Edward's Journal During the Days of Twilight

by Mrs. Cope

Trying to understand the pull of love and desire he finds in Bella, Edward writes in his journal. These entries are those he had time to write as he tried to make sense of these new feelings, emotions and needs.

6. Chapter 6: Thursday

Thursday

Has love ever freed one from despair? I am befuddled, bemused, bewildered, blind, ecstatic, fearful, free and caged! She knows.

I know the danger this girl presents, danger that infuses my thoughts and threatens our existence here. But for the moment, my still heart sings with release and the hope – yes! After all this time – the hope of acceptance, of love, of attachment and harmony.

Surely the world has never known a truer man than Carlisle Cullen. I feel so much more than admiration and love for him; it's a sort of awe. As I lay dying, he found within me a spark worth kindling, and so joined me here and sapped away my soul. But I can find no remorse with which to tag him, no stone to throw. Without his friendship, care, love, I would be adrift and morally corrupt. Without his desperate act of loneliness, this journal would be left unwritten. But for his… humanity, I would not know Bella.

Bella, Bella, her very name is music unto its own. Softly she chimes, calling me to worship. So sweet the song of love that brushes my being, the stone of my flesh bends to its music. Tonight I will run to her, to watch her sleep, to dream beside –