Note: I might do one more chapter, I'm not sure yet.

"Jasper, you have to do it, Bella won't last much longer like this." Carlisle insisted from across the room.

"If Bella's wish is to die who am I to deny her that?" I grumbled.

"Jasper, why are you making this more difficult than it has to be. I know you care for her, we all do. Why are you making her suffer?"

"I didn't do anything wrong. Bella was the one who asked for it. Now because of her I lost my brother's trust and my wife's love. So why should I help her?" I all but growled.

"You've changed too, you know? You haven't hunted in weeks, you planning on dying yourself?" Carlisle claimed coming closer.

I harshly laughed at his words.

"Planning to die? How can I die, I'm already dead, remember?"

"You still have a soul Jasper. Just because you can't see it, touch it or feel it, doesn't mean it isn't there. You still have a chance to do the right thing here."

"The right thing, and what is that?"

"Changing Bella into one of us."

"You honestly think I could change her without killing her completely?"

"I have faith in you son. You have more strength than you give yourself credit for."

After much debated and self-doubt I headed downstairs to where Bella's weak form was sitting.

She was still on the same couch I had placed her many weeks ago. Her complexion was paler then usual and she was skin and bones. Her once comfortable fit clothes were swimming on her, her eyes lacked life and her cheeks were sunken in on the sides. She looked like a living skeleton.

I watched in the shadows as Esme tried to get Bella to eat some soup but she refused, holding her hand up in protest, claiming in a frail voice that she was no hungry.

The scene sickened me, she was clearly hungry, her body was crying out for food and proper attention but she was being stubborn and denying any self-enjoyment. Bella was punishing herself.

"Let me try." I said carefully taking a spot on the couch next to Bella.

Esme nodded, placing the bowl on the table and left us in silence.

"Do you want to die Bella?" I asked harshly.

"I don't care anymore; nothing matters anymore, not without Edward." She replied sadly, staring off in space.

"You have a choice Bella, you either eat some soup or I'm going to bite you. I will not have your death be on my conscience." I argued.

Without saying a word, without even giving me acknowledgement, Bella pushed her brown messy hair off her shoulder, exposing her neck to me.

"Go ahead and kill me than, I have no reason to live anymore." She voiced dully.

I sat there stunned as she closed her eyes and mentally prepared herself for the hurtful bite.

She really wants to die… and I really need to feed.

It's a win, win situation.

I would be doing us both a favor.

My mouth filled with venom as I eyed her blood flowing neck, watching closely as it pulse with every shallow breath she took, her heart no doubt had been working overtime these last few weeks, pumping double the amount of blood through her system, trying to fix the damaged caused from her malnutrition.

I took my time, moving closer to her tiny form ever so slowly, wanting to savor the moment as long as possible. It was music to my ears as Bella's heart beat quicken with every inch I crossed.

I closed my eyes, remembering what her sweet blood tasted like, I only had a sample of it once but it was enough to know her blood tasted like pure heaven.

I stomach grumbled at the thought and my nails dug into the sofa trying not to jump Bella. I promised myself I would make it as painless as possible for her. It was the only right thing to do. I did not want to return to the savage monster I once was with Maria.

I changed my ways when I met Alice, when I met the Cullen's and they became my family, when a human became a part of our extended family.

Does Bella not care how this decision will affect all the people in her life?

Does she not know how it will affect mine?

I drew closer and closer until my ice cold lips touched her lukewarm neck. I pressed my mouth against her pulse, trying to calm my senses. I could feel her boney frame against my stone one, I could smell her lovely scent against my nose and I could practically taste her on my lips.

I pulled back from her neck just enough to open my mouth and sink my teeth down into her. Bella gasped once and then her body went limp against mine.

I could have easily feed on her, sucked her dried but I resisted the temptation and pumped my venom in her veins.

Once down, I sealed the bloody wound giving it a few licks of my tongue before carefully laying Bella back down on the couch.

I watched her lay in peace as the venom worked its magic inside her body.

She really was special, if I had not known it before I knew it now.

I moved a strain of her brown hair out of her face and took a lifeless hand in mine.

"I'm proud of you son. I knew you could do it." Carlisle said coming up from behind, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I dropped Bella hand instantly and moved off the couch.

"Proud? What have I done to be proud of, I lost a brother, a wife and I turned a friend all for my own selfish purposes. There is nothing to be proud worthy for what I have done, only shame and regret."

"Jasper…"

"Keep an eye on her, will you? I have to hunt." I voiced heading out of our big house and into the woods.

I needed to hunt yes, but I also needed time to think and figure out how to explain to Bella how I had betrayed her wish to die.

She had once wanted to be a vampire like us but that was when she had Edward by her side.

With Edward gone would she still have wanted this life?

Would Bella have agreed to a forever without Edward?

Would she still want the life of a vampire knowing she would be dare I say, MY mate?