Slowly the world returned to focus.
First smells. Books, leather, dried blood, alcohol, sulfur.
Hearing. You could hear Dean screaming bloody murder at someone. Someone close to you.
Touch. Dean wasn't holding you anymore. He sounded too far away. No this person felt warm and like home. You curled up further into the person's grip.
Taste. God never again were you drinking shitty wine coolers. Better stick to the good stuff your mind decided.
Sight. Slowly your eyes opened revealing the scene before you. Dean and Sam stood side by side, demon killing arsonal on their person and aimed towards you. Your eyes grew in fear till you realized it was the person holding you they were aiming at. Cas was looking at you with pity again but also something else. Satisfaction. Within seconds you knew that whatever was happening Cas made it happen.
If they were standing in front of you who was clutching you on the floor? You turned your head already knowing the answer. Crowley glared at the Winchesters practically hissing at them as he clutched you closer to himself. He held you bridal style but still on the floor like he was afraid to move her too much.
Only Cas seemed to realize you were awake again. You had to wonder how long you were out. You also had to wonder whether or not this was just a dream your sick brain supplied. You knew a non painful way to prove that.
You grabbed Crowley's face much to his surprise. His heated gaze turned to you softening a fraction. You stared into his brown pools before closing your eyes and kissing him. Once again you seemed to shock him before he responded, his mouth moving against yours. You felt his tongue dart out to taste your lips and opened your mouth in answer. Your tongue mingled with his as he continued his exploration of your mouth. Your hands moved to behind his head before gripping each other to keep your demon close. His hands in return just gripped you harder, no longer afraid you were going to shatter in his arms.
When you couldn't breathe any longer you two broke apart, only your pants sounding in the strangely quiet library. You rested your head against his forehead as he closed his eyes, a small smile breaking out across his face.
"What the fucking hell?!"
You almost jumped out of Crowley's arms but they held you like a vice.
"Well at least you have the decency to look embarrassed!" Dean yelled in reference to your quickly reddening face. He threw his hands in the air, the demon knife whisking through the air with them. "Am I the only one who sees how fucked up this is?!" Cas looked away from you and Crowley, his gaze trailed to Sam who had a goofy look on his face. It was a mix between disgust and happiness. An interesting combination.
"I...I.." You began but quickly faltered. How did one explain something even they didn't understand. You weren't even sure what happened after you very clearly passed out from… grief?
Dean actually tapped his foot in impatience for an explanation. Crowley thankfully took the growing rage off of you.
" I believe I have an answer here." He cut in, the Winchester's faces snapping up to him. " Your lovely hunter here has changed something in me that you two idiots started. You made me feel. You morons made me human. With being human, well you've heard of soulmates…" He paused for dramatic effect hoping it would sink in. The boys faces were just as blank with confusion as before though Cas' face grew red like yours.
" You two are lucky you have your looks," You heard the demon mutter under his breath before returning to full volume. " [Y/N] here is my soulmate. I am her's. She is mine." He punctuated mine with a squeeze of her arm and practically growling the word out. Your face probably mirrored the Winchester's. There was no way. Absolutely no way. Crowley could not be your soulmate. He was a demon. DEMON. no soul. no soulmate.
But… he did tell you the boys gave him a taste of a soul. A sorta soul… that means you were his… sorta soulmate?
You raised a hand, gently pushing yourself off of him. He let you push him away, carefully releasing you while still glaring at the Winchesters just daring them to try to take you away again.
You stood gingerly, your legs sore from giving out from underneath you. You turned to your friends for the last 8 months. " What happened?" You whispered towards them. Your eyes pleading for some damn explanation. Finally Sam spoke up , not before sending a look Dean's way.
" Uh well me and Cas found you laughing on the floor. Well not really laughing more hysterically crying and laughing. You just wouldn't stop and then you just started sobbing. I didn't know what to do but Dean held you trying to get you to stop.." Sam sent a smile at Dean but Dean's face remained hardened. His younger brothers smile faltered before returning his look to you. " Uh then I don't know you passed out or something. Cas tried to check on you but Crowley suddenly was here." Crowley smiled at being acknowledged.
"So we tried to kill the son of a bitch" Dean cut in with a gruff. Your head turned to face him and he silenced himself. You could tell that whatever look you were sending him could kill.
" So we tried to kill him…" Sam reiterated. " We thought he came back to hurt you. But uh we can see that's not an issue." He gave you a small smile which you returned. You turned to face Cas the only one who hadn't spoken during the entire exchange as far as you were aware.
The angel turned his face away from you. " What did you do?" You asked knowing he was hiding something from you.
Cas sighed before actually looking at you. His eyes were shining like he wanted to cry or kill something. " I… helped him get to you."
" You knew…"
Cas remained silent proving you right.
You turned to Crowley who was now standing up behind you. He smirked at you but it died when he saw your face.
"How long?"
"hmm?"
"How long had you known?" You questioned a little louder. He seemed to get what you were trying to say.
"Since I kissed you."
The sound of skin hitting skin made everyone flinch. Crowley held his cheek in shock, the area getting a little red.
" You son of a bitch! The entire time! 7 whole fucking months! And you knew?!" Your hands curled into fists as you fought the urge to punch him in the face. " You just let me fester till I felt like I needed you?!"
"Dar-"
"DON'T YOU DARE… don't you dare call me darling or or love or whatever fucking stupid ass name you'll call me to try to pacify me!" You could feel someone's hand on your shoulder but you shrugged them off. You were finally able to open up and you weren't going to back down now. You waited for his response, hopefully without the nicknames.
"I…[y/n]... I didn't want to leave you alone. You told me to. I thought maybe I was imagining it, coming off a human feeling high or something." He paused looking up at the four in front of him. You glared at him, daring him to continue. " You think you've been the only one drinking themselves sick?" He asked pointing towards the empty bottles by where you were sitting earlier that night. " My poison is human blood though. Maybe we could go to AA meeting together. Make a date of it."
He was slipping back into his King Of Hell persona and you knew it. He was trying to goad you to see what you'd do. This was him the real him.
" So 8 months fucking ourselves up.I'd ask how'd you fare but well you were passed out in Dean's arms when I got here." He smirked at you, waving lightly and the elder winchester.
You put out your arm as you felt the man start to move towards the demon. Thankfully Dean stayed back out of respect for you. " Why did you come here?"
Crowley sighed before turning and walking around the room. He acted like he didn't care but you could see beyond the facade. He was nervous. Something made him come here and he wasn't quite sure why.
"Crowley…" You only had to speak him to face you okay. You could see the desperation on his face. He thought he was losing you again. " Why did you come here?"
Suddenly he was in front of you again, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. You leaned into it, covering his with your own. You both smiled at each other pretending none of this was happening. But it was. And you needed answers.
" I felt you, [Y/N]. I felt you in pain. I felt you fall and black out like it was me doing it. I just came here knowing I needed to help. I needed to see you." His words came out hoarse as if it hurt to even to speak them.
You searched his eyes looking for any hint of dishonesty but found nothing but the cold truth. He felt you needed him. He was going through the same thing you were if not worse. You knew you still loved him but he thought it was purely one sided. You two were more messed up then you could've thought.
You were perfect for each other.
You wrapped your arms around the demon's neck, pulling him into a hug. After a moment his hands lowered onto your waist pulling you into him in turn. Your eyes closed as you felt the smooth feeling of his suit against your skin and his stubble on your neck.
This was the demon you loved.
The King of Hell.
And he was all yours.
You moved to whisper in his ear before turning back to your friends. The Winchester's looked confused but Cas looked happy for you. You ran up, pulling all three into a messy group hug.
"Thank you three, really" You whispered to them. Before they could question your pretty uncharacteristic actions you had let them go and were already in Crowley's arms again.
"Take me home Crowley"
Your demon just smiled but with a simple nod you two were gone from the bunker, only a blank space and your empty bottles taking up your space.