A/N: For all those bodily function haters, there will be a bit of gassyness in this one. Twinkie pie you better not hate on this. l:)
Lance came out of the bathroom as white as Celestia. His teal eyes darted around the room looking for the two alicorns he heard talking. "Must've left." He left the room and then the palace only to see Luna and Tia in the garden. He couldn't let them see him like this otherwise they would be all over him like butter on toast. The white dragon shut the door quickly and went outside the palace the back way. Tia and Luna noticed the door and went inside. "Lance?" Luna called to him. Lance heard Luna and opened a window before heading out since he didn't have enough time to go through the backdoor. He quickly flew away as Tia came to the window only to see his tail. "Well we almost had him." She looked at her younger sister. "Yes we did." She giggled. "Well if he's held down, tied to a bed and forced to have sex with every mare that's single, that's his problem." Tia started laughing followed by Luna. Lance landed on a roof in Ponyville. He sweatmarked as he saw the roads filled with mares. "Holy shit." He looked around. Nothing but mares. "Damn where's the stallions in here? Alright, how am I going to get home without mares noticing me?" He thought to himself. "Lance?" Lance looked up at a cloud above him only to see a blushing Rainbowdash. "Got damn it." The white dragon half closed his eyes as he was already being pushed onto his back. "Well I'm just gonna have to wing it." He fell backwards off the building landing at the base of it. "Is that Lance?" Mares already started talking and walking toward him. "He's mine!" Rarity was knocking ponies out of her way heading toward him. "OH SHIT!" Lance flew down the road at a fast speed with Rainbowdash, Rarity and other mares not far behind. "Shit shit shit shit shit!" His eyes darted from right to left searching for his house. Lance finally found it and quickly headed in turning his house invisible as the mares flew and walked by looking around slowly. The white dragon sighed as they left his house and opened his eyes widening as dinner plates. "How the hell did you get in here?" He was looking at a white pony with a messy blue mane and tail...Vinyl Scratch. She jumped face first into the wall knocking herself out. Lance sighed as he picked her up and laid down setting Vinyl down on his chest as he hugged her waiting for her to awaken. After a few minutes of silence, she woke up with a groan. "I guess it was just a dream." She looked around to find herself in Lance's bedroom with an indent of her body on the wall. "Heh. Something must've scared me straight into the wall." she giggled. "Now who could that've been?" Lance spoke up still under the white pony. The dj's expression was of fear now. She quickly wriggled out of Lance's grasp. "How did you find me?" She looked at him now standing on the floor. "This is my house. How could I not find you?" He got up and had his house turn visible again. Lance chuckled before his eyes widened as he felt himself pushed onto his bed. "Vinyl?" He looked at her. "Yeah?" The dj had a seductive look on her face. "What the hell are you doing?" Lance tried to get up but was quickly pushed back down. "Isn't it obvious?" She started rubbing his crotch and he quickly got an erection. Lance moaned as Vinyl jacked him off. A few minutes later, she slowly took his length into her mouth. Once she had his dick deep throated, she bobbed her head up and down. She started off slow but quickly sped up to top speed. Lance was nowhere near close to his orgasm. He pulled out of her mouth and repositioned himself behind her. She giggled and wiggled her ass in front of him. Lance's penis throbbed hard begging for her pussy. Lance quickly thrusted inside her, his toungue sticking out as he smiled that goofy smile you get when you get seducted by a girl. Vinyl was drooling as she was pounded in her tight flower. "Oh yeah." She moaned. "When did you get so warm beneath those scales?" Her red eyes looked into his teal eyes. "Well I'm a dragon and I'm cold blooded. So I guess I had it when I was born." He chuckled and kept thrusting. Vinyl giggled and enjoyed her moment knowing it wouldn't last as long as she wanted since she was starting to get close to her orgasm. "Don't hold back on me now." Lance smiled. "Ah-a-alright." Vinyl said and she cried out, her whole body spasming as her folds closed tightly around Lance's cock and she released her warm juices. Lance wasn't done yet. He pulled out of her pussy and slowly entered her asshole earning a gasp of pleasure from Vinyl. "Oh yeah keep going!" She stuck her toungue out as she felt her stomach growl. "What's this?" Lance asked as he kept going inside her until he was inside her fully. Vinyl gasped as she felt a few pops on Lance's cock before blushing madly. "Well well well. Looks like we got a farter here." Lance chuckled and kept going at her ass. Vinyl giggled as she farted all the while. Lance started panting. "Vinyl, inside or out?" He asked. "Out cuz if you cum inside my ass, I'm going to shit myself." she blushed again. "Okay then." Lance thrusted a few more times before pulling out and had his orgasm. He groaned as he shot on her ass and back. Lance and Vinyl fell to their sides on the bed smiling as they looked into each other's eyes. After a few minutes of staring, Vinyl's eyes widened as she got up quickly. "Where's your bathroom?" She was bouncing up and down quickly. "There." Lance pointed to the bathroom as Vinyl raced in not having enough time to shut the door. She lifted the seat on the toilet and sat down sighing as she released a loud wet fart from her ass. Lance walked in the bathroom after her and heard her fart. He chuckled as she blushed madly. "Get outta here!" She held her stomach. "I gotta shower." Lance turned the water on and waited for it to get hot as Vinyl sharted her ass out. Lance was blushing also as he started getting an erection again. "Got damn it." He looked down at his throbbing dick causing Vinyl to look. "You think this is sexy?" She looked at his face farting again. "Well it's going to cause me to jerk off. What do you think?" He held his cock in his hand. Vinyl blushed again before sharting so hard, she fell off the toilet giving Lance a good look of her brown stained ass. "Oh sweet Celestia." He started drooling slightly. Vinyl quickly got back on her "Throne" and continued her business. "Go ahead." She half closed her eyes. "Thanks!" He got in the shower and quickly started jerking off. Five minutes passed of sharting and jerking off. Vinyl groaned as she let out one last long wet fart letting loose the last of her shit. This was all Lance needed to have his orgasm. "Oh geez we should totally do this more often." He chuckled as he cleaned himself and dried off coming out of the shower. "I never should've had those magma beans." Vinyl sighed happily. Lance's eyes widened. "Magma beans? Those are for dragons only."