Notes ---

As I'm sure you'll figure out, some things in this story are different because Liz and Jason get together earlier than on the show. So you'll just have to go with the differences and maybe you can see how the timeline might have gone if you trace it back to that point.

For example: Because Jason took out Lorenzo for killing Sonny, Lorenzo wasn't around to facilitate the hostage crisis at the Metro Court (or in this story the Carlyle) Hotel. No MCHC, hence Alan didn't die. There is also a great lack of Courtney impact in the story (stemming from the fact that Jason never hooked up with her since he married Liz, and therefore she didn't have much of an impact on the town as a whole by not being with him). Part of that is that Spencer is Nikolas and Emily's biological child. And there are other little things like that going on in here. I'll try to explain sometimes if it's necessary, but I'm hoping the story will be smooth enough to explain itself (emphasis on the hoping). Also if there are questions feel free to ask.

Don't own GH or the characters, just the stuff I write.

The Art of Restoration

Chapter 5

Liz and Emily went upstairs after they finished eating to have some girl talk while Kam was commandeered by her grandparents. They'd apparently bought some things for her since last time she'd visited and wanted to give them to her. And grandparents were never to be thwarted in the midst of their spoiling duties.

Liz was happy to get some face time with her best friend for the first time in a while. Normally they just blew up the long distance phone line with every happening and piece of gossip they could think of, but it was even better to do it in person when you could really laugh together. The only thing that was putting a bit of a damper on things was Emily's chosen topic of conversation.

Jason.

"Why don't we talk about your relationship for a while? Life must be awful being married to a prince and living in a castle."

Liz grinned to herself when Emily smiled dreamily and looked at her wedding ring. She knew she'd picked the perfect question to take her friend's mind off track.

"Life is just sickeningly perfect, thank you very much. Nik and I are happier than we've ever been, and our little boy is wonderful too."

Emily and Nikolas Cassadine had been together for what seemed like forever. They were friends first, just like Liz and Jason had been, and their feelings grew and grew until they couldn't ignore them anymore. At least that's how it happened for Nik. Emily had a crush on him since the moment she met him. In typical guy fashion, it took him a bit to catch up.

Liz could remember all the times she and Emily would talk as teenagers and Em would go on about how she wished Nik would see her as more than just a friend. And now they were married and had a son. Of course they had been married for a short time before, but circumstances tore them apart for a while. But as life tends to do, it found a way to let them work their way back to where they belonged. And along the way they had a beautiful little boy named Spencer.

"I can't wait to see my godson. The last pictures you sent me can't be the same baby I held just a couple years ago. He's getting so big!"

"I know. I keep trying to hold onto all the little moments because time is passing so fast. Before I know it he'll be off to college while his old mom cries her eyes out that her baby is gone."

Liz looked at the wistful expression on her face and laughed. "Hold on, he's not growing that fast. Get him to kindergarten before you start worrying about college."

Em laughed and gave a dismissive gesture in reference to her sentimental musings. "Don't mind me. Time just goes so fast. Sometimes you really have to remind yourself to enjoy the good things while they're happening, because you never know what'll happen next."

Liz knew Em had a right to be thankful for the good times she was having now. So many difficult ones had preceded it that she probably thought it was a miracle she'd made it this far. There was a bout with breast cancer a few years back that she'd thankfully won, and then there was Nik's brain tumor not long after Spencer was born. Such opportunities for tragedy, but they'd both come out on the other side together and stronger than ever.

"I can't think of anyone who deserves it more than you Em. You've been through so much."

"I'm not the only one you know? I can remember some tough times for you too. But look at you. You're a successful gallery owner now, living in Italy like you always dreamed, with a beautiful little girl … and a fabulous best friend." She and Liz laughed at her obvious lack of low self esteem. "Your life is fantastic … you know, except for the fact that you're not with the love of your life. Which is easily fixable, if you and my brother weren't so infuriatingly stubborn."

Liz groaned at the way Em managed to turn the conversation so quickly back on her. She fell sideways on the bed they were sitting on in Em's old bedroom and put a pillow over her head.

Em laughed at her friend's frustration with her and decided to have mercy on her. For now.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop." She pulled the pillow off Liz's head and grinned at the glare she was met with. "I'm not trying to make you mad. I just love you both and want you to be happy. So sue me."

"Who says I'm not happy? And Jason seems …" She didn't exactly know how to complete that sentence.

Em gave her an I told you so face. "See … even you can't lie and say Jason's anywhere in the general vicinity of happiness. He's … dealing. In his Jason way. You know better than anyone how he can take a situation and live through it, making everyone believe he's okay when really he's just suffering in silence for their sakes." She sighed at the sadness of it. "I've seen my brother genuinely happy two times in his life. The first was when he took care of Michael for Carly after he was born. She was in the midst of post partum depression and that little boy needed someone he could count on. Jason loved him from that moment on like he was his own. Then Carly came back and turned everyone's lives upside down, playing games with everyone's feelings for Michael and moving him back and forth between A.J. and Jason like a chess piece." Em shook her head in disgust. She would never really forgive Carly for the pain she'd caused the whole Quartermaine family with her selfish ways. "Jason was so torn up when he gave Michael up for his own good. It was like someone ripped his heart out and gave it away."

She felt herself tearing up when she remembered Jason's eyes when he'd see Michael around town or ask her how he was doing. Then she looked over at Liz, who she could see was remembering the same thing. She smiled again and patted her hand.

"Then came his other and greatest happiness … you. Both of you were going through something painful and you found a kindred spirit in each other. You healed each other in every way imaginable. And it turned into something beautiful and once in a lifetime … something bigger than both of you. I've never seen him light up, or smile, or laugh with anyone else the way he does with you. And I certainly haven't seen anything like that from him since you two broke up. He loves being with Michael of course, and Kam, and loves being their dad. But he doesn't have the joy anymore that only you brought him." She dipped her head to look Liz in the eye since her head had dropped some. "I think you're suffering from some of that yourself. You're fine with things the way they are, and proud of what you've accomplished … but, are you really happy?"

As she watched a tear fell from the corner of Liz's eye, and was quickly wiped away. She hadn't meant to browbeat her with the truth. Sometimes her desire for her family to be as happy as she was got the best of her and made her brutally honest. But there was a time and place for it, and this obviously wasn't it. She said her piece, and now Liz needed to process it and make her own decision. Em hadn't wanted to make her friend so upset, but she couldn't say she totally regretted it if it made Liz really think about what she'd lost and could have again.

Liz was kind of reeling from the double barrel blast of frankness. She hadn't wanted to hear any of what Em was saying … mostly because it was pretty much all true. At least on her side of it. Thing were going well in Italy, but she couldn't escape the fact that there was a void in her life that nothing seemed to fill. And much as she tried to deny it, the void was unmistakably Jason shaped.

She couldn't speak as to what Jason felt and hadn't been able to for a long time. But she knew that Em was probably the one person that still could read him. And that scared her. Because if what she'd said was true, it put things on a different keel. She'd come to Port Charles on two missions, to help her Gram recover and to get over Jason Morgan once and for all.

How the hell was she supposed to do that with everyone telling her he wasn't over her either? Because whether it was true or not, and of course there was that stubborn aching place inside her that wanted it to be, nothing could really come of it. If there was anything she knew about the man she'd loved for a huge chunk of her life, it was that he didn't give his word lightly. Their divorce had been her idea for the most part, and he simply hadn't fought her on it. Regardless of if he loved Carly, a thought which made her stomach revolt against the cheese fries she just ate, or was happy with her he'd taken vows with her and created a new family with her and their son.

She had no right to just show up and insert herself into that after all this time.

"I'm not going to say I'm the happiest I've ever been. We both know I'm not that good of a liar. But, I'm as happy as I can be right now. And I have to believe that one day I'll find love again … and I-I don't want Jason to be unhappy. Even after everything, I want him to have that. If it's with Carly … I just … have to learn to accept that." Liz swallowed the lump in her throat that the words had to force their way past. Though she meant what she said, that didn't make it easy to say.

"Oh Liz." Em sighed at how good hearted her friend was. "You deserve to be happy too. However it is you find that, I'll always support you and be here for you."

The two women, who were as close to sisters as possible without being from the same gene pool, gave each other a big hug. They sat for a minute trying to compose themselves before heading downstairs.

"I forgot to ask," Liz said on the way, "What are you and Nik doing for your first anniversary? It's coming up soon I know."

She could remember hearing about her friend's wedding when it happened and how bittersweet it had been for the couple. Nik was still in the midst of his illness, and the two hadn't wanted to wait another moment to be man and wife again. They'd decided to just have a simple ceremony with the two of them and their son. The only other attendees were the minister's wife and sister who served as witnesses. Their families and friends had been present for their first lavish dream wedding; this wedding was as much of a dream but more of a private celebration of their love and all they'd been through together.

Liz and the rest of Em's and Nik's family completely understood and wished them well, along with silent prayers for Nik's full recovery. Thankfully all their prayers were answered when his tumor was successfully removed with surgery.

"Well, I know he's planning something. I keep seeing him talking on the phone and murmuring to Alfred and when I walk into a room everything goes quiet."

Emily was going crazy trying to figure out what her husband was up to, but he was not giving an inch. And there was no way Alfred was spilling the beans. The long time Cassadine family butler was way too loyal to Nikolas to even hint at it, but he would smile knowingly every time Em tried getting one of them to talk.

"Whatever it is I'm sure will be wonderful," Liz chuckled as they reached the living room.

They found Kam sitting on the couch with a pile of books, some clothes, and a new Barbie complete with fancy convertible all around her.

"Look Mommy! Look what Grandma and Grandpa gave me!" Kam ran over to her mother with a pair of hunter green jeans with colored stones on the pockets in one hand, and her Barbie in the other. "And I got new books and Grampy got me a car!"

"So I see," Liz said with wide eyes.

Kam went back to her pile of goodies and Monica came over to Liz. "I hope it's okay. We honestly didn't mean to get so much, but she can't have too many books and the outfits were just so adorable I knew she'd love them."

Liz watched as Monica looked at Kam with love in her eyes. She knew how much it meant when she and Alan were able to see their granddaughter, especially since they had almost no contact with Michael because of Carly.

She and Jason had been careful not to go overboard with toys and things, which would be easy since her father as well as his family were so well off. As a result, Kam was a pretty level headed kid and not a brat by any means. So she didn't see much harm in her getting a few extra things from her grandparents. And who didn't need books and clothes anyway. But the car was kind of pushing it. Edward was famous for that though.

Liz went over to the man in question who was enjoying Kam's enthusiasm over her gifts. He looked up at her, innocent as a babe, when she stopped next to his favorite chair.

"A car Edward?" she asked quietly.

"What?" he asked with raised eyebrows. "How else is Barbie supposed to get to all her parties … the bus?"

Surprised by his response, she let out a bark of laughter before she could stop herself. "How do you know about Barbie's social life?"

"Kamryn told us all about it the last time she was here. Apparently the young woman has an inordinate amount of clothes and can't seem to decide what she wants to do for a living. She's been a doctor, a lawyer, a business woman … which is the most sensible of the bunch … a weather girl, an ice skater … the list goes on and on."

The thought of business tycoon Edward Quartermaine being educated by a five year old on the fascinating world of a doll, and actually paying enough attention to expound on it himself was more than her mind could take after such a long day.

"Kam? Did you thank everyone for all your presents?"

"Yes Mommy."

"Well we should get going then. Thanks from me too you guys." Liz helped her daughter collect her loot and they headed, along with Emily, to the door.

"You know I love shopping for this precious girl," Monica said with a hand to Kam's head.

"I was going to buy her some new shoes soon anyway because she's growing out of her old ones, now we have a bunch of new outfits to match them to." Liz stopped at the door and turned. "Maybe you'd like to come shopping with us then?"

"Are you kidding?" Monica asked jokingly. "Just tell me when."

Emily opened gave her parents a hug and Kam a kiss before going to her car. Kam and Liz did the same and piled themselves and their things in the car waiting for them.

"Wow! Someone made out like a bandit." Marco commented once they were on their way.

"Someone has some very generous grandparents," Liz responded as she watched Kam play with her new doll. "And a great grandfather who is very familiar with Barbie and her accessories." At Marco's questioning look she replied, "Don't ask."

It wasn't long until they were at her Gram's house and Liz was relieved to finally be able to relax. Marco and the other guys Jason sent talked briefly before she and Kam were able to leave the car. Their suitcases were brought inside and Marco said goodnight as he started his shift outside the house.

As they got inside and settled in she realized just how different things were probably going to be now that they were back. It had taken some time to adjust to having round the clock guards and security measures when she and Jason had officially started seeing each other. But being with him made everything worth it. Once she got to know the guys and was comfortable with them, she didn't notice it as much either.

It was oddly more difficult once she was away from Port Charles, because the normal precautions were now just another reminder of the life and the man she'd left behind.

Now she had the man to remind her in person.

"Why don't you go up to your room and brush your teeth and I'll bring up your pajamas."

"Okay." Kam started to go up and turned back to her mom. "Can I take my new doll to bed with me?"

"Sure sweetie."

As Liz watched her daughter bound up the stairs, she looked around the living room and found herself feeling more grounded. Being at her Gram's house always made her feel safe and loved. It was the first place she'd ever felt at home and unconditionally loved.

Whenever she and Kam visited together they stayed there and had their own rooms, so the little girl knew exactly where to go. And that's where Liz found her after she retrieved a pair of kitten covered pj's from one of the suitcases.

She helped her change and then tucked her into bed. With Barbie of course.

"I'm glad we're here Mommy. I missed everybody."

"Me too baby." Liz stroked her hair and smiled. "I love you very much."

"I love you too Mommy."

Kam gave her a hug and got a kiss in return. Then Liz turned off the light and went downstairs to get the rest of her luggage. She made it to her room finally and decided to wait until tomorrow to unpack. She took out a nightgown, brushed her teeth, and changed before getting into bed. But after about a half hour, she couldn't seem to settle down enough to sleep. She'd been so tired before, but now her mind wouldn't rest. Being back, as well as all the unsolicited advice on her love life she'd received that day, had served to stir her up more than she'd been before she left Italy.

Liz knew that the people who loved her meant well, but she wished they'd just kept their opinions to themselves. Especially since they'd said everything she did and didn't want to hear most.

Feeling restless, she got out of bed and went downstairs to make some tea. While the water boiled, she looked through her Gram's mail that she'd brought in from the box by the front door. Seeing nothing pressing, she dropped it on the coffee table and her attention was drawn to the corner of a picture sticking out of a book underneath it.

Her Gram's family albums were kept there she knew, and the picture was more than familiar to her; even just seeing a portion of it. Since she was well aware what the picture was of, her instincts screamed at her to ignore it and walk away. But something, most likely the masochist in her, tugged at her to sit and pull it out.

She sat slowly and removed the album from the stack. With a gentle hand she ran her fingers over the gold lettering on the leather cover. It read "Our Wedding". Taking a bracing breath, she opened it to the first page.

Bride: Elizabeth Webber

Groom: Jason Morgan

Wedding Day: October 4, 2002

Place: St. Bartholomew's Church

Reception: Quartermaine Mansion

Liz could remember her grandmother insisting that if they were going to do this, they do it right; hence them being married in a church. Truly Liz had no objection to it, and was actually glad.

She and Jason had planned to get married at the Justice of the Peace, but their family would not have it. Because of their pushy ways, she'd had a wonderful, intimate family wedding that she would remember all her life.

The first picture was of her and her Gram, in the house she now sat in, before leaving for the church. Emily had taken it, saying it was a representation of her leaving one life and starting another with her husband.

Liz smiled at how happy she looked then. She was pregnant and showing by then. The dress Em had helped her pick out was a tea length baby doll style that bared her shoulders. Though it was chilly outside, they would spend the most part of the day indoors and she had a coat to wear over it. Her hair was curled gently about her face with a delicate band of flowers at the crown.

The next picture was of her and Emily in the church vestibule holding their bouquets. She'd been so happy when Em agreed to be her maid of honor, especially since Liz worried at first how she'd react to her best friend and brother being a couple. Back when Jason stayed at Liz's studio after being shot everyone assumed they were together though they were just friends, and just the thought of it made Em mad. But in the end, she was happy that they were happy together and thrilled that she would be an aunt.

Next was a picture of Jason and Sonny in front of the church. Though the camera obviously loved him, Jason wasn't generally one for being photographed. But he wore a beautiful bright smile in every picture she'd seen of him on that day. Turning the page she found a picture of him and Sonny with a somber looking Carly.

That page was quickly turned.

As she went on she saw Jason and Sonny standing at the altar with the minister, Emily walking toward them, and herself being escorted down the aisle on Alan's arm. Then there was one of her and Jason facing each other, holding hands as the minister spoke.

She looked away for a moment from the picture of the loving couple in the book. It wasn't like she really needed the pictures to remember. She could close her eyes and draw up any memory from that day and play it in her mind; as accurate as any video. And they did have one of those too.

Emotions she'd done her best to ignore came at her like a tidal wave. A hand came up to her mouth to stifle the sound of pain that almost escaped her.

This was why she left; why she gave the albums and videos to her Gram to keep for Kam. It was easier to pretend you were alright when the source of your deepest pain and regret wasn't in your face constantly. She always believed she'd done an admirable job of proving the out of sight, out of mind theory had merit.

Maybe she was just fooling herself.

Her averted eyes landed on the picture sticking out from the middle of the book that first caught her attention. Pulling it free she saw it was of her, Jason, and Kam about a week after they brought her home from the hospital; just as she'd thought. It was a copy of one she'd actually taken with her to Italy. Though it sometimes hurt to look at it, she wanted their daughter to know that even if they lived apart she had parents who loved and cherished her from the moment she was born. Before she was born to be more accurate.

Liz couldn't imagine there was ever a child who was more wanted or anticipated than Kam. Jason was over the moon to be a father and worked himself into a state making sure mommy and baby were comfortable and cared for at all times. Even as the tears started to come she had to smile at the memory of him going out in the black of night to find her toaster waffles, pineapple ice cream, and pickles just because she had a craving. He'd brought it back after searching about four different stores and brought it up to her in bed on a tray. He even ate some of it with her so she wouldn't feel like a complete whale.

Jason always told her she was beautiful, touched her like she was beautiful, and made her feel beautiful; even when she couldn't see her feet anymore.

Stop it Liz! she mentally scolded herself. She dropped the picture, shut the book, and finally noticed the screaming of the tea kettle in the kitchen. She jumped up and ran to take it off the heat; grateful it hadn't woken Kam.

As the steam wafted from the spout she leaned back against the counter and ran her hands through her hair. She grabbed a paper towel and dried the tears that stained her face. Suddenly she felt drained. Like she'd just jogged an emotional marathon and might drop at any second. She poured out the water, the tea no longer necessary, and headed up to her room.

Crawling into bed she pulled the covers up around her and tried to flush the memories from her mind again; to find that safe, pretended indifference to all things Jason she'd built up over time. But she had a sick feeling it was not easily donned anymore.

Some kind of release had occurred downstairs, one her Gram would probably say was a long time coming. It wasn't as loud, but perhaps as powerful as the screaming of the kettle. She had to acknowledge things now the way she'd avoided doing before.

Drifting off to sleep she wondered exactly what ramifications that might have, and why it had to happen now.

To be continued …

That was a long delay I know, but I won't be so tardy again.

Thanks for reading and reviewing again everyone!

Thanks to all my message board friends and fellow Liason fans for sticking with me!