AN/ Thank you for all your reviews , I read them all and appreciate them so much
FrancineHibiscus you're right about Severus & PTSD and I hope to incorporate it into the story more at some point
Guest RE: Hermione's voice… good call , wait and see ;-)
NevermoreBlack – The skycells were the inspiration for my Azkaban cells , good spot :- )
From here on out in the story, thar be warnings ahead ! !
With one last deep breath she looked at him , before her eyes rolled back and she collapsed into his arms.
Cont.
Well…Fuck. He was not expecting that.
He was for once grateful for the years of spying that meant his reflexes were as good as they were and that she ended up in his arms and not on the floor at his feet.
Now the problem was, what to do now?
He was more concerned about her now that he had her in his arms, the girl had always been slight and he knew she had looked thin when she came through the doors , but now holding her he realised her weight loss over her incarceration was more dramatic than he had first thought.
But what to do with her? He needed to get her to his rooms but he was loathe to move her to a new place whilst she was unconscious as he was worried how she might react either waking up in his arms, or in a different place to where she feel.
Heaving a resigned sigh he realised with her current traumatised state he didn't have much of a choice, as he arranged her in his arms so that he was supporting her without restraining her and aimed a wandless rennervate towards her.
She awoke and he felt the panic in her at the sudden tension and the way she held her breath , as the trembling in her body increased.
"Miss Granger, remember where you are , who I am and the oath I have given you… I mean you no harm I assure you , you fainted and I caught you before you hit the floor , I have no other motives for holding you other than this. Now we need to get you to my rooms so that I can call Poppy to have a look at you…"
A few words into his declaration to her , he realised that he probably didn't need to , though he felt it best to be clear with her anyway, but as soon as her amber gaze met his black one she had relaxed instantly into his arms.
"I noticed that your injuries are causing you pain when you move Miss Granger.." She winced at this and looked away from him.
"…And as you are in my arms already , would you be amicable to being carried to my rooms ? It is a long walk from here to the dungeons and even if you were able to do so in your condition I do not think it will do you any good."
Her mouth moved slightly , as if she was about to bite her lip , an unconscious habit she had had for as long as he remembered , but he noticed with some concern that she had fought the instinct and stopped herself from doing so , again turning away from him before nodding her head.
"Is that a Yes Miss Granger, I have your consent to carry you to our destination ?"
He purposely worded his question that way, he wanted to be clear that she had a choice in this matter, and with the way certain words had been triggering dramatic negative responses from her , he wanted to make sure that he was certain of her responses.
Again she had winced violently at the word consent but again she had nodded to him in the affirmative.
At the moment she was simply supported on his chest , he needed to have a better hold on her if he was carrying her all the way to the dungeons.
"Miss Granger, I am going to move you slightly in my arms so that I may carry you best , I am going to put one arm under your legs , and the other at the bottom of your back , would you be able to put your arms around my neck for me…please?" The please was added as an afterthought , it was not a word he used often , but we wanted to do whatever her could to put her at ease.
She held her breath but nodded again to him , and again he was wondering at her non verbal answers, and made a note to himself to attempt to get to the bottom of it , she slowly raised her arms to put them around his neck , and he noted that she winced as she did so , the move had pained her he realised, and wondered too late how seriously she might be injured under all that grime.
Once he had her securely he rose to his feet , and felt her tighten her arms around him instinctively , only to whimper softly in pain as she did so , again the move had pained her , though now he knew she was capable of making sound and had not been somehow silenced.
He made his way to the dungeons with his precious cargo in his arms , and once again wondered what he was going to do. He was so far out of his depth he wondered if we would ever see dry land again. He had little experience dealing with women on a personal level , outside of the staff members and the female death eaters he experience with women was practically non-existent. Not to mention he had much more experience in healing his own injuries, than anyone elses.
He made it to this quarters and with a wordless spell and nudge of his foot , he got them both through the door , he sighed in relief as the familiar comforting feel of his wards filtered over him , the girl in his arms seemed to relax too , she must have been able to feel his wards also and had relaxed with the safe feeling that they provided.
The first thing he did after placing the girl down on the sofa was to summon Poppy via patronus to come and attend to Miss Granger, only to turn around to see the girl cowering at the farthest part of the sofa away from him. At first he cursed himself again as he wondered what he had done once more to frighten her, at first he thought it was simply using the magic in front of her that had her so spooked, but that could not be it… she had not reacted this way to the bond, or to his wandless spell to open the door and the wards…the…wandless. Wandless. All the magic he had done around her, or to her if he included is rennervate, had been wandless, but he had used a wand to conjure his patronus to call Poppy.
She was frozen in fear on the sofa eyes wide (as they could be) and fixed on his wand, breath coming in deep gulps and trembling like a dog. Slowly he put his wand away in the drawer of his bureau , it felt strange to not have his wand within arm's reach at all times , but he wanted her to relax and understand that he had no intention of using his wand against her.
She relaxed greatly when his wand was away and seemed to lose a lot of her fight, she was obviously exhausted and sank back a little into the sofa as he explained to her his actions.
"I apologise for casting without first informing you , I was only summoning Poppy to come and help us , I didn't mean to scare you little one."
Her eyes snapped to his and she seemed to relax even more when meeting his gaze , as though the simple act of meeting his eyes gave great comfort to her.
Little one? Where had that come from ? He cursed himself a fool, he could not allow himself to become affectionate with her , though every instinct in his body screamed with the urge to protect this girl , to lock her away from others who don't care for or appreciate her , to wrap her in cotton wool and keep her for himself. Fool, the girl was traumatised and all he could think about was how he wanted the sweet young witch for himself.
There was a knock on his chamber door and the girl nearly jumped out her skin , he had been stood by her side as she sat on the sofa , and to his great surprise she had grabbed his coat and fearfully looked into his eyes. He met her eyes and placed his hand atop hers , taking it delicately in his aware of her injuries, whilst he carefully got her to let go of his coat.
"It's just Madam Pompfrey remember? Poppy? I have told you I sent for her yes ?"
She slowly took a few deep breaths in until she was able to relax slightly and then nodded to him.
He let go of her hand and moved with purpose to his door to let Poppy in .
"She's here Severus ?" she asked without hesitation as she stepped into the room.
"She is , she had no wise to partake in the tower , and was petrified when I mentioned the hospital wing and I must warn you Poppy Miss Granger is very fragile right now , be very careful of the words and motions you use around her , I have also discovered that she is terribly unnerved with wands being used around her , can you cast your diagnostics windlessly ?"
"I have no great power with wandless magic Severus, you know that it drains me terribly, but I am sure your skill would be adequate if I taught you wish diagnostics I required … is she… did they…?"
"She is filthy, thin, hurt and afraid Poppy and has yet to say a word to anyone, she nearly climbed the walls when Minerva went to hug her, in her haste to get away from her."
"Oh Severus… you don't think she was…"
He did think she was. He was fairly certain she had been , and was sick at the thought, but he did not wish to dwell on it lest he make himself nauseous.
"I do not wish to think of it, but considering her reactions I think you should prepare for the worst"
"That poor lamb…do you have the potions on hand Severus if…?"
"I do Poppy, I made a few batches in preparation for her return just in case"
He gestured for her to come in , and he led her into his living room where Hermione was seated on the sofa , she seemed tense again but relaxed marginally when he was in sight again.
Holding up a hand to the mediwitch behind him , he addressed her.
"I have Poppy here with me Miss Granger, she is going to assist me and we are going to check you over to see how badly you are hurt, is this agreeable to you ?"
She was trembling again , she wouldn't look at him and shook her head emphatically no at him.
He sighed and gestured for Poppy to take the chair furthest away from her , she nodded sadly as she looked forlornly at the broken girl on the sofa.
He walked over to Hermione , and knelt on the floor in front of her, purposely making himself smaller than her , and less intimidating.
"Miss Granger, you are quite obviously injured and we need to check you over"
She was again shaking her head and refusing to meet his eyes, and he noted with dismay there were tears running silently down her face.
She was violently shaking now, and her breathing was erratic , he was concerned the girl would have a heart attack.
"Miss Granger… Miss Granger"
No answer just the tremors rocking her body , she did not pull away from him but she was shaking her head in vehement denial of his request.
"Hermione"
She stopped suddenly and her eyes widened slightly and snapped to his , he realised it was the first time in 6 years he had ever called her by her first name.
"I know you do not wish this , and I cannot blame you for that , but I would feel horrendously guilty If I were lax in my duty of care to you and did not help your injuries and your pain , if you will not do it for yourself, will you do it for me to ease my pain ?"
It was wrong to blackmail her so, to play on the emotions of the girl who championed everyone, but if it meant she would allow them to heal her, then so be it , he would serve penance later.
She looked at him closely, looked to Poppy, then looked to him again , before finally giving a slight nod , even though tears were running down her face still.
Not wanting to waste any time , and give her any chance to changer her mind, Poppy took the que and moved her chair closer to severus, she moved her chair to his other side so that while she was next to him , she was not in front of Hermione , and Severus was grateful for her forethought not to make the girl feel trapped.
Tears were still running down the girls face, though she seemed to have accepted the need to heal her, there was something else in her expression…Shame? Why would she be ashamed.
"I think it's wise to start from the top and work our way down Severus , and I will take notes as you go along , it's best when we have a lot of injuries to keep a record of each one and any treatments so that we can make sure nothing gets overlooked"
He nodded to Poppy and the addressed Hermione , and he decided to address her as such as she had responded to it before.
"Hermione ? Is that Ok with you ? I am going to run diagnostics on your face and head to start, I will cast nothing other than diagnostic spells to determine your injuries, is this ok with you ?"
She looked miserable, ashamed and had tears down her face, but she nodded without meeting his gaze.
He sighed softly and raised his hand slowly and ran it around her head carefully, she had tensed but not moved at the feel of the magic radiating from his palm and he began to list injuries to Poppy for her to note down.
"Bruises to the back of skull but no fractures or bleeds…Both eyes swollen and bruised , eyes are both fine , but there's a hairline fracture to the cheek bone and the eye socket on the right hand side , nose has been broken and has partially healed on it's own, will need to be reset as it's not in line , lip is split and…"
Here he paused , and Hermione flinched her tremors increased dramatically and the quiet tears became full blown , shoulder shaking sobs, even as she made no sound other than the harsh breathing.
"Severus ?..."
"Poppy I do not…I don't…"
He ran his hand over her again, as the girl sobbed and his stomach revolted.
"Poppy… I don't understand this reading from this side of her jaw … I think I am doing it wrong"
He hoped he was doing it wrong , he prayed he was doing it wrong even as he knew he wasn't
Poppy came over carefully and copied the diagnostic on the right side, the girl too far gone in her anxiety to notice her approach.
After a moment she recoiled her hand as if burnt , she gasped and a sob left her lips as she covered her mouth with her hand.
"Oh …Severus ! Her teeth!"
"What about them ?"
He asked even as fear punched him in the gut.
"Severus….They're gone"
AN / Sorry guys, I warned you .
Please review , they make me so happy