OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO
kachi toka make toka wa hitsuyou nai ne bokura ni
Winning and losing are both unnecessary for us
OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Mid August

"Wolfram, you look horrible."

"Good morning to you too, Anissina."

Yuuri frowned at Wolfram's lacklustre response. He'd been worried about Wolfram since just after Lieven had returned to Grantz and Wolfram had thrown himself and his men whole-heartedly into their training. For the remainder of the spring and well past midsummer, Yuuri had seen less of Wolfram the he had when he'd been flitting back and forth between worlds every other day.

The last time he could remember Wolfram looking healthy was at his 18th birthday ball – a ceremony significantly smaller than his 16th, but still large enough that it had kept Wolfram busy at the castle for a week. At the end of that week, Wolfram had regained some of the weight he'd lost over the previous months and enough energy that he managed to win almost half the arguments he had with Gunter about the organization of the ball. That had been almost a month ago, and Wolfram's health was back to what it had been before the ball.

He did not, in fact, look horrible. He looked pale, he had bags under his eyes, and his uniform hung off his thinner body since he hadn't had time to bother getting it re-tailored. He also no longer had the aura of imminent explosiveness. Instead he seemed tired all the time, which Yuuri thought was strange since Wolfram had been sleeping hard and deep every night for at least eight hours, without the restlessness and near violence that had previously made sharing a bed with him troublesome.

This new pale, slim, sedate Wolfram was, if anything, prettier than before. His facial features were accentuated, giving him a more delicate, elfin look. His eyes, particularly, looked huge and the dark colour around them made the green of his iris shine even brighter. His uniform didn't do anything for his new figure, but his nightdresses made him look ephemeral, other-worldly. Magical. Although, Yuuri had to admit, Wolfram had always technically been magical and other-worldly, it was just that now he looked the part.

It was unfortunate that now that he was so calm and easy to be with (and to look at), Wolfram was never around. He left every morning with his troops just after breakfast, and usually returned after supper. Often barely early enough to spend some time with Greta before she went to sleep and then go to bed himself. Yuuri had no idea what Wolfram did during this 'special training', but he was sure that it didn't involve eating. Given how much weight he'd lost and how ravenously he ate at breakfast, Wolfram probably didn't take lunch or supper while in the field.

Wolfram's men weren't faring much better. Yuuri didn't normally notice these things – the army was almost completely under Gwendal's control although, if he'd wanted to, Yuuri could command their obedience at a moment's notice. However, when over the last few months, every man but three (including Wolfram himself) in one troupe had been taken off duty for at least a week for medical reasons, even the most unobservant person would find that strange.

When he asked Gisela about it, she told him the most common reason was exhaustion and could he please make Wolfram see her for a check-up? She didn't even seem angry about it – just worried. Which, in turn, made Yuuri worried.

He didn't get a chance to talk to Wolfram about it until a few days later. They still slept together, but Wolfram was often so tired by the time he got to bed that Yuuri couldn't even bring up Gisela's request before Wolfram fell asleep. When he finally did manage to bring it up, Wolfram had simply shrugged it off as unimportant. Yuuri hadn't pushed at the time, but now he was regretting his decision.

"Wolf, maybe you should make that appointment to see Gisela."

Anissina perked up. "I can walk with you there if you like – I was just about to show Gisela my new Let's-Measure-Your-Fever-kun. It takes your body temperature and translates the level of heat into an easily interpretable colour spectrum from green to purple."

"Not this morning," Wolfram answered dully, hardly pausing between bites. "It might rain this afternoon, so we have to get out there early."

Rain? Yuuri looked doubtfully out the window at the clear, August sky. It seemed highly unlikely. He was about to mention this when two of Wolfram's men marched up to the dining room entrance and noticeably came to attention.

"Von Bielefeld-kaka! The men have assembled as you ordered!" declared a violet-eyed soldier that Yuuri vaguely recognized. His form was perfect, but even Yuuri could see the strain he was under just holding himself stiffly upright as protocol demanded.

Wolfram obviously noticed too. He stood from his mostly-finished breakfast and addressed his men. "At ease. I'm coming at once."

They relaxed immediately, no longer trembling slightly with effort. Watching them gamely and uncomplainingly struggle to simply remain standing, Yuuri made a decision. "Wait. You two can go back to your… group-thing, and tell them that you're all getting the day off." Wolfram looked outraged, but Yuuri didn't give him the chance to say anything, grabbing him by the arm and bodily dragging him off. "Wolfram, you're coming with me."

The surprised expressions melted off the soldier's faces and they shot each other knowing smirks as the royal couple passed them. Yuuri realized they'd probably horribly misinterpreted what was happening, but even that wasn't as important as making sure Wolfram was okay. And, if the fight he was putting up right now was any indication, he was at best at 50%.

"Unhand me at once!" Wolfram demanded, squirming in Yuuri's hold, but not quite enough to throw him off. "And how dare you countermand my orders to my men! They most certainly do not have the day off – we're on a schedule! Dietger, get back here! Damn it, Yuuri!"

"Yes, yes…" Yuuri muttered, hardly listening. Gisela's office was far enough away that this was hardly going to be pleasant. He resigned himself to a few bruises and an angry fiancé for the next few days.

Finally, Wolfram managed to pull his arm out of Yuuri's grasp and crossed his arms, refusing to budge another step. "Explain yourself immediately, wimp."

It was somehow reassuring to hear that nickname/insult again. Yuuri couldn't remember the last time Wolfram had called him that. "We're going to see Gisela."

"That again?" Wolfram scoffed. "I told you there was no reason to see her. I'm fine, really. If I see her, all she'll do is lecture me about stupid things and tell me to take it easy on my men. It's a waste of time."

"Oh? If I hadn't been better brought up, I might be insulted, Kaka," came a sweet voice from behind Wolfram.

Oh shit. Suddenly Yuuri's weird flailing and panicked looks made sense. Wolfram winced. "Gisela. I was just on my way to see you."

"Really? I'm so happy!" Gisela chirped. Wolfram wasn't fooled for a second. "I'll clear my schedule, then. We have a lot of stupid things to discuss!"

Yuuri was honestly pleased that Wolfram would be taken care of, but he was also somewhat terrified of Gisela's anger, so he made a quick retreat. It wasn't until he was long out of earshot that he realized he had nothing to do. He was caught up in his paperwork and Gunter was in lessons with Greta this morning. He supposed he could get some extra sword training in, but it was already warm and would only get hotter. In any case, he'd had enough free time lately that Conrad had been working at his swordsmanship with him almost twice as much as before. It had made a huge difference in his skill, but it made the activity something less of a novelty and more of a chore.

Also, a quick glance at the courtyard showed Conrad hard at work training his own troops. Yuuri wouldn't interrupt that.

Greta was in class, Cheri-sama was still in bed, probably with a hangover, Anissina might want help fine-tuning let's-measure-your-fever-kun, and Gwendal was in meetings all morning. That just left Murata, and he was rarely at the castle these days.

Which was just as well, since whenever when he did visit, he seemed generally irritated. Particularly around Yuuri and Wolfram, but most people occasionally got the sage's look-of-disapproval. It was weird, sometimes it was kind of like he was warning them about… something. The only one who was safe from 'the look' was Greta, who still got the same affectionate smile she earned from everyone.

With plenty of free time and nothing to do with it, Yuuri eventually grabbed a book from the library and waited outside the infirmary for when Gisela was done with Wolfram. It wasn't long before he could hear Wolfram's voice raised far above the level the doors were meant to keep private. It sounded like they'd be there for a while.

"There is nothing wrong with my level of maryoku, and nothing wrong with my men. We keep a close eye on each other and if there are any problems, I send them straight to you or the other medics."

Gisela murmured something Yuuri couldn't make out.

"That's completely unfair! I've performed every diplomatic duty required by my station and I have most certainly not neglected my daughter!"

This was true. Wolfram spent most of the time he was at the castle with Greta. This still only amounted to a few hours a week, but sometimes that was as much time as Yuuri could spare for her, so he was hardly in a position to criticize. Even gone for the majority of nearly every day, Wolfram still kept his hand in Greta's education – Yuuri knew for a fact that Wolfram had personally spoken to Greta's dance instructor about adding more of the human countries' dances to her repertoire. He had no idea why Wolfram had done this but, if nothing else, it made it clear that Wolfram still considered Greta's education a priority.

Gisela's murmuring was sounding more like lecturing and her voice as coming closer and closer to her 'sergeant' voice. Yuuri leaned closer to the door to try to make out what she was saying.

"–Julia-sama was during wartime!" …that didn't make much sense.

"How dare you bring that up!" Wolfram sounded shocked. "Neither my men nor I have come even close, and you know that."

"Nevertheless, Kaka," there it was. Gisela's sergeant voice, "I must insist that you pace yourself and your men, or take someone with you to monitor you at all times. Is that understood?"

Wolfram scoffed loudly enough to be heard through the doors. Then there was a pause. "Is Kostya still stationed in the castle?"

"He is." Gisela reacted to Wolfram's calmer attitude by calming down herself. After that, Yuuri couldn't hear a singe word either of them said no matter how hard he strained.

Eventually, the door opened and Wolfram stomped out, followed by a now-amused Gisela.

"Next time, don't wait until I have to go to His Majesty if you don't want to be embarrassed," Gisela said.

"I didn't think you were serious… Yuuri?" Wolfram finally noticed Yuuri waiting for them. "What are you doing here?"

Yuuri shrugged. "I didn't have anything better to do, and I thought that since you had the day off…" Wolfram scowled. "…we could maybe do something. Or something."

Wolfram looked surprised, then thoughtful. "I appreciate the offer, but it isn't necessary. Thank you, though, Yuuri."

It was Yuuri's turn to look surprised. He'd never had Wolfram turn him down before. Of course, he'd never really offered to spend time with him before – there had never been any need to. After all, whenever Wolfram could, he'd be beside Yuuri whether he wanted him there or not. "Oh. Okay then. See you tonight, I guess."

"Mmm," Wolfram agreed distractedly. "You wouldn't know where Greta is, would you?"

Greta again. Yuuri knew he should be happy that Wolfram got along so well with his daughter, but it seemed lately like Greta was the only thing Wolfram cared about. Besides training for over 12 hours a day, of course. "She's with Gunter right now, then she has etiquette lessons."

"Ah. Thank you." Wolfram started off, with almost his normal determined gait. "See you tonight, then."

"Right." Yuuri watched as Wolfram left, no doubt to steal Greta away from her teachers. He had no idea why he felt uncomfortable, why the air seemed lower in oxygen than normal. He certainly didn't know why staring at Wolfram's retreating back felt like a horrible premonition – after all, he'd see him again in a few hours. Yuuri frowned and made his way back to the library. There was no way he'd be able to sit still with the way he was feeling right now. Maybe he just needed some exercise. That made sense; after all, he'd missed his morning run today. Yuuri nodded firmly to himself. He'd feel better soon, he was sure.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

True to his word, Wolfram was back that night. Yuuri's suspicions had been correct – Wolfram had indeed stolen Greta away and taken her to town for the day. They returned just before dark and after Greta's normal bedtime, both unapologetic and somehow filthy. No one had been able to get a clear story from either of them, but whatever had happened had managed to put some colour back into Wolfram's face and a sparkle in his eyes. Greta was her usual adorable self and no one had the heart to stay angry at either of them for long.

As they changed into night clothes, Yuuri, hoping to return to their previous habit of chatting before bed, asked Wolfram, "Are you planning on going back out again tomorrow?"

Wolfram stared at Yuuri for a moment, trying to determine if there was any implied criticism to that comment. When Yuuri just looked back curiously, Wolfram relaxed. "Of course. We're a day behind now and have to make up for lost time."

"Huh." A day behind what? "What do you actually do out there all day?"

Wolfram actually smiled, almost fondly. "It's a secret."

Yuuri grinned back. "A secret? From your king? Wolfram, are you and your men planning on usurping my throne?"

Wolfram's smile disappeared. "Don't be ridiculous, Yuuri." He looked genuinely offended. "I'd hope I've made it perfectly clear that I have no interest in your throne."

Oh, right. That had actually been an issue before. Yuuri opened his mouth to apologize, but Wolfram waved it away before he could say a single word. "I know you didn't mean it, it's fine."

It wasn't fine. When had things gotten so awkward between them? Yuuri slipped into bed beside Wolfram, noticing for the first time that Wolfram made an obvious effort to mark his side of the bed, angling his pillow so there was almost a wall between his and Yuuri's heads. Where had this distance come from? Yuuri knew he was probably fretting over nothing. Everyone had little fights that didn't really mean anything. Indeed, this could barely count as a fight, they'd made up before they'd even started.

Wolfram lay back and closed his eyes, and Yuuri was nearly overwhelmed by the desire to shake him and demand what was wrong. Even when Wolfram started snoring, the desire remained strong. Even though most days they didn't see each other or even talk, today seemed somehow different – as if, by choosing not to be with Yuuri, Wolfram had crossed a line that hadn't even existed before. As Yuuri fell asleep, though, his last thought was why did he pick Greta over me? Before he could even feel ashamed at that selfish thought, he fell asleep.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

Yuuri awoke what felt like moments later to a soothing hand stroking though his hair and soft lips pressing just under his earlobe. In a moment of disorientation, he wondered if he was finally having that kind of dream and was now on the path to becoming a man. The lips trailed down his neck and a firm weight settled against his side, even as the hand in his hair tugged gently, tilting his head up to allow better access to his neck and shoulder. This was far too detailed to be a dream, Yuuri decided, particularly the little details like the occasional scrape of teeth that made him want to groan embarrassingly. He opened his eyes and was shocked but not actually surprised to see Wolfram's pink clad body pressed against him.

"Wolfram!" He shoved at the other boy, the shock giving him enough adrenaline to throw Wolfram across the bed. Wolfram looked at him with hooded eyes.

"Oh, are we already awake?" Wolfram drawled, leaning forward. "I had no idea you'd be that sensitive."

"Wolfram – what… what are you doing?" Yuuri stammered.

Wolfram paused thoughtfully, then smirked and continued moving towards Yuuri. "I don't believe I have to answer that."

"But you… I…" Yuuri scrambled back until his lower back hit the headboard. Wolfram straddled him and wrapped his arms around his neck. Yuuri's stomach felt like it was trying to escape through his mouth. Wolfram carded his fingers through Yuuri's hair, the sensation both soothing and increasingly arousing.

"Ask me a question and I'll be certain to answer it," he offered. As Yuuri opened his mouth to try, Wolfram swooped down and kissed him deeply.

Yuuri's eyes flew open. He had long come to terms with being considered a prude – by his friends, his fiancé, even his own mother – but he held firm to the belief that every mouth should have one and only one tongue in it at a time. He pushed against the intruder with his own tongue, trying to force it out. The only reaction from Wolfram was a throaty chuckle that Yuuri could feel all the way down to his toes. It didn't feel bad, so much as weird. Also, it was getting hard to breathe. He managed a muffled complaint that sounded like a cross between a gasp and a moan. When that did nothing, he shoved at Wolfram again, but it lacked the strength of his earlier shove. Taking the rather unsubtle hint, Wolfram indulgently pulled away, with one last swipe of his tongue against Yuuri's lips. Yuuri shivered.

"Hmm… not really my type," Wolfram mused. "Pretty enough, no doubt, but I prefer a strong mind to compliment a beautiful face. Nevertheless, certainly not the worst I've ever had."

Yuuri started at Wolfram as he settled more comfortably in Yuuri's lap, watching Yuuri with a smug smile. Yuuri had no idea how to react. Wolfram had just kissed him! And then insulted him, but that was at least more normal. The important thing was that Wolfram had, in fact, stolen his first kiss! Although, from a purely technical viewpoint, it wasn't a bad first kiss exactly. In fact, if Wolfram had been a girl and Yuuri had been more… involved, it would have been really nice. And, to be precise, this wasn't quite Yuuri's first kiss. Technically, Yuuri's first kiss had been in that stupid machine when Wolfram had been…

"Ah!" Yuuri exclaimed in realization. He took Wolfram's face in his hands and tilted his face so that the light hit his eyes clearly. It was as Yuuri suspected… blue! "Shinou!"

"You figured it out?" Shinou sounded bored. "Took you long enough – I was wondering how far I'd have to go until you realized that if Wolfram was that type, he'd have tumbled you ages ago."

"That doesn't make it okay!" Now that Yuuri knew that this was merely Shinou – the Original King of Shin Makoku, nearly all-powerful and worshiped like a god – and not Wolfram, he found his voice easily enough. "You don't just do that!" Oh, right. "And also, you're possessing Wolfram again. Stop that!"

"'And also'…" Shinou quoted, rolling his eyes in a very Wolfram-like gesture. "Nice afterthought there, Yuuri. Oh, before I forget, thanks for making Wolfram rest up today – if I'd tried this before, I might have seriously harmed him. He needs to have his defences down for me to possess him easily, but too low and his soul could be seriously in danger!" He laughed.

The laughter shook Yuuri out of the last of his embarrassment. "That's not funny!" He grabbed Shinou by his, no, by Wolfram's shoulders and shook him angrily. "Get out before you hurt him!"

This actually made Shinou laugh harder. "Quit it, geez!" He patted Yuuri's arms. "The only one here hurting Wolfram is you, you know." Yuuri stopped shaking him and stared at his hands in horror. Shinou snickered at that, but then calmed down. "He's in no danger, I have more sense than that. After all, I haven't done this at all in the past few months and you've both been equally stupid then as now."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Yuuri grumped, reassured that Wolfram was safe, but still considerably less than pleased about the situation. "What time is it, anyway?"

Shinou shrugged. "Maybe three hours before dawn. And you mean to say you have no idea why my sage has been moping about since spring ended?"

"Oh, Murata?" Yuuri frowned thoughtfully. "I dunno. He's been pretty grumpy every time he visits the castle too. Maybe it's the weather change?"

"You're completely clueless aren't you? I can't believe you're Christel's descendant."

"Hey! Don't call me clueless!"

There was a moment of silence as Yuuri realized he'd reacted as if Shinou really was Wolfram. Shinou sighed and shook his (Wolfram's) head sadly. "Let me tell you a story. When I sealed Soushu into four boxes, I had my most trusted men decide what to use as their keys. Weller gave me his arm because the idiot thought it was the only thing he had to offer. As if his patience and council and cheerful nature were useless and he was just a killing machine." Shinou short Yuuri a look. "Not that you'd know anyone like that.

"Von Voltaire gave me his eye. Traditionally the symbol of wisdom. Typical of the man – an accurate assessment of his strengths and honesty in his presentation. Never mind if it might make him look arrogant. And it did. Heh, it really did.

"Von Wincott used his very blood to seal the box. I think that, even then, before I'd touched Soushu, he knew that there was a risk that I might not win. This was his way of standing as a second line of defence. And it worked – between you and Julia, you stopped Soushu. You are both worthy descendants of the Von Wincotts.

"But it was Rufus Von Bielefeld who surprised me the most. Of all the things… do you know what it means to give your heart to someone? Publicly, without even asking for anything in return? What am I asking – of course you do. Anyways, we weren't lovers or anything, but Rufus didn't even hesitate. And afterwards, there was nothing – no explanation, no apology, no request, nothing. There were rumours, naturally. There always are, some of them true, most of them false.

"In the end, I offered the only thing I had in return – the truth. I won't tell you if we ever became lovers or not, but I made my feelings clear. Rufus will always be a beloved comrade to me, and that's what matters now. And as for Rufus's descendant…

"Wolfram is someone I understand. I see a lot of myself in him, and therefore I rather dislike him in general. If there was one thing about him that I admire, it would have to be his loyalty – probably the only trait he shares with Rufus. Otherwise, he is an amusing distraction, but hardly worth anyone's time and effort. Certainly not that of Shin Makoku's Maou. To be honest, Yuuri, I quite disagree with our sage. Wolfram's not worthy of you. Let him go. Just don't tell Ken I told you to."

Yuuri fiddled with the quilt, not meeting Shinou's eyes. "I already let him go. I don't know what you want me to do."

Shinou snorted. "You call that letting go? Much longer and you'd've been begging for more. The only reason you didn't make a move was that you have no idea how."

"Th-that's totally not true!" Yuuri protested, trying not to think about how cold it had been right after Wolfram had… Wolfram's body had pulled away.

"Riiiiight…" Shinou didn't seem convinced. "And what was that earlier today? 'Wolfram, play with me, pay attention to me!' Honestly. It's funny when Wolfram does it, it's just pitiful when you do."

"That's also not…" Yuuri trailed off.

Shinou sighed. "Listen, I don't actually care what you decide, just decide something and stick to it. Your indecisiveness is driving Ken crazy, and I can only imagine what it's doing to Wolfram." He leaned forward and pecked Yuuri on the forehead. "Just figure it out, Yuuri."

Wolfram's body slumped forward to land on Yuuri's shoulder. Yuuri yelped at the sudden weight and instinctively wrapped his arms around Wolfram. Then he realized what this would look like and let go, flailing his arms a little. Wolfram started sliding down Yuuri's arm with a soft sound of distress. After a moment of hesitation, Yuuri set his jaw and steadied Wolfram, cradling his head with one arm and wrapping the other around his waist. As he laid Wolfram gently down, he noticed how light he was, and how bony. Yuuri sighed and, making sure that he was really asleep, caressed Wolfram's cheek.

"There's nothing to figure out, right?" Yuuri asked. "We've made our decisions, and you've already practically left, haven't you?" He lay down beside Wolfram, bringing up the covers over both of them. "It's not even any of his business, anyway. Damn meddling spirit…" He fell asleep immediately.