Chapter Six: Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge

Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy

His plan was quite simple. He had everything figured out. He was going to get back at Jillian for taking his Brian away.

Stewie sat in his room all that day, a few weeks after Brian and Jillian got back together, planning plots that would most-likely turn out horrible, or not even be able to start, but inspiration sparked when he overheard Peter and Lois talking.

"I'm going to the Clam, Lois." called Peter, he was at the bottom of the steps. Stewie guessed Lois was in the kitchen. Then he heard her voice.

"Try not to stay out too long tonight, Peter." she said. "I want my big, handsome husband back before I go to bed." She kissed him, it was loud.

A plan was unfolding in Stewie's mind. He walked down the steps carefully and watched them, then decided for his plan to work to act like a noraml baby would.

"No, uh...daddy no go." he said, unsure of exactly what he was saying.

"Aww, Peter," cooed Lois, picking Stewie up. "Stewie doesn't want his daddy to leave."

Peter smiled and kissed the top of Stewie's head, then he rubbed the place where he kissed. "It's alright, little buddy, daddy'll be home soon." And with that, Peter left, and Stewie grinned to his own mischievious plot and rubbed his hands together evily, Lois still holding him.

"Yes," he said, darkly. "My plan is falling into place."

Later that night, Stewie had set out Peter's old Halloween constume when he was Britney Spears, and laid it out on the couch.

"This is going to be perfect!" said Stewie laughing.

While waiting for Peter to come home, and for Brian who shouldn't be long behind, Stewie decided to write another letter.

"Dear Brian.

I'm sorry I had to result to this today, but it's what I had to do. That blonde bimbo took you away from me, and now I'm getting you back. Of course I want you to be happy, but I want you to be happy with me..not Jillian. I'm probably being selfish, and at this point I don't care. You've been in the dark for so long, maybe after you've seen these letters, you understand.

Brian, understand that I love you very much, but I need for you to feel the same. Won't you feel the same?

Until then, I'll have to make you. I don't care if I'm caught on your rebound, but after Jillian dumps you, I'm here for you.

-Stewie"

He print the letter out, and ran upstairs to collect it from Meg's room. She was asleep with the i-pod in her ears, so she couldn't hear since it was on full blast. Stewie mumbled about blowing her ear drum out, then laughed a little, and left to place the letter with the rest of the pile.

While Stewie was in his room, he heard the door creak open, and ran to the steps, almost falling down. Peter was walking in, all according to plan. Stewie rushed down the steps, having Peter almost trip over him. Stewie hid behind the couch and put his hand to the side of his face to make his voice echo.

"Fat Man...uh, I mean, Peter! Peeeeeeter! Come over to the couch!" called Stewie, trying to make his voice sound eerie.

"Huh, who's there?" asked Peter, looking around with a drunk looked glazed in his eyes.

"It's me, Peter," said Stewie, still maintaining the somewhat eerie voice. "Britney."

Peter turned to the couch to see the hold Halloween costume. He started laughing instantly. "Hey, it's my Britney Spears costume." And as Stewie planned, Peter put it on.

He wasn't very flattering in the tiny outfit, actually it was quite disturbing, but it was part of Stewie's plan. Pater had to look like a girl for the plan to work. Actually, now that I think about it. Jillian probably wouldn't notice the difference if he wasn't dressed up, Stewie thought to himself.

And the doorknob twisted and turned. The door opened and in stepped Brian.

Perfect! Stewie crawled to the other side of th couch to feul the fire. "Doesn't Brian look sexy?" he whispered to Peter in the voice he used for the costume.

Pater, being the idiot he was, was easliy brainwashed by the words of "the Britney Costume".

"My, Brian, don't you look sexy tonight." said Peter in a high-pitched girly voice, which was slurred with his drunkeness.

"Peter, what the hell?" Brian was obviously taken back at those words, but also very disturbed.

"Kiss him!" Stewie sharply whispered.

And Peter instantly throw himself at Brian, who quickly dodged with fast reflexes, yelling about the absurdity of this situation.

"Aww come on, Brian. Britney doesn't bite!" giggled Peter. "Unless you want her to!"

"Peter, this is ridiculous!" shouted Brian.

Somehow, no one awoke during these happenings, and Brian didn't notice Stewie take his cell phone and call Jillian, asking her to come over as quick as she possibly could.

And soon, there was knocking at the door.

"Kiss him!" Stewie called out.

And Peter did. He pinned Brian down, and kissed him, just in time for Stewie to open the door and let Jillian in and see the scene. Instantly, her eyes watered. They had only been back together for a few weeks, and Brian was cheating on her (so it seemed).

"Brian!" she cried, and ran out of the house and back in her car. She had ran all the way over in just her pajamas just too see what was wrong with her Brian, only to find this scene.

Brian sturggled free from Peter somehow, and ran after her. "Jillian!" he called out and tried chasing her car, but she was already gone. "JILLIAN!" His voice was cracking.

Peter broke out of his trance and looked down at himself. "Hey look, my Britney Spears costume." And he ventured up the stairs to change, and go to bed.

Stewie looked out the door to see Brian crouched outside on the walkway, shuttering. Stewie walked over and put an arm around him.

"Come in the house, Brian." he said. "It's awful chilly out."

"No," said Brian, standing and wriggling away from Stewie. "I lost her again. I'm going for a walk." And he went down the walkway, and down the street, and finally out of sight.

Stewie wanted to wait outside for Brian, but he had to go in, his teeth were chattering. He felt accomplished in ways, and went up to bed, with a smile on his face.