For all her life, Raven had never experienced an 'oh shit' moment. When things got out of control, she usually just faced them emotionlessly and calmly, because somehow or another she knew that there would always be a solution to the problem. When the titans fought, she knew how to draw her mind into an empty void and face her enemies with nothing but a cold determination. She was quite the expert at putting her feelings aside when it was necessary, leaving only a cold shell on the exterior. In fact, she was so used to it that being cold and uncaring became a part of her personality, of her being. That's why 'oh shit' moments never really happened to her.
But this was a classic 'oh shit' moment right here.
The silence was deafening. Raven tried to avoid Robin's glare with the best of her ability, her eyes roaming all over the room. For the first time, she felt grateful for the mask that covered her eyes. She'd rather die than let Robin see her guilty efforts at avoiding him.
At the same time, she realised that Robin had hastily pulled on an oversized T-shirt over the bare top of his – her – body while in the cupboard. Thank goodness she was pretty flat. If she had mountains for boobs, it would be pretty obvious, wouldn't it…
Okay, this was the wrong time for thoughts like that. She was being totally senseless and incoherent.
When Robin spoke, she nearly jumped. "What the hell did you think you were doing?"
Raven took a deep breath, forcing her voice to stay normal. "Chasing her away."
"There were ten million ways in which you could have handled the situation. And you chose the worst one of the lot."
Raven allowed her eyes to rest on his ear, the only thing now which wasn't emanating deadly anger. "It was the most appropriate one."
"Appropriate?" Robin questioned, an eyebrow raised in incredulity. "You are either bullshitting yourself, or you are seriously deluded."
Raven tried not to wince at the cold tone in Robin's voice. She realised that having her voice just made the leader sound even scarier. No thanks to me. "Look," she said slowly. "There was no other way to do it. We all know Star. You know as well as me that if I didn't use those… harsh words on you, she's never going to give up. She's too nice – "
"And pretty and powerful? Yeah, I figured."
"That's not the point – "
"Of course it's not. The point is that you just made me an openly gay sadist with a mental problem." Robin drew in a sharp breath. "Now tell me how the fuck am I supposed to be okay with that?"
To her discomfort, Raven realised that the cupboard doors were starting to appear blackish. Was it some problem with the room's lights? Or was it…?
Her throat tightened. "Robin, I need you to relax."
"Yeah, relax. Relax. That's a piece of cake."
"No, Robin. I'm serious. You've got to control yourself."
"Funny, the one who couldn't control her damn mouth just a few minutes ago is actually trying to preach to me about control."
Raven rushed forward, holding his arms with her rough hands. "You are losing control of your emotions, Rob. You have to keep it dow – "
She was too late. Before she could continue, the closet doors were ripped off the hinges and were left hanging dangerously in mid-air. And they were hovering over their heads dangerously. Very dangerously.
"Robin, stop this. Let's talk about this calmly – "
"You can't expect me to think about this calmly, can you – "
Raven was starting to get a bit nervous. This was just like the first day at the gym, but only more life-threatening. She glanced up, wary of the two hovering doors. Were they… shaking?
Oh, this was not good. Not good at all.
Desperately, she grabbed Robin's wrists as tightly as she could. "Look, just stop being so sensitive, alright? We've got two goddamn doors flying above our heads, so you bloody well keep your emotions in check before we both die stupid and tragic deaths in your room!"
At Raven's sudden and unexpected outburst, Robin seemed to come to his senses, his shaking fists steadying as he looked up for the first time. Staring at it wordlessly, he shifted his gaze back to Raven, as if expecting some sort of advice.
"Okay, now I want you to direct those two doors down to the ground, right next to us. Try it."
"Yeah, I would love to try it, if only you actually taught me how I was to go about doing it."
Raven groaned, clapping a palm to her forehead. She had taught him how to control his emotions, but she had neglected to teach him how to use her powers. Stupidest idea ever. "Okay, right, teach you, yup. I need you to achieve serenity first. With serenity comes control."
"God, why does everything have to be about serenity – "
"Robin, I need you to try. Don't talk, just try."
With some effort, Robin stretched out his arms towards the two doors, muttering 'serenity' over and over again. After some time, the doors stopped shaking. Thank Azarath. Raven gave a little sigh of relief, then continued. "Great, you've actually got the hang of it. Now I want you to will those two doors to the ground."
"Will?"
"Yeah, will."
"So I just tell myself I want them to come down?"
"Uh, yeah, if that's how you want to put it."
"Okay, uh," Robin fidgeted slightly, directing his attention back to the doors. "Both of you, come down."
Nothing happened, even though Raven tried to convince herself that the door on the left did come down a few inches. Talk about wishful thinking.
"Um, I command you to come down."
Still, nothing. Raven muttered, "You don't need to talk to the doors, you just need to will them down – "
"Now."
The doors didn't budge. This was getting slightly frustrating. Starfire had picked up her abilities in a matter of minutes. What was wrong with this guy?
"This is the most irritating thing I've ever done." Robin scowled. "COME DOWN, DAMMIT!"
And that was when he made his fatal mistake. With a whoosh, the two hovering doors started to plummet at an insane speed, heading right towards their heads. Raven found herself jumping forward and yelling, "No, no! Too fast! Move them to the side!"
She watched as Robin's eyes widened and he quickly pushed his glowing fists straight to the right, back at the cupboard. But in his desperation, he forgot the very word she had been trying to drill into his thick skull all this time – 'serenity'.
With a deafening crash, the doors slammed headfirst into the side of the large cupboard, showering them in wood splinters and clothes.
But the worst problem hadn't surfaced yet. From the impact, the cupboard started to teeter dangerously towards them. And then it made its descent.
With his fast reflexes (even in Raven's body), Robin leapt forward and pushed the shocked Raven away before the cupboard fell upon him.
Ten minutes earlier
Starfire walked out of Robin's room in a daze, her mind wandering as she proceeded to glide through the corridor towards the main hall. She felt strange, for some reason. Something had been very strange in there, but she could not tell what.
All she knew was that after leaving the room, her heart had started to beat even more wildly than before.
Was it friend Robin? Was it the difference in his behaviour? Yes, he seemed very different just now, but she couldn't tell what exactly was different about him. He looked the same, if not a bit dishevelled, and he sounded the same.
Was it what he said? About having – what was that curious word again, oh yes! - OCD, and being gay? No, it couldn't be. That wasn't what made her so excited. It was his mannerism. The way he behaved towards her today was so different, so honest, so… fresh. He was incredibly impressive today. The way he shifted his hands uncomfortably, the slightly emotionless expression on his face, the way his explanation flowed, the cold exterior…
He was so cool.
Her heart beating wildly in her chest again, Starfire glided a little bit faster. This was extraordinarily exciting. With a smile, she flew excitedly towards the large hall doors. Friend Beast Boy would love to be updated about her newfound exhilaration.
Beast Boy sat forlornly on the sofa, his legs folded and his arms crossed. This was the worst day ever. Everything wasn't right about today, and that irritated him.
Firstly, Cyborg threw away all his tofu. Secondly, Cyborg kicked him off the sofa while he was sleeping in his dog form. Thirdly, Cyborg didn't want to play video games with him.
Cyborg, Cyborg, Cyborg. That bastard was ruining his life.
He had stayed up unnecessarily late to listen to the annoying bird squawks all night, and this time there were many complaints. They complained about the thunderstorm yesterday. They complained that the lightning killed some of them, because it came so unexpectedly. They complained that they felt a strange magical aura from the Tower during the thunderstorm.
What. Utter. Bullshit.
If they were just trying to get his attention, they were failing badly at it. Just because of some stupid thunderstorm they were starting to come up with crazy unbelievable stories that even Starfire would find hard to believe.
Strange, magical aura? Funny, he hadn't noticed anything strange or magical during the thunderstorm. And everyone was doing fine. Jinx was still doing her time in jail, and Puppet Master was dead.
Forcing himself to think of something happier, Beast Boy started to daydream about that pretty tuna he kissed that day in the sea (while he was being a tuna). Gosh, he was so irresistible to the ladies, even those of other species. This was a true blue Casanova right here.
Just as he was starting to enjoy his reverie, the hall doors hissed open and in few Starfire, her face flushed and her eyes bright with excitement. Curious, Beast Boy rested his head in his palms as he watched her float towards him.
"Friend Beast Boy! I have extremely good news!"
Beats Boy perked up a little. "For me?"
Starfire shook her head cheerfully. "No, friend, for me!"
He deflated, sagging a little on the couch. What the hell, someone should teach her some manners about not gloating about your good news to someone who was in a shitty mood.
Starfire came closer. "It's about friend Robin."
Immediately, Beast Boy shot up. Now this was some good gossip for the milking. "Yeah? What about him? Did you confess to him?"
Starfire nodded abashedly. "Yes."
"Oh my god, he said yes? He said yes, didn't he?" Beast Boy was nearly dancing in excitement now. Imagine that! Robin and Starfire sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I…
"No, he did not." Starfire replied as cheerfully as before, a smile still plastered on her face.
"What the… then why are you so happy about it? Shouldn't you be moping or something? Like you just got rejected by your crush of a hundred million years?"
Again, the alien shook her head. "It's not that, friend Beast Boy. It was his peculiar behaviour."
"Peculiar… what?"
"Behaviour," the alien repeated happily. "He was extraordinarily cool today, to put it in human terms. Everything was so cool about him! He was quite smooth, and a bit lacking in emotion, and a bit cold…"
"Huh? You mean like… Raven?"
Starfire pursed her lips in thought. "Well, now that you have given me such an appropriate reminder, I should think so…"
"So you are telling me you like Robin more now because he's Raven-ized?"
Starfire nodded, smiling.
"Okay, you said he was smooth. What did he say?"
"Oh, well, he said a lot of queer things that I am not very familiar with. But he told me he was happy!"
"Happy? So Robin just looked at you and said, 'Hi, sorry I don't like you back, but I'm happy'?"
"Those were not his precise words, but I am sure that he meant so!" Starfire said, blushing.
Beast Boy stared at her for a moment. "Okay, wait. Wait wait wait. What did he say?"
"Friend Robin said he was gay, which means jovial and carefree, does it not?" The pink alien was so proud of herself for having mastered the English language so easily. Who said it was difficult? It was simpler than her own native language!
Beast Boy leaped up on the sofa, his eyes wide and unbelieving. Robin said that he was… gay? This was crazy. She must've heard the guy wrongly, because Robin would never, ever say he's gay. Robin being gay was like Raven being girly. Raven and girly did not go along well at all. Raven had none of the qualities people expected of females.
She was Raven The Ungirly And Kind Of Freaky Person Oh Wait No Demon.
His thoughts were racing through his head now at a speed faster than Kid Flash. Something was incredibly weird here, and he had to figure it out before he died of curiosity. Curiosity was something Beast Boy was really scared of, because it was lethal. He had heard about millions of cats dying because of this horrible disease. He didn't want to contract it and die a pathetic death in cat form.
Before he could gather his thoughts together, there was a loud crash from the corridor. And then it was followed by another, and then a yell.
Raven stared in horror at the sight before her. The room was a huge mess, with clothes and wooden splinters strewed everywhere. The overhead light had been smashed beyond recognition, and some of the glass had landed on the fallen cupboard as well.
But that wasn't her main concern. Somewhere in that rubble lay the leader.
Jumping forward, Raven started to dig futilely at the pile of clothes, shoving them aside as she reached for the damaged cupboard. Pulling as hard as she could (she was amazed by the incredible amount of energy she now possessed), she managed to lift the cupboard just enough to see… some violet hair. Desperately, she grabbed the edges of the cupboard to get a better grip and yanked. Robin was pinned under there, and she needed to get him out.
With a grunt, she managed to lift the cupboard just enough to get the weight off the leader's body. How was she going to get him out of there with her two hands occupied? Kick the body out of there?
No. Never. There was absolutely no way in which she was going to abuse her own body like that.
Feeling slightly guilty for that selfish thought, Raven reluctantly nudged the unconscious leader, hoping that he would wake up and roll himself out of there. The cupboard was crazily heavy; she knew that she was going to lose grip of it soon.
Raising her leg as high as she could, Raven took a deep breath and -
"NOW WHAT IN FUCK'S NAME IS THIS?" Cyborg bellowed as he bounded into the room, followed by Beast Boy and Starfire.
Raven's legs stopped poised in mid air. "What?"
"You tell me what, Rob. This is the second time I'm seeing a wrecked room this week!" Cyborg paused, then froze as he caught sight of the unconscious body on the floor. "Is that Raven?"
Beast Boy craned his neck as he scrutinized Raven in her incriminating position. "Gosh, Rob, you look like you were going to kick her."
Raven raised her hands desperately. "No, I wasn't, I'm trying to – "
Cyborg ran forward and lifted the cupboard off Raven's arms, much to her relief. Flexing her arms quickly, she bent down to tend to the unconscious Robin. She needed to examine his injuries immediately. That cupboard was really heavy, and she was sure that he broke a rib or two. She tried not to wince as she imagined her body being bruised in such a horrible way.
Instinctively, Raven stretched her palm out and lay it flat on Robin's chest. Now all she had to do was summon her powers and…
Oh fuck.
As Raven slowly lifted her head to look at the other three titans, she realised that she had just gotten herself into a lot more trouble than she expected.
Cyborg was the first to speak, and his voice was strained. "Robin, are you… feeling her up?"