Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
*** Chapter 6 – Breaking ***
"So, tomorrow…" Bella hesitantly broke the silence in the kitchen, looking over to where Jasper where was leaning back in one of the chairs at the table, long legs stretched out, slivers of tan skin showing through the various rips and tears in the denim fabric.
Jasper placed a hand on the page he had been reading and looked up to meet her timid gaze.
Bella continued, "Tomorrow we're having a baby shower for Rosalie."
Jasper smirked at his roommate, "Well I figured you weren't making a cake that large just for me. Not to mention, little yellow ducks and bath-time bubbles isn't exactly a decorating choice I would have gone with, if I was honest."
Rolling her eyes, Bella snapped back, "You would have tried eating every bite of this cake without any second thoughts to the décor if I gave you the chance."
"I don't know…"
Bella swiped a finger through an almost empty bowl of frosting that she had used to decorate the cake with and approached the doubting male. Holding her finger out to him, she offered, "Go ahead, taste it."
Jasper felt heat rise to his cheeks as he stared at Bella's offering, and as she took in the intense stare in his eyes, she started to shift nervously. He slowly leaned forward, lightly grabbing her wrist and pulled her hand to his mouth, letting his tongue slide along tip of her finger, tasting the mix of butter and sugar and vanilla. Bella's eyelids fluttered at the contact, and she chastised herself for not realizing that her innocent gesture at teasing him could be twisted into something that tugged at desire she hadn't experienced in a long time.
He moaned at the flavor, "Damn, Bella, that is delicious."
Feeling her cheeks flame red, Bella turned quickly from him and busied herself with running cold water over her hand and wrist, hoping maybe it would bring the shock to her system she needed to stop her head from spinning.
"You should probably hide the cake, now that I know just how good it is," he challenged.
Snorting, she turned towards him, "As if I'm not aware of your sugar fiend tendencies."
Moving towards the microwave, she removed a plate of 6 cupcakes. She took them over to her cake stand where Rosalie's adorable confectionary masterpiece was awaiting just one or two more finishing touches. Bella took the piping bag and quickly swirled frosting onto the top of the cupcakes with a twist of her wrist. She placed the plate of treats in front of Jasper, and he looked up at her in askance.
"They're yours. Go on, knock yourself out."
Ripping the wrapper off of the vanilla cake, Jasper immediately sank his teeth into one, devouring the thing in three bites. He jumped up from his seat and grabbed a glass from the cabinet before filling it up with ice-cold milk. Stopping by Bella's decorating station, he placed a kiss on her cheek.
"You spoil me."
Wanting nothing more than to hold onto the brief touch of his lips to her skin, Bella looked over at him and began to snicker.
"You've got a little…"
Jasper crossed his eyes and looked down to see what she was staring at. His crazed features only made her laugh harder, and she took his chin in her hands, using her dish towel to wipe the smidge of frosting off the tip of his nose that he was unable to see.
"Try to stick with eating them and not wearing them."
"I can't help it, all that sugar makes me a little crazy, sort of like a feeding frenzy."
"Well, let's hope your sugar-addicted sister can control herself a little better tomorrow or else, we might have quite the mess on our hands."
Jasper sat back down at the table and took a big gulp of his milk before asking, "So, a baby shower? Is she close to having the baby?"
"She has less than a month, so technically the baby could arrive any day now. It's not a big, formal shower. More like a few of us getting together and having lunch, like a last girl's day out before Rose becomes a mom."
"Mom…my sister's going to be a mom," Jasper said the words a little wistfully.
Inside his heart was a mixture of pride for this new development in his sister's life, and an ache for the fact that he'd been so absent.
Emmett and Rosalie had married before Jasper had jumped ship, and he had been a groomsman at the ceremony. She had squealed and thrown confetti on his head when he had graduated high school, and he had swung her around and around until she demanded her put her down when it was her time to accept the diploma. They'd been there for all the major celebrations in each other's lives, until…..
Jasper could still remember Rosalie pleading for him to stay as he walked out of their home. How she held onto Emmett's shirt, hands twisted in the fabric, tears streaming down her cheeks, how her face twisted in defeat as her pleas fell on deaf ears. He had caused her such pain. The girl who'd baked him cookies on his birthday after their mother had died, the teenager who begged him to teach her to drive, the young woman who'd asked him for his opinion of Emmett when they'd started dating, and had woken him up in the middle of the night to show him her engagement ring.
So much life shared, so much love broken and discarded by his selfish actions.
Bella watched Jasper pick at the discarded wrapper, shredding the paper into a little pile of waxed parchment and crumbs, the storm rolling in with his thoughts, clouding his eyes in shades of grey, the sea of his emotions a choppy mess. Dangerous waters ahead.
She tried to steer them both clear from the coming rain.
"So, Esme is coming to pick me up tomorrow, would you like use of the truck?"
"Hmm?"
"I was trying to explain that I don't need my vehicle tomorrow, so maybe you'd like to get out? Do something but sit in my garage, locked away with your books?"
"Where would I go?"
Bella shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, Jaz, this is the place where you grew
up. Isn't there anywhere you'd like to revisit, maybe an errand you need to run, hell, just take the Beast for a drive. Put on some tunes and let the wind run through your hair."
"Yeah, I guess."
Bella walked over to her purse. Retrieving the keys from the depths of her bag of everything, she threw them Jasper's direction without warning and he still plucked them from the air with ease.
"Could you fill up the gas tank before bringing him home?"
"Are you using me to do your dirty work?"
With an arched brow, Bella countered, "Do you want to keep the rest of those cupcakes?"
"Yes, m'am. I will do as you please." He mock bowed as he shoved another cake into his mouth.
Five women sat chatting on the porch of a little café downtown in the afternoon sun. The table in front of them was littered with brightly colored tissue and bows, a yellow blanket with a cheery teddy bear embroidered on one corner had refused to be contained in the confines of a gift box, but smiled sweetly at the woman as they oohed and aahed as one tiny outfit after another was presented.
Having cut the cake into slices, Bella resumed her position seated to the right of her best friend and looked over the see the woman had balanced the extra large slab of dessert on her belly. Scraping some icing off the edge of her plate, Rosalie looked up to see Bella watch her as she licked the utensil clean. Rolling her eyes at the pregnant woman, Bella laughed while Rose stopped eating and asked, "What?"
Bella waved away her question, "Don't let me interrupt you."
Rose huffed before returning to her cake.
It was a beautiful day, full of laughter and memories, both old and new. Esme had taken the time to ask Alex if he had any pictures of Rose when she was a baby and the two had located the perfect picture of an infant Rose tucked into her mother's side as the young mother napped with her child. She had had the picture framed, and tissues had been passed around to all the women at the table, as Rose was an emotional mess over the gift.
"Hey, isn't that Rosalie's brother?"
Bella had been collecting everyone's empty plates and forks when she felt their friend Angela tug at her shirt. Bella followed the direction of Angela's eyes and saw a familiar mess of curls making its way towards their location.
"Yeah, it is."
Rose had overheard the exchange and looked over as well, "Jasper! Jasper! Over here!"
Lost in his thoughts, Jasper hadn't noticed the group. He stopped abruptly and Bella could see the look of panic cross his face. He was caught in the open air with no where to hide.
"Hey, Rosalie," he awkwardly began, not making any further movement towards the women.
"Would you like some cake? We have plenty and we can fit another chair at the table," his sister suggested hopefully.
Jamming his hands into his pockets, he replied, "No, thanks. I've got to get going actually."
Bella watched the exchange and realized that while she had thought she had calmed the storm the day before, it had simply fallen dormant waiting for the right moment to return. Now, it crashed in treacherous waves across Jasper's face, tearing and pulling at him. He turned quickly and went back in the direction from whence he had came.
Bella leaned over and placed a kiss on Rosalie's cheek, "Rose, sweetie, hang in there. He's having a rough time of it. I think I need to follow him. I'll call you later, yeah?"
Rosalie rubbed soothing circles on her belly, "Sure, sure, Bella."
Bella grabbed her bag and raced down the sidewalk.
Finding that he'd parked her truck on the main road downtown, Bella saw Jasper leaning his head against the side of the vehicle, hands still tucked into his pockets while he scuffed the toe of his shoe at the pavement. Every muscle in his arm was straining taut under his skin and his jaw was a hard line of tension.
Deciding that she'd push him a little further, she approached his side and demanded in a no nonsense tone, "Give me the keys and get in."
He stood up and started to walk away, "Bella, I'm in no mood to be around anyone right now."
Gritting her teeth in frustration, she pushed past him and blocked his path, "Give me the keys and get in the truck. Now."
Blue eyes warred with brown, but Bella had decided that she wasn't backing down this time. She wasn't granting him space to fester further, no, now was the time to lance the wound, to feel some of the pain. His frame leaned forward and she could feel the cooler air that was created by his shadow.
"Fine." His voice was like an ice pick driving into her veins, but she offered her hand and closed fingers around the metal, not breaking away from his hardened stare.
Watching him climb into the truck and wincing slightly at the sound of the heavy metal slamming into place, she sighed and got in the driver's seat.
Heading away from town, Bella covered the distance towards the shore line and took a barely existing path into the tall grass. Jasper held his frame in stasis even as the truck rocked and dipped as it traversed the uneven ground and Bella put her foot to the breaks as she approached the edge of a cliff.
She rolled down her window and threw her keys down onto the bench seat before climbing out.
She approached the edge and took a deep breath in, letting the salt in the air slide down her throat and fill her lungs. A breeze played with the strands of her hair and pushed them across her face to tickle her nose until she grabbed an elastic out of her pocket and bound it into submission. No sound could be heard from the truck once the engine had settled, save for the occasional rattle of a rusty part cooling down.
Looking over her shoulder, she could see Jasper looking blankly out the window like a sullen teenager that had been dragged from his room. Rolling her eyes, she approached his side of the vehicle and opened the door. He glanced out of the corner of his eyes with her and she moved her head to say, "Out." He glared his displeasure and slid from the bench. Letting him pass, Bella closed the door to the truck behind him.
He watched the ocean waves crash in and push outward from the base of the cliff, arms crossed, stubborn.
Bella perused the ground until she found what she was looking for. Picking up a hefty rock that took two hands she brought it to Jasper and offered it up to the man who was acting as if he couldn't see her. Huffing, she blew bangs out of her eyes that she couldn't reach.
He looked at her expression and caved.
"What am I supposed to do with that?"
"Throw it."
"Where?"
"Out there," She pointed with her head.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
He took the rock from her hands, feeling that it wasn't heavy but still bared weight and looked out across the water. Bella had already turned in search of another.
He threw it outwards and watched the arc of descent until it broke the surface of blue. Bella came up beside him and placed three more rocks at his feet, before leaving him to gather more. He watched her bend to pick up a rather large rock that took a little effort and she raised an eyebrow when she caught his stare.
"Throw."
Rolling his eyes, he picked up a smaller rock and threw it like he was skipping stones across a creek.
"Not like that," Bella explained. She picked up a rock and brought her arm all the way back before launching it forward with a scream.
Jasper jumped at the sound and looked over at her to see if she was okay, but she merely picked up another and did it again. She was raw emotion let loose. In her mind's eye, his presence wasn't even registering, she just pushed everything out with each throw. Placing hands on her hips, she looked over at him.
"I get you have stuff fighting inside you. I've been there, as it claws away at your insides, waiting for you to catch your breath only to tear you apart a little bit more," Bella looked out over the water, "You think you can control it, or you can at least learn to live with it. But, you can't….Jasper, you just can't. It will destroy you. So, throw it away. Let some of it go."
Bending down to pick up a larger rock, she handed it to him. He looked at her honest, caring eyes and saw she meant every word she had spoken, she was trying to hand him the key to unlocking some of the chains that he dragged around behind him.
Taking the course granite chunk from her, he took both hands and forced the boulder away with every ounce of tension he had stored in the fibers of his muscles. A rough guttural sound followed the movement. He erased Bella from the scenery and just started throwing, wild movement that caused his heart to race and his breath to scrape down his throat. Sweat formed, causing the back of his shirt to cling to his shoulders.
"Damn it!"
Throw. Scream. Anger. Pain. Force. Release. Repeat.
"What was I thinking?"
The rock pile she had formed disappeared and his eyes raked the ground hungrily looking for another object, picking up sticks and other jagged pieces of stone that he found in the near vicinity.
Bella had climbed onto the hood of the truck and sat silently, watching his emotions unravel, hearing his pain spill out into the air. She fought the urge to comfort, but let him fall apart, energy bleeding out until he was an exhausted panting mess. His shoulders rose and fell in a quick staccato as he watched the sun start to sink beneath the horizon.
Clasping her hands together, she whispered, "Jasper…"
Wild blue orbs, almost electric flashed her direction as he turned and looked at her before crossing the distance between the two.
Bella felt rough, ragged palms cup the sides of her face before his lips crashed down on hers. She placed her palms on his chest and whimpered when the edge of his teeth nipped at her lips until they parted granting his tongue entrance to her mouth. He slid into her space, fitting between her legs and she moved to wrap her arms around him.
He was empty looking to be filled, and she was overflowing with need that she poured into him. He pulled back to tease her mouth, and she pushed forward chasing after his searing kiss.
Take...taking...taken, over and over until they were both breathing heavily. Leaning his forehead against hers, the two stared at one another wordlessly until
Bella broke the silence.
"Home?"
"Home."
A/N: You know, I was going to make this chapter longer, but I think it would have then become overly long, and honestly, it's exhausting to write out these types of interchanges. You can't help but tense and feel some of what the two people on the page are feeling, so, I needed a break.
I hope you like it. I was so pleased to see that many of you love this pair as much as I do. They just endear me to them.
Till next time, reviews, follows, favorites are divine. Leave some love!
Xoxo - Ginja