What will Leah do with the information Seth shared with her?

Will working together become any easier?