'Are you still awake?' I shocked awake when I felt the hand on my back. I stood up in a panic and slammed my hands on the table,

'What time is it?!' I need to stalk my target, I need to get out of here, I-!

'Calm down. You got a free day, remember?' I rubbed my eyes a little before turning around to see Chrollo standing there. He lay a hand on my shoulder to make me sit down again. That's right, I've been following my target around for ten days now. She moved around a lot, it'd actually been too tiring for me to handle this time. I didn't even ask for time off; as my official counselor, Chrollo had called my home to ask what was the matter, because teachers had noted that I'd started falling asleep in class, and they were worried. That same evening my parents told me to take the next day off, that someone else was going to take care of my target today.

But instead of going home early, I'd opted to stay in school and study some more in the library.

'It's six in the evening, they'll be closing up soon.' Apparently a little too long. I rubbed my face with both hands when I heard the time, and Chrollo sat down beside me, facing me. 'Why is it so hard this time? According to records you've never had this kind of relapse. Would you like to talk again?'

'It's nothing special, don't worry about it. She just moves around more than I'm used to.' I rubbed my face again before folding my hands in front of me on the still open books, and wondered if any ink had rubbed off on me,

'Or perhaps all this talk about making it easier has left you longing for this easier life, and it's too tiring to realize that a change like that is not going to happen instantaneously?' I turned my head to give him an exasperated reply,

'I really don't feel like talking about stuff like that right now.'

'You look like you could fall asleep again at any minute. Do you need more days off?'

'I can't do that to Pairo.'

'Then how can I help.' Now that it's been ten days, I felt less pressured by this need of his to lend a hand, so I absentmindedly started searching my brain for a way. We'd had talks now and again in the meantime, and it had relaxed me more and more around him. So maybe this was a good time to ask for tips to either stay awake, or decrease the amount of physical activity while stalking someone. By now I felt comfortable enough to do that without being scared of spilling any kind of family secret, and we were all alone at the moment, so that's-

My thought process halted within the second when he rubbed his thumb along my cheek. I closed my eye during, and gave him a questioning look after.

'You had some ink there. You were wondering that, right?'

'Yeah, yeah I was.' I rubbed over it again.

'I'm sorry, I disturbed your thought process.'

'No, that's alright.' I looked back at him, still close, and 'till the end of time I will keep claiming that it was a hallucination from my sleep deprived brain. But apparently it did happen. He inclined his head, and nearly closed his eyes, searching out my lips with his. Not really knowing what to do with the situation, I sat there, frozen, with my eyes wide open for the couple of seconds that that lasted.

'Should I be sorry for that too? Because you had this look in your eyes that you wouldn't mind.' I… I… I… Holy fucking shit. I placed a hand over my mouth and shoved the chair away from him some more. 'Did I cross the boundary? Because I know you're not worried about the effects on our professional relationship at the moment.' All that fucking time claiming he wasn't coming on to me! I glared at him when I remembered every time he'd said that.

'You fucking liar!' I refused to remove the hand from my mouth though. My face was about as red as it could become, and that hand was the only thing keeping it from sight.

'Your first kiss, was it? Is that why you're upset? Or did I misinterpret where this was going?'

'I don't even know where to start.' I muttered insulted through my hand.

'Were you still determining the course? I'm sorry if I've taken action too early. I thought you were ready. But I'm not a liar. I was never coming on to you. It was never my intention for it to go this way. But over the course of the last couple of weeks, I do believe this is what I wanted to do.'

'But you don't feel anything.' The scowl was making way for a more confused state of mind.

'I do. I've told you this. I don't show anything, but I do feel everything. One of these feelings having become this kind of affection.' I covered my face with both hands and started trembling a little. This wasn't happening, this wasn't… I'm not like those dimwits at school, I'm not blushing! I squeezed my eyes shut when thinking all of that, until I heard movement again. Chrollo had gotten up from his chair, and leant down to take my hands away from my face. 'I'm a little torn between leaving you to get through this process alone and to kiss you again.' I looked up in his eyes like a deer in headlight. So somewhere I was really, really pissed when he leant our hands in my lap and closed his lips in on mine again, and somewhere I couldn't help to stay completely frozen. Well, not completely frozen.

He stopped an inch away from me.

'You're trembling, do I need to stop for today?' I squeezed his hands tightly when he asked the question, and he took the sign as that he was allowed to continue. This time I closed my eyes after a couple of seconds. I just didn't know what to do with all of this… Slowly, the trembling started to move from my hands to my heart. Is it going that way? Has it been going this way? I don't know what this way is supposed to feel like. But now that the step is being taken, I don't seem to want it to stop.

I don't know what's happening, am I happy? Do I want this? I actually trust him so much that I want this to happen?

'Don't cry.' He parted lips when that single tear had made its way down. He let go of one of my hands to stroke it away. 'Should we go somewhere more appropriate, or do you want to stay here?'

'Just… let's just stay here for now.' I couldn't look back up in his eyes anymore. I was too confused about everything. What's happening?

His hand lingered on my cheek, and a second later I closed my eyes when I felt a kiss on my forehead. It was warm, it was so affectionate… It was so unlike what I felt for my family…

'Do I need to kiss you again to stop this trembling as well?' He softly stroke with his thumb over my cheek, and I shook my head. This school even unofficially rejects anything non-Christian; if anywhere, I never expected this to happen with anyone here, especially with a teacher. My heart was pounding its way out of my chest.

Chrollo let go of me after a couple moments of silence, and kneeled down in front of me, sitting up on his knees. He lay his hands in my lap palm up, waiting for me to grab hold of them myself, but this time I decided to take action myself. Without lingering on it too much, I let my hands find their way to the sides of his face and lowered my head to kiss him again – if only to confirm that it had actually felt good. My heart started beating even faster, when Chrollo accommodated in this and leaned up some more, casually laying his hands against the side of my legs. My body was demanding for it to go further than that. I don't know what's happening, but apparently it's something good. I was trying to stop myself, but it was Chrollo that broke it off. This wasn't the time or place for any of this.

'Should I inform that I'm going to lock up so we can stay a bit longer?' Saying it out loud like that though, made me panic a little, and I shook my head,

'I—it's alright. I need to go home before they start worrying about me.' I want to do everything that just crossed my mind, but I can't and won't right now…

'I'll drive you. You're not in a state to do that right now.'

'Thanks.' He stood up first, reaching out a hand to help me up as well.

'I told you, all the thanks I need is in your expression.' He lay his hand against the side of my face again, giving me another short, soft kiss.

'D-don't do that without warning, I'm not—' Goddamn I hate myself for stammering right now, I'm always calm and composed. I sighed deeply and hung my head. I heard that soft laugh of his leaving his mouth again when I did.

'Don't worry about any of this. Just get some rest for the remainder of the day. We'll talk about it in between classes tomorrow if you want to.'

'How am I supposed to get any rest after this?' He lifted my head by the chin when he heard those mutterings, and made me look straight at him.

'You rather I just stay with you for the rest of the day then? Will that calm you down more?' First thought was that it was another joke of his, and I think it started out that way, but he was actually ready to do this if I needed it.

'I don't think that would help a whole lot.' I cursed myself again when I heard the skip in my voice. I felt a ton of stupid questions going through me that I never wanted to have. "Is he just toying with me" "Does he really like me in that way" "Did anyone see this" "Someone like him can't possibly be interested in someone like me" "It's impossible for this to happen, and it shouldn't" "I'm going to wake up in the morning, and this will all have been an illusion". So yeah, maybe him actually staying over would help take that uneasiness away… but no matter how many times I thought about that, it was a suffocating thought for now. 'Just drop me off at my parents' house, that's good enough.'

'Understood.' I missed the physical contact as soon his hand slid away from my skin. I've never been this needy for it… but then again, I never knew what I was missing, did I.

A/N

Aaaahw, Kurapika's reached this part of adolescence. Welcome.

*Kicks and beats Chrollo for taking advantage of Kurapika like that*
*Kicks and beats Kurapika for falling for all of it*
*I goddamn want someone in my life who acts like Chrollo does here*