The Life and Times of Lori DuGrey

Dear Diary,

Oh boy! None of us got any sleep last night. This pissed off Grandma Gilmore to no end. Without her beauty sleep and coffee, she is one PMS'd old lady (although, come to think of it, she's probably in menopause). Anyways, since neither mom nor dad has shared a bed in six years, they've since resorted to third grade antics in order to gain control. Mom kept kicking dad's legs until he started to pretend snore really, really loud, which woke grandma. This is when the chaos started.

Grandma, in her traditional, kick ass 'mom sense', grabbed dad by the arm (in his undies and all) and shoved him onto the couch and threw blankets at him. "Shut up!" she barks when he begins to speak. "Go to sleep!"

"Lor..."

"Don't you dare..." she warned.

Dad grabbed her arm. "Please listen," he begged with puppy dog eyes.

"Don't you dare even use that on me. It won't work," she told him. "Let go."

His eyes probably showed mischief, but he said, "No, I won't."

"Let go! Tristan!"

"No."

"I swear to God..."

"No." He gripped her arm a little tighter and pulled her onto the coach. "I know what you want, Lor."

"Ewww!" she shrieked, and then tried to elbow him in the stomach.

Tristan, holding her with one arm, leaned over the coach and pulled up a gift bag for her to open. "Here," he shoved at her.

"Oh!" she said sheepishly. But not before she had awoken the entire family.

"Daddy?" Lori whispered as she practically sleep walked down the stairs.

"What the hell is going on?" Luke grumbled.

"What's..." Rory asked concerned until she saw her mother in Tristan's arms.

Luke, unfortunately, saw this too. "Get your hands off my wife!"

"It's not..." Grandma and Tristan began to explain.

Luke shook his head at Grandma and barked, "We'll talk about this in the morning." Then he walked back to bed taking Lori with him.

Rory glared daggers at Tristan. "You disgust me." Then she went back to bed too.

Tristan looked hurt. "Is she really mad at me?"

Grandma shrugged. "Yes." She was no longer angry since he had gotten her expensive, gourmet coffee.

"Thank you," she said. "Go to bed."

Then Grandma walked to her daughter's room and shut the door. No sound was heard after that until five thirty when Luke got ready for work.

The next morning when Lorelai wakes up Rory is sipping her coffee and Tristan is pouring orange juice into a mug.

"What the hell is wrong with the two of you?" she hisses. "You are acting like children! You are adults! You have a child!"

I can just imagine mom and dad looking really embarrassed. Normally it is mom that acts like the adult in that relationship. But since the split Grandma has been keeping me company. It's not so bad; since living in Hartford with dad, Grandma and Grandpa DuGrey stop by occasionally, as well. When they visit Grandma talks dad out of grounding me and Grandpa slips me a hundred dollar bill. They aren't so bad; I don't know why dad never got along with them.

At ten am I bound down the stairs.

"Good morning everyone!"

"At least someone is happy," my mother mutters to herself.

My father hits her on the back of her head and she spits out her coffee.

"Hey!"

"Don't talk to our daughter like that!"

Mom puts down her coffee and punches him in the chest. "Don't talk to me like that!"

Dad stands there as mom continues to hit his chest. Mom is crying. Dad envelops her in his arms. Mom is clearly defeated. Dad kisses the top of her forehead lovingly and she rests her head in the nook of his neck. They look cozy and this is exactly what I want. But it just seems too easy for me. Their intimacy isn't going to last long.

Grandma and I leave the room.

"Is everything okay?" I ask her.

Grandma looks at me sympathetically. "Your mom…Your mom is just going through a rough time right now."

I hear dad's cell phone vibrating on Grandma's coffee table.

"Why don't you just leave it?" Grandma suggests as she heads upstairs to change.

The phone continues to ring and I see the caller ID. It says "Robert". Curiously, I pick up the phone. I want to answer it but that would be an invasion of dad's privacy.

I answer it anyways. "Hello?"

"Hi. Who's this?" Robert asks.

"Lori. Who's this?"

"Robert. Can I talk to Tristan please?"

I have to make up something quick because dad doesn't know that I've just answered his phone. God, would dad be mad if he knew.

"Sorry. He's a little busy right now."

"I have called his cell phone, haven't I?"

"You have," I reply. "It's just he's fixing the front porch so he'll have to call you back."

"Uh…okay…Tell him…Tell him it's an emergency."

"Sure thing!" I say cheerfully and then hang up.

I really want to burst into the kitchen and yell "Robert's on the phone!" but I know better. I would rather let mom and dad have their moment then ruin it with some emergency thing. It's probably just work related anyways. Everything work related (to dad) is an emergency.

I wish I felt like that much of a priority.