Hello thanks as always for reading and as always I do not own the characters just the plot.
Chapter 6
Clary woke up feeling a warmth radiating from behind her, she had no idea where she was at first but slowly she realized she was in her bedroom but where was the warmth on her back coming from and that is when she saw Magnus snuggled up behind her. She sighed as she allowed her eyes to focus on her surroundings, finally able to focus Clary looked at her clock and she realized it was almost midnight. Trying not to wake Magnus she slowly peeled herself up from the bed and walked to the window to see if her Dad's truck was at home. Big surprise she thought to herself because like so many other night her father had decided not to come home. She was so tired but Clary knew that she would not be able to go back to sleep so she walked back to her bed sitting down on the floor in front of it, there she turned to see herself in the vintage floor length mirror, the same mirror that had once belonged to her mother.
Clary sat staring at herself for quite some time before she finally spoke, "I am disgusting, no one will ever want me, no one will ever love me. Worthless, common trash, no one would care if I died. I am…."
"Clary I would notice" Clary shot up from the floor shocked that she had been so clumsy to allow herself to do that with Magnus in the room.
Magnus was looking at Clary with such an overwhelming sadness, he knew that she had not told him everything about her past but he never would have thought that she would think her life held such little value. He was sitting up on her bed now as she stood stiffly in front of him, she looked angry with him almost. Magnus slowly lifted his hand and touched Clary's arm ever so gently, "Biscuit I want you to know that I would care if you died and I want you to know that I care that you are hurting"
Clary was analyzing every move Magnus made, she watched his eyes scanning over her face and she noticed how gently he touched her. She wanted to believe he cared for her, that he wanted to love her but she wasn't sure. As if sensing her anxiety Magnus stood up and shuffled to where Clary was standing, he hovered over her because of how small she was, Magnus then reached down and took both of her hands in his raising them to his chest. He knew Clary was shaking and that at any moment she could lose it but he had to make her see that she could trust him. With their hands clasped together tightly, Magnus slowly placed Clay's hands on his chest so that she could feel his heart beating. "Do you feel that Clary, do you feel my heart beating" Magnus was staring intently at Clary while he whispered to her.
Clary knew her body was reacting to the human contact she was having with Magnus and she was not sure if she could handle it. Her breathing was starting to pick up but then she realized what he had asked her. Lifting her eyes she was met with his staring intently down at her. "Why would you want me to know if your heart was beating Mags?"
Magnus smiled lovingly at her "I need you to know Biscuit I need you to see that my heart is not given lightly that I too have walls that hide my shame, my hurt…but Clary for you I will let them down. I am here for you and I am giving myself to you and I am asking in return that you allow yourself to let some of your walls down for me."
To someone watching outside it might seem like the two were having a lover's moment but no it was something so much deeper than that, Magnus was offering Clary a life preserver and he was anxiously awaiting to see if she would accept it or would she continue to drown.
Clary could feel her heart racing as she stood there locked in a heated gaze with Magnus. She was trying to understand why he wanted to help her there had to be a reason because no one would love her by choice. Simon only loved her because he felt sorry for her; Clary knew that she and Simon were growing apart back in the ninth grade; he had been hanging out with more of the gamers and computer geeks until one night she woke up and saw that Simon was at her house speaking to her Dad. She knew she should not have been eavesdropping but she could not help it and what she heard was mind blowing; Clary's dad was pretty much begging Simon not to leave her side because of everything she went through and he told Simon….he told him all of it. After that Simon was a constant at her side; even when she yelled and slapped him just because he asked her to talk to him about everything her dad had told him. She refused to speak about any of it even with Simon he only knew because her father had betrayed her but even though Clary had hurt him by her actions, Simon never pushed her to talk about it again he just stayed with her just like a loyal lap dog.
Clary was brought back to the here and know when Magnus gently squeezed her hands, he must have realized she had clocked out at the moment at least her mind did. She focused once again on where Magnus had put her hands; she could feel that under his silky black shirt that he was fit but she did not care about that all she could focus on was his heart beating in rhythm under her tiny fingers. Lifting her eyes she stared at Magnus and she realized that she felt something bubbling within her and she could not tell what it was at first. Her heart was not racing nor was she nervous, she was at ease with him she finally realized. Clary felt safe with Magnus and that was new for her because she had not felt that before not even with her mother really. Tears began to flow freely down her face and before she even knew what she was doing she had hopped up into Magnus's arms and wrapped her tiny legs around his waist. If he was shocked he did not show it because his arms held Clary just as tightly as she held onto him, for the first time in her life Clary was not crying because she was hurting or sad; she was crying because she felt true joy.
Magnus had held Clary for hours and then when she finally fell back asleep he laid her down in her bed and stood keeping watch over her. He watched as her chest rose and fell, he could hear her breathing and he smiled realizing that she was not in stress for the first time that day she was truly resting. When he finally decided that she was good and asleep he walked into her bathroom across the hall to freshen up and that was when he saw that her bathroom did not have a mirror hanging on the wall. He examined the empty wall and noticed that a mirror had been there before obviously and that when the mirror was removed there had been damaged caused to the wall behind it. Taking in a deep breath Magnus sat on the side of the tub and put his head in his hands, he allowed himself to finally feel what took place with Clary that day. He had known that she was troubled but he did not realize it was to this extent and he only hoped that he could be strong enough to help her because one wrong move on his part whether it was intentional or not could send her on a downward spiral.