Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe and no money is being made from this story. Just borrowed some characters ;)
Thorn D. Cinni: Sorry, no Mouldy-Voldi, my work ignores the end of HBP and DH as I prefer it when people live
CMemlovr, you're doing great work, thanks so much
Lemon hopped down from the bust, its little feet quickly bringing it near the girl's lavatory. Halfway, it turned around for a second, just long enough for Draco to see Lemon sticking out its tongue, then it was gone.
Draco leaned against the stone wall, arms crossed against his chest, waiting for Lemon to return. Suddenly, he heard a tiny plop, and Lemon re-appeared on the suit of armour.
"Done, Master Draco."
Draco nodded in acknowledgement. Seconds passed by, stretching into minutes which felt like hours, at least for Lemon. It started to get agitated, and Draco knew he had to intervene quickly to avoid its becoming noisy as well.
"Will you please be quiet?" he hissed. Lemon stared at him.
"NO!" it squeaked simply.
"Well, then I command you to be silent this instant!"
Again Lemon stared at him long and hard. Unfortunately for Lemon, it was simply unable to ignore such a direct command. It sighed, nodding slightly. Draco turned away to focus on the hallway and the toilets again. Luckily for Lemon, he didn't see it pretending to faint due to being bored stiff.
Everything went as Draco had planned. He hadn't told Lemon that he knew that Longbottom would inevitably come to this floor due to his incredible bad sense of direction. To be honest, it wasn't the first time that Neville had taken the wrong set of stairs, leading him to the wrong floor. He hoped that Lemon would enjoy itself, as it had pestered him about pranking - or rather, killing - Neville all day.
And, speak of the devil… The sound of quick steps could be heard, followed seconds later by the appearance of Neville Longbottom, who hadn't even registered their presence as he dashed for the bathroom. He already had taken the wrong staircase three times after dinner, fallen over a first year, and gotten caught in two vanishing steps – suffice to say, he wasn't having a good day.
All poor Neville wanted was to use the toilet. He'd intended on using the one in his common room, but after his nightmarish ramble through three-quarters of the castle, he'd that the first toilet he encountered on his adventurous journey would be as good as any. As he sprinted through the second-floor corridor, he saw a sign out of the corner of his eye that said something with toilet.
"At last!" he sighed, relieved. He hurried into the room without a second thought. Now that caught Lemon's attention; it sat up, its big eyes following Neville as he entered the wrong bathroom. And that was it. Nothing happened.
"That's it?" Lemon elongated the word "it" sadly. Draco rolled his eyes.
"Wait" he replied softly, putting Lemon on the head of the bust. "Now let's see how you'll like this!" he whispered.
Moments later, another set of footsteps sounded on the stone floor. A sudden splash and loud, girlish scream could be heard coming out of the girls' bathroom, together with high-pitched laughter that could only belong to Moaning Myrtle.
Seconds later McGonagall and Snape hurtled down the corridor to investigate the odd noise. Draco patted himself on the back for remembering to use a Disillusionment Charm on himself and Lemon. Lemon hopped up and down, excited to see what would happen next.
Just as McGonagall and Snape had reached the bathroom, Neville dashed out, shaking and screaming bloody murder. Naturally, Moaning Myrtle followed close behind, still laughing her ghost butt off as she exacted her ghostly justice.
It seemed as if Neville didn't need to breathe, as he continued to scream in one breath. Although he stopped right in front of his teachers, that didn't stop him from waving his arms and screaming hysterically as Moaning Myrtle continued to scare the living daylights out of him.
McGonagall laid her hand on her chest, trying to cope with the fright Neville had given her. Snape was simply staring at the still-screaming Neville, his face an emotionless mask. Nothing could impress nor surprise Severus Snape; after all, he had become accustomed to the accidents and weird situations Neville-I-could-destroy-the-whole-castle-by-simply-throwing-ingredients-wildly-into-potions-Longbottom seemed to cause. To be honest, it seemed inevitable to Snape that Longbottom would eventually go into the wrong bathroom. He was surprised it hadn't happened earlier, actually. Sometimes, when he was really bored, he made bets with Flitwick, the only teacher – besides Minerva- whose company he enjoyed. Most of the bets involved Longbottom; the most recent being when he'd accidentally go into the wrong bathroom. As he'd thought, it was only a matter of time.
'Check!' he thought to himself smugly. But there was still something missing for Severus to win the bet.
Little by little, Neville seemed to notice who he was actually yelling at: Minerva McGonagall, the person for whom he had the most respect (second only to his grandmother, of course); and Severus-I'm-going-to-kill-you-Longbottom!-Snape. His eyes widened and his scream slowly died out. As Neville fainted, he fell directly onto Snape, which naturally caused Moaning Myrtle to laugh even harder. However, noting a strict glare from McGonagall, Myrtle did a disappearing act as fast as inhumanly possible.
Snape tried really hard to repress a smug smile. He had won his bet with Flitwick; Filius had only bet that Neville would go into the bathroom with Moaning Myrtle in it, but Snape had insisted that Neville would faint.
"Check mate!", he murmured, unable to fully suppress a dark chuckle.
McGonagall stared at him disbelievingly. "What did you just say, Severus?!".
"Oh, um… nothing. Take care of Longbottom, will you?" He pushed Neville's unconscious form to the floor and strolled along the corridor towards Flitwick's office, his robes billowing. She could have sworn that she saw his shoulders shaking in laughter. Looking down at Neville (still unconscious, poor thing) lying on the floor, she tutted under her breath.
Even though Snape had rounded the corner and was out of Minerva's sight, she could hear his loud, dark, rumbling laughter.
That bastard.