A/N - Okay, here it is, people. This might be the fastest update I have done EVER, so I am patting myself on the back for that. But...I also think this is the crappiest chapter I have ever written, so...I take the pat back. The reason why I think this chapter pretty much sucks is because I had put this story under the "romance/humor" category, but there isnt much of that in this one. It is more...emotional and stuff. But I wrote it anyways because people cant be laughing and making googly eyes at their crushes all the time. Hurt and pain and all that is a part of the whole 'romance and humor' package, I think. But still...this chapter isnt the greatest.

deslil - I am so sorry for my short chapters...you have had that complain, and I apologise, but I dont think I have it in me to write really huge chapters! But...you have a point, so I will try to atleast update regularly...even if the chapters arent all that big. Also, thank you for sticking with this story.. You are awesome! ;-)

acaudill0068 - I love that you took time to review my chapter. I love your fics, especially 'Alone', and you give the best constructive criticism. Thanks!

Sayuria - It was absolutely clear. And thank you for reading..seriously!

AiLing - YES! One more Alex/April shipper. Thanks heavens.

Thank you to ALL the other readers for reading this and reviewing! You guys rock!

A/N - Sorry for the really long author's note..I had to get it all out there. :-)

Disclaimer - I am not Shonda Rhimes pretending to be a random person writing this fic. Thus, Grey's Anatomy does not belong to me.

Lexie was a little worried. Ever since April had stormed out of the cafeteria during their conversation, she had been unable to find her anywhere. And heavens knew, she had searched EVERYWHERE. Exhausted from her grueling surgeries, demands of a relationship, and her worry for April, Lexie had decided she deserved a break. So, after finishing the post-ops, she went to the on-call room determinedly.

Heaving a huge sigh, she opened the door of the on-call room, only to find April perched on the bed, looking absolutely lost — even more so than usual. Lexie was torn between annoyance and concern. Sighing again, she approached where April was sitting. April didn't look up as Lexie sat. She just kept staring at a particular spot on the wall.

"I…I had a boyfriend. In high school. His name was Robert. But they called him Toofer," April started, suddenly, without looking at Lexie.

Lexie thought maybe she should say something, wondering where this conversation was headed, but she bit her tongue, trying to hear her friend out patiently.

"He…he was a very nice boy. He always smiled, you know. And when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was so surprised, not to mention elated…I mean, he wasn't exactly 'Mr. Popular', you know, in fact, I don't think girls at our school cared for him. He was just so ordinary looking. But I didn't care. Firstly, because looks aren't important — at least that is what I believed, and secondly, it wasn't like boys were lining up to serenade me either."

Lexie felt like they were walking on dangerous grounds — 'high school romances' was not a good thing to talk about. Despite knowing that, Lexie decided she needed to listen to April - if that was what April wanted.

"But of course," April said, bitterly, "what did I know? I mean, I was just the freak who hadn't ever kissed a boy. I was the freak who did excellent in studies, but who had no friends, because of her nervous stature. You know what happened? How that relationship ended?", April asked suddenly, looking at Lexie for the first time during her monologue.

"I - not, er..not well, I presume?", Lexie asked, thrown off guard.

April laughed, humorlessly. " 'Not well' doesn't even begin to cover it. I…went over to his house to surprise him on Valentine's Day, and I noticed he had invited his friends over. I heard them talk. I heard-," April stopped for a moment before continuing, "I heard his friends cheering for him..because he had told them that he was going to be the first boy to "bed" me. He also said that…th…I was the most annoying person he had ever met, but the only reason he was with me was because he needed to know how it would be to sleep with me."

"Oh, April," Lexie said, feeling bad for her friend, and hating the guy who did that.

"I ran out..and he saw me. You know what was the worst part? I was still expecting him to come after me, to try and give some explanation…I was hoping for it, as a matter of fact. Stupid me…I was thinking he would make some grand romantic gesture which would make me forgive him…and we would live happily ever after" April said, spitting out the last three words.

Lexie looked at April…waiting for her to continue.

After a minute or two, April resumed the story, and said, "He didn't come. Forget about forgiving him, I didn't even get to dump him. Next day at school, he walked around on the corridors like everything was hunky-dory…like it didn't matter — like I didn't matter."

"That was when I realized what a pathetic girl I was. He was the jerk, and yet, I was the one feeling bad about myself. I also realized how naive I was…how stupid. I have been super guarded ever since. Of course, it helps that boys don't usually ask me out — because they find me annoying, but still…all those things in high school…they made me insecure about myself…and also super efficient, I'd like to believe. I know I am insecure. I know it. And lately, I have come to terms with that. With my insecurity. And then…then I went ahead and developed feelings for Alex. The guy who treated me like crap when I was there for him. And even after his crap treatment towards me, I continued to have feelings for him. What kind of an self-hating idiot am I? But you know, Alex is the one guy I really like, like, not Dr Shepherd like, but really, really like. And today, I saw him kissing the OB. Dr. Fields. The hot, efficient OB. And I realized what an idiot I have been, thinking that somehow, magically, Alex would not have feelings for anyone, and one day, he would realize I am the one who should be with him", April finished, blowing out air, and looking down, like she believed she was a lost cause.

"April…I am so, so sorry…but just because he kissed the OB doesn't mean he has feelings for her! He might just be…you know..", Lexie said, hoping April gets the hint.

And just in a moment, from looking downcast and rejected, April sat up straight and squared her shoulders. Lexie was quite alarmed at the sudden change in her demeanor.

"It doesn't matter. Its done. Over. I..I was stupid to feel for him. You were right, he isn't right for me anyways. And all this hurt and pain, I don't want to deal with it. I…I am going to focus on what is important - surgery. The lesser I get distracted by him, or anyone else, the better. I am just…going to be the best surgeon I can be. And I am not going to give a rat's ass about who Alex sleeps with, marries, or have children with. I am done."

"April! Don't say that! I know that you have real feelings for him! This has the potential to be something amazing for both of you!", Lexie said, trying to convince her.

"This has potential to be NOTHING! Lexie, I know you are trying to help me, but I know this isn't going to work. At all. And I am not complaining - not anymore. I - I have a lot of other things going for me…I - the chief resident position, for example. I - I just need to focus there. I am done wasting my time dreaming and being foolish over something that we both know wont ever exist," April said, with a tone of finality.

Lexie wanted to ask her to think it over, but she knew that she needed to let April figure this out on her own. She nodded slowly, and said, "Okay, April. This is a decision you have to take on your own. If you have set your mind, I guess its the right thing to do."

April smiled a little at Lexie's words. Then, without a warning, she hugged her.

"Lexie…thank you. For everything. You have been great…you really have," April said, with sincerity.

"Oh…its…its okay, April. I know we didn't start off right, and I wasn't your biggest fan or anything, but…you're not all that bad…I think I don't hate you anymore…so…", Lexie said, not knowing what to do.

April patted her arms, and got up to leave. "What you said, about not hating me - that's…that's good enough for me," April said, before leaving the left the on - call room, closing the door softly behind her.

Lexie smiled softly at April's words, shook her head, and finally went to take her much needed nap.

Hmm...I kind of wanted to make it really clear that Lexie is awesome. And I dig the dynamic between her and April. So, this chapter was dedicated to them.

Eh..I had thought I would put atleast a little bit of Alex/April interaction in this chapter, but I couldnt. Next chapter, tons of them..I promise! And it will focus heavily on Alex..I promise that too..!

In the meantime, please R&R!