Chapter 6

"I'm not perfect, you know," she said quietly. They were sitting across from each other at the table. The swelling around her eyes was down, her face only red from the healing cuts. He bet it stung like hell.

"I always knew that."

She shook her head, "No. No, you didn't. Hell, even now I bet you still admire me."

"We have something special," he agreed. "It's complicated now…"

"Complicated? You arrested me, brought me back to the Citadel, left me in the care of a fairly corrupt C-Sec officer, and now we have something special yet complicated?" She shook her head. "I know why you are doing this, and I know you think you are making the right choice. Hell, you are. You did," she admitted. "But it doesn't change what I have to do."

"Maybe if you take some time to really think it over. If the Reapers get through, you know what will happen. I know you want to finish what we started, but endangering the whole galaxy isn't the right way."

She nodded, "I know it sounds crazy." She sighed, putting the cold pack over her eyes again, "Good tactics taking me down, by the way."

"You think so? Was afraid you think it was dirty."

"Oh, it was. Sneaky, rotten, totally didn't expect you to stoop to that level. It's what I would have done if I was in your shoes," she said, her lips curling into a smile.

"Well I had to do something, you were wearing down my shields."

She took the pack away from her eyes to look at him, "After everything you think I would have actually shot you?"

"You did, and you were threatening me," he shrugged.

"Kaidan…" she looked bothered by what he had said. "You are the only person I ever loved, Kaidan. I'm not exactly emotionally stable when it comes to relationships…but I clicked with you."

"You gave me a poisonous drink on Omega."

"It only would have made you a little sick," she said in defense. "If I really wanted to kill you I would have ordered the green one. Hell, I could have shot you dead there, no one would have cared. I am sorry about that."

"Apology accepted," he said.

She laughed, "One hell of a couple, huh?"

"We were at one time."

"So what are my restrictions? Can I leave this place at all?" she asked.

"Maybe with an escort, if you behave."

"Behave? Oh, like tell you my great plan?" she asked. He nodded. "What if I told you the next piece of my plan, just a small piece. What would that get me?"

"Maybe a stroll around the Presidium," he said.

"With you?"

"Yeah, you can't get rid of me," he said.

"I'll take it," she said. "First thing, I have to escape the Citadel."

He grimaced, "That isn't making me want to go easy on you, Kate."

"Honestly, Kaidan, I could escape any time I wanted," she said. "But, this is the closest thing I've had to a break in a long time. And…you are here with me. I can stick it out for a month or two. I'm in no hurry."

He shook his head, "After all this time you still want to try to have a relationship? Just delay your escape plan until you are needed back at Cerberus?"

"Tell me this isn't going to be more than an inmate/prison guard relationship and I'll plan my escape now," she said.

"Don't do this to me," he said quietly. "Don't mess with me like this. I'd rather you have a gun at my head."

"No gun," she shrugged. "I know you've been through a lot…so have I. But…you are the only person I think about. The only person that…when it's over, if we survive, I want to come back to. Has that changed for you?"

"You are my prisoner now, Kate," he said, "It can't be like that."

She smiled sadly, "I suppose even Spectres have to have some guidelines. Well…at the very least, it was good to see you again…before…yeah."

"Shepard, there is no escape. Security is tight, you wouldn't get through C-Sec to the docks. Plus, you don't have a ship."

"Doubt me, and I will prove you wrong," she said sadly, getting up from the table. He watched her closely as she went to the terminal. It didn't have access to the extranet, the Council didn't want her to be able to contact Cerberus. She didn't even have an omni-tool, he had confiscated it.

She opened the terminal's casing, and he got up as she began to rework some of the wires. He grabbed her wrist, "Shepard…"

She grabbed his wrist, her fingers pressing into the soft flesh until he released her, and then twisting his arm behind his back and shoving him away, "Kaidan, I'm not messing around. I have a job to do."

He flexed his fingers, making sure his arm wasn't broken, "Shepard, don't mess with that terminal."

She turned her back on him, and resumed adjusting the terminal so she could get a message out to the Normandy. Easy enough, just took some time. Would go faster if she had her omni-tool.

She heard Kaidan's gun, and she turned. He was aiming for her leg, "I don't want to have to take you back to the med clinic," he said. "But I…Shepard, don't make me…"

She kicked the gun out of his hand and stepped forward, punching him in the chest. "Seriously? Pulling a gun on an unarmed woman?"

He rubbed his chest, "You aren't exactly defenseless."

"Remember that," she said, going back to the terminal.

He got behind her, wrapping his arms around her and pinning her arms to her side, "Shepard, don't…please…"

She brought her foot down on his, but his grip around her stayed firm. Next she got her leg on the chair, pushing and throwing him on his back. When they fell his grip loosened slightly, and she got her arm free enough to elbow him in the gut.

He ignored the pain, grabbing her arm and twisting it back, pinning her face down to the floor. "Seriously? You are going to fight me?" he asked, angry and astonished.

"This is your fault, Kaidan. I'm not going to punish anyone else for it," she said, bringing her foot backwards and managing to kick him with the heel of her boot in the back of the head.

He fell forward and released her, and they got to their feet at the same time. He went to grab her, and she went to punch him. He blocked her punch with one hand and grabbed her with his other. She brought herself forward, butting him in the head hard.

He groaned and stumbled back, and glared at her.

"Shit," she said, jumping behind a sofa as he reached out with a biotic attack.

"It's over, Shepard," he said. "Now I have to have your terminal removed."

She jumped over the sofa and charged at him, hitting him in his middle and throwing him against the wall. He grunted as she hit him with a series of strong punches to his kidneys.

He grabbed her wrists and turned, slamming her against the wall and pressing himself against her so she couldn't move and pinning her arms there with his hands. She was quick, but he was strong. She grimaced as her skull hit the wall, but looked at him with focused eyes. She wasn't done yet. The fight was his now, she knew it, but she wasn't giving up. He had abandoned her, hurt her, let her be hurt…

His body took over, and he forced his lips against hers before he knew what he was doing. Still holding her arms against the wall firmly. There was resistance, first. Then her lips moved against his, finding them comfortable after all this time. The kiss so hard, so needy, that their teeth clashed. Her body changed under him, from a tense defensive posture to something more relaxed and giving.

He released her arms and they wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to her. His hands moved down her back, to her hips, and she curled one leg around his waist.

He broke the kiss, taking a deep breath. He couldn't do this. She was his prisoner…he was her keeper.

His body ignored his mind and his lips went to her jaw, down to her neck. She lifted her chin, taking in quick, excited breaths as his lips and tongue caressed her clavicle.

Her finger tips digging into his back. His hands gripping her thighs and lifting her up, her legs wrapping around his waist tightly.

He carried her to the sofa, lowering her down to it with him on top of her, pulling at her clothes as she clawed at his shirt.

Come on, Alenko! Are you a soldier or an animal? What is wrong with you, man? A voice screamed in Alenko's mind, but when Kate's fingers gently touched his face, her eyes looking like they did the night before Ilos, the voice shut up.

Every time before with Shepard he had cherished, taking it slow. A sensual passion.

He was still fired up over their fight, this time was different. When she rolled them off the couch, making him fall on his back as she got on top of him, kissing his chest and neck slowly, it drove him crazy. He wrapped her up in his arms, rolling her onto her back and taking her. His hand at the small of her back, pulling her towards him as he pushed into her. She gasped his name, her body trembling around him.

He was gasping for breath as he finished, falling beside her. She moved to her side, putting her arm over his chest and her head on his shoulder. Then she tensed, sitting up, "God, I'm so stupid."

"What?" he asked, still trying to catch his breath.

"Despicable," she grumbled, shaking her head. "Using my feelings against me…damn you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I confessed…I…you are the only person I open my guard to. I say I love you, you say no…only way you could keep me here was just fucking with my heart and hormones. You have changed."

"You think that…." He sat up, grabbing her and struggling with her as she resisted. She thought he had just made love to her to keep her from attempting escape? "I love you, Kate. Look at me." Her eyes were furious as they moved to his. "If things were different…"

"They aren't," she said.

"Doesn't change how I feel about you. I was an emotional mess after Brain Camp. I learned to deal with it…but I never got over it completely. And then there was you. When you died I thought I would never have another chance at…at love. You came back and I screwed up that second chance. And…the third. And…this fourth try isn't going that well, either. But no one in the galaxy can compare to you."

She looked torn, her eyes looking around the room and coming back to him.

"It doesn't make sense, even still, that we would match up," he said softly. "I love you. I…this is wrong, but I want you. I can imagine being with you anywhere. But every time I lose you…"

"And you're going to lose me again," she muttered.

"I never thought, even after Horizon, I'd actually be fighting against you," he said in a low voice. "Kate…I know what you want to do, but there is always another way. Let me help you find it."

Her shoulders hunched over in defeat and she leaned into him, letting his arms wrap around her for comfort.