An Update 2 DAYS IN A ROW?? Aw yeah! Just for you, because each and every one of you is special to me. xo Frozenfireheart
When we got in my car, all I could do was day dream…well, "night" dream… about the mystery man. I was totally zoned out until I finally realized Sadie was talking to me.
"- and I couldn't believe how many stars there were there tonight! I think I saw Brad Pitt! Which reminds me, one of the guys who I gave my number to, his name was Chad Witt! It's a cool name, but he isn't as witty as you might think…"
I zoned out again when I realized Sadie was in Sadie mode. That, and I was really tired. What a day. I had even more to think about. I didn't know how I was going to sleep, but somehow, when we got home, I hit the pillows and crashed.
I woke up around noon and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Somehow I managed to change into an old baggy tee-shirt before I got into bed last night. I slowly realized that I only had 7 hours before my uncontrollable curiosity would take over and lead me to someone I've tried to keep out of my thoughts for 2 years. I felt my nerves sink to the pit of my stomach as I kicked off my covers and made my way into my bathroom.
My hair was still in a ponytail, but my curls had turned to messy waves and the star clips weren't looking so cute sliding down the side of my head. But at least they were still in. So were my earrings. I went to unclip my bracelet but felt only my bare wrist. Uh oh…that's not good.
I ran back into my bedroom and flipped back the sheets on my bed. No luck. I looked all over the floor and jogged out to the car, hoping it just got caught of the gear shift or something, but couldn't find it anywhere. I gave a big sigh and lowered my head as I walked back into my apartment with my arms crossed against my chest.
Sadie was eating my cereal in the kitchen. I knew it wasn't the most expensive thing from her jewelry box, but I still felt horrible because it wasn't mine. That, and I really liked it. I was hoping I would be able to borrow it again soon.
"What's the rush?" Sadie asked nonchalantly from the kitchen.
I walked into the kitchen and sat down across from my sister with a grimace adding to my not-so-attractive look.
"I lost your bracelet. Sorry Sades, I promise I'll pay you back." I was sincere about it too.
"Eh, I was going to give it to you anyway. It seemed to fit your style better than mine." she said, spooning some frost flakes into her mouth. "I'm not worried about it."
I sighed again and slumped my chin onto my hand to prop it up.
"Go shower. You look like you've been through a war. With makeup and hairspray."
I raised my eyebrow but remembered what my reflection looked like and agreed. So I decided to make my way back to the bathroom.
After a long hot shower, I blasted my hair with the hair dryer and threw my hair up into a ponytail. Then, I slipped into some sweat pants and a white tank. It was about 2 when Sadie left and I was left alone with my thoughts. I plopped down on the couch and found the remote in the cushion. I turned on the TV with perfect timing to find myself walking into Blue Lightning with Richy and Sadie in a news commercial. All the memories of last night flooded into my head as if a dam had broken. Billie Joe, the dancing, Mystery Man…will I ever find out who he was? I doubt it, but it never hurts to hope.
I rolled off the couch when I realized there was nothing worth watching on TV. 5 hours left. I don't have a clue what I'm going to wear. All I know is, it has to be something that will make him realize what he walked out on… But it can't be dressy; I can't have him thinking I got dressed up to see him. I guess that throws last night's outfit out the window. It also can't be too kiddish. I have to look mature and accomplished, like it was never a big deal that he left. I'm not the pathetic little girl who left hundreds of pleading messages on his cell anymore. I'm the woman who moved on.
I trotted into my disaster of a room to try to find the perfect outfit to get my message across. After about an hour of finding and trying different outfits on, I finally found the right one. I slid on my black long-sleeved knit sweater with the plunging V-neck. It clung to every part of me it covered to show off my matured body. Then I squeezed into my tight faded jeans to give myself a more casual look, making sure they weren't a pair with any doodles or lyrics on them. With my black boots on, I gained about 3 inches in height. I decided to leave my hair down and curly to make myself appear more relaxed. After applying makeup, the overall look got me looking about 3-5 years older.
The phone rang as I was checking myself over in the mirror. When I picked it up, I was greeted by a familiar voice.
"Hey Jude, how you doing?" Jack asked in a sympathetic tone.
I smiled into the receiver before replying. "Hey, I'm okay. What's up?"
"I just called to see how you were handling the pressure Darius has been putting on you. The past week has been pretty stressful."
I sighed. "You can say that again. It was getting pretty bad, but I'm feeling better now. Sadie took me out to a club last night and I really got a chance to relax and have fun."
I could hear the smile in his voice as he responded. "I see. Blue Lightning, huh? I saw you going in this morning in a preview for the 6 o'clock news. Sexy outfit."
"Thanks. I had a good time." I said with a smirk, silently recalling the night's experiences again.
"I bet you did. The guys must have been going crazy to get their hands on you." He responded flirtatiously before continuing, "Listen, do you think you could stop by the studio for a little while? I just need to see some lyrics for your last song. I hate to do this considering the past week, but I promise we can make it fast." He asked pleadingly.
I rolled my eyes with another sigh. "I knew there was an ulterior motive. Okay, I guess I can. I'll be over in an hour."
I hung up the phone and went to find my notebook to try to write a song as fast as I could. I was slacking recently on the songwriting, but now that I had found some inspiration I was pretty sure I could come up with something.
When I settled into my bed and found my favorite comfortable position, I got to work. Not really focusing, but just letting anything that I was holding in come out.
Birds only fly when there is somewhere to go
Or when there's somewhere to leave.
I only know that two is more than one,
Is less than the time it took
'Till you came back to me.
Now it's my choice
Do I let you in again?
Or do I leave you
As lost as
You left me?
I don't even know
If you are back to stay with me
Or if you're only back
To say good bye for good.
At times like these
When I don't know what to do
And my life becomes unglued
And I can't find my way through
All the strife
I just climb onto the roof
Spread my wings and face the truth
If the birds have waited through
All the nights
And they haven't flown away
And I know they're here to stay
Then there is no other way
They are right.
So must I.
I don't know why
But somehow all my walls come down
When you say my name.
You put my claws to shame.
I can't even fight
You found your way into my heart
Your watching me fall
Like you never left at all.
At times like these
When I don't know what to do
And my life becomes unglued
And I can't find my way through
All the strife
I just climb onto the roof
Spread my wings and face the truth
If the birds have waited through
All the nights
And they haven't flown away
And I know they're here to stay
Then there is no other way
They are right.
Then they are right.
There's no where else to be.
There's no where else to be.
There's no where else to be.
I read over my song, wondering where it came from. It was a lot less edgy than what I had been writing recently. The light, simple melody that was playing through my head as I was writing it was acoustic and calm. Strangely, I felt relieved of some of the tension that had been pulling tight against my forehead as the song replayed through my mind. I wasn't sure if Jack would like it, but I thought it was better than nothing and carried my notebook out to my car.
It was about 4 when I got to G Major. Jack was lounging on the couch listening to his MP3 player. He seemed pretty relaxed in his ripped jeans and brown tee, arms spread out with his eyes drifting closed. I snuck up behind him and lunged at his shoulders, sending him about 10 feet into the air with a start. I laughed and he gave me his best Italian glare when he landed on his feet.
"Okay, okay, now that you've had your fun, you have a lot of lost time to make up for." Jack said, raising his hands to surrender before stuffing them in his pockets.
"I was actually going through your old songs and realized you haven't done much acoustic lately. Skin was a big hit. Maybe its time I squeezed another acoustic out of you." He continued, making his way around the couch to me with a mischievous grin on this face.
I slowly backed up as Jack advanced, knowing he was coming in for revenge. I couldn't help but smile as he lunged at me and pinned my against the wall, sending me into a laughing fit as he tickled me. His body was warm and I could see the desire in his eyes as he lowered his lips to mine. The kiss lingered for a moment, gently caressing my lips. The most we'd ever done on our dates was a kiss on the cheek good night. It was at that moment when he kissed me that I knew I could only ever see him as a brother. I guess he could sense it because when he pulled back, the desire in his eyes had turned to regret and sorrow. He lowered his forehead to mine and we sighed simultaneously.
"That wasn't exactly how I imagined it'd feel." He said a little above a whisper, pushing off against the wall.
"I'm sorry Jack… I guess the only connection I feel for you is brotherly." I admitted.
He ran his fingers through his curls. "Don't be, I didn't exactly get the fireworks I had expected either," He said before clearing his throat. "Let's just forget about it and see what you've come up with, Doll Face. No hard feelings." he added with a smile.
I nodded before saying, "I was actually thinking acoustic too…it's a little different. I hope it works."
I tossed him my notebook, and he flipped to my dog-eared page. After carefully reading the lyrics, he looked up at me and looked as if he was assessing me. After some moments of consideration, he said,
"It's simple and sweet. I like it. And I think you can pull it off. It's a different angle for you, but I think it's just what you need to get you out of the rut you're in."
I smiled and hugged him. I must have been more nervous than I realized because I had fingernail imprints on the palms of my hands.
"So, wanna play me what you had running though your head at the time?" Jack asked as we broke from the hug.
I was more than happy to. I practically skipped to studio one where I grabbed my old acoustic guitar. Jack leaned against the sound board as I closed my eyes and strummed the simple melody. Any tension that was in me seemed to float out of my mouth in the smooth song. I ended the song with some humming as the last chord faded into the air.
I opened my eyes to see Jack giving me a perplexed look.
"What, you don't like it?" I asked worriedly.
"No, it's definitely not that. It's just that I've never seen you fall in love with a song like that before. It was amazing to watch. I don't know what it is, but you seem like a totally different person." He replied simply.
I blushed. "I don't know what to say. It's still me, I guess I just like the song." I said meekly with a smile. "So you do like it?"
"It has hit written all over it." He replied flashing his perfect grin.
I had the urge to start recording it, so we started to make it come together. I felt 14 again, without a care in the world but making good music. When I didn't have to worry about what boys thought about me. A point that felt very long ago. The time flew by, and after what seemed like no time at all, Jack started packing up.
"Woah there, what's the rush? Off to go save the world?" I asked light-heartedly.
"Not exactly," he responded, "Off to save the leftover macaroni and cheese in my fridge from growing mold."
"You're leaving me for moldy mac 'n cheese?" I asked as I punched him playfully in the arm.
He rubbed his arm as if it hurt. What a baby! "Ouch, jeez Harrison, we've been here for 2 and a half hours. Don't you eat?"
I stared blank-faced at him.
"No way. It couldn't have been that long already." I told him, glancing around the room for a clock.
"6:32 Harrison." He said as he tapped his watch. "I'm heading home, and I suggest you do the same. You going to need all the sleep you can get before Monday. Fat chance Darius is going to be any nicer next week."
Swinging his messenger bag over his shoulder, he moseyed over to me. "You did great today. Seriously, 'Birds' is just what you need right now. It was humbling seeing such passion come out of you. It's undeniable. You were born to do this." Jack almost whispered before placing a kiss on my forehead and made his way out the font door.
I smiled after him. He really was like the big brother I never had. Always pushing me forward even when I wasn't sure how thin the ice was in front of me. I could always trust him to catch me if I fell. He had told me on more than one occasion to take things for what they are. No more, no less. If a song doesn't feel right staying inside you, let it out, no matter what anyone else thinks. Treat every moment as a song.
Treat every moment as a song.
Hm, he'd told me that multiple times, but I'd never really taken it to heart. I always just brushed it off as Jack trying to be whimsical. But now that I really take it to heart, he's right. There no use in bottling up a song that's meant to be sung. I can't question it anymore. I have to find my inner Jasmine and "let my heart decide!"
"Seven at the pier...Seven at the pier."
My nerves felt like they were twisting and tightening under my skin. I ran my hands through my hair and clutched my head. What the heck was I going to say?? "Hey, how's the weather been in WHERE-ON-EARTH-WERE-YOU for the past two years?" Oh yeah, that'd go over well. My hands went clammy and I started to pace. My emotions were starting to get the best of me as I realized I was going to meet the man I fell in love with, after two years without so much as a phone call to tell me what was going on, in an hour. My heart was racing. I was not prepared!
All I could do was hum the melody to "Birds" to calm my nerves. I sat down on the couch and rested my hand on my chest. I needed to get my act together and take this on like a grown woman. I checked my phone for the time. 6:44PM. Only 16 minutes until Tommy time. What was I getting all worked up about, anyways? He was a guy. One guy. Sure we had a history, but he's only human. He's an ex-boy bander. He dated my sister. He's an idiot for leaving the way he did. But we all make mistakes. And he's back. He's back. And he has something to tell me. Why else would we set up this meeting? Who knows? Maybe he had a good reason...I doubt it though. What could possibly be a good enough reason to hurt someone you care about so badly? I just don't get it. Tom Quincy carries with him a vicious emotional cyclone that pulls me in every time I get close to him.
It's almost Tommy Time guys…