6.
Having just come out of the shower Carla was starting to feel human again. She had forgotten the last time she had gone for that long without showering. She settled in front of the mirror with her makeup case in front of her. The bed that was positioned behind her was calling her to it, tempting her to take another nap. She knew she would never wake up if she was to lay back down on it. She still had no idea how she had drifted off when she had first arrived. She had initially only sat down to rest her knackered feet after having scurried away from the factory in the early morning, at a time when the streets where still empty void for the milkman who was making his morning round. Even though nor her head nor the rest of her body were thankful for the early rise, she was thankful that to her surprise she hadn't fallen in deep slumber; especially after having spent the first part of the night downing her sorrows which had quickly led to her head slumping onto her desk. That interruption of sleep meant that she had had enough time to slip out of the factory without being seen.
As she stifled another yawn she reminded herself of the meeting she had with Sandra from Saunders in three hours time, in which time she still needed to buy an outfit. She still hadn't mastered enough courage to come face to face with Peter. If she did, she was sure she wouldn't be ready of him in time for the meeting, or in a good state of mind for it. She wished she could just call and cancel, but knowing that Sandra had travelled all the way from Sunderland just for the meeting made it impossible.
She arrived at the restaurant they had agreed on with a couple of minutes to spare. She ordered her fourth strong black coffee of the day as she went through the contract papers she had in front of her. She was grateful that she had worked on this the week before, and had not left it for the last minute, otherwise she knew she'd be winging half of the stuff that was about to be uttered in the next hour or so. Once she had gone through them, being left with nothing better to do, she switched on her phone, hoping not to be bombarded with messages she had been trying to avoid. When Sandra appeared, her phone was still flashing as one message after another flooded her phone, each one of them showing the same recipient.
As Sandra and Carla were tying the deals for Underworld's next order, Peter walked into the Rovers Return towards an idle Michelle. "Michelle, can I have a word?" he asked.
"Sure," she said as she placed down the table cloth she had been playing with, and walked towards him.
He eyed her curiously. He wasn't expecting her to be so courteous after what he'd done to Carla. "How is she doing?" he asked with a worried look on his face.
"She who?" she quizzed.
He drew his brows together. "Carla ay," he uttered.
"Oh I haven't seen her these last few days," she told him. "Why? Has something happened?"
His gaze had fallen onto the coaster which his fingers had been twiddling with.
"What's happened Peter?" she continued asking, as she became growingly concerned for her friend. "What have you done?"
He shook his head. "Just tell her how sorry I am yeah," he said before walking away, leaving her fretting over Carla.
A few minutes later, Carla headed towards her car. Her phone vibrated against her hand as she fished for her keys inside her bag. The amount of messages Peter had sent her was almost laughable. He had ceased to care about her whilst he was bedding Tina, but now that she had caught him out he wouldn't leave her in peace. She peered at her phone just in case it was someone from work. She was intrigued as she saw that for the last fifteen minutes or so, it had been Michelle who had been bombarding her with calls. As she drove to the factory, her heart pounded faster in her chest as she wondered whether word about Peter's affair had gone out. She was tempted not to go, but she knew that if she went back to the hotel room she'd only spend the day mulling over recent events. She needed the distraction, besides there was a pile of work that needed to be done.
As she turned into Rosamund Street she felt a new wave of anxiety rack her body, as all self confidence threatened to abandon her. She closed her eyes for a swift second, as she attempted to regain control of herself, and nearly ran over a stray dog. It quickly darted out of her way onto the safe pavement, where it started barking furiously at her car making Carla feel as though it was alerting everyone of her appearance.
"Oh shut up," she muttered in annoyance. It was doing her head in.
She breathed out in relief as soon as she closed the factory door behind her. The doors muffled the dog's relentless barking. Each bark had felt as though someone was knocking hard on her head sending a new wave of throbbing misery.
"Chop chop," she shouted as she walked towards her office, upon noticing that half of them were dawdling and gossiping over Sean's machine. "Er, Beth, Sean, Eva, Julie, back to work," she shouted, after her previous order had been ignored.
"Yes Mrs Barlow," Sean quickly replied, as the girls returned to their machines.
No sooner had Carla sat down in front of her desk, after finally throwing away the broken glass, she heard a slight knock, and the sound of heels approaching her from behind.
"Carla, we need to talk," a familiar voice uttered.
Carla remained as she was, focusing on the papers in front of her, pretending to be immersed in her work. "I'm busy Chelle," she finally replied, as she scribbled something down.
"Oh come on Car," Michelle retorted, "just take a short break, heaven knows you probably deserve it, with all the slaving out you do." She walked towards Carla, as she looked around her. She could sense something was up. "So how are you love?"
"Tickety boo," Carla replied quickly, before looking round to face Michelle.
Michelle nodded. "So is Peter not here?" she asked.
Carla looked away quickly, as she pretended to sort through the papers in front of her. "He's at a meeting," she lied.
Michelle looked at her closely. She could see the bags under her eyes. "Oh, so is that why he was at the Rovers asking for you then?"
Carla froze.
"Come on Carla, I've known you for the good part of twenty years. I can tell when something's up," she paused slightly, "or when you're lying. Don't close me out again. You know you can talk to me."
Carla nodded as she looked at her.
"So?" Michelle inquired.
"Oh it's nothing," Carla said as she leaned against the back of her chair, biting the corner of her bottom lip.
Michelle gave her a quizzing look.
"We just had a row," Carla uttered. "A big row actually," she continued with a scoff. "But I'll be fine. It takes more than Peter flaming Barlow to get me down." She didn't believe a word that she was saying, but she hoped that Michelle would just take the hint and let her be.
"And you're okay?" Michelle quizzed.
"Yeah," Carla quickly replied. "Tough as old boots me, ay."
"Look Car, I don't want to pressure you to talk, but I am here, okay?"
Carla nodded and gave her a hint of a small smile.
"I'll leave you to your work then," Michelle uttered as she moved towards the factory floor.
Carla barely registered her last comment. She stared ahead, her head leaning to one side. "He cheated on me Chelle," she muttered, tears welling in her eyes. "What is it about me, ay? Why is it that whenever I think I've found my rock it all comes crumbling down for me?" she said slowly, pausing between each meaningful word.
Michelle turned round to look at her. Carla had left her shocked. She knew how much Peter meant to her, so she could only imagine the pain she was experiencing.
"Come on love," she started saying.
"It's karma init?" Carla said. "I stole him from Leanne, so it's only fair for it to happen to me as well. But I honestly thought it would last far longer than this. I know I drive people off the cliff at times. I'm a controlling cow. I understand that people wouldn't want to stick around. I wouldn't want to be with me, if I had a choice, so who can actually blame him, ay?" she then laughed.
"You aren't as bad. I'm here after all, aren't I?" Michelle joked.
Carla continued, barely hearing what Michelle had said. "I shouldn't be too surprised though should I? I mean I should have learnt this pattern. The ones I really and truly fall for only want me as their piece on the side. I'm never enough for them am I? Paul, Liam, Peter. And then the ones that only want me, ha," she laughed bitterly, "they just want to control me. Why couldn't I have fallen for Tony or for Frank? Life would have been so much easier. I would have been somewhat happier. Liam would still be here. Frank wouldn't have done what he did."
"You can't think like that," Michelle interrupted her. "And Carla… Paul, Liam, and I'm sure that even Peter, they loved you."
Carla looked at her, as a tear escaped and fell down her cheek. "Loved," she stated, repeating what Michelle herself had just said.
"I didn't mean it like that Car."
Carla shook her head. "I only wanted what everyone else wants. I just wanted someone to love me; someone to share my whole life with; someone who made me feel wanted, and made me feel safe. It's not too much to ask for, is it?"
"No love."
"You know even back at school when teachers used to make us write down about our dreams, that was the one thing that always came to mind. I'd sometimes scratch it off though, and write down some materialistic item just so as not to be laughed at. It's ironic though int'it? Because that's right what I got. And yet, I'd give it all up, all my designer gear, all my money, as long as it meant I'd get that kind of unconditional love. I would. I really would."
Michelle's heart was breaking for her. "You know, I'm sure Peter loves you. You probably don't want to hear this right now, but when Peter came to me earlier, asking how you were, he told me to tell you how sorry he is."
"Sorry," Carla scoffed, "He keeps saying it. It won't take anything away though would it? It won't scrub my mind clean off that image. Or stop these whispers in my head."
"Did you walk in on him?" Michelle asked flabbergasted.
Carla looked at her, but she was currently far away from her. "Yep. Him and that cheap scabby tart that works behind your bar."
"What, Tina?" Michelle was shocked. The thought of the two of them together was deeply appalling.
"The one and only."
They stood in silence for a few short minutes.
Michelle finally cut through the silence. "Have you talked to him since then?"
Carla shook her head. "What's the use? I already know what he's going to say," she paused before turning her head to look Michelle in the eyes. "I need to though, don't I? If only to give him a good bashing and to get my stuff."
Michelle pursed her lips and nodded. "Bring them over to mine then yeah? You can stay with us." As much as Carla didn't want to impose herself on others, and wanted her own space, she was thankful for the offer. "Where have you been staying anyway?" Michelle suddenly asked.
"Oh you've become quite a curious George haven't you?!" Carla retorted, wittily avoiding Michelle's question, a little act that didn't go unnoticed. As she spoke, she held in her sudden need to take a full deep breath. She felt as though her lungs were about to explode. As she thought about her impending visit, her lungs suddenly felt a huge heavy weight being pressed upon them which made her air hungry and gasp for her favourite glass of intoxicating volatile flammable liquid that could burn and temporarily obliterate her deepest fears.