I woke up to my alarm going off. Katelyn is leaving in an hour to go to Florida with Danny. I threw on a pair of white shorts and my Warped Tour shirt and

walked out to the kitchen. Kate's bags were by the door and she was getting some last minute stuff together. "Hey girl. You ready to leave?" Kate looked up at

me and gave me a hug. "Are you sure that you are going to be okay? I don't have to go." I gave Kate this look like you are going. Danny came through the door

and gave me a hug and Kate a kiss. "You ready to go? It's a long trip down." Kate looked back at me and I smacked her on the back of the head. "Go, you

deserve it. Call me when you land, okay?" Kate and Danny gave me one last hug and I closed the door behind me. I have no idea what to do with myself. I

changed into some washed out jean shorts and my pink and purple plaid shirt. I straightened my hair and put on some make up. I put on my brown cowboy

boots. I guess I will go work out Beemers for a bit. I found the keys to John's truck and hopped in. I rolled down the windows and turned up the radio. I took all

the back roads to the barn. When I got there, Jake was in the barn, cleaning some tack. I gave him a hug and a kiss on his cheek. "Riding today?" Jake asked

me. I shook my head no. "Just going to work him out and spend some bonding time with him." Jake went back to cleaning and I grabbed Beemers halter. I took

him out to the ring and lunged him. He looked so good, I know that dad wound be proud. I tied the other end of the lead to the other side of the halter. I found

a part of the fence that I could use to get up on him. I got up and it felt good. We trotted around the ring for a bit, then I just walked him. We stopped in the

middle of the ring, and I just looked around. The sun was starting to set a little, the weather was perfect. I missed this. I know my dad does. I jumped down

and looked at Beemers. He put his nose on my shoulder. Beemers is right, I need to see my dad, I mean our dad. I took Beemers back to the barn and put him

in his stall. Jake must of left for the day. I fed him and gave him a mint. I looked at my phone and it was only 3. I ran to the truck and hopped in. I drove all the

way to Johns Hopkins. I got on the elevator and pressed the fourth floor. When I got off, my heat started to race. I don't know if this is a good idea or not. I

took a glance by his room, and the nurse was in there. I walked past and waited until the nurse left. I took another glance in, and no one was in there. I took a

deep breath and walked in. I saw my dad, he was laying in the bed, watching a horse race. He looked up and his jaw drop. "Hi dad. It's me, Amanda." His eyes

started to water. He held out his hand and I took it. "Gumbus, I missed you so much." I started to cry. I gave him a hug and we cried together. I looked up at

him and he wiped my tears. "I've waited so long to see you. I really didn't want to see you like this." I stood up and sat in the chair. "Do you know why you are

here?" He shook his head yes. "After I kicked you out, I drowned myself in alcohol. I drove you away, including your sister. Even though your sisters a bitch, she

took over everything after you left. She took everything, including the house, Beemers, everything." I took out my phone and showed him a picture of Beemers.

"Mr. Bob, Elizabeth, and Jake saved Beemers from the sale. They bought Beemers and they are taking care of him for me. I rode him today." My dad shed a lot

of tears, and so did I. "I went so far in, that I couldn't save myself, and here I am." I took my dad's hand. "You know, I have so much hatred for you, I really do.

And I still do. I can never forgive you, for what you did to me and my mother. Because of you, aunt Mari and uncle Jerry took me in, gave me a new car, put me

through college, and I worked my ass off. I am starting my new teaching job at Western this coming school year. Right now, I work at Security Auto Body and I

share a loft with Katelyn. I just started talking to Zach and Ryan again, and they changed for the better. As for you, you didn't. I'm sorry to say, but you deserve

being in that bed right now." I walked away ans turned back. "I always hoped, that you would come back for me, but you never did. I gave up on that dream

years ago. I love you dad. Always have and always will." I walked out of the room, crying. I walked back to the truck and balled my eyes out. I cannot believe

this happened. I don't get it, at all. I wiped my face and headed back to the house. When I walked in, the place was empty, which I really didn't want. I closed

and locked the door behind me, and walked to the fridge, grabbed a 6 pack, and went to my bathroom. I started to run a bath and I turned on the radio. Drink

a Beer by Luke Bryan was playing. I sat by the window and thought about my mom and drank two beers. If she was here, I would like to drink a beer with her.

I went to the bath and lit some candles. I got in and I laid here, just relaxing. It felt so good on my legs and my back. I am really sore from riding today, but it

was nice. I heard my phone and it was an email. I looked at it, and it's from Gerrin. My heart skipped a beat for a moment. I opened and this is what it read:

"Dear Amanda, I am so sorry that I haven't written in such a long time. Things have been crazy over here. I got your last email, and I'm happy that you moved

into your new place. Anyways, I wanted to let you know that I am coming home Wednesday , for good. And I would like to see you at BWI at seven. I want to

see you so bad, I miss you. See you then. Love, Gerrin." I cannot believe he is coming home. I put my phone down and duck my head under the water. This

cannot be a dream. I want him home, but what if I fall in love with him again? That cannot happen. I finished the rest of the beers and dried off. I put on a pair

of sweatpants and my Hooters tank top. I set my alarm for tomorrow and laid down. This seriously cannot be happening.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm. It was 6:15. I dragged myself over to my closet. I shouldn't of had those beers last night. I looked and I threw on a pair of

black shorts, white tank top, white sheer short sleeve button down, and my wedged heels. I threw my hair up into a bun and put on some make-up, even

though I don't feel like it. I made some coffee and dragged myself to the parking lot. I look in my bag, looking for my keys, and I have Kate's keys to her

Charger. I guess she wouldn't mind me taking it to work today. I get all the way over there and drag my ass to the front. I sat my purse on the floor and

chugged my coffee. I just realized that I don't have my cigarettes either. Today is just not my day. I felt someone kiss my head, and it was John. Great, just who

I want to see. He gives me another kiss on my cheek. "Well damn girl, did you party last night?" I gave him a glare and turned around to the computer. John

came around my desk and looked at me. "How about a date, Wednesday night?" Great, now he wants to go out, when I'm supposed to meet Gerrin. "Great,

sounds awesome." He squeezes my hand and goes to the back. I laid my head down on the desk. I do not want to think today, at all. I heard something fall on

my desk, and it was a pack of cigarettes. Chelsea was standing there. "Come on girl, come outside with me." I stepped outside and lit one up. "You either went

out and got wasted, or you sat at home and drank a whole 6-pack by yourself. I'm going with the second one. What's going on?" I took a breath. "Well Gerrin

sent me an email last night, saying that he's coming home Wednesday, but John just asked me out on Wednesday." Chelsea gave me a look and finished her

cigarette. "Girl, choose what your heart says, if you can't decide right now, wait till Wednesday." She was right. My heart has to tell me what's right. I go back

inside, and I can already tell that this is going to be a long day.

It's about ten in the morning, and Mary comes running out. "Amanda, we have a huge problem." I looked at her, and everyone came running out. "What's the

problem Mary?" asked Chelsea. Mary took a deep breath in. "Henry is in the hospital. We need another mechanic because Joe and John can't do it on their own.

I need someone to do towing too." Chelsea and Jen looked at me. Mary looked at me and her face got wide. "Oh no, not happening!" They all got on their

knees. How the hell could I get myself into this. "Fine, but I get to wear what I want. Give me the keys to the tow truck and I will take care of it." I went into

the bathroom and changed into a white tank top, jean shorts and my black converses. I threw my hair up in a loose bun and went to the back. The guys looked

up and their jaws drop. "Well, someone is joining our team now, isn't she?" I shake my head and run over to the truck. My pick up is in Pikesville. I drive over

and I see a Camaro, with it's hazards on. I pull up in front of it. I get out, and I see a familiar face. It's Nygel! I run over to him and give him a hug. "Mandy!

God, how many years has it been? Like four. How are you?" I let go and start to hook up his car to the back of the truck. "Well, I moved back to the city with

Katelyn, I work at Security Auto Body, but I don't usually do this. How are you? How's life been treating ya?" He smiled. "Pretty good, I'm actually a P.E. Teacher

now and a football coach, actually at Western." My eyes lit up. "I'm going to be teaching at Western too as the new U.S. History teacher." He smiled and gave

me another hug. I took his phone and put my number in it. "Do you need a ride anywhere?" He shook his head no and I gave him another hug. "Call me later, I

have the place to myself." He smiled and started walking. I got into the truck. I looked at the paper and I have to take it to NEC yard. Great, just where I

wanted to go. I pull up to the office and I heard someone talking. It was Nick. "Well, look who it is, my cousin Amanda. How the hell are you?" I looked down

and took a deep breath. "I'm good Nick. I need you to sign this paper work for me." He looks at it and laughs. "Wow, they were right. Your definitely a Crockett,

that's for damn sure." He signed it. "I'll see you around cousin." I smirked at him. "If you destroy that car, I will personally come here and kick your ass." I

turned around and walked out. I drove back to the shop and jumped out. I automatically started working on some cars. I felt someone touch my shoulders, it

was Joe. "Hey, got a sec?" I stopped what I was doing and he handed me a bottle of water. We leaned against the car. "So Chelsea told me what's going on."

I sighed. I knew that she couldn't keep her mouth shut. "John is a great guy, and I know that you have a connection with him because of the whole baby thing,

but what is your heart really saying is the question." That is a good question. "I don't really know Joe, I've been hurt so much, that I'm tired of it. I care about

John a lot, I really do, but I kinda see him as a big brother, sort of. It's confusing." Joe put his hand on my shoulder. "You will do the right thing, I believe in

you." He patted my back and continued to work. I looked at John and sighed. I guess I'll just go back to work.

The end of the day came and I have never been so happy in my life. I clean up and go to the break room to get my bag, when I hear a familiar voice. I creep

around the corner, and I see my aunt Tina. My eyes light up and my smile gets wider. She turns around and her eyes light up too. I give her a huge hug.

"Amanda! Mary said that you were working here now, I have been trying to get in touch with you. Everyone wants to see you. How have you been?" I smile at

her. "I have been pretty good, just moved into my new place with my best friend and I played mechanic today." I rubbed the grease on my shorts. "Listen, so

the family is getting together tonight for some drinks, I know everyone wants you to come, since you can legally drink now. Here's the address and we are

meeting at 7:30." Great, just what I want to do on my Monday night. "Sure, I will be there. Can't wait to see everyone." I give her another hug and walk out. I

got into Kate's Charger and headed home. When I got home, my phone was going off, and it was Ryan calling. "Hey bro, what's going on?" I heard him sigh.

"Are you getting dragged out tonight with the family? Zach got out of it because he's going to Sabrinas' families house. So please tell me you are going?" I

started laughing. "Sadly, I am. I ran into aunt Tina at the shop and she invited, so plan on drinking tonight, because it is going to be interesting." I heard Ryan

laugh on the other end. " What are you wearing, so I don't look like white trash." I bust out laughing on the floor. "Ryan, you have better taste than your

brother, so a pair of dark jeans and a nice button down shirt, with either flip flops or a nice pair of vans will be nice. I will see you there." I hung up the phone

and went to my closet. Ryan was right, I don't want to look like white trash. I pull out my black pencil skirt, turquoise shirt with a little ruffle on it with a v-neck,

and a pair of black wedges. I flat ironed my hair and pulled half of it back. I did my make up very nude with a lot of sparkle. I went out to the parking lot and

looked at the cars I could take: John's ford F-250, my Rabbit, Kate's Charger, or Kate's Jeep. I an defiantly taking Kate's Charger. I roll down all the windows,

put the address into the GPS, and pump up the bass. I cruised down the highway, since it's an under cover cop car.

When I pull up, Ryan was outside waiting for me. He was wearing exactly what I told him to wear. He was standing with my cousins Michael, Nick, and Jimmy. I

parked out front, since it is a cop car. When I got out, their jaws practically dropped to the ground. They all gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek. "Wow

Amanda, you are so grown up!" said Jimmy. "I am so surprised that you can clean up from the yard. You look very nice." said Nick. "Yea, you look just like your

sister." said Michael. I rolled my eyes and Ryan followed me inside. I needed a drink like as soon as possible. Ryan got me and him a beer and me and him sat

at the bar, just waiting for everyone else, then we saw the rest of the family. There was: aunt Tina, aunt Donna, aunt Sue, uncle Butch, Stephanie, Shanie,

Mike, Christie, and my damn sister Lisa, just who I wanted to see. I chugged half my beer and started hugging people. Everyone was so happy to see me, well,

except my sister. I just ignored her. Aunt Sue, Donna, Tina, and Christie pulled me to the bar and stared talking to me. "So, tell us everything about being here,

how's it been!" asks aunt Sue. "Yea, I wanna know everything!" yells aunt Donna. I take a sip of my beer and everyone is like stunned. "Well everything is

great. I live with my best friend and it has been awesome. The job is great, and everyone is so nice, and I work with one of my ex boyfriends. I ran into a friend

from high school, started riding again, and everything is just going great right now." We all take a sip of our drinks. "How's the love life? I heard from Chelsea

that it's been tricky." says Christie. "Well, I gave my ex, John, another chance, and he has proved himself to be great, but the connection just isn't there like I

thought it would be. I don't know, it's tricky." I look over to my sister, talking to Shanie and I get up to go to the bathroom and she looks at me. I wait inside

the bathroom. I know the bitch is going to come in here and say something smart. And damn, if I wasn't right. I looked dead at her. "Go ahead, say what you

wanna say before we start a fist fight in here." She sighs and leans against the wall. "I am sorry." Huh? Did I just hear that correctly? I looked at her funny.

"Yes, I just said that, I am sorry. I am sorry for all the horrible things I said to you and did to you, and I am sorry for trying to sell Beemers. It wasn't right at all

for me to do and I shouldn't of did it." I looked at her and I couldn't say anything. "You are truly a bitch, and you did some horrible things to me and said things

that can never be taken back and I can never forgive you, but I still love you. As for Beemers, he's fine. He's healthy and safe. I just wish that you didn't sell

him. I'm going back with everyone else. I'll talk to you later." I storm out the bathroom and head back to the bar with Ryan. I order a shot of Jack and slammed

it down. "So I am assuming that you talked to your sister." I shook my head yes and drank the rest of my beer. I got up and the girls started following me and

continued following me around, asking more questions and for my number and it was getting super annoying, until Lisa opened her big ass mouth. "So, who

are you seeing now?" All their heads turned and looked at me with wide eyes. I started to blush bright red and I started to stutter. "Well, umm there's a guy

named-" right before I said John's name, Ryan swooped in and saved me. "Well I think it's time for us to go home, isn't it Amanda. Good night guys, we will talk

to you later!" Ryan grabbed my bag and we ran out the door to our cars. He followed me to my apartment, to make sure that I was okay. "You saved my ass

back there Ryan. I don't know what I would of did if you didn't swoop in and save me." Ryan smiled and sat down on the kitchen counter. "There's something

bothering you, I can tell by the look on your face." I sighed and handed him a beer. "Well, I got a email from Gerrin, saying that I am coming home from Iraq on

Wednesday and he wants me to meet him at BWI. But., John wants me to go out on a date with him Wednesday night too. I don't know what to do." Ryan

takes a drink of his beer. "Well, do you have a connection with John?" I sigh again. "Don't freak out, but we had sex, and I did not have a connection with him

at all. Like I love him as a best friend, but I don't see him as my boyfriend, but I don't have the heart to tell him that." Ryan wrapped his arm around my waist to

give me a hug. "Amanda, listen to what your heart tells you, and follow it. It will tell you the right thing to do." Ryan is right, I have to follow my heart. Ryan

jumped off the counter and stared at me. "Well I think that you should not be alone tonight, so I think I should crash here with you and we could have a

brother, sister sleepover to piss Zach off. How does that sound?" He smiles at me and I smile at him back. I go into my room and find a pair of his basketball

shorts and a hoodie and I let him use my shower and I use Kate's shower. I make us some pizza and some snacks and we play video games pretty much till

midnight. It was a super fun night, just hanging out with Ryan, that's what I needed. I set my alarm for six, knowing that I was going to be doing mechanic

work tomorrow, so I don't have to get super pretty. I told Ryan that I could sleep in Kate's bed, but he insisted that he wanted to cuddle in mine, so we did,

and I really enjoyed it. It was like having a teddy bear with me all warm and snuggling up to me.