Delirium: Whoever this is, did you change your name in my contacts?
Phoenix: No. Why? Did someone change it?
Delirium: Apparently.
Phoenix: What did they change it to?
Delirium: Darth Vader.
Phoenix: Don't change it back!
Delirium: But who the hell are you?!
Phoenix: I am your father.
LWTF
Thorn: Lantern just had an allergic reaction to garlic, I had to inject her with an Epic Penis.
Zilla: WTF dude? That's so wrong!
Thorn: My phone is a fucking pervert.
Thorn: I wrote 'Epi Pen' and then autocorrect swooped down on the battlefield of my phone, leaving mass mayhem and destruction in its wake.
Zilla: There were no survivors.
LWTF
Wish: Hot guy on your right.
Dream: ~Saw him, faked a sneeze so he'd say bless you to me, a playa got movesss like Jagger~
Wish: DAMN you're good.
Wish: I'm gonna go trip so he'll ask me if I'm okay and help me up.
Dream: You tripped amazingly sister! But OMG he sees us texting each other...he's on to us! ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! :O
LWTF
Daemon: Holo, I'm sorry
Daemon: Please talk to me buddy.
Daemon: Mate?
Daemon: Amigo?
Daemon: World's awesomest bestie?
Daemon: Beautiful land mermaid too amazing for this world; too fantabulous?
Holo: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking skittles, Daemon.
LWTF
Night: Eeeyyy, Cookiee?
Kookie: Are you drunk, Night?
Night: Not importinant.
Night: I've bean meaning to ask u a question.
Kookie: Shoot
Night: Du you think Lord Voldemort was actually a lord in any cents of the word? Or was he just a fruitloop?
Kookie: I have been waiting for you to ask me this for a long time now, Padawan. I do not believe he is truly a lord. I have reason to suspect that he merely put 'Lord' in front of his name and people just went with it.
Night: R u tyring to sound sofistiskated?
Kookie: Maybe :P
Night: Then maybe I ort to do likewise. Wut do you think of Lord Night?
Kookie: It is marvellous, my lord.
LWTF
3P: When are you gonna get here Lantern?
Lantern: I'll be there soon, I just left.
3P: Where? Zilla's house? XP
Lantern: OMFG! BAD 3P, BAD! NO!
3P: What? Don't you ship Lanzilla?
Lantern: You know PERFECTLY WELL how I feel about being shipped with Zilla! He's my FREAKING FRIEND!
3P: Are you SURE you're just friends? You spend an awful lot of time with him, and you KNOW what happens in his and Litwick's fanfics ;)
Lantern: That's it. I'm officially disowning you.
LWTF
Wish: :(
Ace: Turn that frown upside down!
Wish: ):
Ace: You little shit
LWTF
Kura: SOMEBODY IS PLAYING A PIANO IN THE HOTEL I'M STAYING AT AND IT'S MIDNIGHT WHY?!
Kura: Update: I JUST FIGURED OUT THEY'RE PLAYING "MY HEART WILL GO ON"!
Kura: Update: I JUST OPENED MY ROOM DOOR AND YELLED "JACK!" THE MUSIC STOPPED AND I CAN HEAR SOMEBODY RUNNING DOWN THE HALL ABOVE ME SHOUTING "ROSE!" OMG
Kura: CAN I SHIP IT?
Sakura: No, it'll sink.
Kura: You!
Sakura: Your fault for waking me up by shouting.
LWTF
5: Litwick, you know the Harry Potter movies?
Litwick: Of course I know the Harry Potter movies. Idiot.
5: Ignoring that insult; is it just me or is Malfoy's grunt Crabbe black now?
Litwick: He seems to be black, 5, yes.
5: He didn't used to be black.
Litwick: I'm trying to read, 5. Leave me alone.
5: I'm gonna ask Mage about this. I'm not trying to be racist, but he definitely used to be white before Deathly Hallows.
LWTF
Phoenix: Have you ever seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?
Lantern: No?
Phoenix: HAHAHAHA!
Lantern: ...shit
Lantern: I see what you did there.
LWTF
Kookie: ARGH! I can't believe it! Night just dumped a war speech on me!
Holo: Wait, what?
Kookie: You know how that commemorative ceremony of the war is coming up this weekend?
Holo: Yeah?
Kookie: Well yesterday Night just came up to me and was all like "hey Kookie btw you're saying the remembrance speech thingy this weekend hope you're prepared and have the speech ready even though I know you don't lol"
Holo: She said that?
Kookie: Well not that exactly but you get the idea! She just dumped this speech on me and I'm totally not prepared, not to mention how important it is! I barely even know anything about it! DX
Kookie: Quick! Give me any sort of line I can use that applies to wars in general!
Holo: Uh...um..."The young men thrust forward with passion."
Holo: That...didn't come out quite right...
Kookie: Roflmfao!
Holo: I am a terrible person. I'm going to hell forever now.
LWTF
Daemon: The world is fucked I swear
Delirium: What happened?
Daemon: You have to explain something because I'm baffled and upset.
Delirium: Okay...?
Daemon: Like really upset.
Delirium: What is it? Hurry up and tell me.
Daemon: Why the FUCK is there a "D" in fridge but not in refrigerator?
LWTF
Zilla: Stop sending me pictures of Sonic the Hedgehog.
Mage: DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY LIFE!
LWTF
Thorn: Should I get pizza?
Thorn: Hey Mal my arm just got chopped off by a psycho killer.
Mal: Okay don't worry I will save you!
Thorn: I already bled to death.
Thorn: That's what happens when you take half an hour to reply to texts.
Thorn: People die.
Mal: Then how are you texting me?
Thorn: From beyond the grave: I'm a ghost now.
Mal: Oh, okay. Awesomesauce.
LWTF
Dream: I'm on the worst date ever! I've been hiding in the bathroom for about fifteen minutes now. I don't care what anyone thinks, I will live in this bathroom forever if I have to!
Ace: Go back out. I'll call you in five minutes and pretend I blew up your dragon or something so you have an excuse to leave.
Dream: I owe you my life now.
LWTF
Holo: Hey you're hot wanna go out? *finger guns*
3P: I have a boyfriend. You KNOW that.
Holo: I have a math test tomorrow.
3P: What does that have to do with anything?
Holo: ...I thought we were both listing things we could cheat on.
3P: ...Board games.
Holo: That's the spirit!
3P: And sorry, but I'm happy with Delirium.
Holo: Cool beans.
LWTF
Litwick: If it were up to me I would keep you locked up in my basement with crayons, colouring books and Crackers 'n Cheese Dip snacks :P
Zilla: Oh man that sounds like the life. Colouring is the best and I love it :D
Zilla: But none of that rose art crap. I want the fancy schmancy crayola.
Litwick: Crayola fo' life, dude!
LWTF
Night: Okay, I know not all the members of GMAD know about Undertale, but those that have, make sure to be on your phones at lunch.
Litwick: So what's up? Why were you asking if we knew about Undertale?
Night: I want us all to compile a list of the lessons we learnt from each character. I think it'll be a good learning experience. I'll go first.
Night: Toriel: Always be kind to everyone you meet.
Kookie: Sans: Being funny doesn't make you weak.
Zilla: Papyrus: You're as great as you believe you are.
Litwick: Undyne: Always fight for those you care for.
Lantern: Alphys: Sometimes you'll be scared to do things, and that's okay.
3P: Mettaton: You're stunning, no matter who you are.
Phoenix: Flowey: Flowers are dicks.
REVIEWS
Delirium68: It's just a story meant to make people laugh. Trust me, the accuracy is not the best.
midnightsky0612: Thanks! ^_^
LanternLover23: I found that one pretty funny as well. And honestly, I'm not surprised by your story. At all. :P
GodzillaMan1000: Liked that one, huh? I had a fun time writing it. Eh, this isn't meant to be the most accurate story ever, so it's fine. And thanks!
DarkWhisperKG: Aw, thanks! :D *blows out candles and slices the cake, handing a piece to everyone that's a part of this story* Hehe, nice continuation of that Text. I like it!
theawesomest5: I do pretty much all of my fanfic stuff on my iPad as well. That or my iPhone. I know your pain! Really? Eight exes? Well, what a surprise! *dodges brick you threw at my head* Kidding, kidding! I believe you! Yeah, that was one of the inferred funny parts of the alien Text. I'm glad you caught it.
Scout017: You're welcome! :) I'm glad you find it so funny! Btw I'll make sure to attend your funeral.
Spirit of Fury: I can imagine. Oh, wow, you're in trouble!~ Thanks, I'm glad I have managed to make your laugh so much it hurts. That's the sign of true laughter in my book. The GMAD is a group run by Toni42, previously NightFury999 that stands for Guardian Magic Archer Dragons and is mainly centred around the Big Four fandoms (RotG, HtTYD, Tangled and Brave). If you want to join just PM Toni/Night and fill out the form.
I Wasn't Invited: I think I know the reason. Here it is, as promised; a subtle hint.