I can't breath!

I can't breath!

Help me!

Something is grabbing my neck

I can't breath!

Help!

Please!

"Steven!" I yell frantically. I snap my eyes open and I sit straight up with a I gasp. I instinctively grab my neck and breath heavily. My vision is blurred and I blink a couple times and it gets cleared. I look around at my surroundings and I recognize it. I'm at Sodas house. Memories from last night pop in my head and I remember what I was doing her. The blankets are a tangled mess and they feel dank. I run my clammy hand through my damp hair and try to calm myself down. I'm soaking with sweat yet I felt like I was in the Arctic.

I pull my knees to my chest and start rocking back and forth. My breathing becomes heavier and desperate as I gulp down more air. My hands start shaking and and I start sweating more. If I don't calm down soon I'm going to have a horrible panic attack. I want Steven here to help me like he always does every morning. I just want my big brother to hold me and tell me everything is okay. My eyes start to water and I let out a shaky breath.

I try to do what Steven tells me to do whenever I wake up from another nightmare.

Breath in

Breath out

Breath in

Breath out

Five minutes later I finally calm myself down and my breathing returns to normal. I look around the room and take in my surroundings. The curtains are still down but the sun is shining through. There's a bed next to mine and I'm pretty sure it's Ponyboy's. It's neatly made and I decide to get up and fix the bed I slept on. Both beds have the same brown headboard but different blankets. There's a small desk under the window with some books and notebooks. By the desk is a bookshelf filled with books. I smirk and think Ponyboy.

When I finish making the bed I grab my clothes and sneak of to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and cringe at my appearance. Let me put it in simple terms. I look like shit. My damp brown hair is a mess with tangles and knots everywhere. There are dark bags under my green eyes. My skin looks super pale and sickly under the bathrooms fluorescent light. I turn on the sink put my hands under it and splash my face with it hopping it'll do something about my skin. I try my best to comb my unruly tangles with my fingers but it's almost hopeless.

I sigh in defeat and just put it up in a loose ponytail with a hair tie I had around my wrist. I change into my clothes from yesterday and walk out the bathroom. When I get to the bottom of the stairs I see a everyone sitting around the living room. This time there's two new people sitting on the couch. one is super tall and already has a beer in his hand. His shaggy blonde hair reaches his neck and covers a bit of his piercing blue eyes. The kid next to him looks like a lost small puppy. His brown hair is greased back but some falls to the side of his face. His brown eyes look sad and lost but his expression is emotionless. There where some nasty bruises and cuts on his face and felt sorry for him even though I don't really know him. I think their names are Dally and Johnny. Ya that's right!.

I heard a lot about Dallas Winston. How could you not! The kid was a walking crime magnet. And his appearance didn't really help. When I was a kid my momma would tell me not to "judge a book by its cover". I've tried to live by that rule ever since she left us. It's pretty hard especially when you hear a lot of shit about people. So I decided to push away all the gossip I heard about Dally and decide to judge him when and if I talk to him.

The T.V is turned on to Mickey Mouse laughing and talking with his friends. I snicker to the the thought of grown men watching a kids show when Everyone snapped their attention to me. I started blushing and waved awkwardly. Soda immediately smiled and went by my side

"G'mornin' Joey, how'd ya sleep" he asks me. He starts pulling my hand and motions for me to sit on the couch. "Fine thank you" I lied. All I had where nightmares that night. He sits next to me. "That's good" he tells me. He then turn his direction to Dally and Johnny. "You guys meet?" He asks. "Ya I know em. I'm not new Soda, I do hang out with you guys sometimes with Steven" I smirk at him. He laughs and smacks his head playfully "pffffft right! My bad" he says with a funny face. I couldn't help but laugh and two-bit looks at me from the floor with a toothy grin. "There's that laugh I know and love" he says.

I glance over to see Dally and he's givin me this hard look. Like he's studying me or somethin'. I give him an awkward smile but quickly look away feeling uncomfortable. A bit later Darry pops his head from the kitchen and tells everyone there's breakfast if they want. A moment after my stomach growls telling me how hungry I was and Darry chuckles. "Perfect timing" Two-bit laughs. I give him an annoyed look and playfully punch him in the arm. He just laughs more and pretends to be hurt.

Of course being the boys that they are they all go and start grabbing food. There was pancakes, bacon, and eggs. The smell was drool worthy. I grab a plate and fill it with food. I tell Darry thanks and make my way to the living room where everyone else was. I observe them before I make my way back to my spot on the old brown couch. Two-bit, steve, Soda, and Dally where watching the television some where on the floor couch or standing up leaning against the wall. Pony was gonna shove a fork full of eggs in his mouth but stopped mid way at something he was reading from his book. Johnny looked like he was watching the t.v but his eyes said he was somewhere else. Dally ruffled his hair and stole a pancake and it looked like Johnny didn't mind out punched him lightly in the side. Steve then said something to Soda and he started cracking up. They looked like a family. Weird and different. But still a Family

I sat in "my spot" next to Soda and happily munched away on my fluffy yellow eggs and soft thick pancakes while watching Mickie and his friends go to the beach

After breakfast, Soda and I piled into his truck and drove to the DX. Steve went in a separate car a while later after us. When we pulled into the gas station I looked for my brothers white rusty truck but couldn't find it. "That's strange" Soda said beside me. "Steven must not me here yet. The shops not even open" he said. Steven always got to the DX first and opened the shop. But this time, Soda did. "I'm sure he'll be here soon. He probably woke up late today on accident" I smile reassuringly at Soda.

We both hop out the truck and walk to the convenience store. Soda walks in and opens it up and I sit on a bench outside. I start swinging my feet and fiddle with a loose thread on my shirt. I hear a car pull up and look up with a small smile. But it falls when I see it's just Steve. He parks his car and walks over to open the garage. He nods to me as a hi and walks in. I sigh and look back down to the loose thread. The sun was already up and it started getting a little hot. I felt the bottom of my skirt start to get moist from sweat. I decided to kill time and took out a book from my bag.

I finished the book an hour later and still no Steven. I truly started to get worried and tapped my fingers on the bench. Soda walks out from the store to fill up a cars gasoline. But when he looked in my direction he stopped and his eyes fill with concern and surprise. "Stevens not here?" He asks. I shake my head and look down at my swinging feet. Stevens not here. "I'm sure he just got held up or something". He goes and fills up the car waiting for him. He walks back to sit with me on the bench and there's an awkward silence. What am I supposed to say. "Oh ya he's not here cuz he got the shit beat out of him last night and it's my fault".

"You alright Joey?" He asks breaking the silence Concern filling his voice. "You look kinda sad" he continued. I just shrug not wanting to talk and continue looking down. "Y'know you can talk to me about anything, and I won't tell nobody" he says touching my shoulder. I flinch and internally wince when he jerks his hand away. I look up and his eyes look a little hurt. I can't help myself. I don't like it when people touch me. I have my reasons. " look I gotta go back in... I'll see ya later alright Joey" he says a little cold and walks away.

Another hour passes by and still no Steven. Sodapop comes in and out of the store but doesn't so much as wave to me. Suddenly a car squeals in and parks itself . A door slams and I hear a girl crying. I look up and see Linda running up to me with giant tears In her eyes. I start feeling sick to my stomach and I wonder what horrible thing happened for her to break out in tears.

"Oh my god Joey I've been looking everywhere for you!" Her tear streaked face is red and her blonde curls are a mess. "Why! what happened?" I ask and I feel my face start to burn up. A million things run through my mind but I ignore them and try understand Linda. But she's just s blubbering mess. She starts sobbing and I hug her and try to calm her down. "You have to calm down Linda you're starting to get me really worried!" I tell her. She pulls away and looks up at me with big blue eyes. "Oh God Joe! Oh God, oh god, oh god!" She wails "I'm so sorry Joe! I'm so so sorry!" She starts crying again but I don't let her. I get up and give her an angry glare. "What happened Linda!" I yell impatiently. "He's dead Joe! He's dead!" She yells. My throat suddenly gets dry and my head starts feeling dizzy. "Who's dead Linda" I ask quietly, my voice just above a whisper. I can barely hear my own voice it's so quiet.

She looks up to me with a heart breaking look and her eyes are big with sorrow and tears.

"Steven dead Joe, Stevens dead."