Kara wakes to soft fingers threading through her hair and the sound of quiet voices in the background, and for a moment strongly debates the benefits of pretending she's still asleep. Eliza is home, and there's no way she'll be able to pretend she's fine once her foster mother sees her face. It's bad enough she's asleep during the day when she's never so much as needed a power nap before, she knows her face will give her away within seconds.
The worry in Eliza's voice decides her, and Kara resolutely keeps her eyes closed, holding carefully still to avoid giving herself away. Until she gets some handle on what she's feeling, she won't add to things. As guilty as she feels, as much as it seems like lying, she doesn't want to deal with Eliza's concerned lecture about this. She's made a decision, and she knows Eliza will feel obligated to try and talk her out of it. And after all she's already been through for answers, even knowing there will be more to face, she can't give up now.
"Are you sure she's okay?" Eliza is saying when Kara guiltily tunes into the conversation, nearly giving herself away with a sigh at how her foster mother is nagging her sister over something like a nap. To be fair the concern is valid, because Kara is definitely not okay, but it's also definitely not on Alex to fix.
"Mom, she's fine. I told you that. It's a nap, not a coma." The annoyance is as clear in Alex's voice as the worry in Eliza's, and Kara has to fight down a smile, because it's just so them. She's never really understood their relationship, but Alex has reassured her that it's not really something that can be understood.
"Don't you take that tone with me, Alex," Eliza scolds right on cue. No conversation between these two can be easy, and Kara is almost used to that by now.
"You're the one who is going to wake her," Alex points out, because Eliza's voice has been slowly rising for several minutes while Alex remains calm on at least the surface. Kara knows it's all as much of an act as her continued unconsciousness, can feel the tension in Alex's muscles where her head rests, but there's no trace of that in her voice. "If you're that worried, even though we know she doesn't get sick and she's not running a fever, go make her some chicken soup or something. Food always cheers her up."
Kara assumes Eliza sends Alex a sharp look when she feels a twitch that seems like a wince, but hears footsteps leave the room for the kitchen anyway. The fight is over, at least for now. "You can quit pretending now," Alex says after a minute, and Kara smiles at how well her sister knows her. "She's worried enough to be in there cooking for the next hour at least."
"I should have jumped in," Kara says as she opens her eyes, turning onto her back to look up at Alex as they talk. "I'm sorry I let you deal with her alone."
"I'm used to it," Alex says with a shrug, and Kara frowns, because that's not what she meant, and it hurts a little to think of all the times Alex has faced Eliza's disapproval over the years. "Besides, I'd probably do the same in your position." It's a lie, and they both know it, but it breaks the tension enough to let the moment pass.
"Maybe we should tell her," Kara says as she closes her eyes, no longer wincing at the images of a planet dying that bombard her as she does. It hurts, but it's a memory so clear it's almost tangible and that means she's getting somewhere. I know we'd have to convince her we know what we're doing, but maybe she remembers something that could help us."
"Unless you want to put the search off for another few years, I think we better stick to the plan," Alex says wryly, and Kara sighs in agreement. There's no way they could convince Eliza that trusting someone else with this knowledge is a good idea, let alone a reporter desperate for a good story. "Besides, you're the one convinced Cat will be able to dig something up with what we do know. Don't tell me you're losing your hookup confidence already."
"It wasn't a hookup!" Kara hisses, face reddening in embarrassment the same way it has all week, much to Alex's delight. "I told you nothing happened, and then I told you again, and then I told you ever word she said that night so you could see that nothing happened."
"And yet you still memorized every word she said to you," Alex points out, poking Kara in the side as she pouts. "Come on, that means something."
"It means I have a good memory," Kara says stubbornly, because that's the truth. It also ignores that moment on the garden wall when she'd wanted to kiss the other woman, but Alex doesn't need to know that. Not when it had only been a reaction to the emotional rollercoaster she'd been on, not when nothing will come of it. Telling Alex will only give her more ammunition to use against Kara as she teases.
"If you say so," Alex says doubtfully, and Kara sticks her tongue out at her. "Real mature, Celeste. How are you ever going to get the girl if you act like a child?"
"I've already told you I don't want to get the girl," Kara points out, shifting uncomfortably at Alex's words. Her sister clearly thinks it's a reaction to the point she'd made if the way her smirk deepens is anything to go by, so with a deep sigh Kara continues, hoping she won't hurt Alex's feelings or make her feel guilty. "And can you maybe just, I don't know, not call me that for a while?"
Alex looks surprised at the request, looking down at her with a blank expression for a moment as the words register. "Do you remember your birth name?" she asks after a moment, and Kara shakes her head. That much is still lost to her, but the name she'd been given still sits wrong.
"No, it's just weird," Kara tries to explain. "It's the only name I know, but it doesn't feel like me. It never really did, but especially now it just feels wrong somehow."
"Then I won't use it," Alex says instantly, easing some of Kara's worry. "You know I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable."
"Except stop teasing me about Cat," Kara grumbles, and the smirk Alex shoots her is enough to calm lingering worries that she'd overstepped with her request.
"That's the right of an older sister," Alex points out. "We tease younger siblings and scare potential love interests to make sure they're worthy. It's practically our job."
"If that was your job you'd definitely be up for a promotion," Kara grumbles teasingly, turning to look at the fire that's still burning behind the grate, letting her eyes follow the ever changing patterns. The reds both soothe and sting her, and somehow she knows that the color means something to her, to her past. She'll have to keep that in mind the next time she tries to bring back another memory.
"I strive for excellence, you know this," Alex teases back, hands restarting their gentle movements through her hair. "Mom's still going to call you Celeste, you know," she says after a minute, and Kara nods.
"I know. I know most people are. But knowing there's one person who won't, who understands, that makes it better." Kara knows it has to be confusing for Alex, it's a little confusing for her as well, but the reasoning doesn't really matter. She knows her sister will go with it even if she doesn't completely understand why. She understands it's important, and that's enough.
X
"I'm afraid I didn't find out much," Cat admits when she answers the door the next day. Kara wants to feel disappointed, but she'd known Cat wasn't having much luck, and she hadn't really expected otherwise. They have only the thinnest of leads at this point, unless Kara can somehow remember more of her past.
"We have a bit more, but not much," Alex says as Kara nods, knowing her sister will be able to get through recounting the details much easier than she would. It's all still too overwhelming for her at this point; all she'd accomplish trying to force the words out would be to make things harder on herself.
Alex is able to sum up what Kara has remembered in a few succinct sentences, and then Cat carefully begins to quiz Kara on specifics. It's somehow easier to answer actual questions than it would have been to go through everything on her own, though she does end up fighting back tears a few times as the memories press a little too hard against the balance she'd found.
"This all sounds familiar," Cat muses as she finishes organizing the few notes she'd gotten from Kara's memories. "I can't place where from, but it feels like part of a story I've heard before. I just don't have enough details to make the connection."
"I'm sorry," Kara whispers, feeling like she's letting not only herself but the woman helping her down by not remembering more. She doesn't have a name for herself or her planet, only the knowledge of her loss.
"Don't apologize for that," Cat says sharply, beating Alex to the punch. Kara can see her sister nod in agreement, but she stays uncharacteristically silent as Cat takes the lead. "The very first clear memory of your past is one most people would never be able to bear, no one expects you to take on more than that before you're ready."
"And before you even think about arguing with her, I'm warning you to stop and think about what you'd expect from me in the same situation," Alex jumps in as Kara opens her mouth to do just that. "Seriously, I know you want answers, but you can't blame yourself for not remembering."
"But the memories are there!" Kara exclaims, unable to help her outburst. "They're in my head; I should be able to get to them! It's my past; I should be able to remember it."
"And what happens when you do?" Cat asks with an unimpressed look, eyebrow raised in challenge. "If you suddenly remembered everything you've pushed away, what then? I know you want to remember, to know where you came from, but rushing things cannot be good for you."
The challenge in her voice is just a cover for a genuine worry, Kara knows her well enough after even just a week to know that. And it's a valid point, one that Kara hadn't considered in her need for answers. What would she do if it all came back at once?
"You will remember, you have to believe that," Cat continues when she sees Kara accept that point. "One step at a time, we will solve this."
"Asking her to be patient is like asking the sun to stand still," Alex says wryly as Kara blushes and glares at her. It's true, she's never been a patient person, but she doesn't like her sister and newest friend ganging up on her like this. Especially not when they share twin grins at the way Kara whines inarticulately as Alex continues. "She's like a toddler on a sugar rush, and has usually eaten enough candy to practically be one."
"If I promise to try and be patient will you both quit teasing me?" she practically begs, shooting them both pouting look that Alex at least has never been able to resist. It seems to work just as well on Cat, or at least the woman is willing to drop it for now.
"I suppose we should focus on the task at hand," Cat concedes without a fight, flushing a little as Kara shoots her a bright, thankful smile. "As I said earlier, the story sounds familiar, and I'm sure with a little searching and perhaps another few details should you happen to remember anything more I'll be able to remember why."
"I could try to remember something while I'm here," Kara offers hesitantly, not because she necessarily wants to avoid the pain she knows will come, but because she isn't sure she wants Cat to see her break down yet again. Still, another fact or two would be immeasurably helpful, and if the woman hasn't been put off by her emotional reactions so far, Kara doesn't think once more will do anything. "I know I promised to be patient, and I won't push for everything, but if I can remember something small it will help, right?"
"Only if you're sure," Alex says before Cat can even open her mouth, though Kara can tell she agrees. "We don't need to solve everything today, if it will be too much then you should wait."
"It won't be too much," Kara says with more confidence than she feels, though she does believe she can handle it. Between Cat and her sister, she has the best support system she could ask for, each grounding her in their own way.
"What do you need from us then?" Cat asks, looking ready to spring into action as soon as Kara says the word.
"Well, last time the memory was sparked by Alex popping popcorn," Kara admits, wincing a little as she remembers the sound of her planet's debris hitting the sides of her ship. "But this time I think I can remember on my own? Kind of take the memory I do have and trace back from there?" It makes sense to her at least, using the one clear moment in her mind to branch out to others, but she isn't sure it will work. Not without trying. But if it does, hopefully it's easier on her emotions than last time.
"You can use the guest room, you know where it is," Cat says instantly, and Kara shoots her a grateful look. "We'll give you some time and some quiet, but we'll be right here if you need us."
"Thank you," is all Kara says as she heads down the hallway, but she can see from two sets of eyes that both women understand just how much emotion is in those two words.
X
After Kara has settled into the room and presumably into whatever she's doing to bring back another memory, Cat starts to study Alex, noting the other woman doing the same. They have an easy truce, both worried about Kara and wanting her to be happy, but they don't know much about each other beyond that. And Cat thinks that maybe that should change.
"Why do you trust me?" she asks bluntly, instinct telling her that Alex will respond better to direct questions than she will to any attempts at circling the issue. "You're clearly very protective of your sister, and I'll admit I wouldn't have expected you to trust me the way you have."
Alex measures her words carefully before speaking, Cat can tell that from the tension in the woman's shoulders, but knows that she will get an answer. "Because she trusts you," Alex says eventually, gaze direct and clear as she stares at Cat. "I've seen her around a lot of people, and not once has she felt comfortable with someone as quickly as she has with you. I don't know why, I don't think she even knows why, but she is. And I have to respect that."
It's not the answer Cat had been expecting, but she nods anyway, because it makes sense. She's felt the same level of comfort, the same inexplicable connection between them. She doesn't know where it comes from, because she usually keeps everyone at not only arm but football field length from her, but there's no denying it. She trusts Kara as much as Kara trusts her, and at this point that's all there is to it.
"I meant it, you know. I won't publish anything about this that she doesn't specifically ask me to." Cat isn't sure why she feels the need to reassure Alex on that point, but she knows it's important. This isn't a story to her, not unless Kara wants it to be. This is about helping someone who deserves to be helped.
"And that's the other reason I'm willing to share," Alex says with a slightly forced smile. "It's hard to believe you, but I know you won't. Somehow when you promise that, I do believe you. I guess I trust you on my own, not just because she does. But I swear, if you break your promise, if you hurt her in any way, I will make you regret it."
"Fair enough," Cat says, ignoring the barely hidden message beneath part of Alex's words, knowing it's a valid warning, even if she'll never need to prove she means it. And with that out of the way, the two settle into a comfortable silence, each engrossed with research on their phones, searching for anything they can find with what little they have to go on.
When Kara enters the room she does so in complete silence, completely unnoticed by either woman until Cat looks up and has to choke back a scream at how suddenly she'd seemed to appear. She's grateful in the next moment that she'd managed to stifle her reaction, because it's clear from the look on Kara's face that the last thing she needs is a shock of her own.
"Krypton," is all she says, the look in her eyes staring past them as if she doesn't fully register their presence, and Cat stands before she realizes she's moving, crossing the room at the same time Alex does to move to Kara's side. "My planet's name was Krypton."
That rings even more bells in Cat's mind, but at the moment she's too concerned with making sure Kara is okay to pay them any attention. "Are you okay?" she asks quietly, reaching out slowly to rest her hand on Kara's forearm, hoping the touch is soothing rather than startling. "What did you remember?"
The look of pain on Kara's face deepens for a moment as she visibly gathers herself, standing straighter with an unconscious tilt of her head, posture somehow formal despite her casual attire. "I remember who I am. Who I lost. There is still so much I cannot remember, but I remember that I am Kara Zor-El, last daughter of the House of El, from the planet Krypton." Her speech is as formal as her posture, and Cat fights to keep from shrinking back, wondering at how different the woman in front of her is from the girl she'd known as Celeste. This version is tempered by pain, by loss, with the weight of more than Cat can imagine on her shoulders.
And then, as suddenly as the stiffness had appeared, it's gone, leaving Kara standing with a sad smile on her face. But it's the smile Cat knows, the woman she's come to care for so quickly. "It's nice to meet you, Kara," she says when the silence stretches a beat too long, not sure what else to say.
From the way Kara smiles, Cat thinks it might have been the right thing to say after all. "I remember my family, Cat. I remember their faces, the way they loved me. I don't know what happened to them, or how I got to Earth, but I remember who I came from."
X
The bullets the humans had shot at her are like nothing Astra has encountered before, and she quickly learns to keep them shielded in their casings lest they weaken her. Something about them is poisonous to her, going beyond leeching her powers and seeming to sap her very life from her veins if she exposes herself to their field for too long.
Whatever the material is, it's clearly dangerous, and Astra retreats to her well-hidden pod and the advanced computing power it gives her, scanning each bullet carefully before letting the computer analyze the samples. She's no scientist, not the way her brother in law had been, but with the help of her pod's information banks and the knowledge that every Kryptonian learns before adulthood, she's confident that she'll be able to find some kind of answer. The solution might be harder, but she knows she'll find it. She refuses to let these humans best her.
It seems a cruel injustice of the universe when the pod reveals the bullets are a part of her planet, one that nearly drives Astra to violence against the trees surrounding her clearing. How dare they use her home against her? How dare the universe rob her of any connection to the planet she loves in a way she can never love Earth?
In the end it's the knowledge that to let her emotions have free reign will likely result in her detection that calms Astra, because now more than ever subtlety and care with her actions is of utmost importance. She cannot take risks, not when there are this many unknowns. No, now is the time to pull back even further from the world, to devote herself to examining every atom of this sudden and uncomfortable weakness, until it can no longer harm her, or Kara.
Patience may not come naturally to a concerned aunt who wants nothing more than to hold the last member of her family in her arms again, but to a General, even a retired General, it's a lesson learned in ways that cannot be forgotten. As long as it takes to solve this, Astra will wait.