To Walk In My Shoes

Glow60

As always thank you for your follows, favorites and especially to the ones who have taken the time to review. I really appreciate them.

I had originally planned for this chapter to be part summer camp and then lead into Tony's time at boarding school. As I began to write it I realized there was something very important the boy Tony was going to reveal to Gibbs so the boarding school will have to wait until the next chapter.

Lastly, I wanted the boy Tony to begin to realized that he is not quite alone as he thought...

To NCIS fan - I grinned to myself when you wrote. Darryl said he and Tony were responsible for each other. Did Tony feel responsible for Darryl's death - for the fact that he couldn't save him? I bet he did - and still feels that way. When you wrote this it was almost like you were reading my mind.

To Kristafied - I try my best not to get too graphic in situations like that.

I hope you enjoy? I am hoping to get the next chapter up by next weekend.

CHAPTER 6

Camp Songbird…

It was almost one in the morning when Doctor Sullivan had to carry the grieving twelve-year-old to the camp infirmary. The boy would not stop crying and finally collapse into the doctor's arms. Sullivan had now wished he had waited a little longer before he told the child about his friend's death but he knew this boy was not going to give up until he knew the truth. Once they were inside the camp infirmary, Sullivan laid the boy down on one of the beds and gave him a sedative to help him sleep. The doctor covered the boy with a blanket and left one of the lights on. He really didn't want the child to be left alone so he was going to have Jake check on him now and then. Sullivan took one last look at the boy before he closed the door.

The camp counselors were meeting in the main building to go over their plans on how they were going to handle this tragic situation. The first thing they wanted to do was to start calling all the parents to let them know that their children were safe before it hit the news. They really didn't want some poor mother and father calling them thinking it was their children that had drowned. At eight o'clock they were going to gather all the children into the mess hall and gently break the news to them. All they were going to tell the children was that their friend Darrell had taken one of the boats out on the lake and slipped and fell into the water and drowned. Sullivan made arrangements for a couple of his associates to be available when they break the news to the children. They would be there just incase they were needed.

The one thing Sullivan was a little relieved about was that he was not going to have to break the news to Darrell's mother. The police told him they would handle it. They would have their Chaplain along with them when they break the news to that poor woman.

By the time the sun started burning through the heavy mist that hovered over the lake, the children were already up and heading toward the mess hall for their morning meal. None of them were aware of the tragedy that had taken place only a few hours earlier. When Peter and Joseph started asking questions about where their bunkmates were, Jake had to lie to them. He told them both Darrell and Tony ate too much and got sick last night. They stayed over night in the infirmary.

Meanwhile at the infirmary, Tony was just starting to wake up. He had no idea where he was or how he got there. He felt strange. It took him a few minutes but he finally managed to sit up. He tried to stand up but he fell back down on the bed. The second time he tried to stand up he finally managed to stay up. He slowly moved over to the window and looked out. The camp looked deserted. He wondered where everyone was. His green eyes scanned the compound and they finally rested on the lake. He saw the rowboats and that was when it hit him. His best friend Darrell was dead and it was his entire fault. Darrell told him that they were responsible for each other. He failed his friend. Tears began to fall down his cheeks.

The emotional wounded child could not take his eyes off the rowboats. He whispered to his dead friend, "Darrell…I…I am so sorry. Please…please forgive me. You were my best friend and you didn't have to…to die alone. I…I should have been there with you. You should have let me go with you. All you had to do was ask."

Tony didn't hear the door open as he continued to stare out the window. Jake walked into the room and was surprised to see Tony awake and standing by the window. Doctor Sullivan had told him that the sedative should keep Tony out for another couple of hours. He walked up behind the boy, "Tony…are you okay…buddy?"

Tony jumped and wiped the tears out of his eyes. He ignored Jake's question and asked his own. "Where is everybody?"

"Doctor Sullivan and the counselors are breaking the news to all the kids right now."

"What…what are they telling them?"

"That Darrell decided to take one of the rowboats out to the middle of the lake last night. He accidently slipped into the water and drowned."

Tony thought to himself, "My fault…it was my fault...I should have been with him. I could have stopped him or at least went with him. It…was…my…fault."

Jake could tell the boy wasn't going to be able to stand up much longer. He grabbed Tony by the arm and helped him to lie back down on the bed. He covered Tony with a blanket and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Tony…would you like me to get you something to eat or drink?"

Tony just shook his head and within seconds he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

Around three in the afternoon Doctor Sullivan stopped by to check on Tony. He found the boy awake.

"Tony…I just sent Jack to get you a sandwich and a glass of milk?"

"I am not hungry."

"Tony…the last time you ate was yesterday and you need to get something in your stomach or you are going to get sick."

"I am not hungry and I don't care if I get sick. When is my dad coming for me? I hate this place and I don't want to be here anymore. Please…I…want…to…go…home."

The doctor could tell the grieving boy was starting to shut down and he was going to do his best not to allow it to happen. "Tony…we have been trying to get a hold of your dad. His secretary told us that your father was with one of his business partners. They were in an area where there was no phone service. She believes it will be sometime tomorrow before he will call. When he does she will tell him to call here. Son…is there any other relative we can call?"

Tony just shook his head. He knew his dad was trying to keep this whole mess quiet and didn't want any of their family members to know what happen to him. Senior believed it would bring shame to the father and son.

"Okay…Tony…try and get some more sleep but I am going to insist that you eat something first. Jake should be back any minute and I better hear from him that you put something in that stomach of yours. Do you hear me?"

Tony looked at the doctor and nodded his head. He thought to himself, "I will eat whatever Jake brings me but after tonight you won't have to worry about me anymore."

Sullivan smiled and patted Tony on his leg. "You get something inside you and then get some sleep. I will be back later to check on you and maybe we can talk a little."

For the rest of the day anytime anyone walked into the room he faked that he was sleeping. It was a little after dark when Tony decided it was time to make his move. Jake had fallen asleep in the chair. Tony quietly snuck out of the bed. He looked out the window and from the camp lights he could see only a few of the adults walking around. He peeked out the door and didn't see anyone nearby. It was time for him to leave. Once he was outside he closed the door and headed toward the dock. About halfway there he saw Doctor Sullivan and quickly hid behind the side of one of the cabins. The doctor and one of the senior counselors were heading toward the mess hall. They were talking about several of the parents have decided to come and pick up their kids the first thing in the morning. They were going to have to get the children ready before the parents get here.

Tony waited for the two adults to go inside before he continued on his way to the dock area. He jumped into one of the outer boats because he figured nobody would notice it was missing. He then rowed it out to the center of the lake.

It was dark but not too dark. The moon was out and there was some light coming from the camp. It was just enough for him to make out the small waves hitting the side of the boat. Every now and then he would hear something splashing in the water.

Tony thought about Darrell and how his friend had left a note with Doctor Sullivan so he could tell his mom that he loved her one last time. It was a good thing for Darrell to do that because he knew his friend loved his mother as much as she loved him. Tony thought about his father but he didn't think his dad would care one way or another. Maybe…just maybe by him doing this it would be a good thing for his dad. His dad would not have to worry anymore what to do with him anymore. He felt he was always in his father's way and maybe by him doing this it would free his father of ever having to worry about him again. Maybe just maybe he will see get to see his mother again.

Tony stood up and moved toward the edge of the boat. He looked down into the dark water. He wondered what Darrell had been thinking at his last moments of life. He wondered if this was going to hurt. He closed his eyes and prepared himself to jump.

"DINOZZO DON'T!"

Tony opened his eyes and looked around but didn't see anyone. He grinned nervously to himself. He must have been just imagining that someone was calling his last name. Tony closed his eyes again and prepared to jump.

"TONY…PLEASE…DON'T…JUMP."

Tony opened his eyes and looked around but again he didn't see anyone but he knew he was not imagining it. He did hear someone beg him not to take his life. He couldn't really make out the voice because it was almost a whisper, "Dar…Darrell is that you? Please answer me…"

Gibbs was taken aback when Tony first heard him yell out. He was almost heartbroken when he saw the boy move to the edge of the boat to jump for the second time. He didn't know what else to do but try and plead with the boy not to jump.

He was relieved when he heard Tony call out Darrell's name. Gibbs didn't care who Tony thought he was as long as he stopped.

Tony sat down in the boat and waited for an answer but nothing came. He began to cry because he missed his friend. He hoped to join him but now believes Darrell did not want him to die. He picked up the oars and slowly row the boat back to the dock.

As Tony headed back camp, Gibbs couldn't help but wonder if he had not been there who or what was it that stopped Tony from taking his life…